William Missouri Downs

William Missouri Downs

PLAYWRITING: William has had over 200 productions of his plays and won numerous writing awards including two rolling premieres from the National New Play Network (Women Playing Hamlet and The Exit Interview). He's twice been a finalist at the Eugene O’Neill (Mad Gravity & How To Steal A Picasso). His plays have been produced by Orlando Shakes, The InterAct Theatre in Philadelphia, The San Diego Rep,...
PLAYWRITING: William has had over 200 productions of his plays and won numerous writing awards including two rolling premieres from the National New Play Network (Women Playing Hamlet and The Exit Interview). He's twice been a finalist at the Eugene O’Neill (Mad Gravity & How To Steal A Picasso). His plays have been produced by Orlando Shakes, The InterAct Theatre in Philadelphia, The San Diego Rep, The Berkeley Rep, The Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, The Salt Lake Acting Company, The Actors Theatre of Charlotte, The Jewish Theatre of Toronto, The Bloomington Playwright’s Project, The Detroit Rep, and The New York City Fringe Festival to name a few. His plays have been produced in Spain, Canada, USA, South Africa, Russia, Singapore, Switzerland, Austria, Israel, India, England, Australia and South Korea. He has published 11 plays: The Exit Interview , Kosher Lutherans & Cockeyed (Samuel French), Mad Gravity, Mr. Perfect, Women Playing Hamlet, Dead White Males (Playscripts), Headset & Seagulls In A Cherry Tree (Heuer Publishing), and Innocent Thoughts & A Doll House (adaptation) (Next Stage Press). William was recently honored at the Royal Court Theatre in London as a finalist for the Nick Darke Award. He is represented by Patricia McLaughlin at the Beacon Artists Agency, New York.

PRIZES: Rolling Premieres from The National New Play Network, Finalist @ The Eugene O’Neill, Final Draft Television Writing Contest, Beverly Hills Theatre Guild’s Lilian Nesburn Award, Finalist @ Nick Darke Award, Reva Shiner Comedy Award , NNPN National Showcase of New Plays, Winner @The Greenhouse Festival Of New Plays , Finalist @ Ashland New Play Festival, Winner @ Larry Corse Prize For Playwriting, Bay Area Critics Award (Best production), Finalist @ Broad Horizon Theatre Company Playwriting Competition, Winner @ Norfolk Southern Festival of New Works, Finalist @ Ashland New Play Festival

BOOKS: William has co-written four books, including "The Art Of Theatre" (Cengage), which is now in its fourth edition and has been used by over 60,000 college students. "Screenplay: Writing the Picture" (Silman James) which is in its third edition and is required reading at many film schools (Also published in Poland - Scenariusz Filmowy). His two books on the art of writing for the stage are "Naked Playwriting" (Silman James) and "Playwriting: From Formula To Form" (Harcourt Brace).
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SCREEN & TELEVISION WRITING: William earned an MFA in screenwriting from UCLA. He started as a script secretary on NBC’s Moonlighting (Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd) and worked his way up to a staff writer on the NBC sitcom My Two Dads (Paul Reiser). He also wrote episodes for the NBC sitcoms Amen (Sherman Hemsley) and Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (Will Smith). In addition, he won UCLA’s Jack Nicholson Award for screenwriting, sold a movie to Ron Howard’s Imagine Films and optioned another to Filmways. He recently optioned a TV pilot to Hollywood producer Meryl Poster.
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DIRECTING & ACTING: William acted in 20 plays before a slight stammer brought on by a bout with viral encephalitis ended his acting career. He has directed 40 professional, amateur, and academic productions including Stupid F#%king Bird at the The Salt Lake Acting Company.

He lives in a log cabin 7,700 feet up in the mountains of Colorado.

Plays

  • Women Playing Hamlet (All Female Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Recommendations: 3
    ·
    Cast: 
    4–18
    ·
    Genre: comedy, docudrama/historic + 2 more
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    Keyword: Hamlet, Farce + 6 more
    Genre: comedy, docudrama/historic, farce, melodrama
    Keyword: Hamlet, Farce, Female Hamlet, diverse cast, feminist, identity, strong female roles, Bechdel Test
    Winner of a Rolling Premiere from the National New Play Network

    PUBLISHED BY PLAYSCRIPTS!

