Surrey Houlker

Surrey Houlker (she/they) is a playwright & friend. They're gonna redo their bio soon.

Surrey Houlker (she/they) is a playwright & friend. They're gonna redo their bio soon.

Scripts

Rest, Stop.

by Surrey Houlker

Cast Size
5
Genre
dark comedy,
experimental

FULL LENGTH:
Sandy is a long-haul trucker.
Love Bug loves Sandy and getting pegged.
Saint Francis and Bathtub Mary may or may not be living in Sandy's trailer.
Angel is 15 and pregnant.
Sweetie was roadkill.

'Rest, Stop.' is a hallucinatory road trip through the heartland of America, chronicling parenthood, childhood, divine Queerness, and those we choose to leave behind.

FULL LENGTH:
Sandy is a long-haul trucker.
Love Bug loves Sandy and getting pegged.
Saint Francis and Bathtub Mary may or may not be living in Sandy's trailer.
Angel is 15 and pregnant.
Sweetie was roadkill.

'Rest, Stop.' is a hallucinatory road trip through the heartland of America, chronicling parenthood, childhood, divine Queerness, and those we choose to leave behind.

Hot Breakfast at Paul Bunyan Inn & Suites in the Beautiful City of Farville, USA

by Surrey Houlker

Cast Size
5
Genre
comedy,
drama

FULL LENGTH: Welcome to Paul Bunyan Inn & Suites!
...
Breakfast is from 6am to 9am on weekdays and 7am to 10am on weekends. As the owner Jo likes to say, Fridays are NOT weekends, they’re weekdays. We’ve got fluffy eggs, wet sausage links, and buttered toast, so grab a plate and we’ll meet you in the lobby. You might see Joe and Lola, permanent residents of Room 222 or Tad, a loyal visitor who’s got eyes for...

FULL LENGTH: Welcome to Paul Bunyan Inn & Suites!
...
Breakfast is from 6am to 9am on weekdays and 7am to 10am on weekends. As the owner Jo likes to say, Fridays are NOT weekends, they’re weekdays. We’ve got fluffy eggs, wet sausage links, and buttered toast, so grab a plate and we’ll meet you in the lobby. You might see Joe and Lola, permanent residents of Room 222 or Tad, a loyal visitor who’s got eyes for Joe. Or you might see a newcomer or two.
...
No matter where you’re going or where you’ve been, a cup of coffee will always be waiting for you at Paul Bunyan Inn & Suites.

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for the fish

by Surrey Houlker

6
Cast Size
3
Genre
dark comedy,
drama,
period

FULL LENGTH:
'for the fish' asks: How can we find (and keep) safety as queer people?
What even is safety?
Do fish have feelings?

It’s 1974, deep in rural America. Uncle loves taxidermy, beer, and the oasis of solitude that they’ve built for themselves. Susanna isn’t quite sure what she loves...Maybe it’s fishing? Maybe it’s her best friend, Joanie? As the year comes to a close, Susanna’s big heart and quick...

FULL LENGTH:
'for the fish' asks: How can we find (and keep) safety as queer people?
What even is safety?
Do fish have feelings?

It’s 1974, deep in rural America. Uncle loves taxidermy, beer, and the oasis of solitude that they’ve built for themselves. Susanna isn’t quite sure what she loves...Maybe it’s fishing? Maybe it’s her best friend, Joanie? As the year comes to a close, Susanna’s big heart and quick temper keep her precariously perched between normalcy and disaster. And Uncle, grappling with their addiction and the task of parenting Susanna, finds themselves caught up in a wave of teenage turbulence. When a scaly monster rears its ugly head, Susanna and Uncle draw closer, bonded by an understanding few in their world will ever hold.

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Does the Dog Die?

by Surrey Houlker

Cast Size
6
Genre
dark comedy

FULL-LENGTH: TK

FULL-LENGTH: TK

shitkicker!

by Surrey Houlker

Cast Size
4
Genre
comedy,
drama

FULL-LENGTH: TK

FULL-LENGTH: TK

Valor Vista (WIP)

by Surrey Houlker

Cast Size
5
Genre
adventure,
dark comedy,
drama,
fantasy

FULL LENGTH (WIP):
Valor Vista is a nursing home, a cyclical nightmare,
where Bobbie, Ruth Anne, Wanda, and Sue find each other
and find Absolution; a role-playing game essentially derived from Dungeons & Dragons.

'Valor Vista' is a genre-bending dark comedy/fantasy that breaks from everyday horrors to build a beautiful new world.

FULL LENGTH (WIP):
Valor Vista is a nursing home, a cyclical nightmare,
where Bobbie, Ruth Anne, Wanda, and Sue find each other
and find Absolution; a role-playing game essentially derived from Dungeons & Dragons.

'Valor Vista' is a genre-bending dark comedy/fantasy that breaks from everyday horrors to build a beautiful new world.

THE DEAD DADZ CLUB

by Surrey Houlker

2
Cast Size
6
Genre
dark comedy,
drama

FULL LENGTH:
There is nothing more important to the members of The Dead Dadz Club (Vee, Brooke, Lulu, Ethan, Natalie, and Lucas) than their dead dads…And maybe the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Middle School Talent Show.

As teenage hormones rage, romances blossom, and life-altering secrets come to light, 'THE DEAD DADZ CLUB' examines the cost of belonging, the impacts of trauma, and our collective, intrinsic need...

FULL LENGTH:
There is nothing more important to the members of The Dead Dadz Club (Vee, Brooke, Lulu, Ethan, Natalie, and Lucas) than their dead dads…And maybe the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Middle School Talent Show.

As teenage hormones rage, romances blossom, and life-altering secrets come to light, 'THE DEAD DADZ CLUB' examines the cost of belonging, the impacts of trauma, and our collective, intrinsic need to be understood and in control.

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Linda's Donuts

by Surrey Houlker

3
Cast Size
3
Genre
comedy

TEN MINUTES: Steph and Leo's morning shift at Linda's Donuts just became 10x worse than it usually is. A ten-minute play exploring privilege, mental health, queerness, and the oppressive confines of capitalism.

TEN MINUTES: Steph and Leo's morning shift at Linda's Donuts just became 10x worse than it usually is. A ten-minute play exploring privilege, mental health, queerness, and the oppressive confines of capitalism.

HOUSE PLAY (co-written with Gabriele Preston)

by Surrey Houlker

Cast Size
2
Genre
dark comedy,
horror

TEN MINUTES: Something’s lurking in the barn. Locks of hair and scraps of meat go missing. Still, 8-year-old friends Squid and Dukem play ‘House’. A ten-minute play dissecting childhood grief, scraped knees, and the ways we learn to let go. (Written in 12 hours for Fresh Ink’s 2023 Mad Dash)

TEN MINUTES: Something’s lurking in the barn. Locks of hair and scraps of meat go missing. Still, 8-year-old friends Squid and Dukem play ‘House’. A ten-minute play dissecting childhood grief, scraped knees, and the ways we learn to let go. (Written in 12 hours for Fresh Ink’s 2023 Mad Dash)