Craig Houk

Craig Houk

Craig Houk is a D.C. based actor, writer and director. He holds a BA in Theatre from Bowling Green State University. Prior to relocating to D.C. in November of 2015, Craig spent two decades working primarily as an actor in the New England area. A former member of Actors' Equity Association, Craig resigned his membership in 2005 with the singular goal of reclaiming equilibrium in his career. Since then, he...
Craig Houk is a D.C. based actor, writer and director. He holds a BA in Theatre from Bowling Green State University. Prior to relocating to D.C. in November of 2015, Craig spent two decades working primarily as an actor in the New England area. A former member of Actors' Equity Association, Craig resigned his membership in 2005 with the singular goal of reclaiming equilibrium in his career. Since then, he has had the great fortune to play numerous varied and gratifying roles and to work with countless gifted actors, directors, designers, and theatre companies.

By downloading any of the plays below, you hereby acknowledge that Craig Houk is the sole owner of all rights in and to these plays. None of these plays may be produced or reproduced in whole or in part unless written application is made to and written authorization is received from Craig Houk.

Plays

  • Radiator
    Lou Brunazzi and André Cooper live across the hall from each other in a shabby apartment building in Hunts Point, NY. In the space between their units stands a noisy radiator, which is connected to a deteriorating boiler. Determined to stop the whistling, hissing and banging that’s keeping him awake at night, André endeavors to turn the thermostat off, but is cut short by Lou who is determined to keep the...
    Lou Brunazzi and André Cooper live across the hall from each other in a shabby apartment building in Hunts Point, NY. In the space between their units stands a noisy radiator, which is connected to a deteriorating boiler. Determined to stop the whistling, hissing and banging that’s keeping him awake at night, André endeavors to turn the thermostat off, but is cut short by Lou who is determined to keep the radiator running at all costs. What begins as a battlefield between two seemingly inconsolable men evolves, bit by bit, into a makeshift sitting room where the pair begin to form a unique bond, which, in due course, grows into an enduring friendship. RADIATOR is also a love story; as much a love story as there can exist between two men who were never meant to be together.
  • Cold Rain
    Carly Weekes is a witch. And so too are her older sisters, Lolly and Shirley. Determined to find Carly a mate, the three cast a circle to summon a popular recording artist from Colorado named Joe Rekowski. During the incantation, however, Shirley, critical of Carly’s witching abilities, hijacks the proceedings and casts a dubious and possibly deadly spell. Worried that Carly and her intending husband &...
    Carly Weekes is a witch. And so too are her older sisters, Lolly and Shirley. Determined to find Carly a mate, the three cast a circle to summon a popular recording artist from Colorado named Joe Rekowski. During the incantation, however, Shirley, critical of Carly’s witching abilities, hijacks the proceedings and casts a dubious and possibly deadly spell. Worried that Carly and her intending husband & offspring might now be cursed, Lolly endeavors to reverse the hex, but fails dramatically, resulting in her expulsion to an alternate world. Years later, twin sisters Tina and Rose Pacheco mysteriously drown. And though the case goes cold, many believe that Carly’s oldest son, Johnny, may have had something to do with their deaths. COLD RAIN is an account of a family bound by black magic; a dark and sometimes comical tale of ill-conceived machinations, misdirected resentment, and repressed desire.
  • Prone
    Prone is an account of the tumultuous relationship between two lovers with starkly contrasting childhoods; one who grew up in an environment of inconceivable support and praise and one who grew up in an environment of intense abuse and neglect. Ben, a struggling actor with no financial or emotional resources available to draw upon, finds himself trapped in a seemingly loveless relationship with Alan, an...
