Terry Baum

Terry Baum is a slightly world-renowned lesbian playwright. Critics have compared her to Woody Allen, Bea Arthur, Eve Arden, Spalding Gray, Lily Tomlin, Hunter Thompson, Norman Mailer, and Godzilla – but never in the same review.

Four of Baum's plays have been published, produced all over the world, and translated into French, Dutch, Italian, Spanish and Swedish. DOS LESBOS, A PLAY BY, FOR & ABOUT PERVERTS, (1981, with Carolyn Myers) inspired the first anthology of lesbian plays (PLACES, PLEASE 1985), and offended the Pope during World Pride 2000 in Rome.

Her most recent play, HICK: A LOVE STORY, THE ROMANCE OF LORENA HICKOK & ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, was chosen a Fringe Fave at the 2015 New York International Fringe Festival and held over for the Fringe Encore Series. A revival of...

Terry Baum is a slightly world-renowned lesbian playwright. Critics have compared her to Woody Allen, Bea Arthur, Eve Arden, Spalding Gray, Lily Tomlin, Hunter Thompson, Norman Mailer, and Godzilla – but never in the same review.

Four of Baum's plays have been published, produced all over the world, and translated into French, Dutch, Italian, Spanish and Swedish. DOS LESBOS, A PLAY BY, FOR & ABOUT PERVERTS, (1981, with Carolyn Myers) inspired the first anthology of lesbian plays (PLACES, PLEASE 1985), and offended the Pope during World Pride 2000 in Rome.

Her most recent play, HICK: A LOVE STORY, THE ROMANCE OF LORENA HICKOK & ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, was chosen a Fringe Fave at the 2015 New York International Fringe Festival and held over for the Fringe Encore Series. A revival of AWAITING THE PODIATRIST (with songs by Scrumbly Koldewyn and David Hyman) was chosen Best of the 2016 San Francisco Fringe Festival.

Baum has toured internationally as a solo performer, most recently in South Africa and Cuba. As a member of the duo Crackpot Crones, she and Carolyn Myers toured their lesbian feminist sketch comedy and improvisation in Mexico in February and March 2016. This was a project of Lilith Theater, as was HICK.

Baum was the Green candidate for U.S. Congress in 2004 and ran for Mayor of San Francisco in 2011. She is a member of the Dramatists Guild.

Scripts

MIKVAH

by Terry Baum

Synopsis

Time: 1905 // Place: Bielsk, a small Jewish village in Poland // Theme: Women’s Rage Against The Patriarchy.

Twenty-year-old Rachel arrives at the ritual bathhouse -- the mikvah -- for the first time to purify herself in the mikvah’s sacred waters before she is married. Chava, the mikvah attendant, greets her warmly and introduces her to the strict rituals around the immersion that every married...

Time: 1905 // Place: Bielsk, a small Jewish village in Poland // Theme: Women’s Rage Against The Patriarchy.

Twenty-year-old Rachel arrives at the ritual bathhouse -- the mikvah -- for the first time to purify herself in the mikvah’s sacred waters before she is married. Chava, the mikvah attendant, greets her warmly and introduces her to the strict rituals around the immersion that every married Orthodox woman must do every month. Chava, 35, is illiterate, clumsy and softhearted – a bear of a woman, as she describes herself. The two feel a bond, as Chava’s mother was the healer who gave herbs to Rachel’s mother during her pregnancy to help her keep her baby. Sadly, Rachel’s mother died in childbirth. Rachel was raised by a single parent, her scholarly and adoring father. He educated her far beyond what was customary for the girls of Bielsk.

Rachel is happy with her father and has no desire to be married to the rich merchant who is captivated by her beauty. Once married, she refuses to become the submissive wife that Reb Gottlieb demands. Rachel turns to her doting father for help, but he does nothing. He tells Rachel she belongs to her husband now. Rachel is devastated. Her beloved Papa has betrayed her and goes to Chava for comfort. In order to give herself a reason to come to the mikvah every day, Rachel decides to teach Chava to read. She brings one of her childhood books, a children’s geography of the world, to the mikvah. Reb Gottlieb, enraged when Rachel insists on continuing her studies, throws out all of her beloved books.

At the mikvah, Chava tells Rachel about her mother, who Rachel never knew and about whom her father refuses to speak. Rachel feels closer and closer to Chava. She admires Chava’s generosity – always giving food to Schlomo, the beggar, even when Chava sometimes has very little to eat herself. Rachel, who has never been interested in men, falls in love with Chava and wants a physical relationship with her. Chava resists at first, but then succumbs. Rachel starts coming daily to the mikvah, supposedly for Chava’s reading lessons. Rachel rushes in one day, very upset; the Rabbi’s wife looked at her as if she knew about the affair. Chava assures her that the Rebbitsen is a good friend and there’s no reason to worry – and reveals that, the Rebbitsen was once “more than a friend.” Rachel is at first crushed that Chava has had a previous love. But then she rejoices when she realizes their love affair will be protected from exposure by the powerful Rebbitsen, who basically runs Bielsk.

