Schuyler Bishop

Schuyler Bishop

Member Westchester Collaborative Theater (WCT).
March 2021 WCT Zoom 'A Pair of Pears' part of Living Art Event
Sept. 2020 WCT Zoom reading of Memory Lapse rewrite
June 2020: WCT Zoom performance of coronavirus shorts
Feb. 2020: Memory Lapse (one act) reading, WCT
Jan. 2020: Overtime Theater, San Antonio, production of Gay Men with Wives (since renamed and rewritten...
Member Westchester Collaborative Theater (WCT).
March 2021 WCT Zoom 'A Pair of Pears' part of Living Art Event
Sept. 2020 WCT Zoom reading of Memory Lapse rewrite
June 2020: WCT Zoom performance of coronavirus shorts
Feb. 2020: Memory Lapse (one act) reading, WCT
Jan. 2020: Overtime Theater, San Antonio, production of Gay Men with Wives (since renamed and rewritten as 'Sperm Elation')
Oct. 2019: For Bryan full reading at WCT (since rewritten and renamed 'Life Wasted')
June 2016: Bookwriter and co-lyricist, ‘Houdini,’ optioned for Broadway but never produced
Many years ago two of my plays were produced Off-Off Broadway in NYC, and I was
commissioned by the Actors Theatre of Louisville to write a one-act.
Actor in several OOB productions.
Dramatists Guild member

I've had stories published in The New York Times, Sports Illustrated and in Best Gay Love Stories 2005.
An anthology I edited and wrote a chunk of was published by St. Martin's Press.
My novel, "Thoreau in Love," is available on Amazon and in select bookstores.
Recently, I've written three full-length plays, seven mostly very short one-acts, the book to a musical, and two musicals in search of a composer.

Plays

  • Memory Lapse
    After just making love on the first anniversary the day they met, Tracy can't remember anything, not even Tim's name. Is she kidding? Is she angry about something Tim did? He tries to trigger her memories, but when it seems hopeless he asks if they should go to the emergency room. Tracy says she's fine, she just can't remember anything. She only remembers things about her father, who she...
    After just making love on the first anniversary the day they met, Tracy can't remember anything, not even Tim's name. Is she kidding? Is she angry about something Tim did? He tries to trigger her memories, but when it seems hopeless he asks if they should go to the emergency room. Tracy says she's fine, she just can't remember anything. She only remembers things about her father, who she adores. Tim keeps trying to bring her memory back, and after he wonders if he was too rough, that she asked him to choke her, she comes to a horrible remembrance of what happened when she was five, which her aunt told her about but she never believed. They come through the horror, together and stronger.
  • Life Wasted
    Bryan, a middle aged black man down on his luck and abandoned by the love of his life because of his past drinking problem, is wrongly arrested and charged with assaulting a police officer, Mike Mulkern, who is scamming the department, pretending his broken arm occurred on the job. Mike’s partner, Terry, new on the job, wanting to make a difference and totally frustrated by what she sees, tries to help Bryan,...
    Bryan, a middle aged black man down on his luck and abandoned by the love of his life because of his past drinking problem, is wrongly arrested and charged with assaulting a police officer, Mike Mulkern, who is scamming the department, pretending his broken arm occurred on the job. Mike’s partner, Terry, new on the job, wanting to make a difference and totally frustrated by what she sees, tries to help Bryan, as does Rennie, Bryan’s ex, as Bryan falls through the cracks of the justice system and then into the crevasse in our health system where the uninsured fall to their deaths. Bryan's saving grace is his understanding of love.
  • Beautiful Dreamer
    BEAUTIFUL DREAMER
    (the untold story of Stephen Foster, as revealed through his songs)

    In this one-man show (based mainly on historical fact) that’s set in a dingy public room in a Bowery hotel very early on the frigid morning of Jan. 10, 1864, all that’s onstage is a well-worn upright piano. Upstage left and up a step or two is a wooden door that leads to the...
    BEAUTIFUL DREAMER
    (the untold story of Stephen Foster, as revealed through his songs)

    In this one-man show (based mainly on historical fact) that’s set in a dingy public room in a Bowery hotel very early on the frigid morning of Jan. 10, 1864, all that’s onstage is a well-worn upright piano. Upstage left and up a step or two is a wooden door that leads to the room where a Drunken Man (Stephen Foster) locks himself in. George Cooper, Stephen Foster’s writing partner, drunkenly stumbles onstage. He and Stephen had a very public fight earlier that night after George discovered Stephen had worked with another young man on a new song, and Stephen, shamed and jeered as a pansy by the patrons of that bar, had fled into the night. George is here to make amends and get the drunken Stephen back to their hovel.

