John Weagly

John Weagly’s work has been called "exuberant” – Chicago Tribune, "charming" – Chicago Reader and "appealingly quirky" – Chicago Sun-Times. In the early 1990’s, John toured the United States as a writer/performer with “Authorized Personnel: A Comedy and Improv Team.” His first play, "Dr. Goat: Goat Doctor," was produced by the Bloomington Playwrights Project in Bloomington, Indiana in 1992. Since then, he’s had over 100 scripts receive over 200 productions by theaters around the world. Some of the theaters that have produced his plays include Dandelion Theatre in Chicago, Illinois; Truffle Theatre Company in New York; The Artistic Home in Chicago, Illinois; Stage Q in Madison, Wisconsin; Second City in Chicago, Illinois; Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga in Chattanooga, Tennessee; Strawdog...

John Weagly’s work has been called "exuberant” – Chicago Tribune, "charming" – Chicago Reader and "appealingly quirky" – Chicago Sun-Times. In the early 1990’s, John toured the United States as a writer/performer with “Authorized Personnel: A Comedy and Improv Team.” His first play, "Dr. Goat: Goat Doctor," was produced by the Bloomington Playwrights Project in Bloomington, Indiana in 1992. Since then, he’s had over 100 scripts receive over 200 productions by theaters around the world. Some of the theaters that have produced his plays include Dandelion Theatre in Chicago, Illinois; Truffle Theatre Company in New York; The Artistic Home in Chicago, Illinois; Stage Q in Madison, Wisconsin; Second City in Chicago, Illinois; Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga in Chattanooga, Tennessee; Strawdog Theatre in Chicago, Illinois; Screaming Media Productions in Halifax, England; The Inspirato Festival in Toronto, Canada and Belarusian Dream Theater in Copenhagen, Denmark. In 2010, a production of his short play "Scuffle & Jump" by Fort Point Theatre Channel in Boston, Massachusetts received live musical accompaniment from Peter Tork of The Monkees. He has been published by Dramatic Publishing, Art Age Publications, Next Stage Press and Smith & Kraus, among others.
As a fiction writer, he’s been nominated for the Derringer Award 7 times, winning one in 2008, has been nominated for a Spinetingler Award and in 2004 won the Norumbega Award for his short story collection THE UNDERTOW OF SMALL TOWN DREAMS. He can be seen in the 2008 documentary VINCENT: A LIFE IN COLOR reading one of his haikus.
A collection of his short plays, TINY FLIGHTS OF FANTASY, was taught at Columbia College and is available through Amazon.

Scripts

Alligator Whiskey at the Neon Cypress

by John Weagly

Synopsis

A tourist gets more than she bargained for when she stops in for a quick drink at a bayou roadhouse.

A tourist gets more than she bargained for when she stops in for a quick drink at a bayou roadhouse.

Always Be Fetching

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Two aliens come to Earth to put dogs in designer clothes, but Bailey the Pit Bull only wants them to play fetch.

Two aliens come to Earth to put dogs in designer clothes, but Bailey the Pit Bull only wants them to play fetch.

The Armadillo-Iguana Bacterial Unification

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Two lonely, possibly-poisoned pet owners find exactly what they need: each other.

Two lonely, possibly-poisoned pet owners find exactly what they need: each other.

Ava Takes Up Aviation

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Ava's friends have their hands full when they find her up a tree, in this heartbreak - and cocaine - fueled comedy.

Ava's friends have their hands full when they find her up a tree, in this heartbreak - and cocaine - fueled comedy.

Azzmetta Abbington’s Mistletoe Meatballs - A Short Christmas Play

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Old friends get together for the holidays with a poisonous twist.

Old friends get together for the holidays with a poisonous twist.

Bags of Bones

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Dave doesn't get along with his skeleton. He enlists the help of a stranger to find a cure for his suspicious malady.

Dave doesn't get along with his skeleton. He enlists the help of a stranger to find a cure for his suspicious malady.

