scot walker

scot walker

PRODUCTION HISTORY

Have a Hoppy Holiday
22 Drama Notebook performances throughout the US in schools 2019

Hera’s Birthday Surprise
24 Drama Notebook performances throughout the US in schools 2019

Whole
Night of a Thousand Plays, Haddonfield, NJ July 2019

A Dim Light
Buffalo United Artists, Cabaret Space,...
PRODUCTION HISTORY

Have a Hoppy Holiday
22 Drama Notebook performances throughout the US in schools 2019

Hera’s Birthday Surprise
24 Drama Notebook performances throughout the US in schools 2019

Whole
Night of a Thousand Plays, Haddonfield, NJ July 2019

A Dim Light
Buffalo United Artists, Cabaret Space, Alleyway Theatre, Buffalo, NY, June 2019

Kenu, Hear the Wild Birds Sing? Kenu? Kenu?
BBC Radio, London, England March 2019


Count Dracula's Café (Revision)
Shafer Street Theatre, VCU, Richmond, VA September 2018

Porcupines Forever
Old Courthouse Theatre, Concord, NC August 2018

The Golden Goose
Roebuck Theatre, Times Square Arts Center, NY April2017

Hungry, Hungry Hippo Burgers
The Follies, Sarasota Florida November 2016

Revenge of the Howling Ring-tailed Spider Monkeys (revision of Screeches from the Zoo)
Horse Trade Theatre Group, New York City January 2013
Phillie's Primary Stages, “the Heart Attack Festival”, Philadelphia, PA February 2012
McLaren Comedy Play Competition, Midland Texas, 3rd place August 2011

2 Shorts in Black & White:
Count Dracula’s Café (10-minute comedy)
Count Dracula no longer likes the ballet, nor does he understand the opera and he hasn't gone to the theatre in a quarter century. In short, he's lost his creativity and his joy of life. The reason is the FDA banned homosexual blood donors over twenty-five years ago. With an all hetero blood supply (most of which is diabetic) Count Dracula longs to suck the blood of a few homos and restore his “gay, carefree” soul. His solution is to buy a Starbucks Cafe—because that’s where the queers hang out. The count figures with all that latte, and a bunch of screaming fags, he'll be back in the pink (and loving the opera again) by sunset. 3 actors, 10+ minutes, simple set.

and

Molasses Toast and French Fried Eels (one-act drama)

At a fateful breakfast in a small dinner, four friends discover that one of them has the power to foretell the hour and the day of each of their deaths as they learn a secret that will ultimately destroy one of them while redeeming the rest. 4 actors, 28 minutes, one table, 4 chairs.

Goethe Institut, Washington DC July 2009




Molasses Toast and French Fried Eels (one-act drama)
World Premiere
New Embassy Theatre, Cumberland, Maryland April 2009

3 Murdered Clowns: November 22, Screeches from the Zoo, and Eternal Bliss
DC Arts Center, Washington, DC July 2008

November 22 (one-act drama)
Reprised in 3 Murdered Clowns, DC Arts Center, Washington, DC July 2008
University of Wisconsin Forensics Department, Competitive Reading February-March 2004
Sackman Senior High School, Imperial, Missouri May 2003
Playwrights Forum, George Mason, Falls Church, VA, Staged Reading December 2002


November 22—a mystery. A dying former CIA agent reveals the identity of the real murderer of John F. Kennedy. The play has three twist endings. 2 M, simple set. Reading: Playwrights’ Forum, Falls Church, Virginia, December 3, 2002. Competitive Readings: Forensics Department, University of Wisconsin, on tour, February-March 2004. Performed: Seckman Senior High School, Imperial, Missouri, May 2003. Performed (as part of 3 Murdered Clowns) by Twenty-first Century Productions at the DC Arts Center, Washington, DC, July 2008.


Screeches from the Zoo—a comedy, A tour guide is arrested for assaulting a bus driver. Her defense is that after her group of 7th graders ran amok in the Washington zoo (when the girls, covered in cotton candy, were attacked by African Killer Bees, and the boys got into a pissing contest while standing on top of the stalls), the bus driver refused to take them home. 1 M, 1 F, simple set. Performed (as part of 3 Murdered Clowns) by Twenty-first Century Productions at the DC Arts Center, Washington, DC, July 2008.



The Lesbian and the Flying Pig
—a one act drama. A Lesbian CEO is haunted by memories of her childhood that occurred under the neon sign at the Flying Pig BBQ and Grill in Selma, Alabama, 1 M, 2 F, one set. Reading: Playwrights’ Forum, September 22, 2004; performed Palace of Wonders, June 27, 2007; opening Washington DC Fringe Festival, July 29-29, 2007.

Flashpoint Mead Theatre, Washington, DC July 2007
Palace of Wonders, Washington DC June 2007
Playwright’s Forum, George Mason, Falls Church, VA, Staged Reading August 2004

Corked (full-length farce)
James Lee Theatre, Falls Church, Virginia July 2006
!Corked—a comedy murder mystery farce. In a castle in the middle of the Chesapeake Bay, friends play parlor games that result in the triple murder! 4 M, 3 W, one set. Ran for twelve performances, July 14-30, 2006 at James Lee Theatre, Falls Church, Virginia.
Round House Theatre, Silver Spring, Maryland, Staged Reading April 2006
Metro Stage, Alexandria, Virginia, Staged Reading October 2004
Playwright’s Forum, George Mason, Falls Church, VA, Staged Reading May 2004

Eternal Bliss (a monologue)
Reprised in 3 Murdered Clowns, DC Arts Center, Washington, DC July 2008
Actors Theatre of Washington, Washington, DC, Staged Reading May 2004
Playwright’s Forum, George Mason, Falls Church, VA, Staged Reading March 2002
A monologue. A gay attorney, who has unknowingly had sex with a minor and is now being blackmailed, contemplates suicide. 1 M, simple set.
Reading: Playwrights’ Forum, Falls Church, Virginia, March 17, 2002.
Dramatic Reading Actors Theatre, Washington, DC, May 10, 2004.
Performed (as part of 3 Murdered Clowns) by Twenty-first Century Productions at the DC Arts Center, Washington, DC, July 2008.

