Sharon Goldner

Sharon Goldner

Sharon Goldner is this chick who perpetuates the notion that crazy is just a frame of mind. Her writing goal is to make audiences laugh at things they feel guilty for laughing at because she thinks dark humor helps break down barriers, enabling honest discussion. Sharon’s award-winning (and published) plays have been performed in theaters all across the country from Off-Off Broadway to California and many...
Sharon Goldner is this chick who perpetuates the notion that crazy is just a frame of mind. Her writing goal is to make audiences laugh at things they feel guilty for laughing at because she thinks dark humor helps break down barriers, enabling honest discussion. Sharon’s award-winning (and published) plays have been performed in theaters all across the country from Off-Off Broadway to California and many states in-between, as well as in Toronto. Sharon is a Kennedy Center Playwriting Intensive alum, a playwriting fellowship recipient from SheSaidYes! Theatre (Newfoundland), an Ivoryton Theatre Women Playwrights Initiative (CT) alum, and a Nightwood Creatryx Playwright Lab (Toronto) alum. Additionally, her award-winning short stories have been published in literary journals all over the U.S.A, and in England, and she is a two-time Pushcart Prize nominee. Sharon assures audiences that no letters of the alphabet have ever been harmed in the creation of her work.

Plays

  • Piece, a monologue
    Sensory monologue on the moment-by-moment depiction of a robbery in process from the viewpoint of the person being robbed.
  • Testifying (a monologue)
    A young woman, having survived a massive tornado, testifies before the Senate regarding her harrowing experience.
  • Hitler Learns To Paint
    WWII has ended. Hitler did not die; rather, he was caught and is currently being held prisoner while he awaits his worldwide trial in Nuremburg. Some people never change. A very dark comedy.
  • UnChosen
    History is thwarted in this dark comedy. Anne Frank is indeed alive & (seemingly) well. She never wanted to be famous and has been able to live an anonymously "normal life." In her 70s now, her existence has been revealed. Anne Frank mania is everywhere. She has been elevated to superstar status. Meanwhile, her sister, Margot, wrote a diary, too. Nobody cares about that. And Margot is really pissed off.
  • 4/4/68
    The play 4/4/68 revisits the landscape of Baltimore in 1968 and the Holy Week
    Uprisings (the rioting and unrest that rocked the city after the assassination of Dr. Martin
    Luther King, Jr.). The play examines the apathy, the worry, the tragedy, the hope, the
    hopelessness, the fear, the anger, and the fragility of two families: the Dragon family
    who is white, and the Latrell family who is black.
  • Jesse Goes Ballistic & There's Silverware Involved
    Jesse & Casey are a couple.
    Casey wants to uncouple.
    Jesse is not having any of it.
    And if it takes brandishing the silverware as weaponry to keep Casey, then so be it.
  • I Am The House
    Bobby commits suicide, and the inanimate objects from his childhood are having a difficult time dealing with it.
  • Big Angry Dyke
    Anita Bryant, orange growers spokeswoman of the 1970s, got into a lot of trouble, deservedly so, for her ugly vitriol against the gay community. Now, well over 40 years later, she is an old woman in her seventies, angry, bitter, and boozy. One evening she gets visited by the angel Koontz who is in in charge of "shelf life" and it is then that Anita is informed that after she passes, she will be...
    Anita Bryant, orange growers spokeswoman of the 1970s, got into a lot of trouble, deservedly so, for her ugly vitriol against the gay community. Now, well over 40 years later, she is an old woman in her seventies, angry, bitter, and boozy. One evening she gets visited by the angel Koontz who is in in charge of "shelf life" and it is then that Anita is informed that after she passes, she will be reincarnated to live life on Earth again to "get it right," only the next time around it will be as a "big angry dyke."
  • Bazookas
    A woman and her boobs are hanging out one day, talking.
    Seriously.
