CJ Ehrlich

CJ Ehrlich

C.J. Ehrlich’s award-winning plays have been produced in many states, notably of undress and panic, around the US, and internationally on five continents. Full-lengths: THE CUPCAKE CONSPIRACY (comedy-farce, w/Philip J. Kaplan); sci-fi comedy ZANE TO GATE 69; award-winning noir comedy THE MALTESE BABKA. Published in many "Best of" anthologies. Three time Heideman Award finalist. She is a co-creator and...
C.J. Ehrlich’s award-winning plays have been produced in many states, notably of undress and panic, around the US, and internationally on five continents. Full-lengths: THE CUPCAKE CONSPIRACY (comedy-farce, w/Philip J. Kaplan); sci-fi comedy ZANE TO GATE 69; award-winning noir comedy THE MALTESE BABKA. Published in many "Best of" anthologies. Three time Heideman Award finalist. She is a co-creator and writer on the web series O-Town NY (www.OtownNY.com).

Collaborators include the Samuel French Off-Off-Broadway Fest (NYC), Boston Theatre Marathon (MA), Rover DramaWerks (TX), Little Fish (Los Angeles), Little Black Dress INK (national), Source/Cultural DC, Heartland (IL), Florentine Players (NE), high schools, community colleges and unis, OnStage Atlanta, Seoul Players (South Korea), Rising Sun (NYC), Grin Theatre (Liverpool UK), and many more.

Aside from wearing multiple theatre hats, C.J. is an editor, EMT and ambulance driver, leader of children's workshops, a screenwriter, a co-founder of Code Red Playwrights: #ENOUGH (playwrights for gun safety), and a proud member of the Dramatists Guild. She lists among her greatest achievements teaching her sons the fine art of the spit take.

Please visit at www.CJ-Ehrlich.com.

Plays

  • THE CUPCAKE CONSPIRACY: "Cupcakes are Easy. Marriage is Complicated" by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    6–12
    ·
    Genre: adventure, comedy + 4 more
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    Keyword: LORT, dating + 5 more
    Genre: adventure, comedy, dark comedy, farce, romantic comedy, satire
    Keyword: LORT, dating, baking, comedy terrorism, Farce, romantic comedy, empire state building
    "A farce with icing on top" - Sequim (WA) Gazette

    When newly-separated Max decides to put his toes in the dating waters behind his soon-to-be ex's back, he hooks up with the wrong blind date and finds himself up to his neck in a dastardly plot involving cupcakes. Really evil cupcakes. Meanwhile Max's missed date, Suzie, takes off with Alvin, a secret agent of so many...
    "A farce with icing on top" - Sequim (WA) Gazette

    When newly-separated Max decides to put his toes in the dating waters behind his soon-to-be ex's back, he hooks up with the wrong blind date and finds himself up to his neck in a dastardly plot involving cupcakes. Really evil cupcakes. Meanwhile Max's missed date, Suzie, takes off with Alvin, a secret agent of so many identities even he can't remember who he is. Max's "date" with the sultry Natasha could be the best night of his life, if he can just stay ahead of her evil schemes, convince her he's the dread-sexy mastermind Bob X, and more important, keep his wife, Suzie, from finding out.

    Co-written with Philip J. Kaplan
    https://newplayexchange.org/users/2493/philip-kaplan

    CRITICS SAY

    “Clever, fun, funny” - Nancy Churnin, Dallas Morning News

    “A farce, yes, about dangerous desserts. But it's also about how men and women, whether they're on a first date or married to each other, have trouble truly seeing the people they're with." - Peninsula Daily News

    * “WOW. If you don’t like to laugh, if you are offended by sharp wit... or if you have a problem with hilarity in general, you should not see this play.” - Chris Cortinas theatre blog, Plano TX

