A.J. Ditty

A.J. Ditty is a queer actor/writer/slash-mark enthusiast currently living in Brooklyn. NYC: The Adventures of Bungo Calamity: Apocalypse Clown (The Tank), B.B.'s Inferno (The PIT), Magellanica (Access Theatre), RIP (The Secret Theater), Rubella: A Ghost Story, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Dragon and Calamity's End (The Flea), and How the Great Grapefruit Danced in the Moonlight (The Lee Strasberg Institute). Outside NYC: The Bøyg (Theatre Kapow). Winner of the 46th Samuel French OOB Short Play Festival for his play "All Things Considered, It Was Probably the Most Productive Meeting the Escondido Unified School District PTA Ever Had..." Developed plays with Pipeline Theatre Company's PlayLab and The Road Theatre's Under Construction 6.

A.J. Ditty is a queer actor/writer/slash-mark enthusiast currently living in Brooklyn. NYC: The Adventures of Bungo Calamity: Apocalypse Clown (The Tank), B.B.'s Inferno (The PIT), Magellanica (Access Theatre), RIP (The Secret Theater), Rubella: A Ghost Story, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Dragon and Calamity's End (The Flea), and How the Great Grapefruit Danced in the Moonlight (The Lee Strasberg Institute). Outside NYC: The Bøyg (Theatre Kapow). Winner of the 46th Samuel French OOB Short Play Festival for his play "All Things Considered, It Was Probably the Most Productive Meeting the Escondido Unified School District PTA Ever Had..." Developed plays with Pipeline Theatre Company's PlayLab and The Road Theatre's Under Construction 6.

Scripts

The Empty Ocean, or, The YouTube Play

by A.J. Ditty

Synopsis

Hey, what’s up subscribers??? Crazy what’s been going on with V’s channel, right? Like, his best friend and long-time collaborator David just left YouTube for good without, like, ANY warning. Something’s off there, fam, I know it. And now they’ve brought on this new girl, Dalia something???, who I hear used to write for The Experiment, yeah, that HBO show about the clones or the aliens or whatever. But now they...

Hey, what’s up subscribers??? Crazy what’s been going on with V’s channel, right? Like, his best friend and long-time collaborator David just left YouTube for good without, like, ANY warning. Something’s off there, fam, I know it. And now they’ve brought on this new girl, Dalia something???, who I hear used to write for The Experiment, yeah, that HBO show about the clones or the aliens or whatever. But now they’re talking about “a new era for the channel” where they’re gonna start making “art”? or something? and I’m just like: whatever happened to the glory days of V and David just, like, blowing up cars with bazookas? Why is David vague-posting about some shady stuff V got up to in the early days of the channel? Why do I feel this emptiness inside of me, this roiling, echoing churn of impossible loneliness that threatens to consume my every waking thought? haHA Don’t forget to smash that like button. Please. Please like me. Please somebody like me. Anybody please please please please pl01se pl10ase p0101ase p01101000 01100101 01101100 01110000 00100000 01101101 01100101.

The Adventures of Bungo Calamity: Apocalypse Clown

by A.J. Ditty

Synopsis

Bungo Calamity, a weary clown in a weary world, must make his way across the post-apocalyptic landscape of America twenty years after the Great Nuclear Whoopsie wiped out most of mankind in order to return to his wife and son in Ithaca, New York. Alongside his trusty new partner ILL, a young clown with brittle bones but an unshakable faith in humanity, Bungo must overcome many trials on his journey home...

Bungo Calamity, a weary clown in a weary world, must make his way across the post-apocalyptic landscape of America twenty years after the Great Nuclear Whoopsie wiped out most of mankind in order to return to his wife and son in Ithaca, New York. Alongside his trusty new partner ILL, a young clown with brittle bones but an unshakable faith in humanity, Bungo must overcome many trials on his journey home: hypnotic half-fish/half-human hybrids, the horrors of Mime Country, and his ex-partner in clown, the dreaded Sy Klopps! Will Bungo and ILL make it to Bungo's fated home in Ithaca? Will ILL overcome their haunted past and become the great clown they were destined to be? And just what the heck is going on in Hell, Michigan? The answers await you in The Adventures of Bungo Calamity: Apocalypse Clown!

The Bøyg

by A.J. Ditty

Synopsis

It's 1942 and the cultural elite of Norway have been imprisoned by Nazi occupiers in the Grini Concentration Camp on the outskirts of Oslo. As they try to survive their imprisonment and keep their sanity, they decide to stage a production of Henrik Ibsen's Peer Gynt to raise morale just in time for Christmas. But the arrival of a new bunkmate to the barrack brings unforeseen complications, causing the men to...

It's 1942 and the cultural elite of Norway have been imprisoned by Nazi occupiers in the Grini Concentration Camp on the outskirts of Oslo. As they try to survive their imprisonment and keep their sanity, they decide to stage a production of Henrik Ibsen's Peer Gynt to raise morale just in time for Christmas. But the arrival of a new bunkmate to the barrack brings unforeseen complications, causing the men to reexamine their relationship to their country, their art, and themselves. How can you create art in the depths of despair? And how can you ever overcome the brutal embrace of the Bøyg?

Based on From Day to Day: One Man's Diary of Survival in Nazi Concentration Camps by Odd Nansen.

