Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Kelleen Conway Blanchard is a Seattle based playwright that focuses on funny, female centered plays.
Her work has been seen/produced at Annex Theatre, Macha Monkey, Balagan Theatre, Live Girls!, Family Affair, Weird and Awesome, 12 Minutes Max, 14/48, Spin the Bottle and as part of FringeACT.
Outside of Seattle, her plays have been part of Eight Tens at Eight in Santa Cruz, the 2nd
Annual Festival of New Short Plays in Belfast, Maine and Perishable Theatre’s Women’s
Playwriting Festival.

Kelleen Conway Blanchard is a Seattle based playwright that focuses on funny, female centered plays.
Her work has been seen/produced at Annex Theatre, Macha Monkey, Balagan Theatre, Live Girls!, Family Affair, Weird and Awesome, 12 Minutes Max, 14/48, Spin the Bottle and as part of FringeACT.
Outside of Seattle, her plays have been part of Eight Tens at Eight in Santa Cruz, the 2nd
Annual Festival of New Short Plays in Belfast, Maine and Perishable Theatre’s Women’s
Playwriting Festival.

Scripts

Last Stop On Lilac

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

1960s Hollywood is a technicolor land of fever dreams. Sweet faced Bunny Le Blanc brought her bright lights to the big city and now she’s dead. Last seen on luxurious Lilac Lane, home to glamorous stars and faded legends. Someone here on this street murdered Bunny but who?
The sexy young starlet, Tina Topps holding her ambition like a knife? The swinging bachelors in the pink bungalow? Surely those two roomies...

1960s Hollywood is a technicolor land of fever dreams. Sweet faced Bunny Le Blanc brought her bright lights to the big city and now she’s dead. Last seen on luxurious Lilac Lane, home to glamorous stars and faded legends. Someone here on this street murdered Bunny but who?
The sexy young starlet, Tina Topps holding her ambition like a knife? The swinging bachelors in the pink bungalow? Surely those two roomies don’t have any secrets. Maybe, the legendary Veranda Mink saw something from her satin chaise. Or maybe she was sleeping off her afternoon martinis and Dilaudid. Detective Larry Bruce is on the case,when he gets around to it. But, what’s another exsanguinated starlet in this deadly town? Good thing Ace Girl reporter Kimberly Prentice is sticking her fingers in this pie. Something nasty is cooking in there and it most likely involves sacrifices, blood cults and the devil himself.

Kittens in a Cage

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

Synopsis—Kittens in a Cage tells Junie’s story, a good girl gone bad, sent to the pen by a
buncha rats. From the knife fights in the showers to riots in the prison mess hall, Junie
has to toughen up fast. Lucky for Junie, she’s got Vickie. A tough love story about bad
broads that can’t get no breaks.

Synopsis—Kittens in a Cage tells Junie’s story, a good girl gone bad, sent to the pen by a
buncha rats. From the knife fights in the showers to riots in the prison mess hall, Junie
has to toughen up fast. Lucky for Junie, she’s got Vickie. A tough love story about bad
broads that can’t get no breaks.

The Neverborn

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

After murdering the Matron at the Starling Home for Feeble Minded children, two orphaned sisters set out to find their–probably not dead–mother while being pursued by a tormented detective and a vengeful haunted baby painting. A magically creepy tale.

After murdering the Matron at the Starling Home for Feeble Minded children, two orphaned sisters set out to find their–probably not dead–mother while being pursued by a tormented detective and a vengeful haunted baby painting. A magically creepy tale.

Blood Countess

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

The life of Countess Elizabeth Bathory- the historical noblewoman accused of bathing in young girl’s blood so she could live forever young becomes a supernatural tale both creepy and creepily funny in the hands of the playwright of “Kittens in a Cage” & “The Underneath”.

Kelleen Conway Blanchard lends her unique voice to the story of Elizabeth Bathory, the Hungarian Countess fabled to be one of the inspirations...

The life of Countess Elizabeth Bathory- the historical noblewoman accused of bathing in young girl’s blood so she could live forever young becomes a supernatural tale both creepy and creepily funny in the hands of the playwright of “Kittens in a Cage” & “The Underneath”.

Kelleen Conway Blanchard lends her unique voice to the story of Elizabeth Bathory, the Hungarian Countess fabled to be one of the inspirations behind vampire lore. Bathory is rumored to have killed anywhere from 60 to 600 young woman and bathed in their blood to preserve her youth.

