F.J. Hartland

F. J. Hartland holds an MFA in Playwriting and was a Shubert Fellow and the winner of the Bud Yorkin Playwriting Award, He made his New York City playwriting debut at the age of 23 when the Ensemble Studio Theatre workshopped his play A Piano Player With Sad Brown Eyes. Twice, he was the winner of the Samuel French OOB Short Play Festival. Other NYC venues where his work has been seen include: Emerging Artists Theatre, GayFestNYC, the 13th Street Theatre, Lovecreek Productions, Quaigh Theatre, and Lincoln Center Library Theatre. In 2019, F.J.’s short play Tina was named Best Play in the Equity Library Theatre’s Summer Short Play Festival. His ten-minute play What the Puck? Was a finalist for the Heideman Award at the Actors Theatre of Louisville. Twice he has won Best Play at the KNOW...

F. J. Hartland holds an MFA in Playwriting and was a Shubert Fellow and the winner of the Bud Yorkin Playwriting Award, He made his New York City playwriting debut at the age of 23 when the Ensemble Studio Theatre workshopped his play A Piano Player With Sad Brown Eyes. Twice, he was the winner of the Samuel French OOB Short Play Festival. Other NYC venues where his work has been seen include: Emerging Artists Theatre, GayFestNYC, the 13th Street Theatre, Lovecreek Productions, Quaigh Theatre, and Lincoln Center Library Theatre. In 2019, F.J.’s short play Tina was named Best Play in the Equity Library Theatre’s Summer Short Play Festival. His ten-minute play What the Puck? Was a finalist for the Heideman Award at the Actors Theatre of Louisville. Twice he has won Best Play at the KNOW Theatre's Festival (Binghamton NY),and twice won Best Play at the Juice Box International Play Festival at the Lake Shore Center for the Arts (Westfield NY).
Samuel French (now Concord), United Stages, Original Works, Next Stage Press, and The Louisville Review have published his plays.
F.J.'s plays have been seen across the United States as well as in Canada, Mexico, Ireland, England, Italy, Ukraine, Australia, and Korea.
He is the recipient of a Playwriting Fellowship from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts. His full-length play Games of the Mind won Throughline Theatre’s New Play Competition in Pittsburgh. Another play Waiting for Fair was chosen for the inaugural season of Pittsburgh Playhouse/Point Park University’s Virtual New Play Festival. F.J. has made a record-setting eighteen appearances in the Pittsburgh New Works Festival, winning Best Play four times. Other Pittsburgh venues where his work has been produced include: Duquesne University, Bricolage, South Park Theatre, Future Ten, Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre, First Night Pittsburgh, Cup-A-Jo, Pyramid Productions to name a few.
In addition to being a playwright, F.J. is an experienced stage director (with more than 100 productions to his credit) and a professional actor (Actors Equity Association member since 1991).

Scripts

A BLANKET OF STARS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Two elderly women drag lawn chairs to the middle of a field late at night to watch a meteor shower.

Two elderly women drag lawn chairs to the middle of a field late at night to watch a meteor shower.

A CUP OF KINDNESS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

It's New Year's Eve. A gay man brings his best and straight friend (who is recently divorced) to a party. As midnight approaches secrets are revealed.

It's New Year's Eve. A gay man brings his best and straight friend (who is recently divorced) to a party. As midnight approaches secrets are revealed.

A SMALL ACTOR

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Despite what the old theatre adage says, there are small roles--and they're played by small actors.

Despite what the old theatre adage says, there are small roles--and they're played by small actors.

ACROSS A CROWDED ROOM

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

To cross the room to meet a stranger or not to cross the room--that is the question.

To cross the room to meet a stranger or not to cross the room--that is the question.

AMY's QUESTION

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

An older gay man has to face some truths about himself when a little girl asks him a question.

An older gay man has to face some truths about himself when a little girl asks him a question.

baby...maybe...

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

When Jonah and his partner Giancarlo decide to adopt a baby, naturally, their friends host a baby shower. But between the games and the cake, something happens that will change all of their lives forever. Sometimes, it DOES take a village.

When Jonah and his partner Giancarlo decide to adopt a baby, naturally, their friends host a baby shower. But between the games and the cake, something happens that will change all of their lives forever. Sometimes, it DOES take a village.

