A THING OF BEAUTY

by D.W. Gregory

Oscar Wilde meets the Marx Brothers is this award-winning screwball comedy about art, love, and censorship in 1950s New England.

What is the purpose of art? Is it to elevate our miserable little lives or shatter our stupid assumptions? Maybe both, as the leading citizens of a sleepy seaside resort discover when first prize in their community art competition goes to an anonymous nude. While the judges...

Oscar Wilde meets the Marx Brothers is this award-winning screwball comedy about art, love, and censorship in 1950s New England.

What is the purpose of art? Is it to elevate our miserable little lives or shatter our stupid assumptions? Maybe both, as the leading citizens of a sleepy seaside resort discover when first prize in their community art competition goes to an anonymous nude. While the judges congratulate themselves on their progressive tastes, the competition's wealthy sponsor, Mrs. Leonard C. Bouffant, is horrified. But horror turns to outrage when she discovers the unnamed artist is the mailman who keeps losing her deliveries. As she lobbies the judges for a "more appropriate" winner--"something involving daisies or an old barn" --- an influential New York art critic arrives on the scene, hell-bent on championing the work of this formerly unknown "artist of the people."

Winner of the SETC's Charles Getchell New Play Award. Finalist for B Street Theater's Comedies Fest 2020 (alas, canceled due to Covid) and WordsCubed at Utah Shakespeare Festival 2025. Developed at The Barter Theater.

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A THING OF BEAUTY

Recommended by

  • Donald Loftus: A THING OF BEAUTY by D.W. Gregory
    “

    A sparkling and incisive comedy, A Thing of Beauty delivers sharp satire on art, class, and censorship with dazzling wit. D.W. Gregory’s dialogue crackles with precision, blending farce and social critique as egos collide over taste and morality. The characters are vividly drawn and delightfully absurd, driving a fast-paced, cleverly constructed plot that is both hilarious and pointed. A thoroughly entertaining and smart theatrical romp.

    A sparkling and incisive comedy, A Thing of Beauty delivers sharp satire on art, class, and censorship with dazzling wit. D.W. Gregory’s dialogue crackles with precision, blending farce and social critique as egos collide over taste and morality. The characters are vividly drawn and delightfully absurd, driving a fast-paced, cleverly constructed plot that is both hilarious and pointed. A thoroughly entertaining and smart theatrical romp.

    ”
  • Paul Donnelly: A THING OF BEAUTY by D.W. Gregory
    “

    A delicious farce poking pointed fun at art world pretensions! The comedy arises beautifully from a mix of character and situation. It would be a real treat to see this piece on its feet.

    A delicious farce poking pointed fun at art world pretensions! The comedy arises beautifully from a mix of character and situation. It would be a real treat to see this piece on its feet.

    ”
  • Lainie Vansant: A THING OF BEAUTY by D.W. Gregory
    “

    This goofy romp is a great example of 21st century farce (a surprisingly difficult thing to pull off) with parts for actors of all ages. It's a hoot and a half -- check it out!

    This goofy romp is a great example of 21st century farce (a surprisingly difficult thing to pull off) with parts for actors of all ages. It's a hoot and a half -- check it out!

    ”
View all 5 recommendations

Character Information

CASTING:

For 2M, 3-4F. The play is intended to be performed by a cast of five actors, with the same actress doubling as
Mrs. Twinkle and Mayfield Fortnite. However, the roles could be cast separately.


  • MRS. BOUFFANT
    A woman of means and exquisite taste, if not in art, then certainly in furniture. Somewhere between 45 and 60.

    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      40s,
      50s,
      60s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman
  • MRS. TWINKLE
    Mrs. Bouffant's neighbor and toady, of indeterminate age, less worldly but more agreeable.
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      40s,
      50s,
      60s,
      70s+
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman
  • IMELDA MARRS
    Mrs. Bouffant’s secretary, 30-something, ambitious and anxious, in love with Mr. Buckle.
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s,
      30s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman
  • GEORGE BUCKLE
    A mailman and amateur painter, in love with Imelda. Early 30s or so.
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      30s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Man
  • CAPTAIN BILGEWATER
    Friend to Mrs. Bouffant; an admirer of fine art and fine women. Anywhere from 45 to 65.
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      40s,
      50s,
      60s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Man
  • MAYFIELD FORTNITE
    A modern realist painter and art critic. Revels in her gender ambiguity. Anywhere from 45 to 60.
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      40s,
      50s,
      60s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman,
      Non-binary

Development History

  • Reading, CreateTheater New Works Festival, 2025
  • Workshop, Appalachian Festival of New Plays, Barter Theatre , 2023
  • Reading, Southeastern Theatre Conference, 2023
  • Reading, Washington Stage Guild, 2020

Awards

  • Utah Shakespeare Festival WordsCubed
    Utah Shakespeare Festival
    Finalist
    2025
  • Festival of New Appalachian Plays and Playwrights
    Barter Theater
    Selection
    2023
  • TRU Voices New Plays Series
    Theatre Resources Unlimited (TRU)
    Finalist
    2024
  • Bay Street Theater New Works Festival
    Bay Street Theater
    Semi-Finalist
    2024
  • Market House Theatre New Play Competition
    Market House Theatre
    Runner Up
    2023
  • Charles Getchell New Play Award
    Southeastern Theatre Conference
    Winner
    2023
  • Winner (West Virginia) Red Barn Reading Series
    Theatre on the Lake
    Selection
    2020
  • B Street Theatre New Comedies Festival
    B Street Theatre
    Finalist
    2020