Zachary Scalzo

Zachary Scalzo (he/they) is a queer writer, translator, and theatremaker. He was the Artist in Residence at UCO’s English department from 2022-2025 and is currently the President of the LP Writer’s Co-Op. They can be found at azachofalltrades.com, on Instagram at @zjscalzo, and on most major podcasting platforms with his co-host Derek on Two-Player Theory.

Zachary Scalzo (he/they) is a queer writer, translator, and theatremaker. He was the Artist in Residence at UCO’s English department from 2022-2025 and is currently the President of the LP Writer’s Co-Op. They can be found at azachofalltrades.com, on Instagram at @zjscalzo, and on most major podcasting platforms with his co-host Derek on Two-Player Theory.

Scripts

Dead Girl, USA

by Zachary Scalzo

Synopsis

Once a sleepy hamlet off I-83, people are flocking to Cherry Grove, CT thanks to the popular podcast “Men are Murder”, whose 213th episode prompted an incarcerated serial killer to confess to the featured cold case. Since then, droves of the self-identified Murder Mavens’ fans have been visiting locations from the podcast episode and buying up tickets for the first-ever “Men are Murder” live show, to be held in...

Once a sleepy hamlet off I-83, people are flocking to Cherry Grove, CT thanks to the popular podcast “Men are Murder”, whose 213th episode prompted an incarcerated serial killer to confess to the featured cold case. Since then, droves of the self-identified Murder Mavens’ fans have been visiting locations from the podcast episode and buying up tickets for the first-ever “Men are Murder” live show, to be held in City Hall. There’s only one problem. Zoey.

While most of her family was relieved to finally have an answer to her sister’s murder, Zoey Foster is unconvinced. The confession seems too easy, the story too pat. But with the city’s income on the rise and her family’s hope to put this all behind them, Zoey also seems to be the only one intent on proving the podcasters wrong. And Zoey, she thinks, might have proof.

Dead Girl, USA is a play about Zoey Foster, an almost-18-year-old with a full ride to college and her dead sister in her bedroom. It’s about loss, money, podcasting, growing up, and everything in between.

Pylades

by Zachary Scalzo

Synopsis

In the theatrical world, few figures loom as large as the Ancient Greek Orestes—cursed, matricidal, heroic. But, despite or because of his fame, Orestes himself often eclipses and confuses what is said to have happened when he returned to Mycenae. Taking inspiration from one of Western theatre’s oldest stories, the Oresteia, this play considers the world around Orestes—his nursemaid, his sisters, and, the focus...

In the theatrical world, few figures loom as large as the Ancient Greek Orestes—cursed, matricidal, heroic. But, despite or because of his fame, Orestes himself often eclipses and confuses what is said to have happened when he returned to Mycenae. Taking inspiration from one of Western theatre’s oldest stories, the Oresteia, this play considers the world around Orestes—his nursemaid, his sisters, and, the focus of the play, his ever-constant and often-silent companion Pylades.

Creating a new Greek tragedy in the Oresteia, this play asks what Pylades’ part was in reinstating Orestes as king and wonders what they both give up in the process. It starts with two boys in Phocis—the kingdom from which Pylades will later be exiled—and ends with to two men bound in a prophecy they helped to create but which threatens to keep them apart. Taking its title from its principal character, Pylades is part-tragedy and part-oracle, exploring the lengths we will go to for justice, for love, and for something that falls in between.

://SHELF_LIFE

by Zachary Scalzo

Synopsis

It’s a future close enough to imagine. A new tech service, Shelf Life, promises to take every piece of information you have on a loved one and load it into an AI. The resulting companion is something between immortality and a voice from the grave. The technology is new, the price high, but you can see this technology for yourself if you work for Quality Control. The catch? To maintain impartiality, you must...

It’s a future close enough to imagine. A new tech service, Shelf Life, promises to take every piece of information you have on a loved one and load it into an AI. The resulting companion is something between immortality and a voice from the grave. The technology is new, the price high, but you can see this technology for yourself if you work for Quality Control. The catch? To maintain impartiality, you must never use the program yourself. ://SHELF_LIFE follows Luc, QC’s lead trainer who is currently undergoing a Human Resources tribunal. He’s broken the rules for Aunt April, the maiden aunt who lived at the fringes of the family. And now, he has one hour to appeal to a disciplinary committee to save himself—and his creation.

Taking Shelter

by Zachary Scalzo

Synopsis

When Marcus is rejected by Brett mid-hookup, he decides to go home to shake it off. That is, until their phones blare with an emergency notification. There’s a tornado in the area and they must seek immediate shelter in a room without windows. Their only option? Brett’s bathroom.

When Marcus is rejected by Brett mid-hookup, he decides to go home to shake it off. That is, until their phones blare with an emergency notification. There’s a tornado in the area and they must seek immediate shelter in a room without windows. Their only option? Brett’s bathroom.

Prince Edward Island

by Zachary Scalzo

Synopsis

Jonas is about to move to Canada, if he can get through brunch with Emily and a cute Waiter.

Jonas is about to move to Canada, if he can get through brunch with Emily and a cute Waiter.

The Toast

by Zachary Scalzo

Synopsis

Five people deliver the first toasts at four weddings... despite their reservations.

Five people deliver the first toasts at four weddings... despite their reservations.