This fictional account follows the countess from her happy marriage to the fierce warrior Ferenc to her conviction and death bricked up within the walls of her castle. Along the way it explores her possible motivations for the sadistic murders of which she stands accused.

Landing solidly on the dark side of dark comedy, Blood Countess still employs plenty of Kelleen Conway Blanchard’s trademark humor and linguistic gymnastics. This historical horror story is filled with dead birds, headless soldiers, eel pies, and pailfulls of blood.

Parlour Tricks

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

Two Victorian swindlers peddle Spiritualism to upper class mourners. Using séances which include table rapping, table tipping, automatic writing, levitation, and other “communications” with departed spirits; these hucksters make their fortune pretending to re-unite wealthy people with their long lost loved ones. Things get complicated and horrible and down right bloody when they accidentally raise a demon. Will...

Two Victorian swindlers peddle Spiritualism to upper class mourners. Using séances which include table rapping, table tipping, automatic writing, levitation, and other “communications” with departed spirits; these hucksters make their fortune pretending to re-unite wealthy people with their long lost loved ones. Things get complicated and horrible and down right bloody when they accidentally raise a demon. Will they defeat the demon before it brings forth a legion of seven-headed snake monsters to swallow humanity? Maybe.
Cast Ages: 6-9th grade (12-15 year olds)

Hearts are Monsters

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

“Hearts Are Monsters, a loose riff on Hamlet, has a style that hovers somewhere between
John Waters, Daniel Waters (Heathers), and Jack Hill (Switchblade
Sisters, Foxy Brown), but Kelleen Conway Blanchard’s world-premiere
script bristles with dense, dirty intelligence, and the jokes come
thick and fast. – The Stranger

“Hearts Are Monsters, a loose riff on Hamlet, has a style that hovers somewhere between
John Waters, Daniel Waters (Heathers), and Jack Hill (Switchblade
Sisters, Foxy Brown), but Kelleen Conway Blanchard’s world-premiere
script bristles with dense, dirty intelligence, and the jokes come
thick and fast. – The Stranger

Small Town

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

America. Somewhere in the middle. The Ledbetters are a typical family – if "typical" includes a mother, Ruby, with a beehive hairdo, who chain-smokes through her tracheotomy-hole; her one-eyed daughter, Lucinda, former "pork queen of two counties", who wrestles alligators for fun; and her son, Stu Lionel, who – well, let's just say he's super nice, if a bit slow. But, when 17 mailmen go missing, at the same...

America. Somewhere in the middle. The Ledbetters are a typical family – if "typical" includes a mother, Ruby, with a beehive hairdo, who chain-smokes through her tracheotomy-hole; her one-eyed daughter, Lucinda, former "pork queen of two counties", who wrestles alligators for fun; and her son, Stu Lionel, who – well, let's just say he's super nice, if a bit slow. But, when 17 mailmen go missing, at the same time the Sheriff comes a-courting, things are liable to get a little complicated. Love can be kind of funny that way.

The Underneath

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

Something monstrous is bubbling up at the new waterpark. Something icky is making Tina, misunderstood girl genius, uneasy—her little sister Winnie has a piece of tentacle in a jar that hisses, her mom Denise is taking too many pills, and the local Sheriff can’t bake enough crumb cakes to make himself feel better about the body parts washing up on the shore. And just what does the fry cook at Salty’s Sea Palace...

Something monstrous is bubbling up at the new waterpark. Something icky is making Tina, misunderstood girl genius, uneasy—her little sister Winnie has a piece of tentacle in a jar that hisses, her mom Denise is taking too many pills, and the local Sheriff can’t bake enough crumb cakes to make himself feel better about the body parts washing up on the shore. And just what does the fry cook at Salty’s Sea Palace have in his pants? Welcome to the world of The Underneath.

Joan

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

A darlky funny play about Joan of Arc.

A darlky funny play about Joan of Arc.

Daddy

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

A creepy family horror play.

A creepy family horror play.

Crocodiles

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

Absurdist children's talent show

Absurdist children's talent show

Pink Elelephants

by Kelleen Conway Blanchard

Synopsis

A tender teenage coming of age play.

A tender teenage coming of age play.