    In Shakespeare's day, men played the women's roles. In this new comedy, women play all the men's roles. It's the story of Jessica, an actress who has been cast to play Hamlet in New York. After accidentally interrupting a performance of Hamlet starring Patrick Stewart,...
    Winner of a Rolling Premiere from the National New Play Network

    PUBLISHED BY PLAYSCRIPTS!

    In Shakespeare's day, men played the women's roles. In this new comedy, women play all the men's roles. It's the story of Jessica, an actress who has been cast to play Hamlet in New York. After accidentally interrupting a performance of Hamlet starring Patrick Stewart, Jessica thinks Mr. Stewart is stalking her; she also faces an uphill battle through a maze of self-important humanities professors, Freudian psychiatrists, and a Danish mother only to discover she doesn’t understand Hamlet, or herself. The search for identity is the theme as Jessica takes on her emotional baggage and an existential overload, as well as her self-doubt and disdain for Danish fondue. In the end she takes the stage and finds herself.

    "This wickedly clever new play from William Missouri Downs, dubbed 'a comedy about a tragedy,' uses an all-woman cast to explore questions of courage and conscience in a modern setting, managing to both spoof Shakespeare and pay homage to him in a two-hour show that moves like lightning." - The Patriot News Harrisburg

    "With the colorful script and vivid characters Women Playing Hamlet is a slam dunk..." - Kansas City Examiner

    "What's amazing lies in the script where Downs dissects Hamlet's intricate character and puts all aspects of Hamlet's persona in Jessica's challenge to scale the ladder to play the part." - Kansas City Examiner

    "A rollicking satire jabbing shallow pop culture, overly reverential attitudes toward literature and the intensive navel-gazing shared by actors." - Florida Theatre On Stage

    "Silly, profound and ultimately moving" - Florida Theatre On Stage

    "Downs's script has... theater history and some of the eternal questions about playing Hamlet woven into its fabric, along with funny and sobering truths about the actor's life." - Miami Herald
  • You Can't Say That! (A New Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    6
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 2 more
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    Keyword: LGBTQ characters, Mormon + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, political, satire
    Keyword: LGBTQ characters, Mormon, comedy, identity, Pronouns, diversity and inclusion training webinar
    You Can't Say That is a comedy about the labels we attach to each other as if those labels capture the sum total of who we or they are.

    The story centers around Chris, a white newly hired adjunct professor in a diverse English department, who is assigned Dorothy, a transwoman as his TA. Chris attempts to act ‘woke,” but his ultra-conservative childhood haunts him. The University’s...
    You Can't Say That is a comedy about the labels we attach to each other as if those labels capture the sum total of who we or they are.

    The story centers around Chris, a white newly hired adjunct professor in a diverse English department, who is assigned Dorothy, a transwoman as his TA. Chris attempts to act ‘woke,” but his ultra-conservative childhood haunts him. The University’s poorly produced diversity and inclusion training webinar “You Can’t Say That” only complicates things. The department decides that all faculty and students are to wear name tags which label their personal nouns and pronouns. But Chris, doesn’t know who he really is, or which labels define him. He’s trapped in a society that forces us to clip the edges of our identity to fit ready-made social expectations. Then he discovers that his politically incorrect gaffes and personal struggles with his sexuality are going public and that he must stop hitting the "accept" button on his or others’ identities without first reading the terms and conditions - in other words, without understanding who he or they really are.

    Our purpose in writing this comedy is to draw people out of their bubbles. When you laugh at something, you never look at it again the same way. Laughter can open our minds to new perceptions, which is the beginning of change.

