ALL BARK, NO BITE

by Kara Emily Krantz

Full-Length: Charlotte and Eugene live a quiet, no-nonsense lifestyle surrounded by sudoku and argyle. Robert and Bella are boisterous and messy and ridiculously in love. Then there's the neighbor, Suzanne, who basically doesn't know what's going on, but definitely has something to say about it.

Sure, relationships can be exciting! They can also be confusing, unexpected, and expose us to profound emotional...

Full-Length: Charlotte and Eugene live a quiet, no-nonsense lifestyle surrounded by sudoku and argyle. Robert and Bella are boisterous and messy and ridiculously in love. Then there's the neighbor, Suzanne, who basically doesn't know what's going on, but definitely has something to say about it.

Sure, relationships can be exciting! They can also be confusing, unexpected, and expose us to profound emotional risk. However, relationships are almost always worth exploring, and if we’re willing to be vulnerable, can fill up the empty or wounded spaces in our hearts.

And if that doesn’t work? Well, get a dog.

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ALL BARK, NO BITE

Recommended by

  • JeAnna Wisher: ALL BARK, NO BITE by Kara Emily Krantz
    “

    I had the privilege of acting in this play and we had raves from our audiences. This play is so fun and really family friendly. A good example of how crazy relationships can still teach us something and turn out alright in the end.

    I had the privilege of acting in this play and we had raves from our audiences. This play is so fun and really family friendly. A good example of how crazy relationships can still teach us something and turn out alright in the end.

    ”
  • Tom Moran: ALL BARK, NO BITE by Kara Emily Krantz
    “

    A sweet, charming romp that succeeds on the basis of witty character humor underlying a richly realized conceit. The human story is compelling, but it's the dynamic between the two dogs that really pushes "All Bark, No Bite" over the top: Eugene's aloof intellectualism is consistently hilarious (and reminds me more than a little of my own dog) while Bella perfectly encapsulates the flighty charm of the younger canine set. My only disappointment is in knowing what the schtick is before reading, and thus not getting the chance to figure out Eugene's identity for myself.

    A sweet, charming romp that succeeds on the basis of witty character humor underlying a richly realized conceit. The human story is compelling, but it's the dynamic between the two dogs that really pushes "All Bark, No Bite" over the top: Eugene's aloof intellectualism is consistently hilarious (and reminds me more than a little of my own dog) while Bella perfectly encapsulates the flighty charm of the younger canine set. My only disappointment is in knowing what the schtick is before reading, and thus not getting the chance to figure out Eugene's identity for myself.

    ”
  • Rachael Carnes: ALL BARK, NO BITE by Kara Emily Krantz
    “

    When a Zoom meeting is hosted by someone in Nashville, and the author's outside of Boston and you've got cast members in Seoul and points between - You're hosting a virtual reading in the face of Covid-19! And this delightful play delivers laughs and love - endearing humans aplenty - and DOGS. Talking dogs. Clever, creative, cute-as-a-button DOGS. I am 15/15 here for this play, and so grateful for the distraction. An entertaining romp, animated with effervescence. Pure fun.

    When a Zoom meeting is hosted by someone in Nashville, and the author's outside of Boston and you've got cast members in Seoul and points between - You're hosting a virtual reading in the face of Covid-19! And this delightful play delivers laughs and love - endearing humans aplenty - and DOGS. Talking dogs. Clever, creative, cute-as-a-button DOGS. I am 15/15 here for this play, and so grateful for the distraction. An entertaining romp, animated with effervescence. Pure fun.

    ”
View all 10 recommendations

Character Information

  • Robert
    Male, 20-55; A tolerably good guy, he enjoys his life and has an enduringly upbeat attitude. He’s in love with Charlotte, as well as his new rescue dog, Bella.
    20-55
    Male
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s,
      30s,
      40s,
      50s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Male
  • Bella
    Female, canine (Maltese), any age (preferably younger); happy, loves attention, and could charm the lolli off a pop.
    18-40
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      Teens,
      20s,
      30s,
      40s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Female
  • Suzanne
    Any gender, any sex, 30-80. Charlotte's neighbor: nosy, a bit abrasive, and in the midst of emotional/physical transition; cares greatly for Charlotte. Borderline alcoholic. Not a dog lover.
    30-80
    Female-identifying
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s,
      30s,
      40s,
      50s,
      60s,
      70s+
  • Eugene
    Male, Canine (unspecified breed), any age (preferably older); superior, intelligent, particular, sarcastic with a dry wit.
    20s-90s
    Male
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s,
      30s,
      40s,
      50s,
      60s,
      70s+
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Male
  • Charlotte
    Female, 20-45 (of child-bearing age); kind, hard- working, intellectual. She has a gentle, patient nature with particular and nervous tendencies.
    20-45
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s,
      30s,
      40s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Female

Development History

  • Workshop, Becoming More Productions, 2016
  • Reading, Becoming More Productions, 2015

Production History

  • Community Theater, Early Bird Dinner Theater, Clearwater, FL, 2021
  • Community Theater, Gypsy Theatre Guild, Kalispell, Montana, 2020
  • Community Theater, Bell Tower Theater, Dubuque, Iowa, 2019
  • Community Theater, Calliope Productions, Boylston, MA, 2019