Kathryn Funkhouser

Kathryn Funkhouser

Kathryn Funkhouser is a writer of plays, prose, and lyrics. Plays published by Stage Partners: How (Not) To Be a Wizard (with Jason Pizzarello and Patrick Greene), Will You Be My Nemesis?, Beware the House on Haunted Hill! (with Matthew Byrd), Knock Knock (with Jason Pizzarello), and The Collector (in Rogues’ Gallery). Musical published by Beat by Beat Press: Imagine A Dragon (librettist and co-lyricist)....
Kathryn Funkhouser is a writer of plays, prose, and lyrics. Plays published by Stage Partners: How (Not) To Be a Wizard (with Jason Pizzarello and Patrick Greene), Will You Be My Nemesis?, Beware the House on Haunted Hill! (with Matthew Byrd), Knock Knock (with Jason Pizzarello), and The Collector (in Rogues’ Gallery). Musical published by Beat by Beat Press: Imagine A Dragon (librettist and co-lyricist). Plays published by Playscripts: Careless People: A Great Gatsby, Double Double, Unbreakable Timmy Cratchit (with Tyler Dwiggins), Do You Read Me?, Weekend Warriors (in A Simpler Time), and Badger Poison (in The Alibis). Her articles and essays have appeared in publications such as The Toast, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, The Atlantic, and The Nation. BA Drew University. Member of Athena Writes (2018) and Project Y Theater Writer’s Group (2018-2019). She lives in Brooklyn with a lot of original cast albums.

Plays

  • Careless People: A Great Gatsby by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    7–40
    ·
    Genre: adaptation, dark comedy + 2 more
    ·
    Keyword: gatsby, high school + 5 more
    Genre: adaptation, dark comedy, drama, period
    Keyword: gatsby, high school, teen actors, high school appropriate, responsibility, power, memory
    An ensemble-activated, flexible adaptation of The Great Gatsby with minimal production elements and staging that brings memory into the moment. "I don't know how to convince you to care about other people" is a phrase that comes up on the internet fairly often these days - It is also a pretty good synopsis of The Great Gatsby, as I read it.
    ***
    Gatsby's party is over, but Nick...
    An ensemble-activated, flexible adaptation of The Great Gatsby with minimal production elements and staging that brings memory into the moment. "I don't know how to convince you to care about other people" is a phrase that comes up on the internet fairly often these days - It is also a pretty good synopsis of The Great Gatsby, as I read it.
    ***
    Gatsby's party is over, but Nick Carraway is the one who has to clean up. It's not easy to gather the empty glasses and abandoned shoes when each evokes a memory, and the memories aren't easy to sweep away either - especially not when Jordan Baker remembers them differently. Can't repeat the past? Why, of course you can. Armed only with a few enchanted objects and the glittering words of F. Scott Fitzgerald, a shape-shifting ensemble creates the world of The Great Gatsby in this fiercely theatrical adaptation. Published by Playscripts.
    * SEEKING WORLD PREMIERE.
    - High school edits and competition cuttings available, please contact for more information.
  • Do You Read Me? by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    4–14
    ·
    Genre: comedy, political + 2 more
    ·
    Keyword: zoom, Video Chat + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, political, satire, science fiction
    Keyword: zoom, Video Chat, livestream, students, educational, community theater
    Everyone at NASA thinks that Dr. Weaver's Mars colony is a joke, because it's full of average joes instead of astronauts. Their mission? To grow the first eggplant on Mars. As Dr. Weaver takes reports from the self-appointed experts, disappointed sci-fi fans, and customer service nightmares that inhabit the colony under the leadership of the arrogant Commander, the mission starts to seem impossible....
    Everyone at NASA thinks that Dr. Weaver's Mars colony is a joke, because it's full of average joes instead of astronauts. Their mission? To grow the first eggplant on Mars. As Dr. Weaver takes reports from the self-appointed experts, disappointed sci-fi fans, and customer service nightmares that inhabit the colony under the leadership of the arrogant Commander, the mission starts to seem impossible. But could there be more to the story than they're letting on? Written especially for actors to perform on video chat, DO YOU READ ME? is a space comedy about community.
