Keith Varney

Keith Varney

KEITH VARNEY: has written Book, Music and Lyrics in various combinations for I GOT FIRED (NYMF, DIMF - Best American Musical), BLOODY, BLOODY ANGELA LANSBURY: MURDER SHE WROTE LIVE, ELWAY: THE MUSICAL, THE OTHER SEX, JOSHUA: THE MUSICAL, PIE EATER & SCOOBY DOOSICAL. He has written songs for Submissions Only, Hot Mess in Manhattan, See You Lighter, My Mother is a Sex Therapist & Dystopia Gardens. As an...
KEITH VARNEY: has written Book, Music and Lyrics in various combinations for I GOT FIRED (NYMF, DIMF - Best American Musical), BLOODY, BLOODY ANGELA LANSBURY: MURDER SHE WROTE LIVE, ELWAY: THE MUSICAL, THE OTHER SEX, JOSHUA: THE MUSICAL, PIE EATER & SCOOBY DOOSICAL. He has written songs for Submissions Only, Hot Mess in Manhattan, See You Lighter, My Mother is a Sex Therapist & Dystopia Gardens. As an actor he has performed professionally in musicals including Les Miserables, The Producers, The Full Monty, Titanic and I Got Fired (Best Actor in a Musical - DIMF). He has a degree in classical voice from the Eastman School of Music. He is also a horror novelist (The Dead Circle, Beneath The Snow).

Plays

  • I Got Fired: A Sort-of-True Revenge Musical
    I GOT FIRED SYNOPSIS

    Keith, an aspiring writer is fired from his long-term office job (I GOT FIRED). He begins to narrate the sequence of events leading up to his termination. A year earlier, the wacky family of office workers at the Manhattan Medical School is joined by a new employee, Jenny (THE DAILY GRIND). Jenny is smart, cute and brutally ambitious. Her mission is to become the manager of...
    I GOT FIRED SYNOPSIS

    Keith, an aspiring writer is fired from his long-term office job (I GOT FIRED). He begins to narrate the sequence of events leading up to his termination. A year earlier, the wacky family of office workers at the Manhattan Medical School is joined by a new employee, Jenny (THE DAILY GRIND). Jenny is smart, cute and brutally ambitious. Her mission is to become the manager of the office and take over KATHY’S OFFICE DOWN THE HALL. Jenny convinces the vapid head of the department Dr Weinberg, to create an Assistant Manager position. Kathy, the manager, interviews each member of the office (EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE THE BOSS). When Keith turns down the commitment of job because he still holds dreams of being a writer, Kathy reluctantly gives the position to Jenny.

    With the tiniest amount of extra power, Jenny immediately attempts to turn the office into her private tyranny. Kathy snaps her back and reminds her she has no real power. Naturally Jenny decides to MAKE A MOVE to take Kathy down. She blackmails several of her co-workers into making it look like Kathy broke several serious medical regulations. Dr Weinberg summarily fires Kathy (THINGS HAVE GONE TO SHIT) and declares her position up for grabs.

    Finally roused to action, Keith decides to go after Kathy’s job and declares war on Jenny. The office workers split their allegiances between Keith and Jenny and the civil war begins (OFFICE WARFARE). With Jenny temporarily in charge, Keith and his army sabotage all of the office work while Jenny desperately attempts to keep things together. After a climactic battle (YOU SUCK), Keith and Jenny officially interview for the job (GIMME THE JOB).

    Keith is in the lead and Weinberg tells him he will get the job if he creates a high-stakes Powerpoint presentation for him. Jenny hears this and on the eve of the presentation, steals Keith’s Powerpoint and plans to take credit for it. Keith is forced to make THE DECISION to allow Jenny to take credit, but not before cosmically sabotaging the Powerpoint. Weinberg delivers the disaster of a presentation and, humiliated, fires Jenny on the spot.

    Not expecting his sabotage to cost Jenny her job, Keith returns to apologize to discover that Jenny has turned the tables back on him. She makes it look like he stole & sabotaged her presentation. Keith is fired and Jenny takes over Kathy’s job. As Keith packs up his possessions, he searches for MEANING.

    Keith returns home and sits down at the piano. He begins to write the musical I GOT FIRED.
  • Elway: The Musical
    Elway: The Musical Book, Music & Lyrics by Keith Varney
    Synopsis (based on a true story… with a ton of liberties taken)
    John Elway is the son of a poor farmer in Colorado . John’s dream is to of play quarterback in the NFL for the Denver Broncos and win the Superbowl. He’s not so bright, but he’s got a big heart and thrives on childlike optimism. His father, who was also a big dreamer but had...
    Elway: The Musical Book, Music & Lyrics by Keith Varney
    Synopsis (based on a true story… with a ton of liberties taken)
    John Elway is the son of a poor farmer in Colorado . John’s dream is to of play quarterback in the NFL for the Denver Broncos and win the Superbowl. He’s not so bright, but he’s got a big heart and thrives on childlike optimism. His father, who was also a big dreamer but had faced nothing but failure, sends him off to college to redeem the Elway name. John is drafted by his beloved Broncos and arrives in Denver to discover that the city is mired in misery and depression on every level.
    John’s head coach Dan Reeves has a reputation for being a terrifying hard-ass coach, but comes in spouting new-age peace & love anger management techniques that have been court ordered after an incident in which Dan bit off the ear of the Broncos’ previous quarterback on national television.
    Meanwhile, the love story emerges as John falls for Julie, a young resident who works for the Broncos team doctor. She was a nerd in school and can’t stand dumb jocks. John, being a jock…and dumb… has some work to do. The team, because Dan would rather hold hands and pass the energy while doing whale chants than teach football, has a complete lack of structure and discipline. Luckily, John has a ton of natural talent and he leads them to the Superbowl. Which they lose.
    A new assistant coach, Mike Shanahan, is brought in to help give the Broncos a shot of energy and a killer instinct. He is Dan’s polar opposite and does nothing to help Dan’s anger management. John throws himself into Mike’s new philosophy which turns out to be very successful. However, the killer instinct causes them to unnecessarily humiliate another team who subsequently faces the Broncos in the next Superbowl looking for revenge. Naturally, the Broncos lose again.
    John is now becoming world famous for losing Superbowls. He is incredibly distressed because he believes he is letting his father down. After trying to win Dan’s way, then Mike’s way, he decides to stop listening to anybody (including his now, girlfriend Julie) and doing everything his way. The team is torn in three different directions (Dan, Mike and John) and naturally loses a third Superbowl by an even greater margin. Dan melts down and streaks the Superbowl and is promptly fired.
    At John’s lowest moment, Janet brings John and his father together. John has been afraid to talk to his father because he was too ashamed of being a loser. John’s father explains that John isn’t a loser at all and that he has revitalized an entire city with the Bronco’s success. The economy has improved because of the team, and the people of Denver have something to collectively root for and feel good about. He also explains that winning was never important, the Elway name is saved by John being a good man.
    In a montage, seven years pass as John refocuses on his relationship with Janet (they get married and have a kid) and football becomes less and less important as he accepts and embraces his life as an adult, husband and father.
    After 14 years of playing John decides, back at the farm at his father’s funeral, that he’s ready to retire. John is happy with his life and satisfied with his career. Julie convinces him that now that he’s taken care of his family and grown into a mature and responsible man that he should take one more shot at his little-kid dream before he retires. Just for fun. Of course, revitalized and refocused, John takes the Broncos back to one final Superbowl where he faces a team (ironically, but it’s true!) coached by Dan Reeves. On the last play of the game, John heroically scores a touchdown securing the Broncos victory and his place in NFL history. Confetti.