Plays

  • ABIDE WITH ME (a monologue)
    Billy "Boo Boo Bear" Wallace, male, 68, is about to celebrate his 52nd anniversary with a half dozen of his closest friends and . . . his partner’s ghost.
  • ABIDE WITH ME (full version)
    While waiting to be married, Billy “Boo Boo Bear” Wallace and Mikey “Yogi Bear” Parker reminisce about the day they met at a Youth for Christ rally fifty years ago. They march and sing: “I may never march in the universe but I’m in the Lord’s army” and wonder why Christians want their children to become soldiers of the Lord when Jesus was a pacifist. As their wedding nears, they remember their first four...
    While waiting to be married, Billy “Boo Boo Bear” Wallace and Mikey “Yogi Bear” Parker reminisce about the day they met at a Youth for Christ rally fifty years ago. They march and sing: “I may never march in the universe but I’m in the Lord’s army” and wonder why Christians want their children to become soldiers of the Lord when Jesus was a pacifist. As their wedding nears, they remember their first four celibate years as students at the King's College, a Christian school with strict rules and penalties for everything from smoking to dancing to playing cards (let alone the practice of one man loving another). A moment before they’re scheduled to enter the sanctuary, however, “Boo” suffers a stroke and collapses. A year later, in Billy and Mikey’s apartment, after a second stroke, Billy's life depends on Mikey. “Life’s just a chance of choices, isn’t it? Just a chance we do the right thing. Snag the chance. Put all your choices on a piece of bread, smoosh them together and see the wonder that ensues. . . Life’s like that, isn’t it? A Wonder . . . just like the bread.” Mikey butters a piece of Wonder Bread, grabs a cow-shaped creamer and hurries to the man he loves and wonders who hurts more, Mikey from the strokes or him because he has to watch his lover suffer. As Mikey pours milk, Billy responds with “Moooooooo!” and Mikey sings “Moo River wider than the sky.” As difficult and tenuous as their lives have become, neither partner lets the other down until we learn that Billy has deliberately stopped taking his meds and, in order to make Mikey's life easier, dies. Another year passes, and, alone in the apartment, Mikey packs a picnic lunch with Billy’s favorite foods. Billy’s spirit remains nearby, however, trying to communicate. When Mikey becomes aware of his presence, he is enraged, “Why did you did you do this to me? Why did you kill yourself? I love you. I’ve always loved you.” As Billy’s spirit stands next to him, he tells Mikey something he’s not ready to hear: there is no heaven or hell or Jesus Christ, Anubis, Osiris, Thor or any of the other gods; they are merely manifestations of ourselves. “We live in eternity,” Boo says, “but from time to time, we come down to the garden. We eat, we fall in love and we have a moment to get away from the vastness of eternity. Living here in the garden gives us a perspective on eternity, without time here, we can’t comprehend the vastness of the universe.” At first, Mikey doesn’t believe him but within time, he understands: Death is really life and life is actually death. Now Mikey is ready to go to the other side with Billy as he explains that the men have been together since the beginning of time: they even wrote the songs they’ve been singing. “Remember our song?” Billy asks, as he takes Mikey’s hand and leads him off stage to life eternal with him. “Abide with me,” Mikey replies, “always abide with me.”
  • ALI BABA AND THE PRINCESS (a 10-minute play)
    Ali Baba and his sister reminisce about their past as they view the family photo album, sharing memories of their transgendered uncle: Kasim and how he affected their lives. At the end Ali Baba shows that he, too, is transitioning.
  • AM I BLUE FOR YOU? (10-minute play)
    A girl robot and a boy robot are on stage. one is holding a cell phone and the other is holding two very small balls. They play with them for quite a while, trying to figure out if these are their missing body parts.
  • APOLLO, THE SUN GOD, a MONOLOGUE
    Apollo is an old god now, retired, looking back on his life any age, any race. This is a five minute play, and a "read" video that won the L.A. FRINGE FILM FESTIVAL AWARD.
  • BERSERK (a 10-minute play)
    Janie has taken her school children to the zoo and they've run amok and when she finally got them gathered together the bus driver and Janie got into an argument. Now she's gone daft. . . berserk. .. totally nuts out of her mind
  • BLAME IT ON BALONEY (a 10-minute play)
    Each New Year's Eve, the folks in Lebanon, PA lower a 300-pound bologna to the ground and every year RITA'S mouth waters for a piece of it. This year, she's planning to steal it and use it as part of her upcoming production of BALONEY. She's already duct taped the director's mouth and left him tied up backstage. Now, the only person who stands in her way is LEE, a half-witted security...
    Each New Year's Eve, the folks in Lebanon, PA lower a 300-pound bologna to the ground and every year RITA'S mouth waters for a piece of it. This year, she's planning to steal it and use it as part of her upcoming production of BALONEY. She's already duct taped the director's mouth and left him tied up backstage. Now, the only person who stands in her way is LEE, a half-witted security guard, who ultimately falls for RITA'S lame-brained plan and helps her stage the play which is, of course, full of baloney The town is real! The bologna is real! the other baloney. . . well you can decide for yourself!
  • BUA takes 10: Stonewall Edition
    My play, A DIM LIGHT, is one part of the 10 pre-Stonewall plays that were performed in July in Buffalo, NY. and I've posted it here so that you can become familiar with other GLBTQ playwrights. If you are interested in producing any of the individual plays, please contact the individual playwright.
  • A CHANCE OF CHOICES, a MONOLOGUE
    Part 2 of a trilogy of monologues. BILL MIDDLETON and CARL JOHNSON, both 67, are at the eve of their fifty-first anniversary, but CARL has dementia and other health issues and may not make it through the night. CARL has no lines and his part may be played by a dummy.
  • CHRISTMAS MOURNING (a Christmas play)
    Marcus's accident killed their daughter and now his wife isn't speaking to him and it's Christmas Eve . . . and Mary Jo's birthday and Marcus and his wife Sheila must go to the cemetery to pay their respects to their little lost girl.
  • CINDER-ELLA (a 10-minute play)
    CINDER AND ELLA, two Chinese-made whistling robots, discovered a sneaker in their packing crate; now both wonder what body part it is—a vagina? A penis—and if it is one of those “thingies”, where on earth do they hang it? A 10 minute comedy representing female robots, a forgotten minority who end up with a different kind of slush in their SHOES.
  • CINDER HERFELLA (a 10 minute play)
    SYNOPSIS: What do naïve Chinese-made robots do when they discover boxes with their extra “parts”? How do they attach them? And what the hell are they used for, anyway?
  • CINDY-RELLY, THE ROCK VERSION (a 10-minute play)
    Two Chinese-made robots discover they are pussyless--all they have is a cell phone and a large sneaker--and their friend, Prince Charming, another Chinese-made robot. But what glorious ways they find to use their one sneaker . . .
  • COCK-A-DOODLE DO (a 10-minute play)
    Boy robot, straight out of the factor has an extra part and wonders if it could be his penis. . . only the girl robot knows for sure. . . or does she?
  • CORKED (a full length farce)
    ACT ONE: It’s Trick or Treat and the castle on Bell Island is under attack—well, not really. It’s just an outlandishly dressed security system salesman pounding at the castle gates. Alan Baker, the grandson of the castle’s owner, answers and discovers the stranger is not only a local deputy and owner of a banana plantation, but will also make a great foil for his nightly games. Alan tells the stranger, he’ll...
    ACT ONE: It’s Trick or Treat and the castle on Bell Island is under attack—well, not really. It’s just an outlandishly dressed security system salesman pounding at the castle gates. Alan Baker, the grandson of the castle’s owner, answers and discovers the stranger is not only a local deputy and owner of a banana plantation, but will also make a great foil for his nightly games. Alan tells the stranger, he’ll buy the security system if he returns to play a game at the castle. As he leaves, Alan warns the stranger about the crocodottles in the moat who will nibble his pants if they aren’t given bananas—“it’s your choice,” he says, ”they’ll nibble your toes—or eat your bananas. The stranger leaves, as crocodottle nibble his pants. Alan hurries into the drawing room, where everyone is watching Revenge, in which his grandmother, Anita Baker, won her Oscar. One of the catch phrases from the film is: To cocoa! which is often repeated by everyone. Then they play the Corked game and, with hands tied behind his back, Milton Bradley, the inventor of Gooses and Mooses and other board games, steps into the hallway to catch a champagne cork in his teeth but as soon as he re-enters the game room, with the cork in his teeth, he drops dead. Alan’s mom, Dr. Nancy Baker tries to revive him just as Holdit returns, playing the part of deputy. Nancy sniffs the cork and announces that Milton Bradley was poisoned. Suzi O’Brien, a guest, freaks out looking at the body, so Holdit, Nancy and Bobby drag the body to the wine cellar so “it will be happy . . . and Susie will stop screaming.” Holdit interviews the remaining suspects and after a lengthy discussion, he’s convinced Nancy is the murderer. She claims she’s innocent and tells everyone they are merely playing Clue and Milton Bradley is hiding behind the cellar door. When she opens the door, Milton’s propped against the closet with a knife in his chest. Then Bobby Sinclair, the local sheriff, pole vaults over the castle walls, dressed as a magician. Bobby sees Milton’s body and says, “Ha, the old knife in the chest routine!” When he touches the knife, he realizes Milton’s dead for the second time. Suddenly the lights go out and everyone pushes while hearing the sounds of something being dragged. When the lights come on, Milton’s body is gone and the floor is saturated with blood.