    Part of the Playscripts Livescreen Theatre Collection
  • Bootstraps by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    5
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: dark comedy, reality tv + 5 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, farce, political, satire
    Keyword: dark comedy, reality tv, contemporary satire, media, Politics, apprenticeship, tours-de-force
    The reality show Bootstraps was cancelled weeks ago, and nobody told the cast. But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to be gained - and after all, chaos is easier to edit. “Everyone is equal. No one is safe.” How many lies are in that tagline? A wickedly fun dark comedy about perception, power, and the stories we tell about ourselves.
  • Double Double by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    12–40
    ·
    Genre: comedy, drama + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: high school, female friendships + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, drama, fantasy, movement/physical, young audiences
    Keyword: high school, female friendships, witches, anxiety, great roles for young adult actors
    It's no wonder Emily can't sleep. She obsesses about awkward interactions in the past, she tries to predict the disasters of the future - and then, of course, there's three immortal witches sabotaging her drama club production of Macbeth so they can escape the mortal realm. You know, life stuff. But when the witches send strange visions to turn Emily and her new classmates against each other, no...
    It's no wonder Emily can't sleep. She obsesses about awkward interactions in the past, she tries to predict the disasters of the future - and then, of course, there's three immortal witches sabotaging her drama club production of Macbeth so they can escape the mortal realm. You know, life stuff. But when the witches send strange visions to turn Emily and her new classmates against each other, no one can predict what happens next. Before the charm's wound up, all will face their fears in this tale of loyalty, anxiety, Skittles, and doom. Published by Playscripts.
  • Unbreakable Timmy Cratchit by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    9–40
    ·
    Genre: comedy, holiday + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: christmas, high school + 6 more
    Genre: comedy, holiday, young audiences
    Keyword: christmas, high school, middle school, Festive, a cappella, teenagers, Christmas Carol, community
    (Written with Tyler Dwiggins.) There are people who are excited about Christmas, and then there's Tiny Tim Cratchit - he's never met a seasonal sweater he didn't love. When he discovers his overworked parents could use some extra cheer this year, the oddball optimist drafts his skeptical sister Belinda into a last-minute quest to make enough money to buy the perfect gifts. The entitled customers...
    (Written with Tyler Dwiggins.) There are people who are excited about Christmas, and then there's Tiny Tim Cratchit - he's never met a seasonal sweater he didn't love. When he discovers his overworked parents could use some extra cheer this year, the oddball optimist drafts his skeptical sister Belinda into a last-minute quest to make enough money to buy the perfect gifts. The entitled customers, pushy elves, and ruthless carolers shopping on Christmas Eve are enough to test the most festive soul, but generosity comes from unlikely places in this galloping, joyful reversal of A Christmas Carol.
  • Help Who's Next by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    3
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: gun control, communication + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, drama, experimental, political
    Keyword: gun control, communication, capitalism, empathy, feminism, coffee
    When a cycle repeats, there are conversations we expect. Would it be the same if we gave the words away - or stole them? An unexpected story of transaction, connection, politics, and empathy.
  • The Bargain by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    3
    ·
    Genre: comedy, fantasy + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: halloween, Fantasy + 2 more
    Genre: comedy, fantasy, parody/spoof, satire, science fiction
    Keyword: halloween, Fantasy, office culture, demons
    While Dan takes pride in his work collecting the souls of humans who made a deal with the devil, his demonic coworkers have had it up to here with his Twilight Zone-esque theatrics. Could a millennial mortal who sold her soul for an affordable one-bedroom in Astoria help an insecure demon get his direction back?
  • Alternative Facts by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    3
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 4 more
    ·
    Keyword: lizard people, kellyanne conway + 2 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, fantasy, horror, political, satire
    Keyword: lizard people, kellyanne conway, cable news, resistance
    As we all know, when a politician's alarming statements hit the cable news chyrons, his spokeswoman goes on TV to set the story straight. Somebody's got to ask the tough questions, after all. Should it really count as murder if it happens to a woman on a boat? Can we know for certain that polar bears even exist outside of Coca-Cola commercials? But just as the beleaguered host is about to surrender...
    As we all know, when a politician's alarming statements hit the cable news chyrons, his spokeswoman goes on TV to set the story straight. Somebody's got to ask the tough questions, after all. Should it really count as murder if it happens to a woman on a boat? Can we know for certain that polar bears even exist outside of Coca-Cola commercials? But just as the beleaguered host is about to surrender her sanity, another scandal breaks - and this one may be harder to sweep under the rug without somebody getting devoured.