BARS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

A young woman falls in love with a man serving time in prison--for murdering her brother.

A young woman falls in love with a man serving time in prison--for murdering her brother.

BE A GUEST

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

In this modern day homage to YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU, Abigail, a college student, can't wait to meet her boyfriend's family. Be careful what you wish for! The sister carries around the taxidermied body of the family pet (and makes it talk). The mother is obsessed with planning her funeral. The father does historical re-enactments (of First Ladies). The maid speaks no English. Then there's the mysterious...

In this modern day homage to YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU, Abigail, a college student, can't wait to meet her boyfriend's family. Be careful what you wish for! The sister carries around the taxidermied body of the family pet (and makes it talk). The mother is obsessed with planning her funeral. The father does historical re-enactments (of First Ladies). The maid speaks no English. Then there's the mysterious uncle who keeps escaping from the attic!

BOOTSIE

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

W.C. Fields warned performers--never work with dogs or children. This monologue shows why.

W.C. Fields warned performers--never work with dogs or children. This monologue shows why.

BUNIONS AND REGRET

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

It's Lacey's last day working as a server before she heads off to college. Her friend Doris, an older server, has a send-off waiting for her.

It's Lacey's last day working as a server before she heads off to college. Her friend Doris, an older server, has a send-off waiting for her.

CAKE WITHOUT FROSTING

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Beth is busy cleaning up from her birthday party when an uninvited guest arrives--with a gift that will change her life forever...

Beth is busy cleaning up from her birthday party when an uninvited guest arrives--with a gift that will change her life forever...

CAPE COD EVENING

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Inspired by a painting by Edward Hopper, CAPE COD EVENING explored what is to become of a recently divorced couple--and their dog.

Inspired by a painting by Edward Hopper, CAPE COD EVENING explored what is to become of a recently divorced couple--and their dog.

CEMETERY PLOT

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

After the death of his mother, a young man is convinced he was not a good son. Then one day while visiting his mother's grave, a mysterious stranger might just change his mind.

After the death of his mother, a young man is convinced he was not a good son. Then one day while visiting his mother's grave, a mysterious stranger might just change his mind.

CHEAT SHEETS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

In this farce, WILLA, a college professor, is having the worst day of her life. Her job is in jeopardy; her office mate is annoying; her daughter is dating a loser; and she just caught a student cheating. But never fear! Her best friend LUWANNA arrives to save the day. But LUWANNA's plan backfires in the worse way and the two women must find a way out--all while juggling three laundry bags with very...

In this farce, WILLA, a college professor, is having the worst day of her life. Her job is in jeopardy; her office mate is annoying; her daughter is dating a loser; and she just caught a student cheating. But never fear! Her best friend LUWANNA arrives to save the day. But LUWANNA's plan backfires in the worse way and the two women must find a way out--all while juggling three laundry bags with very different contents!

CLEAN SHEETS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Noah, a writer, returns home from vacation--and finds someone from his past waiting for him. Should he follow a familiar path--or take a new one?

Noah, a writer, returns home from vacation--and finds someone from his past waiting for him. Should he follow a familiar path--or take a new one?

CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Being a man is tough. Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to cope!

Being a man is tough. Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to cope!

CUTTING THE STRINGS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

There's nothing stronger than a mother's love.

There's nothing stronger than a mother's love.

FAT AND FICTION

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Ludlow and his mother have very different recollections of his lifelong "battle of the bulge."

Ludlow and his mother have very different recollections of his lifelong "battle of the bulge."

FOR THE RECORD...

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

While leaving the theatre one night, an actor is confronted from someone from his past.

While leaving the theatre one night, an actor is confronted from someone from his past.

FUNERAL IN THE RAIN

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Two actors play all the mourners at the funeral of an ordinary woman who touched the lives of all of those around her.

Two actors play all the mourners at the funeral of an ordinary woman who touched the lives of all of those around her.

GAMES OF THE MIND

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Ten years ago, the scholastic quiz team at Our Mother of Perpetual Sorrows won the championship. Now at a class reunion, truths surface about what really happened! Secrets are revealed and relationships challenged for the students involved. The play is told in scenes from the present and flashbacks to the past.

Ten years ago, the scholastic quiz team at Our Mother of Perpetual Sorrows won the championship. Now at a class reunion, truths surface about what really happened! Secrets are revealed and relationships challenged for the students involved. The play is told in scenes from the present and flashbacks to the past.

