Webster's Bitch (Full-Length)

by Jacqueline Bircher

FULL LENGTH: When their Editor-in-Chief gets caught using some unexpected profanity, the employees of Webster's Dictionary find themselves at the center of an internet uprising over gender and obscenity in the age of social media. As office politics collide with ambition, morality, and lexicography, the future of the English language hangs in the balance. A play about vulgar words and the people who define them.

FULL LENGTH: When their Editor-in-Chief gets caught using some unexpected profanity, the employees of Webster's Dictionary find themselves at the center of an internet uprising over gender and obscenity in the age of social media. As office politics collide with ambition, morality, and lexicography, the future of the English language hangs in the balance. A play about vulgar words and the people who define them.

  • Inquire About Rights
  • Recommend
  • Download
  • Save to Reading List

Webster's Bitch (Full-Length)

Recommended by

  • Donna Hoke: Webster's Bitch (Full-Length) by Jacqueline Bircher
    “

    Fantastic! Smart, fast-moving, funny. A play that's about everyday office stuff and so, so much more. Simple sets, complex characters, and an inside look at the way a word can change everything in today's world. Loved it!

    Fantastic! Smart, fast-moving, funny. A play that's about everyday office stuff and so, so much more. Simple sets, complex characters, and an inside look at the way a word can change everything in today's world. Loved it!

    ”
  • Gilbert Girion: Webster's Bitch (Full-Length) by Jacqueline Bircher
    “

    This is a terrific play. What starts out as light, funny banter slowly but surely turns out to be loaded with landmines, where words are dangerous and often meant to kill. I felt myself pulled in a dozen different directions, siding with this or that character. The back and forth war of words are riveting, often nail biting. We're never sure how this is going to finally turn out. Lucky for us Gwen, our moral compass, returns for that very satisfying ending.

    This is a terrific play. What starts out as light, funny banter slowly but surely turns out to be loaded with landmines, where words are dangerous and often meant to kill. I felt myself pulled in a dozen different directions, siding with this or that character. The back and forth war of words are riveting, often nail biting. We're never sure how this is going to finally turn out. Lucky for us Gwen, our moral compass, returns for that very satisfying ending.

    ”
  • Faith de Savigné: Webster's Bitch (Full-Length) by Jacqueline Bircher
    “

    I am grateful to Webster’s Bitch for introducing me to the work of lexicographers as they try to modernize their profession while still being stuck in the everyday work place struggles of seeking proper pay and notice. Fun and fast-paced, it shows how easy it is for words to get out of hand in our over-connected world of communication.

    I am grateful to Webster’s Bitch for introducing me to the work of lexicographers as they try to modernize their profession while still being stuck in the everyday work place struggles of seeking proper pay and notice. Fun and fast-paced, it shows how easy it is for words to get out of hand in our over-connected world of communication.

    ”
View all 9 recommendations

Character Information

  • GWEN
    A lexicographer at Webster's Dictionary. She craves stability and revels in the harmless drudgery of her profession. When she is in her element, debating and defending words and definitions, she is passionate, proactive, and incisive. Her entire identity is hopelessly intertwined with her job, and she is always taking on more responsibilities as the number of employees at Webster’s continues to dwindle.
    30s
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      30s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Female
  • ELLIE
    Gwen's younger sister. An energetic, tenacious, bleeding-heart Zillennial who has never quite figured out when or how to keep her mouth shut. Even in a room full of dictionary writers, Ellie is just as smart as anyone else, and would never let you assume otherwise. She thrives on chaos, but is confident in herself with a spectacular, quick wit.
    20s
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      20s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Female
  • NICK
    An accomplished lexicographer with an academic background. His overall philosophy on defining differs from Gwen’s, which puts them at a distrustful distance from one another. He is the quiet, benevolent office gossip, though he’d deny ever holding that role and hates to be at the center of the drama.
    30s
    Male
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      30s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Male
  • JOYCE
    The Senior Editor and Frank’s right-hand woman. Academic, discerning, and somewhat socially awkward, she expects excellence from herself and everyone around her. Joyce is a giant in her field, teaching high-level graduate linguistics and writing scholarly papers about the minutiae of lexicography in addition to her job at Webster’s. Despite her reverence for the dictionary, the traditions and workplace culture have not left her unscathed.
    50s/60s
    Female
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      50s,
      60s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Female
  • FRANK
    The Editor-in-Chief. Charismatic and buoyant, the kind of man who can charm the paper off the walls. An ambitious, forward-thinking, and sometimes manipulative company man, he has dedicated his life to the institution and understands his place in its legacy. But, as he finds himself in an unflattering situation, he defaults to self-preservation above all.
    50s/60s
    Male
    Can be played by:
    • Actor Age
      50s,
      60s
    • Actor Gender Identity
      Male

Development History

Production History

Awards

  • Woodward/Newman Award
    Winner
    2023
  • Seven Devils Playwrights Conference
    Finalist
    2021