Standing Room Only - FULL-LENGTH COMEDY

by Tom Erb

When the Thornfield Community Playhouse's pretentious director Bernard Wellington announces he's discovered a "lost Shakespeare manuscript," it sets the stage for theatrical chaos. With opening night just days away, the historic theater is falling apart, failed safety inspections threaten to shut down the production, and the dysfunctional theater company is imploding from within.

Bernard's long-suffering wife...

When the Thornfield Community Playhouse's pretentious director Bernard Wellington announces he's discovered a "lost Shakespeare manuscript," it sets the stage for theatrical chaos. With opening night just days away, the historic theater is falling apart, failed safety inspections threaten to shut down the production, and the dysfunctional theater company is imploding from within.

Bernard's long-suffering wife Eleanor and his ex-girlfriend Olivia are locked in a bitter rivalry, anxious stage manager Timothy is desperately trying to hold everything together, and costume designer Penny has mysterious reasons for wanting the show to fail. Meanwhile, the town's bombastic mayor demands a return on his investment. At the same time, Timothy's eccentric grandmother keeps insisting that the theater's original Victorian-era star is still watching over his domain.

As rehearsals descend into slapstick mayhem and long-buried secrets come to light, the company must somehow overcome their melodramas, financial troubles, and possible supernatural interference to put on the show of their lives – assuming the theater doesn't collapse around them first.

"Standing Room Only" is a fast-paced farce about the magic of theater, the ghosts of our past, and how even the most disastrous production can lead to unexpected transformation.

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Standing Room Only - FULL-LENGTH COMEDY

Recommended by

  • Dan West: Standing Room Only - FULL-LENGTH COMEDY by Tom Erb
    “

    A dilapidated building on the verge of condemnation, a "lost" Shakespeare play of dubious provenance, and a production budget that has somehow gone AWOL. These are just a few of the troubles that the cast and crew the latest Thornfield Community Playhouse production are faced with when the vengeful spirit a long dead actor arrives. A fast moving and fun full-length farce about what it takes to make theatre both practical and sublime

    A dilapidated building on the verge of condemnation, a "lost" Shakespeare play of dubious provenance, and a production budget that has somehow gone AWOL. These are just a few of the troubles that the cast and crew the latest Thornfield Community Playhouse production are faced with when the vengeful spirit a long dead actor arrives. A fast moving and fun full-length farce about what it takes to make theatre both practical and sublime

    ”
  • Kim E. Ruyle: Standing Room Only - FULL-LENGTH COMEDY by Tom Erb
    “

    Fun, frenetic theatre antics abound in Tom Erb’s Standing Room Only, a meta farce which gleefully flouts nearly every imaginable theatre trope. The exaggerated characters are great fun – my favorite is the pretentious, cape-wearing director, Bernard Wellington. Will the Thornfield Community Playhouse be able to surmount every imaginable challenge to “bring together impossible people to create impossible moments?” Read Standing Room Only to find out. It’s clever. It’s entertaining!

    Fun, frenetic theatre antics abound in Tom Erb’s Standing Room Only, a meta farce which gleefully flouts nearly every imaginable theatre trope. The exaggerated characters are great fun – my favorite is the pretentious, cape-wearing director, Bernard Wellington. Will the Thornfield Community Playhouse be able to surmount every imaginable challenge to “bring together impossible people to create impossible moments?” Read Standing Room Only to find out. It’s clever. It’s entertaining!

    ”

Character Information

  • BERNARD WELLINGTON
    Pretentious community theater director with delusions of grandeur. He claims to have discovered a "lost Shakespeare manuscript" that he's adapted for the stage. Speaks in a theatrical British accent despite being from Nebraska. Constantly quotes Shakespeare (often incorrectly) and wears a beret and scarf regardless of weather. I am a former high school English teacher who once played a spear carrier in a professional "Julius Caesar production. Never let anyone forget it.
    50S
    Mixed: Latino and White
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      50s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman
  • ELEANOR WELLINGTON
    Bernard's long-suffering wife and the lead actress. Former high school drama teacher who gave up her dreams of Broadway for marriage. Prone to dramatic outbursts and "emergency" glasses of wine. She speaks exaggeratedly and carries a tiny dog named "Yorick" in her purse. Self-medicates with "herbal tea" (wine) and has a ritual before every performance that involves three turns, a curtsy, and kissing a locket containing her first review (which was mediocre).
    40s
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      40s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman
  • OLIVIA MAXWELL
    Bernard's ex-girlfriend and Eleanor's understudy. Returned to town after a failed acting career in Los Angeles. Sarcastic, bitter, and still harbors feelings for Bernard. Constantly "accidentally" sabotaging Eleanor. She has changed her hair color seventeen times in the past year, wears oversized sunglasses indoors, and claims to have almost been cast in a superhero movie, but "the director was intimidated by her range."
    30s
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      30s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      Asian, Pacific Islander, or Asian American,
      Black, African, Caribbean, or African American,
      Indigenous, First Nation, or Native American,
      Latinx/o/a or Hispanic,
      Middle Eastern, North African, or Arab American,
      Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander,
      South Asian or South Asian American
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman
  • TIMOTHY WINTERS
    Anxious stage manager with undiagnosed OCD. Perpetually clutching a clipboard and checking his watch. Speaks rapidly and in technical theater jargon. Hiding the fact that the theater failed its safety inspection. He lives with his grandmother, collects vintage stopwatches, and has a system of color-coded Post-it notes that only he understands. Has an emergency kit containing everything from spare bullfights, anti-anxiety medication, and a tiny portable defibrillator.
    40s
    Male
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      40s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Man
  • PENELOPE "PENNY" FOSTER
    Passive-aggressive costume designer embezzling from the theater fund. Sweet as pie to everyone's face, venomous behind their backs. She speaks with a saccharine Southern accent that intensifies when she's lying. She wears exclusively vintage clothing and enormous costume jewelry that she "borrowed" from the theater's collection. His mysterious past includes three former husbands, none of whom can be located.
    50S
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      50s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman
  • MAYOR FRANK HOLDEN
    The town's bombastic mayor funding the production for publicity. He has no idea about art but pretends to. Constantly making inappropriate theater jokes and confusing Shakespeare with other writers. Former used car salesman who wears flashy suits and has a comb-over that defies the laws of physics. He refers to himself in the third person and is obsessed with getting his name on plaques, buildings, and possibly a statue.
    60s
    Male
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      60s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Man
  • VERONICA HOLDEN
    The mayor's daughter and assistant stage manager. Theater studies graduates who see through everyone's nonsense but play along. Secretly documenting everything for her thesis on "community theater dysfunction." She always has a coffee in hand, wears all black, and carries a notebook where she scribbles observations with alarming intensity. Occasional breaks the fourth wall to address the audience directly with withering commentary.
    20S
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman
  • HARRIET WINTERS
    Timothy's grandmother and the theater's oldest patron. Hard of hearing, brutally honest, and the only one who remembers Edgar Blackwood, the actor whose ghost haunts the theater. She carries hard candies in her purse, distributing whether people want them.
    80S
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      70s+
    • Actor Race/Ethnic Identity
      White
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Woman