People-Eating Dream Girl

by Caitlin M.S. Buxbaum

When college sophomore Gregg Dean meets Swiss transfer student Ursula Stromberg, he's sure he's met his Dream Girl—a witty, gorgeous cinephile. Except... she's a cannibal.

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People-Eating Dream Girl

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Arthur M Jolly: People-Eating Dream Girl by Caitlin M.S. Buxbaum

“

I was fortunate enough to see this at the Valdez Theatre Conference, and it's an audience-pleasing delightfully dark comedy, with witty lines, richly creacted characters, and a plot that weaves dysfunctional family shenanigans into a romantic comedy only lighly marred by the fact that one of the main characters likes to eat people. Other than that, she's a catch!

I was fortunate enough to see this at the Valdez Theatre Conference, and it's an audience-pleasing delightfully dark comedy, with witty lines, richly creacted characters, and a plot that weaves dysfunctional family shenanigans into a romantic comedy only lighly marred by the fact that one of the main characters likes to eat people. Other than that, she's a catch!

”

Character Information

The two EMTs are non-speaking parts and are best played by the same actors as Nora and Hank. The Manager role is best played by the Stage Manager or another crew member. See script notes for details.

Gregg Dean

An intelligent and slightly awkward college student. He's got that nerdy-cute vibe but frequently puts his foot in his mouth. He loves old movies and often misses red flags. One of those people with a lot of knowledge but not a lot of sense sometimes. Lives with his mom and sister. Still figuring out what he wants out of life and how he fits into the world.

Character Age

20-22

Character Race/Ethnic Identity

Any

Character Gender Identity

Male or male-presenting
Can be played by:
- Actor Age
  
  20s
- Actor Gender Identity
  
  Man,
  
  Non-binary
Kevin Anderson

Gregg's best friend, who uses a wheelchair. As smart as Gregg (maybe smarter) and equally hip to pop culture and old movies. Fancies himself a ladies man, has the hots for Gregg's older sister, Nora.

Character Age

20-22

Character Race/Ethnic Identity

Any

Character Gender Identity

Male or male-presenting
Can be played by:
- Actor Age
  
  20s
- Actor Gender Identity
  
  Man,
  
  Non-binary
Ursula Stromberg

A witty, charming...cannibal. She loves old movies, exploring abandoned buildings, and finding her own food. She's a Communications Major who may or may not look like Marilyn Monroe.

Character Age

20-24

Character Race/Ethnic Identity

Any -- preferably White

Character Gender Identity

Female
Can be played by:
- Actor Age
  
  20s
- Actor Gender Identity
  
  Woman
Nora Dean

Gregg's spicy older sister. NOT hip to the same pop culture as Gregg. Works at the local theatre (same as their mom) after lukewarm success with Only Fans.

Character Age

25-30

Character Race/Ethnic Identity

Any

Character Gender Identity

Female
Can be played by:
- Actor Age
  
  20s,
  
  30s
- Actor Gender Identity
  
  Non-binary,
  
  Woman
Sally Dean

Gregg's mom. Think Joyce Summers or Joyce Byers. Works at the local movie theatre.

Character Age

50s

Character Race/Ethnic Identity

Any

Character Gender Identity

Female
Can be played by:
- Actor Age
  
  40s,
  
  50s
- Actor Gender Identity
  
  Woman
Hank Sellers

Gregg & Kevin's professor, Sally's boyfriend

Character Age

50s

Character Race/Ethnic Identity

Any

Character Gender Identity

Male
Can be played by:
- Actor Age
  
  40s,
  
  50s
- Actor Gender Identity
  
  Man
Manager

Character Age

any

Character Race/Ethnic Identity

Any

Character Gender Identity

Any
Can be played by:
- Actor Age
  
  20s,
  
  30s,
  
  40s

Development History

Type Reading, Organization The Astrea Roswitha Playwriting Salon by The Table Collective, Year 2026
Type Reading, Organization Valdez Theatre Conference, Year 2026