  • In Love With Bobby
    In elementary school classrooms all over the country, characters like Lisa, Jane, Maxine
    and Garry exist, marked for the duration of their school careers as popular or unpopular.
    Friends Lisa and Maxine reside in the unpopular group, dreaming of what it is like on
    the other side. It doesn’t help that Lisa sits next to popular guy Garry in class, and he
    expects her to deliver his...
    In elementary school classrooms all over the country, characters like Lisa, Jane, Maxine
    and Garry exist, marked for the duration of their school careers as popular or unpopular.
    Friends Lisa and Maxine reside in the unpopular group, dreaming of what it is like on
    the other side. It doesn’t help that Lisa sits next to popular guy Garry in class, and he
    expects her to deliver his notes to girlfriend Jane. But what happens one day when Jane
    breaks up with Garry by a note that Lisa has delivers, and Garry enlists Lisa’s aid in
    trying to get Jane back. Will it propel Lisa to the front lines of the popular group where
    she’ll be able to be with her crush, popular guy Bobby or will it end in disaster as her
    best friend Maxine predicts?!
  • That Heroic Age
    Bob & Henry are twelve year old best friends, and as such, they share everything, including an article Bob finds in his father's girlie magazine called, "Eating Pussy like A Pro."
    Discuss.
  • God As A Young Man
    In the beginning, God was a little unsure of Himself, so he went into therapy to figure things out.
    No, really.
    Man just decided not to write that part in the Bible. Therapy always gets such a bad rap.
  • A Doll's Wife
    Barbie & Ken like you've never seen them!
    Barbie tires of her life with Ken, having met the doll of her dreams, a Generic Barbie, made in China.
  • What Your Therapist Is Thinking When Your Therapist Should be Thinking About You
    Have you ever wondered what is really going through your therapist's head when she appears to be listening to you during your session?
    For the first time ever, we crack open a therapist's head and find out ...
    & suffice it to say, it is not very pretty.
  • Ten Ways To Wear Red Lipstick
    A man & a woman are out on a date, along with their penis & their vagina, respectively.
    As the man & woman engage in conversation, so too, do their private parts.
  • In A Parallel Universe
    What if Helen Keller really could see and hear, and the whole thing about her being blind & deaf was just an incredible hoax?
    In a parallel universe (or in an incredibly bizarro twisted Twilight Zone) perhaps this could be the case.
  • Bedtime Story for the Precocious Child
    Parents Marlene & Bob are trying to put daughter Lulu to bed, but LuLu has other ideas, questioning her parents & all of the "stories" they (and parents through-out the years) have told their children, like the sandman, the stork, santa, the birds & the bees, and a whole host of other euphemisms parents use to tied themselves over before having to tell their kids the truth.
  • Get to the Point
    The rumors of Anne Frank's death have been highly exaggerated.
    (She is interviewed on a television talk show).
  • Down There
    A woman & her vagina are hanging around having a conversation.
  • Bob & Marlene's First Date
    The absolute worst first date is occurring for losers Bob & Marlene, only made worse by Marlene's mother "joining" them (in a matter of speaking) on the date.
  • Mrs. Greenblatt's Place in the Universe
    Marcia is out to a birthday lunch with her elderly mother who reveals to her daughter that she is giddily & gaily gay.
  • The Biography of Saints
    For the longest time it was just Marlene and her daughter Gracie, two fabulous females living life after a bitter divorce, making a new kind of home in a new city, each helping raise the other. They are the proof that mothers and daughters can actually like one another. When Marlene's body puts out the welcome mat for cancer, it becomes the guest that will not leave. Much to Gracie’s dismay, a bed-...
    For the longest time it was just Marlene and her daughter Gracie, two fabulous females living life after a bitter divorce, making a new kind of home in a new city, each helping raise the other. They are the proof that mothers and daughters can actually like one another. When Marlene's body puts out the welcome mat for cancer, it becomes the guest that will not leave. Much to Gracie’s dismay, a bed-ridden Marlene accepts the offer of help from her ex husband’s current wife, who just so happens to be the bitch, correction, harlot, correction, she-devil, no, no, femme fatale, no, person, the person who is the woman who broke up the marriage in the first place.
