Jan Kultura, Substitute Teacher, Meets The Crowd

by Ian Thal

Mister Kultura is filling in for the regular social studies teacher. The students refuse to provide their real names, identifying themselves only by such monikers as "King of My Pants" and "Unique Superstar" while a previously scheduled guest speaker named Jackie gives a presentation on the awesomeness of the crowdsourced economy.

[This version, uploaded December 4, 2018, was revised for sake of greater...

Mister Kultura is filling in for the regular social studies teacher. The students refuse to provide their real names, identifying themselves only by such monikers as "King of My Pants" and "Unique Superstar" while a previously scheduled guest speaker named Jackie gives a presentation on the awesomeness of the crowdsourced economy.

[This version, uploaded December 4, 2018, was revised for sake of greater continuity with its sequel, "Jan Kultura, Substitute Teacher, and the Matriarchy of the Ants.]

"[...]two plays that specifically spoke to economic theory, in the same way that Copenhagen speaks to physics or The Hard Problem speaks to brain science. [...]Clearing Bombs by Eric Samuelson imagines a conversation between two major 20th century economists stuck on a rooftop during WWII and passing the time with a deep but lively economic debate. Jan Kultura, Substitute Teacher, Meets the Crowd by Ian Thal is a short play that essentially presents a case study of crowd sourced creativity as a vehicle to steal ideas from people without having to pay them – well larded with good economic thinking. These stood out to me as good examples of scripts we could stand to have more of."

Pete Miller, "Why We Need Plays About Capitalism" in 2am Theatre
http://www.2amtheatre.com/2017/02/03/why-we-need-plays-about-capitalism/

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Jan Kultura, Substitute Teacher, Meets The Crowd

Recommended by

  • Donna Latham: Jan Kultura, Substitute Teacher, Meets The Crowd by Ian Thal
    “

    An absurdist, existential, and unapologetic indictment of late-stage capitalism. I laughed aloud at the quirky characters and sharp wit. The language is delicious, and I'd love to watch actor sink their teeth into these meaty roles. Bravo, Ian!

    An absurdist, existential, and unapologetic indictment of late-stage capitalism. I laughed aloud at the quirky characters and sharp wit. The language is delicious, and I'd love to watch actor sink their teeth into these meaty roles. Bravo, Ian!

    ”
  • Dan West: Jan Kultura, Substitute Teacher, Meets The Crowd by Ian Thal
    “

    When off-beat substitute teacher Mr. Kultura first steps in front of today’s assigned charges, it seems like we are being setup for a blood in the water moment with the classroom eating him alive. But instead what we get is Thal and Kultura turning the tables on all of us for a hilarious indictment of corporate crowdsourcing as a component of late stage capitalism. If all lessons on economics were this engaging, we might all have a better understanding of why things are the way they are in the world we live in.

    When off-beat substitute teacher Mr. Kultura first steps in front of today’s assigned charges, it seems like we are being setup for a blood in the water moment with the classroom eating him alive. But instead what we get is Thal and Kultura turning the tables on all of us for a hilarious indictment of corporate crowdsourcing as a component of late stage capitalism. If all lessons on economics were this engaging, we might all have a better understanding of why things are the way they are in the world we live in.

    ”
  • Nora Louise Syran: Jan Kultura, Substitute Teacher, Meets The Crowd by Ian Thal
    “

    Ian Thal is a thinker. He's also very funny. So when he brings in Mister Kultura --"I like this guy"-- and passes around a do-it-yourself- attendance sheet, I knew immediately I was in for a ride and you will be too. And, most importantly, you'll be "happy, because subjects of King of His Pants are patriots who just want to have fun"! Right?!🤣

    Ian Thal is a thinker. He's also very funny. So when he brings in Mister Kultura --"I like this guy"-- and passes around a do-it-yourself- attendance sheet, I knew immediately I was in for a ride and you will be too. And, most importantly, you'll be "happy, because subjects of King of His Pants are patriots who just want to have fun"! Right?!🤣

    ”
View all 16 recommendations

Character Information

Jan Kultura: A substitute teacher. Possibly an inscrutable foreigner.
Jackie: A marketing executive doing pro bono work.
King Of My Pants: Not his real name. A high school student.
Unique Superstar: Not her real name. A high school student.
  • Jan Kultura
    Old enough to be perceived as an adult by teenagers, but not to be taken seriously by the staff. He is an unselfconsciously bohemian immigrant, now a citizen. His clothing and demeanor indicate that he has either never quite learned to conform to the customs of his new country or that he never fully wanted to. He barely conforms to the dress code of the teaching profession. His speech and movements are affected, for while he is aware that despite his erudition, he knows that he makes mistakes, and is concerned that the slightest mistake will scandalize others, to deliberately scandalize is not beyond him. Nonetheless, he has never mastered the use of either the definite or indefinite articles of speech.
    Male
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s,
      30s,
      40s,
      50s,
      60s,
      70s+
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Man
  • Jackie
    Jackie is an advertising executive visiting the school as part of her firm's pro bono work. She dresses in a manner that teenagers will appreciate as stylish and sophisticated.
    20s - 30s
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s,
      30s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman
  • King Of My Pants
    Not his real name. A high school student.
    Teenager
    Male
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      Teens,
      20s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Man
  • Unique Superstar
    Not her real name. A high school student.
    Teenager
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      Teens,
      20s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman

Development History

  • Reading, Tiger's Heart Players, 2025
  • Reading, UptownWorks NYC, 2015

Production History

  • Fringe, Silver Spring Stage, Silver Spring MD, 2016

Awards

  • http://www.2amtheatre.com/2017/02/03/why-we-need-plays-about-capitalism/