←Recommendations of Blink, And Your Ticket Is Worthless, a monologue

Damn, this feels all too real! "Mention the playwrights?" Yup. If it weren't so hilarious, we'd all be crying! At least some of them recouped their $20 submission fee!

As satirical as Sam Heyman's monologue piece is, there is a horrifying hint of truth to it. Not only that there exists some theater out there that might actually contemplate instigating this policy, but that there are playwrights who might actually give in to this for that elusive production. It's ridiculous, scary and probably in our play writing future.

The world of submissions has always been a complicated one and that is what Sam has captured so beautifully here. I could see it in my minds eye as this producer smiles down at the audience and offers his words where slowly they realise exactly what the playwrights have been through to get to this point. I could feel myself getting frustrated by the 'casual' way some of the lines are remarked, which only shows how relatable this piece is. It is a brilliant piece and as a performance would definitely open audiences eyes to the struggles of the creative.

Oh, Sam Heyman, you have created a brilliant monologue. Is there a theatre enlightened enough to dare produce it? We are one step away from this Black Mirror-esque situation. Or are we already there?

We need more monologues like this that hold up a mirror up to bad practices and behavior in theatre, shining a light on ignorance, inequities and disrespect for playwrights.

Oh, fuck you!

Heyman has fashioned a monologue illustrating a predicament that is, in equal measure, fantastical and familiar, cathartic and confounding, amusing and abhorrent!

In short, it is steeped in and reeks of the truths inherent in the business end of our craft, the end run by overblown amateurs with an inflated sense of their own and their institution’s importance to their meager and isolated cultural landscapes.

I am simultaneously furious and vindicated!

And again I say to this producer… fuuuuck youuuuu!

Brilliant! You had me at $20 playwright submission fee. As a playwright, I feel this all the time. Somewhere… my play is being performed for an audience - never to be seen again - with no proof that it ever lived.