    This quick-moving comedy features a diverse cast and is filled with ridiculous webinars and student-written absurdist plays-within-the-plays that demand an after-performance talkback.
  • How To Survive Your Family At Christmas (Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    5
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: Christmas comedy, family + 7 more
    Genre: comedy, farce, holiday
    Keyword: Christmas comedy, family, Farce, Fun, christmas, holiday, comedy, forgiveness, holiday comedy
    A NEW HOLIDAY COMEDY

    It’s Christmas, that wonderful time of year when families deck the halls, don their gay apparel, and pretend they don’t hate each other. College student Loretta hasn’t been home in two years mostly because she has nothing in common with her blue-collar parents. When she left to attend Harvard, she thought she’d never return, but then she fell in love with a cultivated...
    A NEW HOLIDAY COMEDY

    It’s Christmas, that wonderful time of year when families deck the halls, don their gay apparel, and pretend they don’t hate each other. College student Loretta hasn’t been home in two years mostly because she has nothing in common with her blue-collar parents. When she left to attend Harvard, she thought she’d never return, but then she fell in love with a cultivated Cambridge law student, and he wants to meet her parents.

    The difference between Loretta’s law student and her parents couldn’t be more profound. He loves yachting, while her parents never let her near water - growing up Loretta’s mother told her chlorine caused skepticism. He reads Tennyson, while her parents read Jonathan Livingston Seagull - not the book, the Cliffs Notes.

    How to Survive Your Family At Christmas is a crowd-pleasing comedy about family, love and the one thing we all need to survive the holidays, forgiveness.
  • The Exit Interview (Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Recommendations: 6
    ·
    Cast: 
    6–26
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: Bertolt Brecht, school shooting + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, farce, political, satire
    Keyword: Bertolt Brecht, school shooting, absurdism, political dark comedy, social issues, Bechdel Test
    Winner of a Rolling Premiere from the National New Play Network .

    PUBLISHED BY SAMUEL FRENCH

    Untenured professor Dr. Dick Fig has found that a PhD on Bertolt Brecht isn’t worth much – He’s being pink-slipped. The last thing he needs to do before he hits the slow-moving unemployment line is attend the University’s required exit interview. Eunice, the interviewer, is not a good...
    Winner of a Rolling Premiere from the National New Play Network .

    PUBLISHED BY SAMUEL FRENCH

    Untenured professor Dr. Dick Fig has found that a PhD on Bertolt Brecht isn’t worth much – He’s being pink-slipped. The last thing he needs to do before he hits the slow-moving unemployment line is attend the University’s required exit interview. Eunice, the interviewer, is not a good match for Dick, she finds comfort in self-help books like book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, while Dick hates small talk and is a vocal freethinker.

    When a despondent student begins shooting up Ronald Reagan Hall (next door to the action), Dick and Eunice are forced to take cover as they confront the great existential questions of life: What is its meaning? What is the relationship between religion and science? And why does God hate amputees? (Dick had his foot amputated in a tragic moose accident – it was reattached).

    The Exit interview is not realism - A chorus of actors play nearly two dozen roles that interrupt the main action to tell the story of Dick’s failed relationships, his fallout with small minded people, and his relationship with the moose. When things get too intense, the chorus stops the action of the play to stage commercial interruptions and ten-minute plays with other story lines in order to remind the audience that they are in a theatre and need to keep thinking.

    "The Exit Interview" may be one of the most up-front, honest plays you ever sit down to watch. – The Salt Lake Tribune

    “Bertolt Brecht would be proud.” - Orlando Sentinel

    “A gleefully boundary-flouting riff on religion, piety and the limits of belief” - San Diego Union Tribune


  • Mr. Perfect (Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: Summer stock, love + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, farce, romantic comedy
    Keyword: Summer stock, love, adult romantic comedy, funny, comedy
    PUBLISHED BY PLAYSCRIPTS

    MR. PERFECT is not what you expect in a love story. It is a romantic comedy about a quirky flight attendant who is a romance novel junkie. When she meets Mr. Perfect she attempts to make love with him in the bathroom of an Airbus 32,000 feet over Dayton, Ohio. When it doesn’t work out she sets out on a personal search to find the purpose of life by connecting the random...
    PUBLISHED BY PLAYSCRIPTS

    MR. PERFECT is not what you expect in a love story. It is a romantic comedy about a quirky flight attendant who is a romance novel junkie. When she meets Mr. Perfect she attempts to make love with him in the bathroom of an Airbus 32,000 feet over Dayton, Ohio. When it doesn’t work out she sets out on a personal search to find the purpose of life by connecting the random chance events that make up existence.