GERONIMO!

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

To jump off the roof or NOT to jump off the roof. That is the question for two young brothers (played by adult actors).

To jump off the roof or NOT to jump off the roof. That is the question for two young brothers (played by adult actors).

GOO GOO EYES

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Sometimes love just needs a friendly push from a stranger.

Sometimes love just needs a friendly push from a stranger.

GUMPTION

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Two gay men (one younger, one older) are strangers. But they become friends when their paths cross under unusual circumstances.

Two gay men (one younger, one older) are strangers. But they become friends when their paths cross under unusual circumstances.

HELL NO, DOLLY!

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

When Anna Mae goes to the Antiques Roadshow, she ends up with more than an appraisal on her item. She gets an appraisal on her life!

When Anna Mae goes to the Antiques Roadshow, she ends up with more than an appraisal on her item. She gets an appraisal on her life!

HRDZA

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

It's 1983 in the rustbelt of Western Pennsylvania. The mill has closed and Marek, the hard-working son of immigrants, has lost the only job he has ever held. His unemployment affects his relationship with his wife, his children, his mother, and even his friendships at the New Deal Bar. As his life spins out of control, can Marek find a way to save his dignity and his family?

It's 1983 in the rustbelt of Western Pennsylvania. The mill has closed and Marek, the hard-working son of immigrants, has lost the only job he has ever held. His unemployment affects his relationship with his wife, his children, his mother, and even his friendships at the New Deal Bar. As his life spins out of control, can Marek find a way to save his dignity and his family?

I DO?

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

It's a wedding day! In a waiting room in the venue, the Best Man, the Groom, the Bride, as well as the parents of the Bride and Groom all pass through--revealing secrets and facing truths!

It's a wedding day! In a waiting room in the venue, the Best Man, the Groom, the Bride, as well as the parents of the Bride and Groom all pass through--revealing secrets and facing truths!

IF YOU SAY SO

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

When Cara tells her retired husband Nils that he needs to find a hobby, she never dreamed he'd choose THIS!

When Cara tells her retired husband Nils that he needs to find a hobby, she never dreamed he'd choose THIS!

INDIGENT

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Three actors play nine characters. People become homeless for many reasons. But what becomes of them when they die? Do the homeless have "death with dignity"?

Three actors play nine characters. People become homeless for many reasons. But what becomes of them when they die? Do the homeless have "death with dignity"?

LIKE MOM USED TO SAY

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Doug is holding a terrible secret. Can Ross get him to "come clean" in this matter of life and death?

Doug is holding a terrible secret. Can Ross get him to "come clean" in this matter of life and death?

LIVES IN QUESTION

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Life presents us with so many questions--and provides so few answers.

Life presents us with so many questions--and provides so few answers.

LOSING LOUISE

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Neal comes home to find his wife gone and his house completely emptied. It's a good thing he has his kindly neighbor Jane to lean on--or is it?

Neal comes home to find his wife gone and his house completely emptied. It's a good thing he has his kindly neighbor Jane to lean on--or is it?

MARRAKESH EXPRESS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

An old man remembers his time at Woodstock.

An old man remembers his time at Woodstock.

MOM BOMB

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Life doesn't come with a manual. It comes with a mother.

Life doesn't come with a manual. It comes with a mother.

MOOSE

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Lovers may leave--but food is always there!

Lovers may leave--but food is always there!

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Armed with binoculars and a walkie-talkie, a young soldier is alone on a reconnaissance mission--or is he?

Armed with binoculars and a walkie-talkie, a young soldier is alone on a reconnaissance mission--or is he?

MOTHER TONGUE

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Matt, a young gay artist living in NYC, finds himself torn between the two most important people in his life. There's his mother Bertie, a struggling stand-up comic, who can't stop hating someone who is dead (Matt's dad). Then there's Matt's mysterious new (and much older) lover Cale, who can't stop loving someone who is dead. As Matt navigates these two very different relationships, Bertie's stand-up...

Matt, a young gay artist living in NYC, finds himself torn between the two most important people in his life. There's his mother Bertie, a struggling stand-up comic, who can't stop hating someone who is dead (Matt's dad). Then there's Matt's mysterious new (and much older) lover Cale, who can't stop loving someone who is dead. As Matt navigates these two very different relationships, Bertie's stand-up routines serve to reflect and comment on the action.