    Because the unscrupulous music publishers screwed him out of the royalties of his popular songs, while black-faced minstrel singers claimed his songs as their own, Stephen has always lived on the edge of poverty, but things got much worse in the late 1850s when Stephen’s songs pretty much went out of favor. Since he and George got together in New York City, they have been scraping by, writing and selling the new style of songs for enough money to stay drunk and live in bare circumstances in the Five Points slum.

    At first George tries to coax Stephen out of the room with the promise of more rum, but Stephen, silent throughout the play, isn’t biting. Knowing Stephen has threatened suicide and that he’s hurt Stephen deeply by publicly denigrating his talent, George desperately plays many of Stephen’s songs, trying to remind Stephen what a great genius he is.

    George knows all of Stephen’s stories, his early life, his many crushes, why he married his wife and how little he actually lived with her. In trying to get Stephen out, he recounts those stories, from his hearing the songs of black stevedores loading and unloading steamboats in Cincinnati to writing songs for the black-face minstrels Stephen is now condemned for, to the love songs he wrote with and for his various crushes, and in playing Stephen’s songs he sees that Stephen, like Harriet Beecher Stowe, the Uncle Tom's Cabin author, made white America begin to understand that slaves were also people, with emotions and feelings just like them.

    Stephen, always afraid what his family would think of him if they really knew him, was raised by a mother always dreaming of the glorious days when they had money and a lovely house, which they lost when Stephen was just a little boy. And as with so many in the 1840s and 1850s, the issue of slavery ripped the Foster family apart.
    
George, who fought in the battle of Gettysburg six months before and still can’t close his eyes without seeing the bloody horror of that battle, the literal piles of bodies and limbs rotting on the battlefield, threatens to re-enlist because he would rather die than live without Stephen. George spews about life in New York City, with the poor masses working in horrible factories making uniforms and caps for the army, while the factory owners making money off the blood of young Americans are driving around in fancy carriages, untouched by the bloody war. Still, he revels in Lincoln’s astounding Emancipation Proclamation and get a huge kick out of seeing an ad for Barnum’s Giant Boy, 8-feet-six-inches tall, and joyously tries to get Stephen to go with him to Barnum’s Museum. But nothing gets Stephen out of his room.

    Finally, in desperation, George tells Stephen he is in love with him, sings Beautiful Dreamer to him. But it is too late. Stephen has slit his own throat with a shard of a porcelain vase, though it’s the audience who first sees blood dripping out from under Stephen’s door.

    When performed, the credits should include a George Spelvin type actor playing Stephen Foster, as the drama would be heightened with the audience thinking Foster will come out at some point.

