Rhett Martinez

I was born in Houston, Texas, but my parents soon made the unfortunate decision to move to a small town an hour and a half away where I spent most of my formative years escaping back to the city. I attended Boston University where I graduated with my BFA in Theatre (Directing, Playwrighting, Acting) in 1993. Upon graduation, I moved to New York City where I began performing my one-man shows in the East Village/Alphabet City (back when it was still scary). For four years, I freelanced as a director and writer before moving back home to Houston. I met a beautiful woman named Sammi Sicinski, married her, and we started our own company, Bulletproof Productions. Together we produced three independent films, a revival of Jane Martin's "Anton in Show Business," had lots of fun, made no money...

I was born in Houston, Texas, but my parents soon made the unfortunate decision to move to a small town an hour and a half away where I spent most of my formative years escaping back to the city. I attended Boston University where I graduated with my BFA in Theatre (Directing, Playwrighting, Acting) in 1993. Upon graduation, I moved to New York City where I began performing my one-man shows in the East Village/Alphabet City (back when it was still scary). For four years, I freelanced as a director and writer before moving back home to Houston. I met a beautiful woman named Sammi Sicinski, married her, and we started our own company, Bulletproof Productions. Together we produced three independent films, a revival of Jane Martin's "Anton in Show Business," had lots of fun, made no money, got inspired, and moved to New York in 2004 (my second life in NYC, for anyone who’s keeping score). In 2007, I graduated from Brooklyn College with my MFA in Directing. In 2008, I directed a production of two of my own one-act plays at Impact Theater in Brooklyn. The show was such a huge success that the theater closed and is now a lingerie boutique. My wife and I were undaunted by this sign from the gods, but we were quite daunted by the skyrocketing rent prices as the real estate bubble reached its peak in 2008 and threatened to burst all over us. So we moved back home to Houston, bought a house, adopted more dogs, and continued our tradition of making independent films, staging independent productions, having lots of fun, and making no money.
On the horizon, we have plans to stage an original play, then, at the end of the run, use the same actors to shoot the film version of the story. (It’s a completely original idea we stole from the producers of "The History Boys" on Broadway.)
Still further on the horizon, we plan to continue producing original independent works and adopting utterly dependent dogs.

Scripts

Open Carry

by Rhett Martinez

Cast Size

6—11

Genre

comedy,

dark comedy,

drama,

political,

satire

Beacon reports for another hard day's work building up and tearing down The Wall only to discover his coworkers, Omelette and Pulp, have shown up armed: one with a Silverback Gorilla, the other with a Siberian Tiger. Sure, the open carry law says citizens are allowed to walk around with dangerous animals, but on top of that, someone has poisoned the well. Or at least, that's what one news feed is saying, but a...

Beacon reports for another hard day's work building up and tearing down The Wall only to discover his coworkers, Omelette and Pulp, have shown up armed: one with a Silverback Gorilla, the other with a Siberian Tiger. Sure, the open carry law says citizens are allowed to walk around with dangerous animals, but on top of that, someone has poisoned the well. Or at least, that's what one news feed is saying, but a rival news feed is reporting the exact opposite. So is the water safe to drink or not? And how is The Wall forever being built but never quite finished? And what makes everyone think they can have their own "truth?" Fortunately, there's a big trial coming up and maybe that will decide what's "fake news" and what's "real news." Or maybe someone will decide it's time for The Wall to come crashing down.

Three on a Match

by Rhett Martinez

Cast Size

4

Genre

comedy,

dark comedy,

drama,

experimental,

mystery/thriller,

political,

satire

An opulent hotel, in an unnamed South American country in a state of perpetual revolution, has been abandoned by everyone, save three: The Haberdasher who guards the secret of his past during the Great Good War; The Queen of an island-nation that no longer exists after sinking into the sea; The Girl Bellboy, an orphan of The Glorious Revolution, whose parents have been disappeared. They have cocooned themselves...

An opulent hotel, in an unnamed South American country in a state of perpetual revolution, has been abandoned by everyone, save three: The Haberdasher who guards the secret of his past during the Great Good War; The Queen of an island-nation that no longer exists after sinking into the sea; The Girl Bellboy, an orphan of The Glorious Revolution, whose parents have been disappeared. They have cocooned themselves here, in this abandoned hotel, away from the gunfire and chaos outside. And all is well, until...he arrives. The American. A shadowy man with a shadowy purpose. At first, he is charming, alluring, and as beguiling as he is handsome. But soon his charisma turns to venom as he reveals himself for who he really is…and what he really wants.

Baby Teeth

by Rhett Martinez

Cast Size

3

Genre

comedy,

dark comedy

Valencia and David are living a pretty life in their pretty home where they've been trying and failing to have a baby. But now Valencia has met someone, The Specialist, who claims to have the answer to their problem--several answers, in fact. When this shadowy purveyor of strange solutions enters their home, they end up getting a bit more than they bargained for...and so much more than they ever dreamed possible...

Valencia and David are living a pretty life in their pretty home where they've been trying and failing to have a baby. But now Valencia has met someone, The Specialist, who claims to have the answer to their problem--several answers, in fact. When this shadowy purveyor of strange solutions enters their home, they end up getting a bit more than they bargained for...and so much more than they ever dreamed possible.

Half a Ticket

by Rhett Martinez

Cast Size

3

Genre

dark comedy,

drama,

mystery/thriller

Mickey, a low-level hood in a black suit with a black hat, shows up at a shadowy Brooklyn warehouse in the dark of night. A bare-bulb light dangles overhead. He turns it on and finds a trunk. So naturally, he talks to the trunk. And the trunk talks back. Sure enough, as Mickey predicted, he discovers that his old pal, Jonesy, is trapped inside. Mickey releases his ex-friend, but as the two begin to catch up on...

Mickey, a low-level hood in a black suit with a black hat, shows up at a shadowy Brooklyn warehouse in the dark of night. A bare-bulb light dangles overhead. He turns it on and finds a trunk. So naturally, he talks to the trunk. And the trunk talks back. Sure enough, as Mickey predicted, he discovers that his old pal, Jonesy, is trapped inside. Mickey releases his ex-friend, but as the two begin to catch up on old times, it seems Jonesy is a little…off. First of all, he’s in his underwear—someone has stolen his suit—so Mickey loans him the coat off his back. Second of all, he keeps spacing out and losing his train of thought. Maybe it was all the time in the trunk. (How long was he in there? Jonesy can’t seem to recall, and doesn’t seem particularly perturbed by the ordeal.) Or maybe in the years since they last saw each other, Jonesy has started to go off the deep end. Or is he playing Mickey for a chump? And if so, then just wait till Frankie gets here. Then things are really going to get weird.

A Drag Christmas Carol

by Rhett Martinez

Cast Size

8—12

Genre

comedy,

dark comedy,

farce,

holiday,

musical,

parody/spoof,

political,

satire

The Charles Dickens classic reimagined with drag queens to become a political satire for contemporary America. (Plus, a few musical numbers to make it extra fun.)