    * “A clever, scrumptious diversion” - National Examiner.com

    * "It's hard to resist the genius of playwriting duo C.J. Ehrlich and Phillip J. Kaplan's premise that one could devise a volatile, yet scrumptious cupcake, as twisted and mind-blowing as slipping LSD into a Yoohoo (thank you, Pauline Kael).... On one level you could say Cupcake Conspiracy is a study of how we are so imprisoned by personal worldview, we are blinded to what we desperately need to see. Another interpretation is : No matter how imbecilic our mistakes, some higher intelligence trumps human folly."
  • THE MALTESE BABKA, a noir comedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Cast: 
    10–20
    ·
    Genre: adventure, comedy + 4 more
    ·
    Keyword: noir 1940s, large cast + 5 more
    Genre: adventure, comedy, dark comedy, farce, mystery/thriller, parody/spoof
    Keyword: noir 1940s, large cast, Maltese Falcon Bogart homage Inheritance, black diamond ruby necklace, family friendly, subtle lgbtq, senior sex
    Join private investigator Jake Pantograph in a twisty maze of mysteries wrapped in danger, as he tries to track down a missing girl, a blackmailer, a one-of-a-kind black diamond necklace, a hot babka, and some ice for his drink.

    Austin Film Festival critic: "This classic noir narrative is by far one of the strongest deliveries of classic noir dialogue this reader has ever read. The banter...
    Join private investigator Jake Pantograph in a twisty maze of mysteries wrapped in danger, as he tries to track down a missing girl, a blackmailer, a one-of-a-kind black diamond necklace, a hot babka, and some ice for his drink.

    Austin Film Festival critic: "This classic noir narrative is by far one of the strongest deliveries of classic noir dialogue this reader has ever read. The banter is spot on, the storyline is entertaining and the characters are engaging and delightful."

    SYNOPSIS: When Rochelle Badinski hires Jake Pantograph to find her missing sister Mimi, his investigation leads him into a warren of danger and confusion. Is Portia "Bunny" Washbasin sabotaging her son's engagement, before he inherits his father's fortune? Who's blackmailing the billionaire? How many sides are there in a love triangle? Can Jake make it through this tangle of suspects, seductions, red herrings and off-kilter theories, to punish at least one bad guy?

    And... what is a babka, anyway?

    Tongue-in-cheek, lightly shaken with a twist of now, and a bounty of sight gags and silliness, there won't be any black-and-white answers in this comic homage to film noir. Large cast; easy set.
  • THIS TIME WE'LL MAKE IT WORK, an anti-romcom by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    6
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, political, romantic comedy, satire
    When does compromise take you across dangerous lines?

    Two mismatched singles, unlucky in love, decide to change their bad dating karma with a bold experiment - stay together, no matter what. "Let's date like we're Adam and Eve!" proposes evangelical Winnie. "I would like, at least, to have something to regret," agrees computer nerd Tom. Winnie is a sweet...
    When does compromise take you across dangerous lines?

    Two mismatched singles, unlucky in love, decide to change their bad dating karma with a bold experiment - stay together, no matter what. "Let's date like we're Adam and Eve!" proposes evangelical Winnie. "I would like, at least, to have something to regret," agrees computer nerd Tom. Winnie is a sweet Fundamentalist in a strange cult. Tom is a Liberal who respects any view, to the point of paralysis.
    Little by little Winnie will pull Tom deeper into her Mission, leading him to a dark, frozen dawn on a grassy knoll overlooking an abortion clinic. What's not to work?
    []

    Stumbling through a year's worth of holidays, this idealistic couple does their damnedest to defy the odds and shape love out of a lump of chaos, in spite of darkening moral conflicts, and a host of significant others, all warning that the relationship is doomed from the start. Tom's co-worker prods him to get the goodies and run. A waitress offers a no-strings alternative. Tom's mother, surrounded by toaster ovens from her 11th wedding, urges Tom to beware of religious nut jobs. And Winnie's seductive young pastor keeps inviting her to drink the delicious red stuff at the Church of the Ultimate Light. []


    Winnie: It's not a cult, Tom!
    Tom: Would they tell you if it was? []

    The play's goal is to balance comedy, provocation, and satire, to create a living, breathing couple on opposite ends of the political spectrum, and to make them both so sympathetic that the audience is genuinely conflicted about who to side with. As an audience member said, "I guess there's a bit of Winnie and Tom in all of us." But can this ever work?
  • ZANE TO GATE 69, a time-travel comedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: adventure, comedy + 5 more
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    Keyword: time machine, spies + 3 more
    Genre: adventure, comedy, dark comedy, farce, parody/spoof, period, science fiction
    Keyword: time machine, spies, 1970s, metoo, feminism
    Agent Kate Welles is sent back from her dystopian future to the 1970s, to brief a bumbling, sexist spy on what could be his -- and humanity's -- last mission. But will she be in time?