    As with many well-known authors in the 19th century, Foster's family, thinking of his legacy and whatever money they might make from that legacy, destroyed letters to his loves and tried to make the world think Foster accidentally fell on a vase, smashing it and slicing his throat in the process. Though that ridiculous scenario is a near impossibility, it's easier to accept than suicide by a drunken, depressed, closeted pansy.
    The Music Samples below are just some YouTube of Stephen Foster's songs, though to be sung with desperation in the play.
  • Gay Men and Their Wives
    It's July, 2009. Larry Stratton is the alpha dog city councilman who needs his life to be the perfect picture of marital bliss, while Mindy, his wife, wants everything to change; she hates how Larry takes her for granted, she hates the constant drive-by rap in their sewer of a city, and she hates her teaching job, but at least the kids are away for three weeks at camp. She conveniently ignores all the...
    It's July, 2009. Larry Stratton is the alpha dog city councilman who needs his life to be the perfect picture of marital bliss, while Mindy, his wife, wants everything to change; she hates how Larry takes her for granted, she hates the constant drive-by rap in their sewer of a city, and she hates her teaching job, but at least the kids are away for three weeks at camp. She conveniently ignores all the signs that Larry has been having sex for years with Tom Robinson, their neighbor. Larry’s mother, Ruth, an erstwhile Presbyterian church lady who came alive after her husband died, is a ghostly one-person Greek Chorus who’s able to teleport herself to her son’s house. Tom and his wife, Carida, accept their life for what it is, except for the minor wrinkles that they want badly to have a kid, that Tom’s sperm count results are terrible and that Tom is convinced that he’s gay. How to get pregnant--Larry’s sperm or the fertility clinic, where a young man has “donated” his sperm regularly for two years?—brings about hijinks and farce, and then Larry’s brother Keith, who disappeared ten years earlier, just after giving a torrid best-man toast at Mindy and Larry’s wedding, enters. Larry wants nothing to do with him, but Tom and Carida fall for him, upsetting the order Larry has set up.

    In Act 2, Tom and Keith, amazed at how quickly everything has happened, kiss. Carida enters, and it turns out the night before they had an amazing threesome, but Keith, not wanting to screw up their marriage, says he has to leave—immediately. Tom and Carida try to dissuade him, but he goes out to his car, followed by Tom. Just after Mindy enters and insults Keith, Mindy raves to Carida that they have to fight for their men or they’ll all become fags. But Carida, knowing Tom can’t be happy and wouldn’t be Tom without the gay part of him, wants Keith to stay. After deciding not to keep running from himself, Keith, who's happy here with Tim and Carida, lets on that he’d been dumped by a famous Mystery Man in San Francisco, after being with him for nine years.
    That night, Tom, Carida and Keith sneak into the Straton house to surprise them, but no one’s home. Watching video on Carida’s iPhone, Keith says Larry and Mindy’s son is gay. As Tom dances wildly to get his sperms to move and is joined by Carida and Keith and the ghostly Ruth, Mindy and Larry enter. Larry’s political party is set on his running for the now vacant congressional seat, but Mindy doesn’t want to be one of those humiliated wives standing by her shamed husband. They make promises, and just when everything seems to be going well, Keith reveals that he and Larry had sex regularly as kids. Larry insists it was only blow jobs and jerking off, President Clinton, but Mindy freaks. Keith argues that for them, in their screwed-up household, it was normal; he was and is proud of Larry and excited his running for congress. Mindy, Tom and Carida escape to the garage, where, with their help, Mindy recovers somewhat. Mindy watches video, sees Tommy is gay and is okay with it. Larry tells Keith he can’t live without Tom.
    A couple of weeks later, Keith enters on Tom, who’s happily studying. Carida enters, sure she’s pregnant with a girl. General excitement, then Larry and Mindy enter, followed by the real live Ruth, come to help pick up the kids from camp. Larry asks Tom to be his campaign manager, but Tom says no, that he’s going to go to school to become a physician’s assistant. Keith walks his mother out to the car while the rarely hurt Larry spews how they’re dreaming if they think it’s ok to be gay. And he walks out, as he did to Keith so many years before. Mindy, though bonding with Keith, follows. Left alone, the three are excited that Tom stood up for himself and that Carida’s pregnant, and they talk about checking out their daughter’s boyfriends, which offends Tom. The play ends on the humorous note of Tom wondering what they’ll do if their daughter’s a lesbian.



  • Our Sporting Life
    With minimal scenery and imaginary props, in an homage to Our Town, Our Sporting Life takes place over 15 years, 1984-1999, in the NYC offices of that most ideal workplace, Sporting Life magazine. But as with modern corporate American life, bubbling to the surface there’s lust for power, blatant racism, love, sexual assault, jealousy, ass-kissing, hubris, life and death.