MOTHERS AND OTHER STRANGERS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

A young man makes his daily stop to check on his sickly, elderly mother--but it is anything but a routine visit!

A young man makes his daily stop to check on his sickly, elderly mother--but it is anything but a routine visit!

NANA'S HOME MOVIES

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

When a Landon inherits his grandmother’s old movie projector and the accompanying home movies, he plans on selling them…until…

When a Landon inherits his grandmother’s old movie projector and the accompanying home movies, he plans on selling them…until…

NOT ENOUGH

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

A couple signs an important document...but is it enough?

A couple signs an important document...but is it enough?

ONIONS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Aaron has important news to share with his mother--but will he ever be able to make her understand?

Aaron has important news to share with his mother--but will he ever be able to make her understand?

OOPS!

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Two college students discover that waiting for results is the hardest part.

Two college students discover that waiting for results is the hardest part.

PACKING UP

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

It becomes time to pack up and go--when you want to or not!

It becomes time to pack up and go--when you want to or not!

POSTCARDS FROM A DEAD DOG

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

A man and his mother find an unusual way to communicate.

A man and his mother find an unusual way to communicate.

RELEASE

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Peter learns that sometimes letting go is harder than holding on.

Peter learns that sometimes letting go is harder than holding on.

RIMSHOTS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

The Court Jester and the King's Chancellor find themselves in the dungeon--all because of one bad joke!

The Court Jester and the King's Chancellor find themselves in the dungeon--all because of one bad joke!

ROADKILL

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Two paths of two strangers cross in the woods late at night. Could one of them be a serial killer?

Two paths of two strangers cross in the woods late at night. Could one of them be a serial killer?

SALT WATER

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

An older woman. A younger man. Love. Loss. The sea.

An older woman. A younger man. Love. Loss. The sea.

SANTA SECRET

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

A lonely man makes a last ditch attempt to find love.

A lonely man makes a last ditch attempt to find love.

SCATTERED

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Three friends go into the woods to scatter the ashes of a friend who was special to each of them. Through a series of flashbacks, we find out why he was important to each of them. They learned that letting go is a painful--but sometimes necessary--choice.

Three friends go into the woods to scatter the ashes of a friend who was special to each of them. Through a series of flashbacks, we find out why he was important to each of them. They learned that letting go is a painful--but sometimes necessary--choice.

SECOND STORY SUNLIGHT

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

A middle-aged woman on vacation comes to the conclusion that her past is out of her control. Inspired by a painting by Edward Hopper.

A middle-aged woman on vacation comes to the conclusion that her past is out of her control. Inspired by a painting by Edward Hopper.

SHAVING LESSONS AND HALF-WINDSOR KNOTS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

While dressing one morning, a man contemplates all the life lessons his father taught him.

While dressing one morning, a man contemplates all the life lessons his father taught him.

SHUFFLE, BALL CHANGE...AND DIE!

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

It's "Dateline" meets "Dance Moms" in this black comedy/mystery. Which parent is willing to go to any lengths to secure one child the "Star Turn" dance in the Spring Recital at the Dance-tastic Dance Studio in rural Iowa? The play combines video with live stage action as the fictional TV documentary program "My Eye on Crime" attempts to explore the scandal!

It's "Dateline" meets "Dance Moms" in this black comedy/mystery. Which parent is willing to go to any lengths to secure one child the "Star Turn" dance in the Spring Recital at the Dance-tastic Dance Studio in rural Iowa? The play combines video with live stage action as the fictional TV documentary program "My Eye on Crime" attempts to explore the scandal!

SMOKE AND FIRE

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Hillary has been bullied all his life and no adult seems to know or care. Finally, he can't take it anymore and takes matters into his own hands.

Hillary has been bullied all his life and no adult seems to know or care. Finally, he can't take it anymore and takes matters into his own hands.

SUMMER SHOWER

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

When their brother gets engaged, Maggie and Latitia are forced into planning a bridal shower for their future sister-in-law. All they know about her is that her favorite color is plaid. A meddling mother, a favorite aunt and family secrets are all part of the action. And then the bride-to-be arrives (with surprises of her own)!

