Di Lobontiu

Mo (short for Maria, short for the *Virgin* Mary) likes to hit hard. Kat (short for Ekaterina Gordeeva - oh brother) likes to rhyme. They wind up as volleyball partners. At 10, 13, 16, and in infinity, they wind up as volleyball partners: growing their garden of queer charm, cultivating their bruised volleyball forearms, and resisting their love for each other.

Well, until...

Disgraced Olympic swimmer Ryan L*chte is dying of loneliness, trying to milk attention from his robot wife Deirdre, a Cyclops Michael Ph*lps, and terrifyingly/gorgeously…YOU! Can someone help this man??

A child sketches a drawing of their family with plutonium they found on the street. The child turns their entire family into radioactive goop. The child is thinking: maybe I can finally pursue my art now (they sketch). The child miraculously survives, but is forced to live a series of dwindling half-lives, all connected by the disastrous effects of radiation (and the destabilizing Entity of Art). A failed cult leader, a rat king, a radioactive exposure test dummy, a teaching artist, a drone pilot… as their lives become smaller and smaller and smaller they must confront the dreaded end of the decay chain: stability.

Desperate to escape the straight mainstream, Sal(ly) joins the Rentabutches, a group of butches who rent themselves out for manual labor but are more interested in werking it than in working. Sal tries to find their place within this supposed haven for dykes, navigating between the militant Souls of Every Butch Who Came Before (literally) and the jockstrap-clad, consent-obsessed, content-crazed butches at Rentabutch.

Wouldn’t it be nice if I weren’t the only gay person in my family? I wrote this play so I wouldn’t have to be. This is a mildly to moderately vengeful two-person show in which Diana (a lightly fictionalized version of myself) spills their guts in a series of solo-show-style confessional monologues about being a lesbian Romanian immigrant in America, while their cousin Nelu (a massively fictionalized version of my real cousin) tells the audience his story about being a raspberry farmer in the Transylvanian countryside whose farm is a front for the mafia. Nelu is NOT gay. Except in this show.

It's Christmas. It's Brooklyn. The tens of thousands of roommates are watching Being John Malkovich downstairs. It's goddamn despicable. And Ducky (part duck/part detective) is trying to resist the seasonal urge to jump off of their apartment building and either fly south for the winter, or go splat on the pavement. Is this the year they finally do it?

A solo show based on the Romanian Orthodox Saint Teodora de la Sihla, but BEFORE she became a saint. Back when she was just a young lesbian novitiate trying to strike it holy in 1680’s Romania. Teodora just wants to be holy already so she can be revered by pilgrims and perform over-the-top miracles. In the process she discovers that she’s evil, she likes women’s hips, and she has accidentally poisoned the whole convent.