    ACT TWO: The guests realize the floor is covered with ketchup—not blood—and they search for Milton, assured he is still alive. Bobby says, “Let’s play the Chutes and Ladders game,” and look everywhere. Bobby finds a Hollywood prop room secreted between the game room and the dining room and, frustrated says, “Bodies don’t fall out of the sky,” just as Michael falls out of the window: he’s found a secret door without a staircase. Everyone enters the game room through trap doors and hidden passages. Then Nancy opens the coat closet door and finds Milton Bradley—beaten to death with a wrench. She hides it behind the sofa but Holdit has a stomachache and races to the kitchen. As soon as he leaves, everyone splits. Suzi and Nancy stand next to the Midget Memorial, which honors the memory of the three Hungarian midgets who fell from their death while changing light bulbs. Suzi picks up one of the statues and realizes it’s the same weight and length as Milton Bradley’s thang and Nancy agrees, as both women admit to having flings with Milton. The group trickles back and Bobby takes Holdit aside, suggesting that they play Good Cop, Bad Cop as Bobby counsels the guests one at a time—getting on their good side— while Holdit takes the rest into the dining room. During the investigation, the suspects reveal things, giving names of different suspects. After each interview, Bobby confers with Holdit, while playing Holdit for the dupe. Bobby’s first interview is with Nancy and he tells her about the short string of midget murders and the Snickers caper they were involved in as they sold candy to school children. He also tells Nancy he knows she and Milton were lovers and Alan is Milton’s son. He tells Nancy that Holdit is the main suspect. Then Bobby interviews Suzi and tells her he’s concerned about her because of her depression and her recent stay at the Hillary Clinton Mental Institution. Suzi blabs about Nancy’s and Milton Bradley’s affairs. Bobby continues interviewing—pretending to be the good guy as he turns the suspects against each other. At the end of his final interview, Bobby gathers everyone together to announce the name of the murderer. He lassoes Holdit announcing that Holdit is the murderer. Holdit proclaims his innocence and says he came to the castle to sell a security system. Bobby explains that Milton covered up the real cause of the midgets’ deaths and Milton hired Holdit to exchange a slippery treadless ladder for a non-slippery ladder to make their murder look like an accident since the midgets were shoeless and wore silk socks, they slipped off the smooth steps of a treadless ladder and died, Plop! Plop! Plop! Holdit adds that Milton Bradley hired Holdit to replace the ladder so the Bakers wouldn’t be sued for their negligence and lose everything, lock, stock and castle. Holdit proclaims his innocence as Mrs. Baker disappears and Alan begs Bobby to look in the desk for more clues. Bobby breaks open the desk and finds ketchup, making him realize that since Mrs. Baker had the only key, she left the ketchup in the drawer after murdering Milton Bradley the first time. Meanwhile, unknown to the rest, Mrs. Baker has begun the next game, Revenge, and starts quoting lines from her Academy Award performance. Mrs. Baker, brings in a machine gun—just as she did in Revenge. The machine gun is a prop, however and Bobby takes it away from her. Just as he does, Milton stands up and announces that he and Mrs. Baker have been playing Revenge. Holdit is confused. The group announces that Life is a game! They tell Holdit he’s the first fresh meat they’ve had in years and they wanted to savor the moments as they played with him. Holdit’s new family then welcomes him into the Baker household as Bobby proposes marriage to Nancy and Milton proposes marriage to Suzi. Then Michael falls to one knee and proposes to Mrs. Baker. After the triple wedding, Alan suggests they play The Newlywed Game, pulls out the Bob Eubanks Card and becomes emcee. “You’re part of the family now,” he tells Michael as everyone chants Newlywed Game, Newlywed Game, Newlywed Game”. Bobby kisses Nancy and Suzi kisses Milty. Holdit, now fully into the game, screams passionately, “Let the games begin!” as Michael shoves a cream pie in Holdit’s face so he gets his “just desserts.”. Curtain.
  • THE COTTON CANDY KIDS, a MONOLOGUE
    Chris, a schizophrenic tour guide's takes a group of school girls to the zoo and the girls end up stuck together in a big blob of cotton candy--all 5 of them--all 10 feet--all 50 fingers, rolling down Panda Way to Hippo Highway before being attacked by killer bees. This is a 3-minute monologue on the wild side of sanity. This play is from the 10-15 minute play, Screeches from the Zoo.
  • COUNT DRACULA'S CAFE (Female and T/gay version)
    SYNOPSIS: Two listless vampires, who purchased a coffee shop in Greenwich Village, wait for the morning rush of creative gay men . . . and their hot blood. Since 1983 when the FDA banned gays from giving blood, vampires have been withering away and unless gay blood flows back into the blood banks, this will be the vampires’ final hour!
  • COUNT DRACULA'S CAFE (10 MINUTE VERSION)
    Two listless vampires, who purchased a coffee shop in Greenwich Village, wait for the morning rush of creative gay men . . . and their hot blood. Since 1983 when the FDA banned gays from giving blood, vampires have been withering away. Now they don’t even enjoy the opera or ballet. Unless gay blood flows back into the blood banks, this will be the vampires’ final hour!