Betrayal Among The Grinning Gators

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Louise has done something she shouldn't have with another man. Can Roy see past his rage and forgive her?

Louise has done something she shouldn't have with another man. Can Roy see past his rage and forgive her?

A Bullet for Grandma - A Zombie Play

by John Weagly

Synopsis

In the dark of night during the zombie apocalypse, three friends sit in a graveyard waiting for Grandma to rise from the dead.

In the dark of night during the zombie apocalypse, three friends sit in a graveyard waiting for Grandma to rise from the dead.

Caffeine Cavern

by John Weagly

Synopsis

What was in the night sky in San Francisco all those years ago?

What was in the night sky in San Francisco all those years ago?

Cargo

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Two sailors on a cargo ship off of the Great Barrier Reef question their duty and the nature of curiosity.

Two sailors on a cargo ship off of the Great Barrier Reef question their duty and the nature of curiosity.

Convoy Tony and Convoy Troy Talk About Convoys

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Convoy Tony and Convoy Troy both love big rigs, CB radios and convoys – but do they both love honesty?

Convoy Tony and Convoy Troy both love big rigs, CB radios and convoys – but do they both love honesty?

Dead Dwarf Intermezzo

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Two strangers vie for control of a dead midget.

Two strangers vie for control of a dead midget.

Dr. Goat: Goat Doctor

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Billy and Nina are after something in Dr. Goat's office, and they'll do anything to get their hands on it.

Billy and Nina are after something in Dr. Goat's office, and they'll do anything to get their hands on it.

Down There - A Lovecraftian Comedy

by John Weagly

Synopsis

When Karen accidentally opens a portal to another dimension, she calls the only person she can rely on for help. A Lovecraftian tale of terror.

When Karen accidentally opens a portal to another dimension, she calls the only person she can rely on for help. A Lovecraftian tale of terror.

Fast Food at 4:20 - A Monologue

by John Weagly

Synopsis

A MONOLOGUE. Penelope is hungry, but what tastes good in her mind?

A MONOLOGUE. Penelope is hungry, but what tastes good in her mind?

The First of Spring - A Very Short Dystopia Play

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Agnes & Rutherford enjoy the first day of spring in a Dystopian society.

Agnes & Rutherford enjoy the first day of spring in a Dystopian society.

Frog Head - A Monologue

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Fred dreams of frogs living in the desert.

Fred dreams of frogs living in the desert.

Imperfect Angels

by John Weagly

Synopsis

A short tale of lost love, regret and gorilla arms.

A short tale of lost love, regret and gorilla arms.

Interlude with Two Scream Queens in the Woods - A Short Slasher Comedy

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Marcie and Linda are lost in the woods, a deranged psychopath hot on their heels. Will they escape? Or will slasher cliches be their doom?

Marcie and Linda are lost in the woods, a deranged psychopath hot on their heels. Will they escape? Or will slasher cliches be their doom?

Invisible Lightning - A Monologue

by John Weagly

Synopsis

A MONOLOGUE. Susan tries to get past her religious infirmity.

A MONOLOGUE. Susan tries to get past her religious infirmity.

The Juggler Who Lost His Arms In A Rodeo Fire - A Monologue

by John Weagly

Synopsis

A MONOLOGUE. Lily remembers a rodeo man and the features that made him the love of her life. "The most thoughtful and tender memory monologue about the highs and lows of love."

A MONOLOGUE. Lily remembers a rodeo man and the features that made him the love of her life. "The most thoughtful and tender memory monologue about the highs and lows of love."

Komodo Dragon Heart

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Norman has big plans for Valentine's Day, but a Komodo Dragon has other thoughts.

Norman has big plans for Valentine's Day, but a Komodo Dragon has other thoughts.

The Krampus Slander - A Short Holiday Play

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Krampus needs to replenish his supply of birch rods, but a snooty salesperson stands in the way.

