Music: Mark Shapiro; Book & Lyrics: Andrea Shapiro and Mark Shapiro
DIONYSUS, god of wine, is throwing a party at Nashville’s Parthenon, replica of the ancient Greek temple in Athens (“PARTY AT THE PARTHENON”). In attendance are ZEUS, king of gods, HERA, his wife and goddess of marriage; ATHENA, goddess of wisdom; APOLLO, god of truth; APHRODITE, goddess of love; half-goat-half-man PAN, god of wild things; and half-horse-half-human centaurs ALPHA and OMEGA as the Greek chorus. Not invited is ERIS, goddess of discord. Miffed, she leaves a present gift-wrapped as an apple. Alpha and Omega recount that once before Eris gifted an apple-of-discord resulting in the Trojan War (“PATTER”). This time, Eris’ offering is a sculptured Nashville GOO GOO candy with the inscription “for the sweetest.” The goddesses each insist it belongs to one of them (“GOO GOO SWEET”). When the gods learn they must choose, they accuse Eris of treachery (“BEWARE OF GREEKS”) and flee.

Apollo and Dionysus shame Zeus into making the choice. However, his resolve is shaken when sexy Aphrodite approaches (“DITIE’S DITTY”) and Hera catches them (“NO SECOND FIDDLE”). After Zeus disqualifies himself in favor of Apollo, Eris instructs Pan to play the goddesses against each other. He’s conflicted but belongs to her (“’NO SECOND FIDDLE’ REPRISE”).

The scene shifts to Apollo and Athena (“IMMORTAL DUET”). Because of their mutual attraction, Hera and Aphrodite demand Apollo likewise recuse himself. Noting that laughter’s the sweetest brew he knows, Dionysus proposes whomever tells the funniest joke be awarded the prize (“KNOCK! KNOCK!”). Unable to choose, he’s about to close his eyes and pick the winner when Eris summons Pan. If a choice is made, that goddess’ aspect will rule the mortal world, not hers. Intervene and she’ll grant his freedom. Pan then proposes a rule change. The three gods must reach a unanimous verdict. In “’BEWARE, MINE IS THE SWEETEST’ REPRISE”, the immortals bemoan their fate as Eris and Pan shake hands.

Two weeks later, Alpha, Omega and Pan set the scene with “OH, WHAT FOOLS IMMORTALS BE”. The gods have reached a verdict: “DON’T ASK US!” If they can’t decide, who can? Pan points out the one sacred institution whose integrity is above reproach: the Country Music Association and its annual CMA awards. A special Parthenon category has been added; the immortals could enter the competition. The goddesses sing “WHAT COUNTRY MEANS” and Alpha and Omega comment with “’OH, WHAT FOOLS’ REPRISE”. Meanwhile, outsiders Eris and Pan croon “THE LONELY PLACES”.

It’s CMA Awards’ Night (“AND THE WINNER IS …”). In a surprise upset, Eris is victorious. She encourages the others to wreak vengeance on the mortal world. When they refuse, Eris pleads for inclusion (“HALF PAST NEVER”). Zeus explains he can change Eris’ aspect but the others must change as well. They agree (“HARMONY”).

Alpha and Omega insist that Pan is not alone, he belongs to their club (“BROTHERHOOD OF THE HOOVES”). In the final scene, all prepare to celebrate (“’PARTY AT THE PARTHENON’ REPRISE”) Curtain.