  • COUNT DRACULA'S CAFE (20 minute version)
    Two listless vampires, who purchased a coffee shop in Greenwich Village, wait for the morning rush of creative gay men . . . and their hot blood. Since 1983 when the FDA banned gays from giving blood, vampires have been withering away. Now they don’t even enjoy the opera or ballet. Unless gay blood flows back into the blood banks, this will be the vampires’ final hour!
  • COUNT DRACULA'S CAFE (Radio play version)
    SYNOPSIS: Two listless vampires, who purchased a coffee shop in Greenwich Village, wait for the morning rush of creative gay men . . . and their hot blood. Since 1983 when the FDA banned gays from giving blood, vampires have been withering away and unless gay blood flows back into the blood banks, this will be the vampires’ final hour!
  • CROCODILES CRY AT MIDNIGHT (a 10-minute play()
    Alan lives in a secluded castle and by happenstance, a castle-defense salesman comes pounding on his portcullis, after having fended off the banana eating crocodottles. A chance meeting you say? Or chance for Alan to find another dupe for the nightly games the zanies play in the Baker Cocoa Castle.
  • A DIM LIGHT (a 10-minute play)
    Homosexuals had secret signals in the 1950s, never giving their real names to anyone. This short play shows how difficult it was for homos to meet back then--when the slightest lisp or slip of the tongue would have landed a faggot in jail.
  • DING DONG (a 10-minute play)
    like spiders, they wait inside their home for missionaries--but do they have a surprise waiting for them!
  • DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL (full length)
    SYNOPSIS
    Set in the future, this tale takes place in Washington D.C. The captain kidnaps Kim, a cute San Franciscan, and brings him to Washington to be his lover. Meanwhile Kim’s ex-lover, Doug, tries to rescue him, but is captured by Libyan transvestites and, by chance, sold to the captain. Doug then plots to bring Kim’s current boyfriend, Steve, from San Francisco. Steve arrives and moves in with...
    SYNOPSIS
    Set in the future, this tale takes place in Washington D.C. The captain kidnaps Kim, a cute San Franciscan, and brings him to Washington to be his lover. Meanwhile Kim’s ex-lover, Doug, tries to rescue him, but is captured by Libyan transvestites and, by chance, sold to the captain. Doug then plots to bring Kim’s current boyfriend, Steve, from San Francisco. Steve arrives and moves in with Leonard, the captain’s neighbor. Doug then cuts a hole through the upstairs bedroom walls and disguises the entrance with a huge pivoting mirror so Jim and Steve can secretly move from the captain’s house to Leonard’s and make out. Unfortunately, while chasing squirrels on the roof, Hank, one of the captain’s mentally deficient staff members, spots Steve and Jim making love. In order to keep Hank from telling the captain, Doug tells Jim to continue pretending to be the captains lover, while also pretending to be Kim, Jim’s twin, living at Leonard’s house, with his boyfriend, Steve. As the act ends Jim and Steve make passionate love, while wild and crazy things happen in the garden.

    Act Two: Doug reconnoiters the garden, looking for spies before calling Leonard and Steve to discuss his plans. Steve jokes that Leonard is old and impotent, but Leonard says he’s a stallion in bed and even has enough money to hire male prostitutes. They ask why he doesn’t want a lover and he explains that a lover would cause too many headaches. It’s cheaper to rent one for the night. The men plan to get even with the kidnapping captain by teaching him a lesson by hiring Quentin, a male whore, to pretend to fall for the captain and Doug sends a gigantic cock ring to the captain as a symbol of Quentin’s dimensions. The captain, they hope, will take one look at it and drop Kim for the new boy. Leonard then enters with his boys, Quentin and Quentin’s fiend, Arnold. Leonard introduces Arnold as the master baiter—the man who will lure the captain into the trap. Doug tells the captain that Kim’s twin brother has just arrived in Washington so he’ll be free to release Kim and have free reign to play with Quentin. They walk to 69 Logan Circle, where the captain and Doug hide in Leonard’s garden, secretly observed by Leonard and all his friends. Arnold enters the garden and soliloquizes about Quentin’s love for the others. Arnold then says that Quentin is ardently in love with the captain and Doug tells the captain to send Kim packing as the captain pictures himself in bed with Quentin. Steve, disguised as a sailor, enters with the news that the ship is ready to sail and that Kim has to hurry. Doug escapes along with Kim (Jim) and Steve. Marcus comes to fetch the captain and says Quentin is naked and pining for him inside. The captain goes inside where a fight ensures and quickly spilling outside. Leonard and his friends call the captain a kidnapper and threaten to castrate him unless he gives up all his possessions and promises to mend his ways. The captain is left in nothing but his underpants as Hank returns with the message that everyone has escaped. The captain comes to his senses, realizes his mistake, and urges the audience to do the same. Curtain
  • DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL (The musical. . . under development)
    SYNOPSIS
    Set in the future, this tale takes place in Washington D.C. The captain kidnaps Kim, a cute San Franciscan, and brings him to Washington to be his lover. Meanwhile Kim’s ex-lover, Doug, tries to rescue him, but is captured by Libyan transvestites and, by chance, sold to the captain. Doug then plots to bring Kim’s current boyfriend, Steve, from San Francisco. Steve arrives and moves in with...
    SYNOPSIS
    Set in the future, this tale takes place in Washington D.C. The captain kidnaps Kim, a cute San Franciscan, and brings him to Washington to be his lover. Meanwhile Kim’s ex-lover, Doug, tries to rescue him, but is captured by Libyan transvestites and, by chance, sold to the captain. Doug then plots to bring Kim’s current boyfriend, Steve, from San Francisco. Steve arrives and moves in with Leonard, the captain’s neighbor. Doug then cuts a hole through the upstairs bedroom walls and disguises the entrance with a huge pivoting mirror so Jim and Steve can secretly move from the captain’s house to Leonard’s and make out. Unfortunately, while chasing squirrels on the roof, Hank, one of the captain’s mentally deficient staff members, spots Steve and Jim making love. In order to keep Hank from telling the captain, Doug tells Jim to continue pretending to be the captains lover, while also pretending to be Kim, Jim’s twin, living at Leonard’s house, with his boyfriend, Steve. As the act ends Jim and Steve make passionate love, while wild and crazy things happen in the garden.

