HOW TO MURDER THE SUPER SCARY PREDATORY HIGH INTEREST STUDENT LOANS THAT HAVE SADDLED AN ENTIRE GENERATION WITH SO MUCH DEBT NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO BUY A HOUSE OR HAVE KIDS; or, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST STOP BUYING AVOCADO TOAST

by Karissa Murrell Myers

An out-of-work retail worker agrees to become an assassin and "take out" a disgusting blackmailer in order to pay off her overwhelming student loans and start a new life, despite the fact she has absolutely no idea what she's doing and is probably the worst person possible for this job.

An out-of-work retail worker agrees to become an assassin and "take out" a disgusting blackmailer in order to pay off her overwhelming student loans and start a new life, despite the fact she has absolutely no idea what she's doing and is probably the worst person possible for this job.

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HOW TO MURDER THE SUPER SCARY PREDATORY HIGH INTEREST STUDENT LOANS THAT HAVE SADDLED AN ENTIRE GENERATION WITH SO MUCH DEBT NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO BUY A HOUSE OR HAVE KIDS; or, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST STOP BUYING AVOCADO TOAST

Recommended by

  • CK Brestman: HOW TO MURDER THE SUPER SCARY PREDATORY HIGH INTEREST STUDENT LOANS THAT HAVE SADDLED AN ENTIRE GENERATION WITH SO MUCH DEBT NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO BUY A HOUSE OR HAVE KIDS; or, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST STOP BUYING AVOCADO TOAST by Karissa Murrell Myers
    “

    Truly twisted and darkly disturbing, HTMTSSPHISLTHSAEGWSMDNOWEBATBAHOHK;o,WCYJSBAT is an absurdist delight. Filled with a rogue's gallery of *the absolute worst* supporting characters, this piece offers great opportunities for talented character actors with physical comedy chops. A great story line that keeps twisting and turning and will surely keep the drunkest and rowdiest of fringe audiences engaged.

    Truly twisted and darkly disturbing, HTMTSSPHISLTHSAEGWSMDNOWEBATBAHOHK;o,WCYJSBAT is an absurdist delight. Filled with a rogue's gallery of *the absolute worst* supporting characters, this piece offers great opportunities for talented character actors with physical comedy chops. A great story line that keeps twisting and turning and will surely keep the drunkest and rowdiest of fringe audiences engaged.

    ”

Character Information

I suggest the following tracks be doubled up:
BUNNY/KLAUDINE/CANDY STRIPER/CAROL
ROBIN/NURSE/GHOST OF CAL'S MUMMY
SCORCH/DR. FISHBURN
CAL/JAMES/NOEL
  • Michelle
    29
    BIPOC
    She/her
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s,
      30s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      Asian, Pacific Islander, or Asian American,
      Black, African, Caribbean, or African American,
      Indigenous, First Nation, or Native American,
      Latinx/o/a or Hispanic,
      Middle Eastern, North African, or Arab American,
      Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander,
      South Asian or South Asian American
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Female
  • Brett
    30
    probably white
    he/him
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s,
      30s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Male
  • Robin
    20's
    any ethnicity
    She/her
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Female,
      Non-binary
  • Cal
    30's
    any ethnicity
    he/him
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s,
      30s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Male,
      Non-binary
  • Scorch
    20's
    any ethnicity
    he/him
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Male,
      Non-binary
  • Bunny
    20's
    any ethnicity
    She/her
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Female,
      Non-binary
  • The Holy Terror
    teen
    any ethnicity
    he/him
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      Teens,
      20s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Male,
      Non-binary

Development History

  • Workshop, Bramble Theatre Company, 2022
  • Reading, Bramble Theatre Company, 2022

Awards

  • Festival of Unfinished Work
    Bramble Theatre Company
    Winner
    2022