    Synopsis: Time traveler Kate Welles has been sent back to 1972 by a shadowy brain trust, to brief Agent Zane Archibald, the one spy who can avert the dystopian future she's just escaped. But each time...
    Agent Kate Welles is sent back from her dystopian future to the 1970s, to brief a bumbling, sexist spy on what could be his -- and humanity's -- last mission. But will she be in time?

    Synopsis: Time traveler Kate Welles has been sent back to 1972 by a shadowy brain trust, to brief Agent Zane Archibald, the one spy who can avert the dystopian future she's just escaped. But each time Zane improvises his way through the mission, the future gets grimmer than ever. (And can they train this guy to learn the meaning of #metoo?) Kate's going to need a bigger way to save the world!

    "Daffy fun"... "Delightfully ridiculous"... "Don't miss it!"
    -- Deborah Martin, mysanantonio.com

    "You don't see [this] on the circuit very often -- a well written sci fi piece."
    -- John Jennings, Pop Culture Theatre, Melbourne Australia.
  • THE LILAC TICKET, a romantic dramedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    2–3
    ·
    Genre: comedy, drama + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: love and marriage, extramarital jealousy + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, drama, romantic comedy
    Keyword: love and marriage, extramarital jealousy, Catskills Grossingers, aging, Jewish, senior sex
    At the medical group, Sam and Barb confront two secrets that threaten their 50-year marriage: one happening now, in the waiting room, and the other, a long-buried secret.

    The Lilac Ticket has delighted audiences (and "mature" actors) around the world. It is a Heideman Award finalist, published in The Best American Short Plays of 2014-15.
  • 2 + 1 = MURDER, a 10m noir comedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 9
    ·
    Cast: 
    4–5
    ·
    Genre: adventure, comedy + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: puns, math + 3 more
    Genre: adventure, comedy, mystery/thriller, parody/spoof, period
    Keyword: puns, math, 1940s style, ensemble, noir
    Blaze Pascal has to solve this case - by the numbers!

    50% murder mystery, 50% tribute to Math 101, and 10% groaner puns, 2+1 = MURDER has all the usual noir suspects: the jaded cop ready to retire; the eager rookie; the femme fatale, and Blaze Pascal, private eye.

    Our story is set in a dark alley -- no set required. Popular with community theatres, universities, high schools, clever actors, and math mavens.
  • ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND SCIENCE, a 10m comedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 5
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, parody/spoof
    ·
    Keyword: helicopter parents, elementary school + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, parody/spoof
    Keyword: helicopter parents, elementary school, family, fish, hamsters, school science fair
    Two dads discover it's a high-stakes game, the elementary school science fair.
  • BLACK HOLE ENTERPRISES, a 10m dark comedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 1
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    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 1 more
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    Keyword: Facebook, social media + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, satire
    Keyword: Facebook, social media, metoo, corporate culture, comic surrealism
    How can you stay cheerful when your job is to spread misery on social media?

    Oh, the perils of the interwebs, and a really confusing work environment.
  • NOIR IN SECOND CLASS, a short, mysterious comedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Cast: 
    2–3
    ·
    Genre: comedy, mystery/thriller + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: noir, orient express + 6 more
    Genre: comedy, mystery/thriller, romantic comedy
    Keyword: noir, orient express, casablanca, marriage, career woman, midwest satire, Sex, Surreal
    Sometimes this couple think they're in two different movies.
  • CO-WORKERS, or Holy Bomb, Batman! by CJ Ehrlich
    Cast: 
    2–4
    ·
    Genre: adventure, comedy + 4 more
    ·
    Keyword: superhero, Job Interview + 1 more
    Genre: adventure, comedy, dark comedy, farce, melodrama, parody/spoof
    Keyword: superhero, Job Interview, geek culture
    A job interviewee is losing ground as she and her prospective boss, Batman, dangle over certain death. Is it the gaps in her resume? Or just... her? Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment.
  • STANDING ROOM ONLY by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    3–6
    ·
    Genre: comedy, romantic comedy
    ·
    Keyword: inspirational, dialect + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, romantic comedy
    Keyword: inspirational, dialect, ferry, Staten Island, divorce
    After glimpsing what love could be, Charlene's having the worst day of her life, and refuses to make room for another commuter. Until he pushes his way past her comfort zone.