Krampus needs to replenish his supply of birch rods, but a snooty salesperson stands in the way.

A Lady Who Collects Spiders Meets A Gentleman Who Collects Snakes

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Love blooms between a peculiar woman and a misfit man.

Love blooms between a peculiar woman and a misfit man.

Lazy-Day Observations on Feral Hogs

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Feral hogs have wandered into the farmyard and are very close to the children. Will thoughts and quicksand be enough to stop them?

Feral hogs have wandered into the farmyard and are very close to the children. Will thoughts and quicksand be enough to stop them?

Lizard Heat

by John Weagly

Synopsis

In a run-down motel room on the edge of a desolate highway, two broken souls crash into each other. Is change possible, or are we stuck being who we are?

In a run-down motel room on the edge of a desolate highway, two broken souls crash into each other. Is change possible, or are we stuck being who we are?

On the Job for Tommy Two-Toes

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Two lady-thugs wait for their boss to pick up a package.

Two lady-thugs wait for their boss to pick up a package.

Orville and Wilbur Discuss Aerodynamics

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Orville and Wilbur, two brothers, talk about clouds, the meaning of life and edible birds.

Orville and Wilbur, two brothers, talk about clouds, the meaning of life and edible birds.

Oscillating Sasquatch - A Halloween Play

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Tixiebelle-Wren and Calliope-Peach really want to go to a Halloween concert. Unfortunately, the tickets were buried with Cooter-Cain.

Tixiebelle-Wren and Calliope-Peach really want to go to a Halloween concert. Unfortunately, the tickets were buried with Cooter-Cain.

A Pigman Walks Among Us

by John Weagly

Synopsis

A Pigman, his manager and a pizza delivery woman meet in a motel on the edge of nowhere.

A Pigman, his manager and a pizza delivery woman meet in a motel on the edge of nowhere.

Purple Hearts and Missing Femurs - A Short Play About The Absurdity of War

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Two soldiers in a never-ending war, discover a new way to become a hero.

Two soldiers in a never-ending war, discover a new way to become a hero.

A Reason To Rejoice At Coffins-R-Us - A Short Play About Schools Reopening

by John Weagly

Synopsis

There's good news for suppliers of child caskets this fall!

There's good news for suppliers of child caskets this fall!

Reflections of a Friendship on Cedarwood Road

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Thea and Ellie find a vanity being thrown out, but what could possibly be wrong with this nice piece of furniture?

Thea and Ellie find a vanity being thrown out, but what could possibly be wrong with this nice piece of furniture?

Rickshaw Dreams

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Two women discuss dreams and desires while waiting for a rickshaw.

Two women discuss dreams and desires while waiting for a rickshaw.

Seven Short Scenes About A Man And A Sock Monkey

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Conor needs a room-mate. Is a Sock Monkey looking for a place to live a dream come true or a nightmare in cotton?

Conor needs a room-mate. Is a Sock Monkey looking for a place to live a dream come true or a nightmare in cotton?

The Shark Exorcist

by John Weagly

Synopsis

In this tiny bit of nonsense, Father William is summoned to Agatha's home to try to save her from an unfortunate predicament she contracted at the beach.

In this tiny bit of nonsense, Father William is summoned to Agatha's home to try to save her from an unfortunate predicament she contracted at the beach.

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Christmas Goose

by John Weagly

Synopsis

In this family-friendly holiday mystery, Sherlock Holmes is asked to discover the identity of a man who lost his hat and goose in a late-night scuffle. At first, Holmes treats the request as only a mild curiosity, but then the countess of Morcar’s rare and valuable blue carbuncle is found stuffed down the goose’s throat. The pursuit of the thief leads Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson from 221B Baker Street to...