  • Jump Scare by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    3
    ·
    Genre: comedy, horror + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: horror movies, method acting + 2 more
    Genre: comedy, horror, satire
    Keyword: horror movies, method acting, halloween, acting
    It's Halloween night and the production team of a horror b-movie only has to get one more shot before they go celebrate. Unfortunately, the floundering lead actress is determined to prove her acting chops and really channel fear. Looks like the director and her shady production assistant will have to think up some ways to scare their perfectionistic star.
  • Accessories by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: adaptation, comedy + 2 more
    ·
    Keyword: metoo, feminism + 3 more
    Genre: adaptation, comedy, dark comedy, drama
    Keyword: metoo, feminism, sexism, workplace, TRIFLES
    When Joe Wright's coworkers learn that he's been fired, speculation runs rampant - especially about why his assistant Minnie is sequestered by HR. The two young women assigned to pack up her desk know enough to keep quiet... at least until they're alone. A sharp take on Trifles for the #MeToo era.
  • We're Not So Different, You and I by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    2–4
    ·
    Genre: comedy
    ·
    Keyword: foes, villains + 4 more
    Genre: comedy
    Keyword: foes, villains, self-help, Job Interview, turning around in chairs in an ominous way, puns
    Evelyn's life is going smoothly. Maybe TOO smoothly. She's decided she needs someone to help keep her on her toes, but not just any old enemy will do - she wants a Personal Nemesis. Today she's interviewing everyone from evil billionaires to supervillains, but only one candidate will truly be a worthy foe, and it's someone she never thought she'd see again.
  • The Sequel by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    5–10
    ·
    Genre: comedy, satire + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: video games, zombies + 2 more
    Genre: comedy, satire, science fiction
    Keyword: video games, zombies, siblings, sexism
    Apocalypse Rising: Armies Of The Undead is advertised to be the most realistic depiction of zombie warfare ever to hit video game consoles - so of course teenage siblings Pete and Lisa can’t wait to play it. But as their avatars, Crazy George and Svetlana, set out to fight the zombie hordes, things start to get a little bit too real. Will Pete and Lisa be brought together by their strange new game or will a...
    Apocalypse Rising: Armies Of The Undead is advertised to be the most realistic depiction of zombie warfare ever to hit video game consoles - so of course teenage siblings Pete and Lisa can’t wait to play it. But as their avatars, Crazy George and Svetlana, set out to fight the zombie hordes, things start to get a little bit too real. Will Pete and Lisa be brought together by their strange new game or will a little honesty prove a dangerous thing?
  • The Pitch by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, fantasy + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: adventure, focus group + 5 more
    Genre: comedy, fantasy, satire
    Keyword: adventure, focus group, quest, heroes, Movies, business, Hollywood
    Things have gone downhill for Lily since she saved the universe. Reduced to working with a jaded studio executive on a screenplay based on her adventures, she's flabbergasted to hear that the truth won't be quite magical enough for certain demographics. Looks like the battle between good and evil's not quite over yet . . .
  • Third Person Limited by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy
    ·
    Keyword: grammar, friendship + 1 more
    Genre: comedy
    Keyword: grammar, friendship, unemployment
    Anne is unemployed, discouraged, and drifting apart from her friends, but she's determined to change her life story - and who has more control than the narrator? But when Anne won't part with the third person even though Julie needs help, they'll have to get creative in order to start speaking the same language.
  • Ghost Story by Kathryn Funkhouser
    Cast: 
    7–20
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 4 more
    ·
    Keyword: ghosts, beach town + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, drama, fable/folktale, fantasy, horror
    Keyword: ghosts, beach town, unrequited love, Fantasy, chorus
    Charlie wants to play it safe. She works at the same dilapidated boardwalk haunted house every summer without ever looking inside, she hangs out with her friend Neal without ever acting on her feelings for him, and she writes elaborate, uncanny stories that she refuses to show to anyone. But when a new girl joins the staff who's determined to change everything, Charlie's fear and yearning threaten to...
    Charlie wants to play it safe. She works at the same dilapidated boardwalk haunted house every summer without ever looking inside, she hangs out with her friend Neal without ever acting on her feelings for him, and she writes elaborate, uncanny stories that she refuses to show to anyone. But when a new girl joins the staff who's determined to change everything, Charlie's fear and yearning threaten to fade her into one of the ghosts she chronicles. At the end of the day, who ends up haunted?