Holy Water

by CK Brestman

(SHORT. 7 pgs)

Water, water everywhere. At work, at school, at the gym, in the car. Water bottles are everywhere. People have become obsessed with constant hydration and fear being without their emotional support bottle.

Holy Water is a satirical examination on the prevalence of water bottles, the misconceptions behind the need for constant hydration, willful ignorance, confirmation bias and the acceptance of...

(SHORT. 7 pgs)

Water, water everywhere. At work, at school, at the gym, in the car. Water bottles are everywhere. People have become obsessed with constant hydration and fear being without their emotional support bottle.

Holy Water is a satirical examination on the prevalence of water bottles, the misconceptions behind the need for constant hydration, willful ignorance, confirmation bias and the acceptance of misinformation, and blind faith. Drink up.

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Holy Water

Recommended by

  • Matthew Garlin: Holy Water by CK Brestman
    “

    As someone who has just recently changed lifestyles from eating anything to more zepbound focused and drinking way more water than I ever did, this place is a revelation and hilarious!!!!

    As someone who has just recently changed lifestyles from eating anything to more zepbound focused and drinking way more water than I ever did, this place is a revelation and hilarious!!!!

    ”
  • Brent Alles: Holy Water by CK Brestman
    “

    This play is all wet. Now that I've got that out of my system (much like toxins that are flushed out when you hydrate), let me praise the humor to the point of lunacy found in Brestman's short. There's certainly a good, important message hidden within the flood of information, but there's also good fun in the messengers who deliver it. This would make a very funny and fluid addition to any ten-minute festival that would have it. Just maybe, uh, put it next to the intermission/bathroom break.

    This play is all wet. Now that I've got that out of my system (much like toxins that are flushed out when you hydrate), let me praise the humor to the point of lunacy found in Brestman's short. There's certainly a good, important message hidden within the flood of information, but there's also good fun in the messengers who deliver it. This would make a very funny and fluid addition to any ten-minute festival that would have it. Just maybe, uh, put it next to the intermission/bathroom break.

    ”

Character Information

  • Sprinkle
    A follower of health and lifestyle trends, carrying a common (perhaps slightly larger than most) insulated bottle. (Any, 18-65)
    18-65
  • Shower
    Fitness buff with a dialed-in hydration routine. Top athlete, dude-bro, gym rat. Carries a gallon jug of water at all times. (Any, 18-30)
    18-30
  • Deluge
    An outdoor adventure enthusiast (ultra-marathoner, long-distance cyclist, trekker) wearing multiple Hydration packs and their network of hoses providing constant hydration. (Any, 20-50)
    20-50
  • Flood
    A full-on disciple of the Cult of Hydration. Someone who has “drank the Kool-Aid.” Totes a 5 Gallon (or larger) Hydration Cooler (Any, 40-65)
    40-65

Production History

  • Professional, Apollinaire Theatre, Boston Theatre Marathon XXVII, Boston Playwrights Theatre, Boston MA, 2025