    Act Two: Doug reconnoiters the garden, looking for spies before calling Leonard and Steve to discuss his plans. Steve jokes that Leonard is old and impotent, but Leonard says he’s a stallion in bed and even has enough money to hire male prostitutes. They ask why he doesn’t want a lover and he explains that a lover would cause too many headaches. It’s cheaper to rent one for the night. The men plan to get even with the kidnapping captain by teaching him a lesson by hiring Quentin, a male whore, to pretend to fall for the captain and Doug sends a gigantic cock ring to the captain as a symbol of Quentin’s dimensions. The captain, they hope, will take one look at it and drop Kim for the new boy. Leonard then enters with his boys, Quentin and Quentin’s fiend, Arnold. Leonard introduces Arnold as the master baiter—the man who will lure the captain into the trap. Doug tells the captain that Kim’s twin brother has just arrived in Washington so he’ll be free to release Kim and have free reign to play with Quentin. They walk to 69 Logan Circle, where the captain and Doug hide in Leonard’s garden, secretly observed by Leonard and all his friends. Arnold enters the garden and soliloquizes about Quentin’s love for the others. Arnold then says that Quentin is ardently in love with the captain and Doug tells the captain to send Kim packing as the captain pictures himself in bed with Quentin. Steve, disguised as a sailor, enters with the news that the ship is ready to sail and that Kim has to hurry. Doug escapes along with Kim (Jim) and Steve. Marcus comes to fetch the captain and says Quentin is naked and pining for him inside. The captain goes inside where a fight ensures and quickly spilling outside. Leonard and his friends call the captain a kidnapper and threaten to castrate him unless he gives up all his possessions and promises to mend his ways. The captain is left in nothing but his underpants as Hank returns with the message that everyone has escaped. The captain comes to his senses, realizes his mistake, and urges the audience to do the same. Curtain
  • DRAC'S CAFE (a five-minute play)
    A 5 minute version of Count Dracula's Café.
  • ETERNAL BLISS (10 minute monologue)
    A man is being blackmailed by a gay guy he picked up at the bar. How does he save his marriage and his job as a lawyer? How does he overcome?
  • ETERNAL BLISS, a 20-minute MONOLOGUE
    Reynaldo: White, Black or Latino, 30s, A young gay attorney and U.S. Congressman, inadvertently picks up a minor who blackmails him. Now the attorney stands with a gun, counting his reasons to be or not to be, should he pay up or commit suicide?
  • FINAL SOLUTION (a 10-minute play)
    How did gay men form lasting legal partnerships in the 1950s?
  • FIRST LOVE, (a monologue)
    Patrick, a man in his mid-seventies, remembers his childhood when he was a boy in the late 1950s and realized how alone he was. He was the only queer in the universe until he walked down that street and discovered he was not at all alone! First Love is an adaptation of a short story originally published in "Winston Churchill's American Cousin and Other Tales," by Writers Club Press, Lincoln NE, 2001.
  • FREEEDOM (a short play)
    How powerful is the NRA? Why isn't it legal to carry nuclear weapons anywhere you want? Isn't that a 2nd Amendment right?
  • GIVE ME A LIGHT (a 10-minute play)
    Bob and Steve are camping and twilight is setting in. Steve needs to take a leak in the forest but his flashlight is broken so he uses his new built in--and will keep you in stitches when you see where the light now comes from.
  • THE GOLDEN GOOSE (a teen-age play)
    Every day in America, twenty-four teenagers commit suicide. Normally no one discusses this until after a young person is dead. This play uses an old story: the killing of the Golden Goose in a modern day version that allows teens and adults a like to understand why children kill themselves and should lead to a discussion on what we can all do to prevent this tragedy. Schools and organizations willing to use...
    Every day in America, twenty-four teenagers commit suicide. Normally no one discusses this until after a young person is dead. This play uses an old story: the killing of the Golden Goose in a modern day version that allows teens and adults a like to understand why children kill themselves and should lead to a discussion on what we can all do to prevent this tragedy. Schools and organizations willing to use this in an educational environment should contact the author who will, on a case by case basis, with your written request, allow you to perform this short play free of royalty charges. Please contact scotwalker2004@yahoo.com for further information.
  • GOODBYE ZEUS, HELLO ZEUSY (an inspirational monologue)
    Zeus is all alone now. All the other gods have faded away and now he's re-imagining himself as Zeusy -- a god who rewards earthlings tenfold. . . if only they believe
  • THE GOLDEN YEARS (a one act version of Abide with Me)
    BILLY “BOO BOO BEAR” WALLACE and MIKEY “YOGI BEAR” PARKER, both 66, have been together 50 years. These three short scenes comprise the last 3 years of that relationship (from the longer play: ABIDE WITH ME))
  • HAPPY TOWN (a full-length zany comedies)
    this is a series of 12 wild and zany plays woven together into one small town that includes Count Dracula's Café, where you can only buy burgers if you pay for the insurance to eat them and several fast talking salesmen who will see you porcupines to defend yourselves and con-men who will sell you a year's supply of maid service for $29.
  • HAVE A HOPPY HOLIDAY (a 10-minute children's play)
    How do youngsters (7-15) handle the death and funeral of their pet frog. . . and what if that frog is not even religious. . . but an atheist?
  • HAVE A HOPPY HOLIDAY (Ethnic version)
    A child's frog has died! How does the child handle death? funerals? the concept of life eternal . . . is heaven just for humans or is it also for our favorite pets
  • HEAT AT LAST, (a short sci fi monologue)
    A man returns to Washington DC from the year 2931 and discovers that the city is a lush green rainforest filled with gorgeous women. He as the sole survivor from his time period must make a decision: to remain or return. He hears the words "man" followed by "feast". . .
  • HEAT AT LAST (Monologue, female version)
    She's come from the future, from her land of perpetual land of ice and snow to Washington DC in the early 21st century. What she finds may save her soul . . . and it may not.
  • HERA'S BIRTHDAY SURPRISE (an on-stage radio play for Middle Schoolers)
    Your team of noise experts can have a field day with this play: It's Hera's birthday and Mercury drops her piano-crate size present from the heavens, barely missing her. Well, if that didn't get her temper flaring, the fact that the box contained another box and another and another and the last one had to be opened with dynamite certainly did. . . what cool present had Zeus sent her blushing...
    Your team of noise experts can have a field day with this play: It's Hera's birthday and Mercury drops her piano-crate size present from the heavens, barely missing her. Well, if that didn't get her temper flaring, the fact that the box contained another box and another and another and the last one had to be opened with dynamite certainly did. . . what cool present had Zeus sent her blushing bride? An anger management certificate, of course. Your team of noise experts can have a field day with:
  • HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPO BURGERS (a 10-minute play)
    Synopsis: What happens when a customer tries to buy a hamburger and is told he must insure it before he will be served?


  • HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPO BURGERS (POTUS version)
    The President of the United States has escaped and as hungry as the devil. He stops off at his favorite hamburger joint only to learn that he must buy insurance on his meal.
  • HUSTLER (a ten minute play)
    Synopsis: How do cigarette companies stay in business? By tapping into Federal money promoting health care, after all . . . without cigarettes, cancer deaths will go down and our health care service providers will run out of jobs!
  • IF ONLY YOU WERE IN CINDER AND ELLA'S SHOES (a 10-minute play)
    CINDER AND ELLA, two Chinese-made whistling robots, discovered a sneaker in their packing crate; now both wonder what body part it is—a vagina? A penis—and if it is one of those “thingies”, where on earth do they hang it?
  • THE IMMIGRANT AND THE LADY, (a monologue)
    What was that moment like? The moment when a Vietnamese immigrant first reached America . . . whom did he see and how did that Lady affect him . . . and all the rest of us? is an adaptation of a short story originally published in "Winston Churchill's American Cousin and Other Tales," by Writers Club Press, Lincoln NE, 2001.
  • JAMES DEAN, ABBOTT AND COSTELLO AND THE MARTIANS
    ynopsis: James Dean, who is really 86, but looks as young and hot as he did when he was abducted at age 24, enters the Hungry Hippo Hamburger joint, wearing tight jeans. He’s shirtless but wears an open leather jacket and cowboy boots. James, who has not had a hamburger since his abduction by Martians in 1955, was just transported back to earth with barely enough money to buy a meal. . . And now he learns he...
    ynopsis: James Dean, who is really 86, but looks as young and hot as he did when he was abducted at age 24, enters the Hungry Hippo Hamburger joint, wearing tight jeans. He’s shirtless but wears an open leather jacket and cowboy boots. James, who has not had a hamburger since his abduction by Martians in 1955, was just transported back to earth with barely enough money to buy a meal. . . And now he learns he has to pay for insurance on his burger. Will Hollywood sex star problems never end? (This is an updated version of the Hungry, Hungry Hippo Burgers
  • JUMP HIGH OR THE CROCODOTTLES WILL NIBBLE YOUR PANT LEGS (a 10-minute play)
    Just how difficult is it for a gay man to find and date a fellow soul when he lives in a castle with a moat filled with banana-eating crodotttles? (Crocodiles eat human flesh; crocodottles eat bananas and were special bred for the PETA members who live in the castle.
  • JUNO'S BIRTHDAY SURPRISE, (A RADIO PLAY FOR CHILDREN)
    An on-stage old fashioned "radio play." It's Juno's birthday--and her old man, Jupiter, has dropped a huge present in front of her--Venus and Mercury help her figure out what's in the piano crate sized box and why on earth it would be dropped from the sky.
  • KENU, HEAR THE WILD BIRDS SING, KENU, KENU (10-minute version)
    Two men meet in a parking lot behind the previous site of the Ringling Brothers circus. One, Robin Byrd, is disfigured and disabled; the other, Kenu Walker, is totally whole—at least on the outside . . . Yet, sadly, it takes a murder for Kenu to become transformed by the inner beauty in Robin’s fleeting soul.
  • KENU, HEAR THE WILD BIRDS SING? KENU? KENU? (a 20 minute play)
    Two men meet in a parking lot behind the previous site of the Ringling Brothers circus. One, Robin Byrd, is disfigured and disabled; the other, Kenu Walker, is totally whole—at least on the outside . . . Yet, sadly, it takes a murder for Kenu to become transformed by the inner beauty in Robin’s fleeting soul.
  • KENU, HEAR THE WILD BIRDS SING? KENU? KENU? (A RADIO PLAY)
    Synopsis: Two men meet in a parking lot behind the previous site of the Ringling Brothers circus. One, Robin Byrd, is disfigured and disabled; the other, Kenu Walker, is totally whole—at least on the outside . . . Yet, sadly, it takes a murder for Kenu to become transformed by the inner beauty in Robin’s fleeting soul.
  • LEGEND OF THE BAKER COCOA CASTLE (a monologue)
    Just because you live in a castle surrounded by a moat filled with banana eating crocodiles doesn't mean you can't play games and enjoy life. Tonight's we're playing the Champaign game and Uncle Milty will catch a cork in his teeth--but it's poisoned, and he dies. . . the first of his three deaths this evening as you and the zany men and women in the castle try to figure out who killed...
    Just because you live in a castle surrounded by a moat filled with banana eating crocodiles doesn't mean you can't play games and enjoy life. Tonight's we're playing the Champaign game and Uncle Milty will catch a cork in his teeth--but it's poisoned, and he dies. . . the first of his three deaths this evening as you and the zany men and women in the castle try to figure out who killed Uncle Milty. Are you up for it? Your one guarantee is that you won't fall asleep.
  • THE LESBIAN AND THE FLYING PIG
    Synopsis: The Lesbian and the Flying Pig examines life in America when Evangelicals control the government. Immediately after Sunday morning worship service and a family-friendly pot luck dinner, Christians stone fags for Jesus. Into this futuristic world, enter Peg Middleton, CEO of Honor Thy Children, an organization dedicated to re-programing children of homosexuals and Peg’s boss, who learns the truth about...
    Synopsis: The Lesbian and the Flying Pig examines life in America when Evangelicals control the government. Immediately after Sunday morning worship service and a family-friendly pot luck dinner, Christians stone fags for Jesus. Into this futuristic world, enter Peg Middleton, CEO of Honor Thy Children, an organization dedicated to re-programing children of homosexuals and Peg’s boss, who learns the truth about her childhood—her so-called rape—and the truth about the Flying Pig that oversaw it all, watching and waiting.
  • LIVING ON THE EDGE (a monologue)
    How exactly do fleas romance each other? Do they have a secret code? and how on earth does one lone flea living on the rim of a telescope in the Canary Islands find the flea of his dreams?
  • THE LOST GRAVE, a MONOLOGUE
    a monologue in which a man remembers his childhood searching for the lost grave of his great-grandfather, only to find that someone has stolen grandpa's grave. Adapted from the short story by the same name in "Winston Churchill's American Cousin and Other Tales, by Scot Walker", Writer's Club Press, Lincoln, Nebraska, 2001
  • MAIDS ABROAD (a monologue)
    Would you believe you could receive 6-day a week 8-hour a day maid service for a mere $35 a month--guaranteed for the rest of your doggone life? Well . . . seeing is believing.
  • MOLASSES TOAST AND FRENCH FRIED EELS (a one-act play)
    Molasses Toast and French Fried Eels revolves around a fateful breakfast at a small dinner where four friends discover that one of them has the power to foretell the exact hour, day and method of their deaths as they learn a secret that will ultimately destroy one of them while redeeming the rest.
  • MOLESTED, (a monologue)
    Part 2 of a series of 3, based on the Lesbian and the Flying Pig. A woman struggles to remember her rape as a child, but because the government has been overtaken by the Christian right, she is threatened with her job. She will be fired. She will go to jail. But, no she is a survivor.
  • MURDER REHAB (a 10-minute play)
    Three women decide to give up murder and join Murder Rehab for their nightly meetings, but their minds do wander.
  • NOVEMBER 22
    A mystery examining the relationship between Dave, who has hidden the truth about the Kennedy assassination until now, on his deathbed, he knows he must reveal it, and his lifelong friend, who just happens to have abetted the assassin. One is dying and yearns to tell his side of the story. The other will soon commit murder.
  • THE OAKVILLE VALLEY MISSION MUNICIPAL WASTE-WATER FACILITY AND HOME FOR INCURABLES BAPTIST CHURCH (a 10-minute play)
    Does the Lord still perform miracles?
  • OLIVA NEWTON'S JOHNS (A 10-minute play)
    OLIVIA NEWTON, DICK, and PETER, three Chinese-made robots, are caught up in a discussion about their missing body parts. Dick’s found a sneaker in their packing crate and now they wonder is a vagina. . . or a penis.
  • PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS! (a 10-minute play)
    3 women try to give up murder . . . for one last time, but oh how glorious are their memories
  • PEANUT BOY, a MONOLOGUE
    Saigon has just fallen to the Communist and the school boys are ordered into the peanut fields, to weed, and help the fatherland. All of the boys are city boys and have no idea what a peanut plant looks like so they rip them all up, toss the weeds and replant the peanuts. Sadly, everything dies--but the boys are heroes for working so diligently and so speedily in the fields. Peanut Boy is an adaptation of a...
    Saigon has just fallen to the Communist and the school boys are ordered into the peanut fields, to weed, and help the fatherland. All of the boys are city boys and have no idea what a peanut plant looks like so they rip them all up, toss the weeds and replant the peanuts. Sadly, everything dies--but the boys are heroes for working so diligently and so speedily in the fields. Peanut Boy is an adaptation of a short story originally published in "Winston Churchill's American Cousin and Other Tales," by Writers Club Press, Lincoln NE, 2001.
  • POOF (a monologue)
    How does a grandma instill integrity and common sense into her grandson’s fantasy world?
  • THE POWER OF THE PUSSY (a 10-minute play)
    CINDER AND ELLA, two Chinese-made whistling robots, discovered a sneaker in their packing crate; now both wonder what body part it is—a vagina? A penis—and if it is one of those “thingies”, where on earth do they hang it? A 10 minute comedy representing female robots, a forgotten minority who end up with a different kind of slush in their shoes!
  • PRETTY PLASTIC FLOWERS FOR HER GRAVE, (a Christmas play)
    How does a couple cope with the death of their young daughter on the dead girl's birthday . . .when they haven't spoken to each other since that fateful day?
