Die, You Heartless Etc. Etc.

by David Guaspari

To take revenge on a girlfriend who dumped him Joel makes her a character in a stupid screenplay—but it’s not stupid enough.

To take revenge on a girlfriend who dumped him Joel makes her a character in a stupid screenplay—but it’s not stupid enough.

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Die, You Heartless Etc. Etc.

Character Information

Joel

Would-be hipster, would-be screenwriter.

Character Age

20-40

Character Gender Identity

Male
Can be played by:
- Actor Age
  
  20s,
  
  30s
- Actor Gender Identity
  
  Man
Max

A small-time showbiz promoter

Character Age

40+

Character Gender Identity

Male
Can be played by:
- Actor Age
  
  40s,
  
  50s,
  
  60s,
  
  70s+
- Actor Gender Identity
  
  Man
Gloria

A brassy waitress

Character Age

30+

Character Gender Identity

Female
Can be played by:
- Actor Age
  
  30s,
  
  40s,
  
  50s,
  
  60s
- Actor Gender Identity
  
  Woman

Development History

Type Reading, Organization Bloomsburg Theatre Ensemble 10-Minute Play Festival, Year 2020
Type Reading, Organization Ithaca Literary Festival, Year 2014

Production History

Type Community Theater, Organization Olde Tyme Radio Hour, WAMF (broadcast and podcast), Year 2019
Type Community Theater, Organization North Park Playwrights Festival, Year 2014

Awards

Audience Favorite (week 2)

North Park Playwrights Festival

Audience Choice