    Her search leads her to find solace in the arms of a PhD student whose thesis is about human beings' feeble attempt to find meaning where no meaning exists. Mr. Perfect finds comfort in the arms of a nationally known self-help guru and author of such famous books as Ten Days to Self-Esteem and On a Wing and a Prayer: A Twelve-Step Crash Course on Conquering Your Fear of Flying.

    But when the self-help guru goes down on an airliner and the PhD is charged with plagiarism, the lovers by chance find each other again and set out to create their own through-line, narrative and meaning.

    Now a full-length play, the original one-act version was produced at the New York City Fringe Festival a few years ago. The play was cancelled after one performance when Hurricane Irene hit, but the short version did get one review from New York Theatre.com, “Hysterical! If you're going to see a play as a sort of escape you will get more than you bargained for here.”

    "...Downs flexes his considerable wit in asking if our ability to live in the present has been quashed by our need for familiar outcomes. If that sounds like a lot to get your mind around, fear not, for Downs brings this down to earth in the person of Zooey, an audio-book junkie, who wants her life to be the incarnation of her favorite taped stories." - Denver Post

    "Probably the wittiest new play in the last few seasons, Mr. Perfect is also very wise. In this case Mr. Downs' laser sharp pen skewers our need to have lives reflective of the romantic visions of authors of the past who floridly illustrate the way relationships should begin love at first page and end happily ever after." - Colorado Critic Corner

    "Hysterical! If you're going to see a play as a sort of escape you will get more than you bargained for here." - nytheatre.com

  • Kosher Lutherans (Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    5
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce + 1 more
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    Keyword: Jewish, Purim + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, farce, romantic comedy
    Keyword: Jewish, Purim, Hanukah, comedy, cultural diversity, strong female characters
    PUBLISHED BY SAMUEL FRENCH

    Kosher Lutherans is a curveball comedy about an infertile Jewish couple and their desperate attempts to have a baby. One day their dreams come true - they meet a young, naïve, pregnant girl from Iowa who is willing to let them adopt her out-of-wedlock baby. The only problem is the girl doesn’t know they’re Jewish. All she knows about Jews is what her farmer father told...
    PUBLISHED BY SAMUEL FRENCH

    Kosher Lutherans is a curveball comedy about an infertile Jewish couple and their desperate attempts to have a baby. One day their dreams come true - they meet a young, naïve, pregnant girl from Iowa who is willing to let them adopt her out-of-wedlock baby. The only problem is the girl doesn’t know they’re Jewish. All she knows about Jews is what her farmer father told her, “They control Hollywood and killed Jesus.” In an attempt not to blow the deal the couple decides to pose as Lutherans, leading to hysterical twists and turns and a perfect play for the holiday season.
  • Ivanka Vs. Reality (Dramatic Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: comedy, drama
    ·
    Keyword: strong female characters, Hollywoood + 1 more
    Genre: comedy, drama
    Keyword: strong female characters, Hollywoood, reality
    A new comedy inspired by Ivanka Trump's line, "Perception is more important than reality." Sylvia, a divorced Hollywood screenwriter is losing her grip as her career slides into middle-aged female oblivion. Desperate for work she takes a job writing a movie “based on a true story” only to learn that Ivanka was right, “If someone perceives something to be true, it is more important than if it is...
    A new comedy inspired by Ivanka Trump's line, "Perception is more important than reality." Sylvia, a divorced Hollywood screenwriter is losing her grip as her career slides into middle-aged female oblivion. Desperate for work she takes a job writing a movie “based on a true story” only to learn that Ivanka was right, “If someone perceives something to be true, it is more important than if it is in fact true."