  • PRETTY PLASTIC FLOWERS FOR HER GRAVE (Valentine's edition)
    A family has lost their baby girl in a car accident and the mom thinks it's all because her husband forgot to fasten her safely in her car seat. They haven't spoken in weeks. They're ready to walk away from each other--but today is Valentine's Day and their baby girl's birthday
  • PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS (a 10-minute play)
    Petunia advertises that she can eat your meal for you and consume the fat but she can download the energy. You believe that, right?
  • REVENGE (a comedy murder mystery)
    In Act One, it’s Halloween and the castle on Bell Island is under attack—well, not really. It’s just an outlandishly dressed security system salesman pounding at the castle gates. Alan Baker, the grandson of the owner, answers and learns the stranger is not only a local deputy and owner of a banana plantation, but will also make a great foil for his nightly games. As he leaves, Alan warns the stranger about the...
    In Act One, it’s Halloween and the castle on Bell Island is under attack—well, not really. It’s just an outlandishly dressed security system salesman pounding at the castle gates. Alan Baker, the grandson of the owner, answers and learns the stranger is not only a local deputy and owner of a banana plantation, but will also make a great foil for his nightly games. As he leaves, Alan warns the stranger about the crocodottles in the moat who will nibble his pants if they aren’t given bananas. Meanwhile, everyone is watching Revenge, for which his grandmother, Anita Baker, won her Oscar. Then they play the cork game as Milton Bradley catches a champagne cork in his teeth and drops dead. Alan’s mom, Nancy Baker, tries to revive him just as the security salesman, Michael Holdit, returns and unwittingly plays the part of deputy. Nancy sniffs the cork and announces that Milton Bradley was poisoned. Suzi O’Brien, freaks out looking at the body, so the rest drag the body to the cellar. Holdit interviews the remaining suspects and is convinced Nancy’s the murderer. She claims she was playing a game and Milton is alive behind the cellar door, but when she opens it, Milton Bradley hangs on the door with a knife in his chest. Bobby Sinclair then pole vaults over the castle walls, he’s the local sheriff but come, without bananas, to rescue everyone could only enter the castle by pole vaulting. The lights go out and when they come on, Milton’s body is gone and the floor is saturated with blood. In Act Two, everyone realizes the floor is covered in ketchup, not blood, and search for Milton, looking for chutes and ladders and hidden passages. Bobby discovers a Hollywood prop room, but frustrated because he can’t find the body, says, “Bodies just don’t fall out of the sky,” just as Michael falls out of the second floor window and lands in the moat. Everybody re-enters the game room through trap doors and hidden passages. Then Nancy opens the closet door and finds Milton Bradley—beaten to death with a wrench. As Holdit gets sick and exits, Suzi and Nancy stand next to the Midget Memorial, which honors the memory of the three Hungarian midgets who fell from their death while changing the castle’s lightbulbs, and play with one of the statues, which reminds them of Milton’s thang.. Holdit and Bobby decide to interrogate each person separately as Holdit takes everyone into the dining room and releases them one by one to Bobby. During the investigation, the suspects accidentally reveal things about themselves. Bobby’s first interview is with Nancy and he tells her he knows she and Milton were lovers and Alan is Milton’s son. Then Bobby interviews Suzi and tells her he’s concerned about her because of her depression and her recent stay at the Hillary Clinton Mental Institution. Finally, Bobby gathers everyone together to announce the name of the murderer. He lassoes Holdit announcing that Holdit’s the murderer. Bobby explains that Milton covered up the real cause of the midgets’ deaths and Milton hired Holdit to exchange a slippery treadless ladder for a non-slippery ladder to make their murder look like an accident. In retaliation, Holdit killed Milton! Mrs. Baker disappears as Bobby breaks open the desk drawer and finds ketchup, making him realize that since Mrs. Baker had the only key, she left the ketchup in the drawer after murdering Milton. Mrs. Baker has begun the next game, Revenge, and starts quoting lines from her Academy Award performance. Mrs. Baker, brings in a machine gun—just as she did in the final act of the movie, Revenge. The machine gun is a prop, however and Bobby takes it away from her. Just as he does, Milton arrives and announces that he and Mrs. Baker have been playing Revenge. Holdit is confused. The group announces that Life is a game! They tell Holdit he’s fresh meat and they wanted to play with him. Holdit is then welcomed, as Bobby proposes to Nancy and Milton proposes to Suzi. Then Michael proposes to Mrs. Baker. After the triple wedding, they play The Newlywed Game. Bobby kisses Nancy and Suzi kisses Milty. Michael then screams “Let the games begin!” as he shoves a cream pie in Holdit’s face saying Holdit has earned his just desserts. Curtain.
  • REVENGE (college age edition)
    7 zany characters spend their summer in a castle surrounded by crocodottles (that eat bananas instead of human flesh)--and as one, Ryan LaBille, catches a Champaign cork in his teeth, in their nightly games, he falls down dead. As the rest try to solve his murder and the local cop comes pole vaulting over the castle walls, we see Ryan killed again--and then once more. . . because three time sis the charm, isn...
    7 zany characters spend their summer in a castle surrounded by crocodottles (that eat bananas instead of human flesh)--and as one, Ryan LaBille, catches a Champaign cork in his teeth, in their nightly games, he falls down dead. As the rest try to solve his murder and the local cop comes pole vaulting over the castle walls, we see Ryan killed again--and then once more. . . because three time sis the charm, isn't it? and of course all this happens on Halloween!
  • REVENGE, DINNER THEATRE VERSION
    It's Halloween and you're in your castle surrounded by banana-eating crocodiles when a salesman comes to your castle moat door. What better beginning than to make him the dupe of your nighty games--where tonight one of you will be murdered, not once, not twice, but three times because three times is the charm. This is an audience participation play with minimal set and a ton of sound effects (made by...
    It's Halloween and you're in your castle surrounded by banana-eating crocodiles when a salesman comes to your castle moat door. What better beginning than to make him the dupe of your nighty games--where tonight one of you will be murdered, not once, not twice, but three times because three times is the charm. This is an audience participation play with minimal set and a ton of sound effects (made by your audience) and 2 or 3 light professionals (actually folks in the audience who are lent flashlights to create the lightning.
  • REVENGE OF THE HOWLING RING-TAILED SPIDER MONKEYS (for puppet and actor)
    What happens when a disturbed tour guide takes a group of urchins to the zoo and they run amok, the boys jumping in elephant poop, the girls getting meshed together in cotton candy and attacked by killer bees? What happens when she attacks the bus driver and he leaves her in the middle of nowhere and she calls a cop. . . who just happens to be the puppet dangling from her arm?
  • ROCKING ROBOTS (a 10-minute play)
    SYNOPSIS: What do naïve Chinese-made robots do when they discover boxes with their extra “parts”? How do they attach them? And what the hell are they used for?
  • SALLY C, (a monologue)
    in this coming of age story, a young girl named Sally C. Shells reminisces about collecting shells and putting them everywhere--in her mom's kitchen, in her dad's workshop, and even in her wagon. At the end she decides since she's stuck with the name Sally C. Shells and sells shells, she'll end up owning Shell Oil Company.
  • SCREECHES FROM THE ZOO, (for a puppet and his actor)
    A distraught tour guide ferries a group of sixth graders to the zoo and everything goes wrong. The girls get stuck together in a mass of cotton candy and go rolling down Panda Pathway, then the boys have a pp contest and then the guide is arrested by a cop--who just happens to the puppet at the end of her arm. This is a monologue that will keep your audience laughting
  • A SHOE BY ANY OTHER NAME (10 minute play)
    Synopsis CINDY AND RELLY, two Chinese-made robots, just found a sneaker in their packing box; now both wonder what body part it is—a vagina? A penis—and if it is one of those “things”, where on earth does it go?
  • ST. PATRICK'S DAY (a 10-minute play)
    Sheila and Marcus, a young couple, haven't spoken in weeks. There little boy is dead and Sheila blames Marcus for the car accident. Today is not only St. Patrick's Day, it's their son's birthday. . . name of course, for the saint.
  • THE TEN-MINUTE SCREW (a 10-minute play)
    Cast:
    Yvette—adult female, any age, stage manager
    Alicia—adult female, any age, attractive or plain, it matters not: she’s the sole owner of a French chateau
    Roberto—Latino, adult male, well-built (being hung helps), any age, carpenter at the French chateau
  • TO HAVE AND TO HOLD (a 10-minute play)
    BILL MIDDLETON and CARL JOHNSON, both 66, have been together 50 years . . . or is it 49? Yet today as they plan to marry, they also face a major complication: CARL has been suffering from dementia for the past year
  • TRIAL, A MONOLOGUE by Scot Walker
    A man spends the night fighting a monster, kills it, but is then put on trial for killing the last of its species.
  • TRUMP TOWER (a 10-minute play)
    What happens in the basement of Trump Tower when a gaggle of 3 women get together for their weekly meeting of Murder Anonymous. Can they talk themselves down? And just how gruesome was that paper shredder?
  • UNBROKEN HEART, A MONOLOGUE by Scot Walker
    I remember wearing a pink taffeta dress and twirling, twirling, twirling. I remember girls giggling. And boys. I remember the boys.