CW: Suicide, Suicidal Ideation, Depression.

All Things Considered, It Was Probably the Most Productive Meeting The Escondido Unified School District PTA Ever Had

by A.J. Ditty

Synopsis

The last three remaining members of the Escondido Unified School District PTA meet over Zoom.
Attendance is taken.
Motions are proposed.
No one is okay.

The last three remaining members of the Escondido Unified School District PTA meet over Zoom.
Attendance is taken.
Motions are proposed.
No one is okay.

Heart of Duckness

by A.J. Ditty

Synopsis

It's the Berlin Conference of 1884 and Europe teeters on the brink of war over colonial holdings in Africa. Every character is a duck. And we're all corkscrewed.

It's the Berlin Conference of 1884 and Europe teeters on the brink of war over colonial holdings in Africa. Every character is a duck. And we're all corkscrewed.

Munichtown

by A.J. Ditty

Synopsis

It's 2017 and the "Munich Loves You!" Touring Company has fallen on hard times: Friedrich Ellerman, the neurotic co-founder, is dealing with his recent breakup with his boyfriend/business partner; Donny Farragut, the resident slacker, is dealing with a pernicious ghost problem; and Doris Kreitzer is celebrating her one year anniversary of moving to Munich while entering into a toxic relationship of her own. As...

It's 2017 and the "Munich Loves You!" Touring Company has fallen on hard times: Friedrich Ellerman, the neurotic co-founder, is dealing with his recent breakup with his boyfriend/business partner; Donny Farragut, the resident slacker, is dealing with a pernicious ghost problem; and Doris Kreitzer is celebrating her one year anniversary of moving to Munich while entering into a toxic relationship of her own. As dark and mysterious forces begin to overtake Munich and fascism rears its ugly head, the tour guides must contend with the city they love reverting back to its darkest age and their own place in its tumultuous history. Munichtown explores what it takes to be happy in a world on the edge of annihilation.

B.B.'s Inferno

by A.J. Ditty

Synopsis

When twelve-year-old Beatrice "B.B." Baxter loses her older brother in a tragic car accident, she embarks on a journey through the nine circles of Hell in order to get him back. Guided by the damned cowboy Coop McClintock and armed with nothing but her brother's favorite Foo Fighters album, B.B. fights her way through her own personal demons, literal demons, and Lucifer herself, the Queen of Darkness who's going...

When twelve-year-old Beatrice "B.B." Baxter loses her older brother in a tragic car accident, she embarks on a journey through the nine circles of Hell in order to get him back. Guided by the damned cowboy Coop McClintock and armed with nothing but her brother's favorite Foo Fighters album, B.B. fights her way through her own personal demons, literal demons, and Lucifer herself, the Queen of Darkness who's going through a pretty tumultuous breakup, on her journey to the center of Hell. Will B.B. get her brother back? Will Coop redeem himself for his past sins? Will Lucifer ever find love? The answers await in the depths of B.B.'s Inferno.

Rubiella: A Ghost Story

by A.J. Ditty

Synopsis

Acclaimed comedian and face-haver Willy Appelman takes us on a wild journey through his past in a search for answers about his family, himself, and Rubiella, his live-in nanny of eight years who mysteriously vanished overnight never to be heard from again. As Willy wrestles with his own family’s recollections of Rubiella and his own fragmented memories, he slowly makes his way through the recurring nightmare...

Acclaimed comedian and face-haver Willy Appelman takes us on a wild journey through his past in a search for answers about his family, himself, and Rubiella, his live-in nanny of eight years who mysteriously vanished overnight never to be heard from again. As Willy wrestles with his own family’s recollections of Rubiella and his own fragmented memories, he slowly makes his way through the recurring nightmare that plagued him as a child: that of Rubiella murdering his entire family and the guilt that came with having such a nightmare. Will Willy be able to pin down Rubiella? Or will he be lost to the nightmare forever? With a plethora of puns and just a dash of James Taylor, Rubiella: A Ghost Story is a feel-good blood-sport memory play that brings out the scared little ten-year old in us all...and then murders it in a variety of fun and interesting ways.

Eloise Parker Goes to the Moon

by A.J. Ditty

Synopsis

When Eloise Parker is diagnosed with stage-three lung cancer, her initial terror gives way to hope with the revelation of a new experimental treatment: launching herself into space to extend her lifespan tenfold. But in order to do so, she must combat both the horrors of her disease and her own complicated relationships: with her wife, Victoria, whom she grows more and more distant from each day; with Tom, her...

When Eloise Parker is diagnosed with stage-three lung cancer, her initial terror gives way to hope with the revelation of a new experimental treatment: launching herself into space to extend her lifespan tenfold. But in order to do so, she must combat both the horrors of her disease and her own complicated relationships: with her wife, Victoria, whom she grows more and more distant from each day; with Tom, her co-pilot and child cancer survivor; and with the Moon itself, her childhood friend who may not have her best interests at heart. As the launch day draws closer and Eloise's disease spreads, tensions mount as all of her relationships are pushed to the breaking point. Will Eloise make it to the Moon? Will her marriage survive the trial? Do potatoes photosynthesize? (No, but, seriously, DO they? It has been KILLING me.) All of these questions (except the one about photosynthesis, because, I mean, HOW) will be revealed when Eloise Parker Goes to the Moon.