  • Landing Place
    In a 1970s fifth grade classroom, Sibby SIlverman declares her love for Alan Shapiro. It
    is, of course, doomed from the start because in the hierarchy of popular kids, Alan
    reigns king, and Sibby is non-existent. Being in the throes of love can make a person
    do strange things, and this is no different for ten year old Sibby who chides any adult
    who would be callous enough to dismiss...
    In a 1970s fifth grade classroom, Sibby SIlverman declares her love for Alan Shapiro. It
    is, of course, doomed from the start because in the hierarchy of popular kids, Alan
    reigns king, and Sibby is non-existent. Being in the throes of love can make a person
    do strange things, and this is no different for ten year old Sibby who chides any adult
    who would be callous enough to dismiss her love for Alan as merely a crush ... “our love
    can flatten us out just like yours can you... ”
    In a banquet hall sporting a high school 30 year reunion, Sibby and Alan meet up again,
    and with the popularity field leveled, the two can have an earnest talk about the years
    behind them, and what’s in store for the future. They say people change. Or do they?
  • The Great Vietnamese Bicycle Company
    The Great Vietnamese Bicycle Company takes place in Vietnam 1968. In the middle of nowhere two American GIs are riding high in a “borrowed” company jeep when they cause the accidental death of a Vietnamese rice farmer peddling his bike home ... needless to say, the rice farmer is not too thrilled.
  • Frank Talk
    Synopsis
    Toying with the notion that Anne Frank is indeed alive and well (or seemingly so), ANNE
    FRANK IS ALIVE, IN THERAPY, & DOING THE BEST SHE CAN is a laugh out loud
    dark comedy that delves into what happens after this discovery is made and the worldwide
    frenzy that occurs thereafter.
    The play is constructed in the manner of a short play cycle, leading one to wonder if...
    Synopsis
    Toying with the notion that Anne Frank is indeed alive and well (or seemingly so), ANNE
    FRANK IS ALIVE, IN THERAPY, & DOING THE BEST SHE CAN is a laugh out loud
    dark comedy that delves into what happens after this discovery is made and the worldwide
    frenzy that occurs thereafter.
    The play is constructed in the manner of a short play cycle, leading one to wonder if it is
    a collection of short plays that all stand on their own, each with their own beginning,
    middle and ending ~ or ~ is it indeed a completely unified play where each act draws
    from the previous one, providing us with more story and more information to wrap ourselves
    up in. From Hollywood jumping on the bandwagon and cashing in on the phenomena
    by turning Anne Frank into a zombie-killing superhero (and having an Anne
    Frank action figure toy tie-in with McDonald's Happy Meals); to a precocious child told
    by her not-so-progressive-after-all school that she can not dress up as Anne Frank hiding
    from the Nazis for Halloween; to a gay couple worried about their son's overt "interest"
    in Anne Frank; to a celebrity look alike agency trying to find the perfect Anne because
    the agency owner is convinced that along with his Elvis, Princess Di, Marilyn
    Monroe, and all his other look alike dead celebrities, someone has just got to order
    up an Anne Frank; to THE real Anne Frank, herself, appearing on a TV talk show to
    clear up the rumors about her so-called death, and to state that she never wanted the
    diary to be published in the first place, as it has contributed to ruining her life.
    ANNE FRANK IS ALIVE, IN THERAPY, & DOING THE BEST SHE CAN takes a brazen
    look at society and its treatment of its icons, particularly “child stars” and why the public
    turns on them for doing what we all do: grow up and grow older. It also examines the
    accidental celebrity and the toll it takes on the humanity of its person.
    Tag Line
    The rumors of Anne Frank’s death have been highly exaggerated.