    Sassy Jackson, a Brooklyn...
    With minimal scenery and imaginary props, in an homage to Our Town, Our Sporting Life takes place over 15 years, 1984-1999, in the NYC offices of that most ideal workplace, Sporting Life magazine. But as with modern corporate American life, bubbling to the surface there’s lust for power, blatant racism, love, sexual assault, jealousy, ass-kissing, hubris, life and death.

    Sassy Jackson, a Brooklyn welfare mom at 15, is now head of the clerks who deliver copy and artwork to the editors and fact checkers. She gives us the particulars of the magazine and some of the characters we meet. After all she's gone through in Brooklyn--the deaths of her young husband and brother, her favorite cousin incarcerated, raising twin girls--Sporting Life is a piece of cake.

    Alex Holt, who thinks he’s her boss and eventually is, wants to be good but just doesn’t know how. Like a 19th-century slaveowner, he feels entitled to Sassy and Che, a clerk who’s in and out of the action throughout the play and has fallen for Grant, who has the hardest time saying more than hello to her. Alex hears that company-wide layoffs are coming and tries to make the most of his inside information. Meanwhile, Roger, a good ole’ boy racist editor whose wife is in the hospital delivering their third child, wrangles Felix into calling All-Pro linebacker LT at 5:30 in the morning to ask what color his car is.

    The Layoff Rumors flash around the office, targeting Tommy and Babs, who’s been there since the magazine started. Tommy gets beaten down, goes to the Outside World, and Babs isn't seen till the end of the play. Frank, the big boss who's performing the job he’s dreamed about doing since he was a kid in South Boston, tries to figure what’s wrong with this week’s edition. Meanwhile, the 5 AM phone call to LT is creating a firestorm of protest among black players across all sports, who refuse to speak to anyone at the magazine. Grant and Jack, the two straight-shooters, figure what's wrong with the week's issue, and the magazine is ripped apart and an unknown Olympic hopeful, Greg Louganis, is put on the cover. Grant offers himself up to the layoffs, but Frank tells him women like Che don’t come along every day and promotes him. Frank apologizes to LT but gets rid of Roger, and, with the help of Jack and Grant, hires black writers and editors.

    Alex tries to squelch Che's relationship with Grant. Woody disses the black writer (Billie) and editor and behaves inappropriately to Rennie. Connie, married now and with a baby, realizes the Outside World isn’t nearly as scary as she'd thought. Che and Grant go to city hall to get secretly married, but everyone shows up to wish them well, and Frank, in an FU to corporate heads who told him to cut budget while his staff is working like crazy, takes whole staff for 3 days in Orlando. The Act ends with Woody becoming the big boss.

    The second act starts in 1999, with Rennie undeservingly having been promoted to staff writer, with Woody wanting to expose lesbians in the LPGA and with star writer Nick DeSoto's return to the magazine with a great, heartwarming story. Woody is focused on finding out if Billie is a lesbian. Alex’s wife calls from the Outside World with alarming news that her headaches aren’t just headaches and that she needs an MRI, but Alex feels he's too important and busy at work to join her. We skip a couple of days and find that DeSoto’s story is not at all true, but despite the magazine’s reputation, Woody decides to run it as is. Paul and Grant go along, but Rebecca, who got the facts, quits the magazine and goes to the Outside World. Alex’s wife dies of a massive brain tumor, but he comes in to work the day after the funeral, and Paul, in a throwback to the old days, helps Alex back to the Outside World to deal with his grief. In the Outside World, Billie and Rebecca are impressed with Paul's beneficence and talk about the good old days and even though Frank and Tommy try to dissuade them, they go back to those days and see things they didn’t know about and don’t really want to see: Alex making Che blow him; Babs getting fired by Frank for personal, not business, reasons, and, having nothing else in her life, killing herself; Frank and Paul getting bonuses for hiring women and minorities; Woody rubbing himself against the seated Rennie’s back, and Rennie turning to unzip him. They talk about life, what sports means to them, and work, and realize there’s much more to life, that they must reach out and touch one another, and then a protesting Che is taken to the Outside World of death by Babs, to Grant’s cries of grief, and the play ends with all on stage, taking each other’s hands.