NASTY BITS

by Olga Humphrey

Inspired by the true story of New York's first colonial governor, who was appointed by England's Queen Anne. This play uses the facts as a starting point for a comic romp through politics, finding startling parallels between our leaders of yesterday and today.

"Nasty Bits" is a political satire set in early 1700s America, but it's really about today. It's about the death of political idealism and how...

Inspired by the true story of New York's first colonial governor, who was appointed by England's Queen Anne. This play uses the facts as a starting point for a comic romp through politics, finding startling parallels between our leaders of yesterday and today.

"Nasty Bits" is a political satire set in early 1700s America, but it's really about today. It's about the death of political idealism and how American politics hasn't changed at all. It follows the raucous, outrageous, and scandalous journey of New York's colonial governor, as seen through the eyes of his young aide, who is the protagonist.

Arrogant and imbecilic, EDWARD HYDE, LORD CORNBURY, the first governor of New York and New Jersey, appointed by his ever-pregnant cousin QUEEN ANNE, runs both thriving colonies to the ground during his tenure, engaging in blackmail, extortion, embezzlement, abuse, and just about every crime you can think of.

Cornbury's aide, THOMAS DARSDALE, is a young man with a youthful passion for politics and an idealism that is rare. His wife, MARY, who paints as a hobby, shares his exuberance. But the couple has recently become aware that Lord Cornbury has taken to wearing his wife's clothing as he goes for walks in the middle of the night. He is even mistaken for a prostitute and arrested.

Thomas eventually learns that Lord Cornbury is honoring Queen Anne by dressing in women’s clothing. He wants her strong spirit to be present in the colonies as well. The governor plans an invasion of Rhode Island because he simply doesn’t like them, and, more important probably, because Queen favors them over New York and New Jersey.

A journalist from England (GERALD SPRINGERTON) has arrived to do a profile of the governor, not knowing about the invasion. Thomas and Mary struggle to keep him from finding out about the governor's secret, but the journalist meets Cornbury in drag, and, mistaking him for LADY CORNBURY, Cornbury’s emotionally fragile wife, falls madly in love with him.

The invasion begins, as the governor has Mary arrested for being a lewd artist after he sees a portrait she has painted of him in a dress. He also has himself arrested for being a lewd model. New York is devastated and left a shell of the great colony it once was, thanks to Cornbury, who is recalled to England by his irate cousin, Queen Anne.

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NASTY BITS

Recommended by

  • Cheryl Bear: NASTY BITS

    A phenomenal political story that is mind blowing and so insanely funny! The fact that it's based in reality makes it all the more perfect and the audience will have a ball! Brava.

    A phenomenal political story that is mind blowing and so insanely funny! The fact that it's based in reality makes it all the more perfect and the audience will have a ball! Brava.

  • Unicorn Theatre: NASTY BITS

    This play was a SEMIFINALIST for the 2017-2018 In-Progress New Play Reading Series at Unicorn Theatre in Kansas City, Missouri. It is our pleasure to support NASTY BITS.

    This play was a SEMIFINALIST for the 2017-2018 In-Progress New Play Reading Series at Unicorn Theatre in Kansas City, Missouri. It is our pleasure to support NASTY BITS.

Development History

  • Type Workshop, Organization Mini-workshop at New Georges; reading by Lynx Theater Ensemble, New York, both directed by Wendy McClellan., Year 2014