    An upbeat but heartfelt story of an older woman who learns some new tricks from a versatile young actor.
  • IT SKIPS A GENERATION by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, docudrama/historic + 1 more
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    Keyword: family heritage, melting pot + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, docudrama/historic, drama
    Keyword: family heritage, melting pot, vaudeville, 1980s, Jewish orthodox vs. secular
    At a secret meeting, Chaya and her estranged grandfather start to reconnect as family, over an album of yellowed newspaper clippings.
  • NON-REFUNDABLE, a 10-min LGBT comedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Cast: 
    3
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce + 2 more
    ·
    Keyword: LGBTQ, travel + 2 more
    Genre: comedy, farce, political, romantic comedy
    Keyword: LGBTQ, travel, Lesbian, Valentine's Day
    Two lesbian teachers from Bible Belt Kentucky, tired of pretending to be “just friends who work together," run off for what promises to be a romantic bargain tour of the former Soviet Block. But when a foreign power invades their hotel room, they learn a lesson about hiding away. [Published, Best Ten Minute Plays of 2017, Heideman Award finalist.]
  • ROOM CIRCUS, an LGBT comedy-farce by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    3
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: screwball, LGBTQ + 8 more
    Genre: comedy, farce, romantic comedy
    Keyword: screwball, LGBTQ, The Lady Eve, adult, Lesbian, bedroom farce, Las Vegas hotel room, love romp, fast-paced, Sex
    Jake's about to ditch Margot in the bridal suite, when Margot's ex, Sienna, shows up a special order of room service.

    Fasten your seat belts -- it's going to be a bumpy honeymoon.

    A 1930s screwball comedy in miniature with an LGBT twist, ROOM CIRCUS is a fast-paced romp, with love served on a silver platter and Ralph Bellamy wielding a cell phone. Partial nudity is welcome.
  • SHREW MAN vs. SHREWMAN, a superhero comedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: adventure, comedy + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: superhero, comic books + 7 more
    Genre: adventure, comedy, fantasy, farce, romantic comedy
    Keyword: superhero, comic books, 1940s, 1960s, shenanigans, family friendly, stage combat, animals, mistaken identity
    -“Borders on the insane” - Terry Shea, Motif Magazine, Providence RI
    The last, the rarest, the ONLY banned "Shrewman" comic has finally resurfaced. Now everyone wants to get their claws on it!

    This play has everything: geeks, sneaks, shrews, news, Teamsters, armed robbery, a flying pool table, Governor Dewey on the wireless, wanna-be superheroes and the other kind (real). Also...
    -“Borders on the insane” - Terry Shea, Motif Magazine, Providence RI
    The last, the rarest, the ONLY banned "Shrewman" comic has finally resurfaced. Now everyone wants to get their claws on it!

    This play has everything: geeks, sneaks, shrews, news, Teamsters, armed robbery, a flying pool table, Governor Dewey on the wireless, wanna-be superheroes and the other kind (real). Also a lot of musk. Because musk happens.

    -Samuel French OOB Festival, 2014
  • THE RED AND GREEN ROOM: No Exit, meet the Mario Bros. by CJ Ehrlich
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: adventure, comedy + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: geek culture, Mario Brothers + 4 more
    Genre: adventure, comedy, dark comedy, fantasy, farce
    Keyword: geek culture, Mario Brothers, video games, backstage, dead-end jobs, No Exit
    Three actors trapped in the Green Room chafe and fume and simmer on the edge of madness, while the star hogs all the stage time. No Exit, meet the Mario Brothers.
  • WAITING FOR HUGOT by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 1 more
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    Keyword: Marceline Hugot Kevin Bacon Alec Baldwin, name dropping + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, farce
    Keyword: Marceline Hugot Kevin Bacon Alec Baldwin, name dropping, small-town life, Pie, silly, frustrated writer
    A frustrated screenwriter ineptly stalks a minor celebrity, trying to get his ticket out of nowhere. But fate, and his wife, have other travel plans.
  • TUESDAYS IN THE PARK WITH RIVER APPLE, an all-female comedy about trying to do it all, with kids by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    5
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: feminism, city life + 5 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, farce, parody/spoof, satire
    Keyword: feminism, city life, new beginnings, funny, adult situations, trying to have it all with kids, adoption
    Abby’s new to the city and to full-time motherhood. Who knew joining a playgroup could be so hard? Play nice, ladies!
    Five vibrant, multi-ethnic female roles.