    Prone is an account of the tumultuous relationship between two lovers with starkly contrasting childhoods; one who grew up in an environment of inconceivable support and praise and one who grew up in an environment of intense abuse and neglect. Ben, a struggling actor with no financial or emotional resources available to draw upon, finds himself trapped in a seemingly loveless relationship with Alan, an affluent and calculating man with a mysterious profession and an even more mysterious friend, David. When Ben reaches his breaking point, he calls upon his colorfully wicked friend, Anne, to assist him in hiring a hit man to eliminate Alan. Caught in the middle of all this chaos is Alan’s sister, Sarah, an emotionally wrecked individual whose addiction to prescription medications might likely be the cause of her wild imaginations and, later, an ill-fated deed. Rounding out this bizarre cast of characters is Ed, the man hired to take Alan out. Alliances shift as the plot progresses and not until the astonishing finale do we ever really discover who has the upper hand.
  • Brute Farce
    Four vengeful, narcissistic actors, with the assistance of a brutish stage manager and a cynical stagehand, kidnap and hold hostage a theater critic notorious for shutting down productions and ending careers through his malicious reviews. To confound matters, they intend to carry their plan out during a performance of a show they’re all currently appearing in. Less than an hour before the curtain is due to rise...
    Four vengeful, narcissistic actors, with the assistance of a brutish stage manager and a cynical stagehand, kidnap and hold hostage a theater critic notorious for shutting down productions and ending careers through his malicious reviews. To confound matters, they intend to carry their plan out during a performance of a show they’re all currently appearing in. Less than an hour before the curtain is due to rise, their scheme begins to quickly unravel as we discover that none of the conspirators are familiar with the actual plan or its designed outcome. The results are at once dark and hilarious. Brute Farce is a satirical commentary on the perpetually symbiotic, oftentimes dysfunctional, and occasionally turbulent relationship between actors and reviewers.
  • A Fairly Wide Stance
    On June 11, 2007, Larry Craig, then Republican United States Senator from Idaho, was arrested on suspicion of lewd conduct in the men’s restroom at the Minneapolis–Saint Paul International Airport. A Fairly Wide Stance is loosely (and not so loosely) based on that event and related events. In this piece, I imagine the Senator as a man who plays fast and loose with the truth and with reality, as does his wife...
    On June 11, 2007, Larry Craig, then Republican United States Senator from Idaho, was arrested on suspicion of lewd conduct in the men’s restroom at the Minneapolis–Saint Paul International Airport. A Fairly Wide Stance is loosely (and not so loosely) based on that event and related events. In this piece, I imagine the Senator as a man who plays fast and loose with the truth and with reality, as does his wife and adoptive parents. The results are alternately hysterical and frightening. Rounding out the cast are the Senator’s two children whose lives and relationships are anything but conventional, the rugged police officer who exposes the details of what lead up to the Senator’s arrest, and a gregarious gay man who uses his public encounter with the Senator as an opportunity to find a husband.
  • Porn Star
    A well built and effete middle aged porn actor invites a young man to his posh home only to discover he’s not age of consent. A man of morals, the porn actor decides to, instead of putting his sexual prowess on display, share his wisdom and experience with the young man. This proves to be more of a challenge than he expects, considering the young man has only one thing on his mind.
  • Relationship Expert
    A hopelessly single gay man shares his meticulous views on relationships with an unsuspecting and disinterested man on the prowl at a night club.
  • Diva
    A celebrated elderly actress takes a role in an off Broadway production and is compelled to share a dressing room with an up and coming starry-eyed young actress. A torch is passed in a most unexpected way.
  • Aloof
    A reclusive patient shares his sexual exploits and his fantasies of murder with a psychiatrist who has just been assigned to his case.
  • Dirty Bum
    A young actor, fresh from a stage production in which he appears nude, navigates a complicated intimate relationship over the phone during a cab ride that takes him from location to location. Emotions run high as he decides whether he should go home to be alone or to his lover's apartment for who knows what.
  • Words
    An aging writer, no longer able to properly use his hands, hires a young man to write his memoir for him. Problem being, as he dictates his story, the young man falls asleep. This however does not discourage him from sharing a memory from his youth where, while playing Stanley Kowalski in A Streetcar Named Desire, he attempted to exit the stage, but was stopped by what may have been an apparition with a cryptic message.