    Optioned for production until Summer of 2021
  • Cockeyed (Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: love, Summer stock + 2 more
    Genre: comedy, farce, romantic comedy
    Keyword: love, Summer stock, funny, love story
    PUBLISHED BY SAMUEL FRENCH

    Phil was a philosophy major in college. As if that’s not enough of a turn off to women, he is also rather average. All of this wouldn’t be a problem if Phil weren’t madly in love with Sophia, the boss’s beautiful secretary. He tries to introduce himself but she looks right through him. Phil’s best friend, Norman tells the humiliated Phil that the rumor around the...
    PUBLISHED BY SAMUEL FRENCH

    Phil was a philosophy major in college. As if that’s not enough of a turn off to women, he is also rather average. All of this wouldn’t be a problem if Phil weren’t madly in love with Sophia, the boss’s beautiful secretary. He tries to introduce himself but she looks right through him. Phil’s best friend, Norman tells the humiliated Phil that the rumor around the office is that Sophia has a glass eye. This news thrills Phil because this tiny imperfection makes Sophia attainable. But more, Phil was standing to her left - perhaps she never saw him! Phil begs Norman to make a formal introduction. However, this second attempt ends in utter failure when Sophia looks right through Phil - again.

    His self-esteem in shambles, it soon occurs to Phil that Sophia in fact cannot see him. Perhaps he is caught in some kind of hyperspace or dualistic reality or perhaps Descartes was wrong. Phil decides there is only one logical thing to do – he moves in with the woman of his dreams – despite the fact that she’s unaware of his existence
  • Life On My Knees (A New Award-Winning Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 1 more
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    Keyword: religion, Religion In America + 5 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, satire
    Keyword: religion, Religion In America, fundamentalist Christians, strong female characters, dark, funny, contemporary
    Beverly Hills Theatre Guild’s Julie Harris Playwriting Award

    A Ph.D. in English lit isn’t worth shit - just ask Dr. Helen Hand. Desperate for a job, she drunkenly agrees to teach at a conservative Bible college in the middle-of-nowhere-Kansas. The problem - she’s a skeptic, a liberal and gluten intolerant. She enters a world of rigid moral rules: no smoking, no alcohol, no doubting. Working...
    Beverly Hills Theatre Guild’s Julie Harris Playwriting Award

    A Ph.D. in English lit isn’t worth shit - just ask Dr. Helen Hand. Desperate for a job, she drunkenly agrees to teach at a conservative Bible college in the middle-of-nowhere-Kansas. The problem - she’s a skeptic, a liberal and gluten intolerant. She enters a world of rigid moral rules: no smoking, no alcohol, no doubting. Working undercover she sets out to enlighten the fundamentalist students but it quickly goes to hell. This small cast comedy looks at our need for faith and reason.
  • FASCISM! The Musical (Cabaret Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    6
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 4 more
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    Keyword: fascism, plutocracy + 7 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, farce, musical, political, satire
    Keyword: fascism, plutocracy, Donald Trump, capitalism, socialism, musical, Ayn Rand, social commentary, social issues
    A radical comic romp around the plutocracy that now controls the USA. Ayn Rand sings about the virtues of selfishness. Then Capitalism Jesus sings about how God wants everyone to be wealthy and how he can’t cure people if they have preexisting conditions. Top this off with songs about trickle-down economics, the Russian golden shower dancers, a socialism polka, and you have an entertaining, politically...
    A radical comic romp around the plutocracy that now controls the USA. Ayn Rand sings about the virtues of selfishness. Then Capitalism Jesus sings about how God wants everyone to be wealthy and how he can’t cure people if they have preexisting conditions. Top this off with songs about trickle-down economics, the Russian golden shower dancers, a socialism polka, and you have an entertaining, politically incorrect evening.

    FOR MORE GO TO. https://www.fascismthemusical.com
  • Karl, The Magnificent (A New Farce) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce
    ·
    Keyword: Farce, comedy + 6 more
    Genre: comedy, farce
    Keyword: Farce, comedy, absurd farce, micro-aggressions, magical realism, Hope, Jewish, small cast comedy
    FINALIST FOR THE NICK DARKE AWARD (London) Top 8 out over 1000 script!

    Maggie and Raymond have just flunked their hostile workplace training seminar. The only way they can keep their jobs is to put their microaggressions aside and attend the birthday party for the employee they bully the most, Karl, the office nerd. What they don’t know is that Karl is the only person on earth who can save...
    FINALIST FOR THE NICK DARKE AWARD (London) Top 8 out over 1000 script!

