Pete Bakely

Pete Bakely

Pete Bakely is a Kansas City based playwright. His works Jet Propulsion, Drunks and Skillet Tag have seen productions at a variety of theaters. Pete is formerly Playwright-in-Residence at Play On Productions and Whim Productions. He has a MA in Playwriting from UMKC and is a member of the Dramatists Guild.

Plays

  • Skillet Tag
    In a remote cabin near a lake, a group of greeting card company employees are summoned by manager Jeff for a team-building exercise. The group is asked to play Skillet Tag, which is, as the name suggests, a game of tag with skillets for weapons. The game goes on until terrified IT guy Greg accidently kills Jeff with a skillet. This causes Jeff’s unstable assistant Becky to vow revenge and assistant manager Neal...
    In a remote cabin near a lake, a group of greeting card company employees are summoned by manager Jeff for a team-building exercise. The group is asked to play Skillet Tag, which is, as the name suggests, a game of tag with skillets for weapons. The game goes on until terrified IT guy Greg accidently kills Jeff with a skillet. This causes Jeff’s unstable assistant Becky to vow revenge and assistant manager Neal to go into overdrive hiding the body to avoid retaliation from foreign business partners. Discovered by lawyer Katie, Neal is grilled about business dealings. Inebriated Jennifer calls the police, who are willing to write the incident off as misadventure, until Becky murders the officer with a skillet.
    Now taxed with hiding two bodies and avoiding the insane Becky, Neal, Greg, Jennifer and Katie plot to keep themselves out of prison. A surprisingly competent Jennifer has useful ideas, but is accidently shot and killed. Now with three bodies to hide, Greg attempts to cut up them up, but is killed by Becky. Neal and Katie plan to pin the murders on Becky until they accidently decapitate her. Then Neal attempts to pin the murders on Katie and claim he shot her in self defense. He fires the gun at her just as a second police officer shows up. The bullet is deflected by Katie’s skillet and Neal is shot attempting to escape. The play ends with Katie planning to take over the company’s criminal activities.
  • Drunks
    At a small motel some distance from Hollywood, 20 year old associate film producer Kensie gathers screenwriter Don and actors Cindy and Matt to get script approval for a film starting production immediately. As the actors have been dragging their heels, she takes their cell phone and car keys and leaves them to work out their issues by the next morning.
    After some uncomfortable small talk, Matt grabs a...
    At a small motel some distance from Hollywood, 20 year old associate film producer Kensie gathers screenwriter Don and actors Cindy and Matt to get script approval for a film starting production immediately. As the actors have been dragging their heels, she takes their cell phone and car keys and leaves them to work out their issues by the next morning.
    After some uncomfortable small talk, Matt grabs a vast quantity of liquor and drugs he brought, followed by Don and Cindy doing the same. They start a drinking game with pretentiousness, demands or lying bringing shot penalties. And they drink.
    Over the course of the evening they flirt, fight and create mayhem without ever managing to talk about the script. As the evening progresses, they consume a large portion of the booze and drugs and end in sex and vomiting.
    Act two begins with Kensie returning the following afternoon to find Cindy naked and duct-taped to a chair, Don covered with blood and Matt missing. As the studio bears down on Kensie for a report on progress, they have to figure out what happened to Matt so they can begin filming the following day.
  • Jo
    Jo comes home to find her roommate is God, her most hated co-worker is Lucifer and they have manifested to ask her to lead a horrible life in the name of God. The woman drink, play games and show Jo the rewards of heaven and the agony of hell. And even though you have free will, it's not so easy when you are chosen by God. Based on the Book of Jonah.
  • Couples Night
    Dad and Mother kidnap people, then torture and kill them. Turns out the couple they just kidnapped, Honeybunch and Nicky, do the same thing. When Honeybunch escapes, she and Dad play a game of cat and mouse with Nicky and Mother as the pawns. In doing so, they discover they are kindred spirits and peers.
    Five years later, Dad and Honeybunch have a standing date to each kidnap a victim and challenge each...
    Dad and Mother kidnap people, then torture and kill them. Turns out the couple they just kidnapped, Honeybunch and Nicky, do the same thing. When Honeybunch escapes, she and Dad play a game of cat and mouse with Nicky and Mother as the pawns. In doing so, they discover they are kindred spirits and peers.
    Five years later, Dad and Honeybunch have a standing date to each kidnap a victim and challenge each other into more and more creative ways to torture and kill them. But on this night, Honeybunch has to break the news to Dad that she's outgrown their games and want to leave.
  • One Million Monkeys
    Diva scientist Hazel McDermott hijacks everyone's grant money to put one million monkeys into a room with a million Selectrics to see how long it takes them to create the works of Shakespeare. The research is long and torturous until one day the monkeys begin to produce romance novels and action films. This makes the monkeys become wealthy and popular. But as their writing gets better and better, their...
    Diva scientist Hazel McDermott hijacks everyone's grant money to put one million monkeys into a room with a million Selectrics to see how long it takes them to create the works of Shakespeare. The research is long and torturous until one day the monkeys begin to produce romance novels and action films. This makes the monkeys become wealthy and popular. But as their writing gets better and better, their audience drops off, causing depression, anxiety and eventual chaotic tragedy.
  • Charlie's Enormous Cock
    Desperate Elaine comes to her sister's apartment with an object: her husband's large, severed penis. After calling her best friend Bev, the three women decide what to do with it before the police find Elaine.
  • Vicky's Desk
    It's early morning and Shirley and Mason converge on recently-fired Vicky's desk, to loot it for office supplies. The rivalry between Shirley in customer service and Mason in finance is clear and amps up when Mason hints that Shirley's job may be outsourced.
  • Upskirt
    Dennis is a quiet young man. He lives with his over-protective sister Wah-Wau and has one bad habit. He takes covert pictures up women's dresses then practices auto-erotic asphyxia while looking at the pictures.

    In the opening scene he is arrested by the police and given a court appointed therapist, newby Bethany. Bethany, frustrated with her job, moves in with him, over his sister's...
    Dennis is a quiet young man. He lives with his over-protective sister Wah-Wau and has one bad habit. He takes covert pictures up women's dresses then practices auto-erotic asphyxia while looking at the pictures.

    In the opening scene he is arrested by the police and given a court appointed therapist, newby Bethany. Bethany, frustrated with her job, moves in with him, over his sister's objections. She practices a form of extreme therapy, which leads to a sexual relationship with Dennis, while keeping Wah-Wau drugged.
  • Whip It Out
    A bro describes his best friend's inability to get dates because of his odd but beautiful penis. Eventual he tells how the two serviced each other. Because they're bros.