Rachel enters the mikvah in pain. Reb Gottlieb has punched her in the stomach with all his might, infuriated that she doesn’t want to become pregnant. Chava, outraged, grabs a knife to go and kill Rachel’s husband right then, but Rachel calms her down. They discuss the possibility of Rachel getting pregnant – which is her duty as a wife. Besides her hatred for her husband, Rachel dreads pregnancy because her mother died in childbirth. Chava, who has always wanted a child, assures Rachel that she faces little risk compared to her very fragile and sickly mother. Chava dreams of Rachel having a baby, even imagining it as “their” baby. Rachel mocks her delusion. Rachel’s dream is to leave the village entirely. Her life at home is a nightmare. But Chava feels bound to the mikvah, where she found safety and a home after her mother disappeared.

Chava is in a panic when Rachel arrives at the mikvah. Schlomo the beggar has observed the two lovers embracing through a hole he has cut in the wall to peep at the mikvah activities. He is threatening to tell Rachel’s husband unless he gets a sizeable amount of money. Rachel reassures Chava that she has access to suffient funds to pay off Schlomo and rushes off to get the money. In the next scene, the two are returning from meeting Schlomo. Besides money, Schlomo demanded to have sex with Rachel. He attempted to rape her. Chava, in a rage, killed him. Chava is distraught that she killed her friend, although she did it to protect her love. Rachel assures her that she’s grateful for Chava’s protection. She reassures Chava that no one will miss Schlomo or find the body in the deep ravine where they left it. Rachel again tries to convince Chava to leave Bielsk and flee with her to the big city, Kovno. But Chava still cannot imagine living anywhere but in the back room of the mikvah: “I am only Chava when I am here.”

It is the middle of the night. Rachel pounds on the door to wake Chava up. Her husband hit her again in the stomach. But this time, Rachel knew she was pregnant. She was furious that he might have injured the baby who she now thinks of as hers and Chava’s. She gave Reb Gottlieb an overdose of a sleeping potion in his nightly glass of milk, and he has died. Finally, Chava realizes that they must flee to the big city. If they stay, Rachel will be arrested and perhaps even executed. Chava must organize their immediate departure because Rachel is exhausted and overwhelmed by what she has done. She packs a few clothes and the well-used geography book. With Rachel leaning on her for physical support, Chava bids an emotional goodby to the birch trees outside the mikvah door, the trees that she has loved and tended for twenty years. They exit together to their new life.

Mikvah

by Terry Baum

Synopsis

Time: 1905
Place: Bielsk, a small Jewish village in Poland
Theme: Women’s rage against the patriarchy.

Twenty-year-old Rachel arrives at the ritual bathhouse -- the mikvah -- for the first time to purify herself in the mikvah’s sacred waters before she is married. Chava, the mikvah attendant, greets her warmly and introduces her to the strict rituals around the immersion that every married Orthodox...

Time: 1905
Place: Bielsk, a small Jewish village in Poland
Theme: Women’s rage against the patriarchy.

Twenty-year-old Rachel arrives at the ritual bathhouse -- the mikvah -- for the first time to purify herself in the mikvah’s sacred waters before she is married. Chava, the mikvah attendant, greets her warmly and introduces her to the strict rituals around the immersion that every married Orthodox woman must do every month. Chava, 35, is illiterate, clumsy and softhearted – a bear of a woman, as she describes herself. The two feel a bond, as Chava’s mother was the healer who gave herbs to Rachel’s mother during her pregnancy to help her keep her baby. Sadly, Rachel’s mother died in childbirth. Rachel was raised by a single parent, her scholarly and adoring father. He educated her far beyond what was customary for the girls of Bielsk.

Rachel is happy with her father and has no desire to be married to the rich merchant who is captivated by her beauty. Once married, she refuses to become the submissive wife that Reb Gottlieb demands. Rachel turns to her doting father for help, but he does nothing. He tells Rachel she belongs to her husband now. Rachel is devastated. Her beloved Papa has betrayed her and goes to Chava for comfort. In order to give herself a reason to come to the mikvah every day, Rachel decides to teach Chava to read. She brings one of her childhood books, a children’s geography of the world, to the mikvah. Reb Gottlieb, enraged when Rachel insists on continuing her studies, throws out all of her beloved books.

