Equity (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Student Loans) by Chris Barlow

Picture if you will: A not-too-distant future where artists delinquent on their student loans are paid a visit by the mysterious Man from the Bank, a hard-working functionary who repossesses whatever equity he can (surgically, if necessary). Then picture the listless housewife who "hires" one of these failed artists as her pool boy (slash boy toy). Sure it sounds torrid, but Whoopi and Joy on The View...
Picture if you will: A not-too-distant future where artists delinquent on their student loans are paid a visit by the mysterious Man from the Bank, a hard-working functionary who repossesses whatever equity he can (surgically, if necessary). Then picture the listless housewife who "hires" one of these failed artists as her pool boy (slash boy toy). Sure it sounds torrid, but Whoopi and Joy on The View say it’s all the rage! And besides, all Corinne has to do is sign on the dotted line...

It's a brave new world where anything is possible, but only if your credit rating says so. Scrawny young Sam's years of studying in the fine arts of cartooning and illustration have been lobotomized right out of his head, but his arrival turns perpetually-bored Corinne's lust for, well, *lust* into a lust for a new life when she tries to restore his artistic ambition by borrowing some talent from the bank. What could possibly go wrong in a world where nothing goes right unless you're willing to pay the price?
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Equity (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Student Loans)

Recommended by

  • Larry Rinkel:
    10 Apr. 2020
    “ What a delightful, fresh, and original play. Chris Barlow is evidently a recent MFA, but please don't hold that against him. "Equity" moves along with consummate grace and mastery, with three generous roles (The Man From the Bank especially), and a deftly plotted story line that by the end feels both unexpected and inevitable. Pay particular attention to the Dramatis Personae and how their names should be displayed in the program, as that's an essential element of the comedy. And please produce this gem of a play before pool boy Sam paints his next painting!
    ”
  • Playwrights Foundation:
    6 Apr. 2020
    “ Playwrights Foundation enthusiastically recommends this play EQUITY (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Student Loans), as a Semi-Finalist for the Bay Area Playwrights Festival 2020. We were moved by the quality of the writing and the relevant and compelling themes that spoke to the mission of our festival. It excelled in a competitive process of 735 plays submitted this year and rose to the top after a six month long process discussing its merits with both national and local Bay Area readers, and we hope it moves swiftly towards production. ”

Character Information

3 Speaking Roles (2M/1F) and 1-2 Non-Speaking Roles (any gender).

  • Sam Bennett
    20s-30s,
    Any
    ,
    Male
    A failed cartoonist. Has an MFA.
    Can be played by:
    • Age: 
      20s, 30s, 40s
    • Race/Ethnicity: 
      Any race/ethnicity
    • Gender: 
      Male
  • Croinee Halverson
    30s-60s,
    Any
    ,
    Female
    A lonely housewife. Has a pool.
    Can be played by:
    • Age: 
      Any adult age
    • Race/Ethnicity: 
      Any race/ethnicity
    • Gender: 
      Female
  • The Man From the Bank
    Adult,
    Any
    ,
    Male
    A rational man. Has a good job.
    Can be played by:
    • Age: 
      Any adult age
    • Race/Ethnicity: 
      Any race/ethnicity
    • Gender: 
      Male
  • The Orderlies (1-2)
    Any,
    Any
    ,
    Any
    1-2 orderlies. Can be double cast with the Gardener and the Bank Teller.
    Can be played by:
    • Age: 
      Any age
    • Race/Ethnicity: 
      Any race/ethnicity
    • Gender: 
      Any gender
  • The Gardener
    Any,
    Any
    ,
    Any
    Can be double cast with the Bank Teller and the Orderlies.
    Can be played by:
    • Age: 
      Any age
    • Race/Ethnicity: 
      Any race/ethnicity
    • Gender: 
      Any gender
  • A Bank Teller
    Any,
    Any
    ,
    Any
    Can be double cast with the Gardener and the Orderlies.
    Can be played by:
    • Age: 
      Any age
    • Race/Ethnicity: 
      Any race/ethnicity
    • Gender: 
      Any gender
  • The Bank Manager
    Any,
    Any
    ,
    Any
    The Man From the Bank's boss. Does not appear in the play, but should be listed in the program (feel free to make up an actors name).
    Can be played by:
    • Age: 
      Any adult age
    • Race/Ethnicity: 
      Any race/ethnicity
    • Gender: 
      Any gender

Development History

  • Workshop
    ,
    New York University/Public Theater Collaboration Reloaded
    ,
    2014