The Next Time Portnoy Sneezed by Sam Heyman

TEN MINUTE: On this day, Portnoy awoke with a start. What would happen to Portnoy on this day was something no one could have foreseen. It all started going wrong when he found the man hiding behind his curtain.

Written for the 2022 Playwrights Thriving Secret Santa Title Swap

Updated Draft Uploaded 1/20/24
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The Next Time Portnoy Sneezed

Recommended by

  • James Perry:
    27 Jun. 2024
    “ Who doesn’t love a meta-theatrical play with minimal staging requirements? Heyman has created a unique and entertaining story that effectively blends humor with existential dread. ”
  • Christopher Plumridge:
    16 Jan. 2023
    “ This is a clever concept, protagonist meets their narrator, I wish I had thought of it! Portnoy wakes up from a nightmare straight into another, at least a very strange dream. Who is this intruder, how does he know so much, why does he want him to sneeze? Portnoys reaction to his narrator is hilarious in places, other times he's naturally very worried. I love this play! ”
  • Morey Norkin:
    15 Jan. 2023
    “ What an interesting and entertaining way to examine the relationship between narrator and protagonist. When the narrator is quite literally unveiled, we are left to wonder whose story is being told. Any writer who has struggled to make a character conform to their expectations (all?) will readily identify with this story. This would be a pleasure to see on stage! ”
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Character Information

  • Portnoy
    30s-40s
    The Protagonist
    Can be played by:
    • Age: 
      30s, 40s, 50s
    • Race/Ethnicity: 
      Any race/ethnicity
    • Gender: 
      Male
  • Carl
    The Narrator
    Can be played by:
    • Age: 
      Any adult age
    • Race/Ethnicity: 
      Any race/ethnicity
    • Gender: 
      Male, Non-binary