At the mikvah, Chava tells Rachel about her mother, who Rachel never knew, and about whom her father refuses to speak. Rachel feels closer and closer to Chava. She admires Chava’s generosity – always giving food to Schlomo, the beggar, even when Chava sometimes has very little to eat herself. Rachel, who has never been interested in men, falls in love with Chava and wants a physical relationship with her. Chava resists at first, but then succumbs. Rachel starts coming daily to the mikvah, supposedly for Chava’s reading lessons. Rachel rushes in one day, very upset; the Rabbi’s wife looked at her as if she knew about the affair. Chava assures her that the Rebbitsen is a good friend and there’s no reason to worry – and reveals that, the Rebbitsen was once “more than a friend.” Rachel is at first crushed that Chava has had a previous love. But then she rejoices when she realizes their love affair will be protected from exposure by the powerful Rebbitsen, who basically runs Bielsk.
Rachel enters the mikvah in pain. Reb Gottlieb has punched her in the stomach with all his might, infuriated that she doesn’t want to become pregnant. Chava, outraged, grabs a knife to go and kill Rachel’s husband right then, but Rachel calms her down. They discuss the possibility of Rachel getting pregnant – which is her duty as a wife. Besides her hatred for her husband, Rachel dreads pregnancy because her mother died in childbirth. Chava, who has always wanted a child, assures Rachel that she faces little risk compared to her very fragile and sickly mother. Chava dreams of Rachel having a baby, even imagining it as “their” baby. Rachel mocks her delusion. Rachel’s dream is to leave the village entirely. Her life at home is a nightmare. But Chava feels bound to the mikvah, where she found safety and a home after her mother disappeared.

Chava is in a panic when Rachel arrives at the mikvah. Schlomo the beggar has observed the two lovers embracing through a hole he has cut in the wall to peep at the mikvah activities. He is threatening to tell Rachel’s husband unless he gets a sizeable amount of money. Rachel reassures Chava that she has access to sufficient funds to pay off Schlomo and rushes off to get the money. In the next scene, the two are returning from meeting Schlomo. Besides money, Schlomo demanded to have sex with Rachel. He attempted to rape her. Chava, in a rage, killed him. Chava is distraught that she killed her friend, although she did it to protect her love. Rachel assures her that she’s grateful for Chava’s protection. She reassures Chava that no one will miss Schlomo or find the body in the deep ravine where they left it. Rachel again tries to convince Chava to leave Bielsk and flee with her to the big city, Kovno. But Chava still cannot imagine living anywhere but in the back room of the mikvah: “I am only Chava when I am here.”

It is the middle of the night. Rachel pounds on the door to wake Chava up. Her husband hit her again in the stomach. But this time, Rachel knew she was pregnant. She was furious that he might have injured the baby who she now thinks of as hers and Chava’s. She gave Reb Gottlieb an overdose of a sleeping potion in his nightly glass of milk, and he has died. Finally, Chava realizes that they must flee to the big city. If they stay, Rachel will be arrested and perhaps even executed. Chava must organize their immediate departure because Rachel is exhausted and overwhelmed by what she has done. She packs a few clothes and the well-used geography book. With Rachel leaning on her for physical support, Chava bids an emotional goodby to the birch trees outside the mikvah door, the trees that she has loved and tended for twenty years. They exit together to their new life.

Waiting for the Podiatrist

by Terry Baum

Synopsis

Songs! Puppets! Inner Torment! A Near-Life Experience Brought to You by Modern Medicine!
This play can be performed by two actors and two puppets, or four actors. Musical accompaniment can be on tape or supplied by a live keyboard player who can also play the Nurse.
Alexandria, a middle-aged lesbian is caught between her comatose father and her terminally irritating mother. Should Mom and Daughter pull the...

Songs! Puppets! Inner Torment! A Near-Life Experience Brought to You by Modern Medicine!
This play can be performed by two actors and two puppets, or four actors. Musical accompaniment can be on tape or supplied by a live keyboard player who can also play the Nurse.
Alexandria, a middle-aged lesbian is caught between her comatose father and her terminally irritating mother. Should Mom and Daughter pull the plug on Dad? if not, who will cut his monstrous toenails? Alex, who lacks the skill? The Nurse, who fears to break the rules? Does anyone care in Intensive Care? Will Alex move to L.A. for Mom, or will she prevail in her selfish attempts to escape the quicksand of family obligations? Terry Baum delves deep in pondering these questions -- the very ones she faced when her own father lay comatose in UCLA Hospital. Songs by Scrumbly Koldewyn of Cockettes fame and David Hyman.

HICK: A Love Story

by Terry Baum

Synopsis

BASED ON ELEANOR ROOSEVELT'S LETTERS TO LORENA HICKOK! (with permission of the Roosevelt estate)
When Eleanor Roosevelt became First Lady in 1933, she had a lesbian lover -- Lorena Hickok, the most famous woman journalist of her day. 2336 letters, from the patrician First Lady to the charming hard-living butch reporter, document their intense and passionate relationship. Hick not only loved and supported Mrs...

BASED ON ELEANOR ROOSEVELT'S LETTERS TO LORENA HICKOK! (with permission of the Roosevelt estate)
When Eleanor Roosevelt became First Lady in 1933, she had a lesbian lover -- Lorena Hickok, the most famous woman journalist of her day. 2336 letters, from the patrician First Lady to the charming hard-living butch reporter, document their intense and passionate relationship. Hick not only loved and supported Mrs. Roosevelt, she also taught her how to use the media to publicize her ideas, enabling Mrs. Roosevelt to become the most powerful First Lady in history. Internationally acclaimed solo performer Terry Baum tells this amazing story, using quotes from the letters.