Webster's Bitch (Full-Length)

FULL LENGTH: When their Editor-in-Chief gets caught using some unexpected profanity, the employees of Webster's Dictionary find themselves at the center of an internet uprising over gender and obscenity in the age of social media. As office politics collide with ambition, morality, and lexicography, the future of the English language hangs in the balance. A play about vulgar words and the people who define them.
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Webster's Bitch (Full-Length)

Recommended by

  • Faith de Savigné:
    31 May. 2022
    I am grateful to Webster’s Bitch for introducing me to the work of lexicographers as they try to modernize their profession while still being stuck in the everyday work place struggles of seeking proper pay and notice. Fun and fast-paced, it shows how easy it is for words to get out of hand in our over-connected world of communication.
  • Nick Malakhow:
    30 Sep. 2021
    A spectacular, witty, fast-moving, and incisive play about language, gender, the wage gap, and the big-little battles of everyday office life. Gwen is such a fully fleshed out character with an incredibly dynamic journey--and every other character in this wonderful ensemble piece is just as human and rounded as well. The propulsive movement of the play never lets up as well and Bircher balances tension and comedy wonderfully. I'd love to see this fully realized onstage!
  • Kate Busselle:
    28 Feb. 2021
    I am OBSESSED with this play. As a feminist word nerd, this play ticked all the boxes and tickled me to my core. Fantastic female characters. The dialogue is sharp, fast, and hilarious. Absolutely going on my must-direct bucket list!

Character Information

  • GWEN
    A lexicographer at Webster's Dictionary. She craves stability and revels in the harmless drudgery of her profession. When she is in her element, debating and defending words and definitions, she is passionate, proactive, and incisive. Her entire identity is hopelessly intertwined with her job, and she is always taking on more responsibilities as the number of employees at Webster’s continues to dwindle.
    Gwen's younger sister. An energetic, tenacious, bleeding-heart Zillennial who has never quite figured out when or how to keep her mouth shut. Even in a room full of dictionary writers, Ellie is just as smart as anyone else, and would never let you assume otherwise. She thrives on chaos, but is confident in herself with a spectacular, quick wit.
  • NICK
    An accomplished lexicographer with an academic background. His overall philosophy on defining differs from Gwen’s, which puts them at a distrustful distance from one another. He is the quiet, benevolent office gossip, though he’d deny ever holding that role and hates to be at the center of the drama.
    The Senior Editor and Frank’s right-hand woman. Academic, discerning, and somewhat socially awkward, she expects excellence from herself and everyone around her. Joyce is a giant in her field, teaching high-level graduate linguistics and writing scholarly papers about the minutiae of lexicography in addition to her job at Webster’s. Despite her reverence for the dictionary, the traditions and workplace culture have not left her unscathed.
    The Editor-in-Chief. Charismatic and buoyant, the kind of man who can charm the paper off the walls. An ambitious, forward-thinking, and sometimes manipulative company man, he has dedicated his life to the institution and understands his place in its legacy. But, as he finds himself in an unflattering situation, he defaults to self-preservation above all.

Development History

Production History


Woodward/Newman Award
Seven Devils Playwrights Conference