“I was named after a unit of measure. How do you get enthused by the knowledge that, when you came swimming into this world, all your parents were thinking of was 5,280 feet?”

Meet Miles Kettlehouse. Her folks were happily married on June 4th, 1982, and happily divorced a day shy of their first wedding anniversary. But dad never moved out! Or mom. So they’ve been loathing each other under the same roof for 34 years. They hate each other—like North Korea hates South Korea. So Miles’ life has been reduced to playing goodwill ambassador, UN peacekeeper and back-channel negotiator for her dysfunctional parents.

KETTLEHOUSE is an outrageous comedy of errors about lasting love, broken homes, nosebleeds and the art of Feng Shui.