    (Pause)
    A rape victim whose memory of the event are fragmentary, struggles trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together--"I remember clowns and cupcakes and candles. I remember blowing out twelve candles shaped like tiny pink ballerinas, wafting away a...
    I remember wearing a pink taffeta dress and twirling, twirling, twirling. I remember girls giggling. And boys. I remember the boys.

    (Pause)
    A rape victim whose memory of the event are fragmentary, struggles trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together--"I remember clowns and cupcakes and candles. I remember blowing out twelve candles shaped like tiny pink ballerinas, wafting away a lifetime of innocence. And the next day I woke up, remembering nothing but the sense of helplessness . . . the hopelessness of despair," but ultimately she realizes she is a survivor. This is a monologue from the Lesbian and the Flying Pig.
  • THE UNDRESSER (a 10-minute play)
    In most Broadway shows, there's a dresser backstage to help the star into his costume, but here on this small stage, there's an Undresser to help him strip. In the process, both men bare their souls.
  • VLAD'S STREET CORNER CAFE (a 20-minute play)
    Two listless vampires, who purchased a coffee shop in Greenwich Village, wait for the morning rush of creative gay men . . . and their hot blood. Since 1983 when the FDA banned gays from giving blood, vampires have been withering away. They don’t even enjoy the opera or ballet any more. Unless gay blood flows back into the blood banks, this will be the vampires’ final hour!
  • WE THREE KINGS, A MONOLOGUE by Scot Walker
    It's Christmas Eve and a man watches three boys playing on the train. The boys meet the "camera lady" and a mother with a young child. They are so well behaved that the camera lady gives them each a piece of candy but as they leave they give the candy to the mother of the baby. They leave and the camera lady realizes they are all wearing jackets with KINGS on the back, and as the Three Kings...
    It's Christmas Eve and a man watches three boys playing on the train. The boys meet the "camera lady" and a mother with a young child. They are so well behaved that the camera lady gives them each a piece of candy but as they leave they give the candy to the mother of the baby. They leave and the camera lady realizes they are all wearing jackets with KINGS on the back, and as the Three Kings leave, the baby smiles. Adapted from the published short story: We Three Kings in "Winston Churchill's American Cousin and Other Tales" Writers Club Press, Lincoln, NE, 2001
  • WHOLE, (a monologue)
    A woman reflects on her childhood when she washes dishes at her public school every day for 6 years in order to get a free lunch, just now realizing how poor her family was as far as money was concerned, but how totally rich because of the love by her mother.
  • THE YARD SALE, A MONOLOGUE by Scot Walker
    A young girl, who just happens to be named Sigourney Weaver (and is not related to the famous actor) reflects on her belongings as she sells them at a yard sale, including her Darth Vader mask but keeps that cute tail she wore in the elementary school play, figuring it will make a great purse for her to carry when she's grown up and walking the Red Carpet at the Oscars.
  • HAPPY TOWN (college version)
    Happy Town is a series of 11 comedies that take place in Happy, a very happy town:

    HAPPY TOWN

    Scenes and characters

    Prologue: Mayor Dick P. Happy (1 M) Happy Town

    Act One
    Scene One: James Dean, Abbott and Costello and the Martians (1 M; 2 F), a restaurant
    Scene Two: Cinder-Ella (2 F), Happy College stage
    Scene Three: Maids...
    Happy Town is a series of 11 comedies that take place in Happy, a very happy town:

    HAPPY TOWN

    Scenes and characters

    Prologue: Mayor Dick P. Happy (1 M) Happy Town

    Act One
    Scene One: James Dean, Abbott and Costello and the Martians (1 M; 2 F), a restaurant
    Scene Two: Cinder-Ella (2 F), Happy College stage
    Scene Three: Maids Abroad (1 F) Happy Hi Rise, an office
    Scene Four: The Purple People Eater (2 F) Happy Hi Rise, another office
    Scene Five: Blame it on Baloney (1 M; 1 F) Happy College stage
    Scene Six: Give Me Light (2 M) Happy Regional Park

    Act Two
    Scene One: Screeches from the Zoo (1 M, or F) and one hand puppet, Regional Park
    Scene Two: Ding Dong (2 M, 2 F) Happy Hi Rise, living room in an apartment
    Scene Three: The Golden Goose (4 F,) Happy Regional Park
    Scene Four: Murder Rehab (3 F) Happy Hi Rise, living room in an apartment
    Scene Five: Count Dracula’s Cafe (3 M), a restaurant

    Maximum cast needed: 10 M and 18 F but actors may play several roles at the discretion of director.