When their brother gets engaged, Maggie and Latitia are forced into planning a bridal shower for their future sister-in-law. All they know about her is that her favorite color is plaid. A meddling mother, a favorite aunt and family secrets are all part of the action. And then the bride-to-be arrives (with surprises of her own)!

SWATCHES

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Should the kitchen be yellow? Blue? Green? Deciding what color to paint the kitchen has serious (and comic) ramifications for couple Wynn and Anson.

Should the kitchen be yellow? Blue? Green? Deciding what color to paint the kitchen has serious (and comic) ramifications for couple Wynn and Anson.

TECHNICALLY SPEAKING

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

On a pier (or is it a dock), two men watch ships (or are they boats) pass by as their relationship comes to an end.

On a pier (or is it a dock), two men watch ships (or are they boats) pass by as their relationship comes to an end.

TED

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Some one-night stands never seem to end. Right, Tad? Thad? Tab?

Some one-night stands never seem to end. Right, Tad? Thad? Tab?

THAT IS THE QUESTION

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Every question has an answer, right? Or does it only lead to another question?

Every question has an answer, right? Or does it only lead to another question?

THANK YOU, MR. OTIS!

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

In an elevator in a big office building, a married couple share a special moment.

In an elevator in a big office building, a married couple share a special moment.

THE GAME OF LIFE

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Three workers at a call center play games to pass the time. But can their games have a serious consequence?

Three workers at a call center play games to pass the time. But can their games have a serious consequence?

THE GREEN DRESS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Rae Ann wants to wear the green dress to the prom, but her mother Wanda says NO.

Rae Ann wants to wear the green dress to the prom, but her mother Wanda says NO.

THE MONSTER

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

A little boy has a monster hiding under his bed. But who is the monster?

A little boy has a monster hiding under his bed. But who is the monster?

THE PERHAPS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

When his mother abandons him, a lonely little boy is sent to live with his grandmother, who watches old movies all day and night. Then he discovers an imaginary friend--film legend Bette Davis.

When his mother abandons him, a lonely little boy is sent to live with his grandmother, who watches old movies all day and night. Then he discovers an imaginary friend--film legend Bette Davis.

THE PICKLE JOKE

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Late at night, a lonely man finds some comfort from his voice-activated device.

Late at night, a lonely man finds some comfort from his voice-activated device.

TINA

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Junior high school might have been a long time ago, but the memories still linger--especially if you ever met someone like Tina.

Junior high school might have been a long time ago, but the memories still linger--especially if you ever met someone like Tina.

TROLL

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

On a warm summer evening in his garden, Gilbert, an older gay man, reflects on--not only the changes in his own life--but changes in the LGBT community, from the days when homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder to the legalization of same-sex marriage.

On a warm summer evening in his garden, Gilbert, an older gay man, reflects on--not only the changes in his own life--but changes in the LGBT community, from the days when homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder to the legalization of same-sex marriage.

VERMILLION SUNSET

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

When Della and Perry, two elementary school teachers, meet during recess duty, there is an immediate connection. But are a love of old movies, trivia, and reruns of "Perry Mason" enough to build a relationship?

When Della and Perry, two elementary school teachers, meet during recess duty, there is an immediate connection. But are a love of old movies, trivia, and reruns of "Perry Mason" enough to build a relationship?

WANING GIBBOUS

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

While waiting for his perennially late partner Garrett to show up for dinner out at a restaurant, Gilbert drinks too many martinis. When Garrett finally arrives, Gilbert shares with him the decision he has reached.

While waiting for his perennially late partner Garrett to show up for dinner out at a restaurant, Gilbert drinks too many martinis. When Garrett finally arrives, Gilbert shares with him the decision he has reached.

WHAT THE PUCK?

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

Sitting on a steel beam high above the city, two construction workers share lunch--and a very strange dream about hockey.

Sitting on a steel beam high above the city, two construction workers share lunch--and a very strange dream about hockey.

WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

After a strenuous match on the court, Marge has an encounter with a very odd player in the clubhouse.

After a strenuous match on the court, Marge has an encounter with a very odd player in the clubhouse.

WORDS TO THAT EFFECT

by F.J. Hartland

Synopsis

A boy's best friend is his mother--especially when that boy is a drag queen.

A boy's best friend is his mother--especially when that boy is a drag queen.