In this family-friendly holiday mystery, Sherlock Holmes is asked to discover the identity of a man who lost his hat and goose in a late-night scuffle. At first, Holmes treats the request as only a mild curiosity, but then the countess of Morcar’s rare and valuable blue carbuncle is found stuffed down the goose’s throat. The pursuit of the thief leads Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson from 221B Baker Street to Covent Garden Market and all over the streets of wintery London.
Co-written with Michael Menendian.

Simian Swing

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Cornell is caught by his new wife, Hopley, sneaking back into his hotel room on his wedding night. Where has he been? What has he been doing? What is he wearing?

Cornell is caught by his new wife, Hopley, sneaking back into his hotel room on his wedding night. Where has he been? What has he been doing? What is he wearing?

Spontaneous Clownbustion

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Two abandoned, out-of-work circus performers try to make sense of a bizarre big-top catastrophe.

Two abandoned, out-of-work circus performers try to make sense of a bizarre big-top catastrophe.

The Squamous Darkness of Cobblestone Lane - A Lovecraftian Steampunk One-Act Comedy

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Arkham, Massachusetts. The late-1800’s. The Age of Steam. Over a three-day period of philandering secrets, a dire prophecy is foretold and comes to pass.

Arkham, Massachusetts. The late-1800’s. The Age of Steam. Over a three-day period of philandering secrets, a dire prophecy is foretold and comes to pass.

Strange Aeons and Free Hot Dogs - A Short Lovecraftian Comedy

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Would you vote for an evil cosmic deity for Alderman of the 14th Ward?

Would you vote for an evil cosmic deity for Alderman of the 14th Ward?

Suitcase Full of Monkey Heads - A Monologue

by John Weagly

Synopsis

A MONOLOGUE. Loretta remembers her lost son while trying to decide on coffee.

A MONOLOGUE. Loretta remembers her lost son while trying to decide on coffee.

Syphilis Steve and the Christmas Miracle - A Short Christmas Play

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Victor has a wonderful surprise for Dianne this holiday season.

Victor has a wonderful surprise for Dianne this holiday season.

The Ticking of Clockwork Hearts - A Steampunk Romantic Comedy

by John Weagly

Synopsis

England. The late-1800’s. The Age of Steam. Gerard and Elisabeth wander through their steampunk lives searching for ever-elusive love. Along the way they cross paths with dirigibles, time travelers, gyromancy, squids, poetry, destruction, magic mushrooms, mad scientists, dynamite-fetishists, and a mechanical man with a cheating heart. Perfect for Fringe Festivals.

England. The late-1800’s. The Age of Steam. Gerard and Elisabeth wander through their steampunk lives searching for ever-elusive love. Along the way they cross paths with dirigibles, time travelers, gyromancy, squids, poetry, destruction, magic mushrooms, mad scientists, dynamite-fetishists, and a mechanical man with a cheating heart. Perfect for Fringe Festivals.

A Touch of Grass - A Monologue

by John Weagly

Synopsis

A MONOLOGUE. Let your feet touch the grass everyday, but don't overdo it.

A MONOLOGUE. Let your feet touch the grass everyday, but don't overdo it.

Two Gentlewomen of Sedona (a short play in iambic pentameter)

by John Weagly

Synopsis

In the Arizona desert, a long-haul truck driver comes to the aid of a lady in distress - but is she too late?

In the Arizona desert, a long-haul truck driver comes to the aid of a lady in distress - but is she too late?

The Unpredictable Horizon - A Very Short Sci-Fi Play

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Stacey and Emma try to make the best out of a bad outer space situation.

Stacey and Emma try to make the best out of a bad outer space situation.

A Well-Governed Shark

by John Weagly

Synopsis

A Mako Shark and a Tiger Shark dispute the sentiments of a beach-front poetry reading.

A Mako Shark and a Tiger Shark dispute the sentiments of a beach-front poetry reading.

Where Do We Go from Here? - A Short Play About Gun Violence

by John Weagly

Synopsis

Sally and Patricia need something to do on a Friday night, but what's safe?

Sally and Patricia need something to do on a Friday night, but what's safe?