    Winner, Fringe of Marin 2014: Best Play, Best Actor, Best Ensemble awards.
  • HOMESPUN WEBS: Imagining Louise Bourgeois, a one-act by CJ Ehrlich
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 2 more
    ·
    Keyword: women, divorce + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, drama, fantasy
    Keyword: women, divorce, Art and Artists, spiders, new beginnings, historical women
    Newly-divorced Madeline's getting shakier by the minute as she drinks her way through her first night in her shabby, noisy apartment. Help arrives in the spectral form of renowned “giant spider” artist Louise Bourgeois.
  • MIT A FIDDLE IN THE MIDDLE by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    5–10
    ·
    Genre: biography, comedy + 3 more
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    Keyword: Yiddish theatre & Yiddish film, Molly Picon Jacob Kalich Simcha Fostel + 4 more
    Genre: biography, comedy, docudrama/historic, drama, period
    Keyword: Yiddish theatre & Yiddish film, Molly Picon Jacob Kalich Simcha Fostel, Jewish, Immigrants, vaudeville, Poland history shtetl
    TIME: Summer, 1936.
    SETTING: On a grassy dirt road outside the little market town of Kaziemerz, Poland, a crew sets up to start filming a new comedy, Yidl mitn Fidl. The extras are confused, the actress' manager’s demanding, the weather's threatening, and the director's tearing his hair out. He’s counting on his star, Molly Picon, that 4'11" dynamo of energy, talent and cheer,...
    TIME: Summer, 1936.
    SETTING: On a grassy dirt road outside the little market town of Kaziemerz, Poland, a crew sets up to start filming a new comedy, Yidl mitn Fidl. The extras are confused, the actress' manager’s demanding, the weather's threatening, and the director's tearing his hair out. He’s counting on his star, Molly Picon, that 4'11" dynamo of energy, talent and cheer, the "queen of Yiddish theatre" to pull it together. "Yiddle with his Fiddle" -- a classic cross-dressing, mistaken gender, romantic, on-the-road comedy, with songs -- will become the most successful Yiddish film in history. Nobody in Kaziemerz will ever see it.
  • FLASH DATES by CJ Ehrlich
    Cast: 
    5–10
    ·
    Genre: comedy, experimental
    ·
    Keyword: short attention span, Twitter + 2 more
    Genre: comedy, experimental
    Keyword: short attention span, Twitter, the crew is part of the show, good things in small packages
    Carly's in a hurry: who has time for speed dating, with thousands of potential partners out there to meet and reject? Are why are so many of them in the theatre lobby? Thanks, Flash Dates!

    FLASH DATE is a fast, fun, ten-minute play that breaks the fourth wall, and even gets the stage crew involved.
  • WHOM DEATH DOTH SEEE-K, a comedy about sex, death, and shoes by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: Sex, devil + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, fantasy
    Keyword: Sex, devil, consumerism, shoes, shopping, Grand Guignol
    Sexy model Yulia’s lusting for pricey pumps. Stef dares her to charm the sales clerk into a quickie discount. Shoe-gasm anyone? Then a mysterious stranger appears, knowing way too much about Yulia’s shopping history.

    This dark comedy about shopping, sin, and debauchery will have you quaking in your stilettos and cleaning out your closets!
  • WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS AT ALL, a holiday comedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: comedy, faith-based + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: winter holidays, christmas + 5 more
    Genre: comedy, faith-based, holiday
    Keyword: winter holidays, christmas, Chankuah, religion, Jewish, couples, wedding
    Two couples, thrown together by their children's quickie wedding, soft-pedal their conflicting holiday traditions.
  • SNOW DOWN AT THE NORTH POLE, a holiday comedy by CJ Ehrlich
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    6–10
    ·
    Genre: comedy, fantasy + 2 more
    ·
    Keyword: holiday, Jewish + 2 more
    Genre: comedy, fantasy, holiday, young audiences
    Keyword: holiday, Jewish, elves, Xmas
    It's the Christmas crunch at Santa's workshop. An efficiency expert hovers, a blizzard may shut the whole thing down, Lefty the Elf is talking strike, and we're running low on Chanukah socks. If only we could count on an old-fashioned Christmas miracle! Caroling optional.