    Maggie and Raymond have just flunked their hostile workplace training seminar. The only way they can keep their jobs is to put their microaggressions aside and attend the birthday party for the employee they bully the most, Karl, the office nerd. What they don’t know is that Karl is the only person on earth who can save humanity from destruction. That’s right, the world is ending and Karl is the savior. Or is Karl just an evil genius who has staged the evening in order to seek revenge? Karl, The Magnificent is an absurd farce that asks the question, “If we had to start the human race over with only four highly flawed individuals would we be up to the task?” Or are Homo sapiens a lost cause, an evolutionary mistake, a dud?
  • How To Steal A Picasso (Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    5
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 2 more
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    Keyword: Picasso, art + 5 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, drama, farce
    Keyword: Picasso, art, Artists, Farce, strong female characters, funny, A Family issue
    A FINALIST IN THE 2015 EUGENE O'NEILL

    “Amid all the crazy plot turns, Downs finds opportunities to make valid statements about our perceptions of art, delusional self-styled “artists” and how art has lost any meaning beyond its value as a commodity.” - Kansas City Star

    Otto Smith’s dreams have come true. After a lifetime of struggles as an unknown painter and decades as a tour...
    A FINALIST IN THE 2015 EUGENE O'NEILL

    “Amid all the crazy plot turns, Downs finds opportunities to make valid statements about our perceptions of art, delusional self-styled “artists” and how art has lost any meaning beyond its value as a commodity.” - Kansas City Star

    Otto Smith’s dreams have come true. After a lifetime of struggles as an unknown painter and decades as a tour guide at the Detroit Institute for the Arts, he’s won a major art award. But things quickly go wrong when a fifty million dollar Picasso is stolen from the museum on the same day that his long lost son, an alleged art forger, shows up in the Motor City. Soon Otto’s family is the chief suspect. This dark comedy looks at what is real and what is counterfeit in this pixilated world where we too often think of artists as employees and art as a mere commodity. How To Steal A Picasso received standing ovations and its run was extended at the Unicorn Theatre in Feb of 2016.
  • Angry Psycho Princesses (Musical Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    12–16
    ·
    Genre: comedy, musical + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: Disney, princesses + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, musical, parody/spoof, romantic comedy, satire
    Keyword: Disney, princesses, Big Musical, Bechdel Test, social commentary, strong female characters
    Angry Psycho Princesses is a new musical comedy about William and Kate Fankhousers of St. Paul Minnesota. To save their collapsing marriage they take their daughter Cindy on vacation to Pretty Princess Park, a rip-off theme park across from Disneyland.

    Their daughter marvels at the animatronic “Hall of Princesses.” Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, all the princesses are there in robot form (at...
    Angry Psycho Princesses is a new musical comedy about William and Kate Fankhousers of St. Paul Minnesota. To save their collapsing marriage they take their daughter Cindy on vacation to Pretty Princess Park, a rip-off theme park across from Disneyland.

    Their daughter marvels at the animatronic “Hall of Princesses.” Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, all the princesses are there in robot form (at least the ones in public domain). But William and Kate aren’t enjoying themselves. She’s a businesswoman with a bladder infection; he’s an unemployed car salesman. While arguing they miss the recorded announcement, the park is closing; they find themselves locked in overnight.

    After hours, the android princesses magically come to life. William and Kate are terrified, Cindy thrilled. Off the clock the bitter, jaded human princesses try to drink booze and do Peyote. When they see little Cindy they warn her that she must get the hell out for they were also once-upon-a-time trapped in Pretty Princess Park afterhours and were made captive robots by the Evil Queen.

    That’s right, Pretty Princess Park is in fact a front for a villainous cult of war rats ruled over by the malicious Queen Badassery.

    Badassery was also a sweet little girl once, but then her mother took her to see Disney’s Bambi. The sight of Bambi’s mother dying was just too much for her little brain; she came down with Bambi Syndrome, which causes severe adult onset wickedness. Badassery puts a spell on little Cindy, when the sun comes up she too will become a robot princess.

    William and Kate Fankhousers must save their daughter, but they are immediately sidetracked when Kate falls in lust for the enchanting Charming Prince; he’s everything she’s ever wanted in a man and he doesn’t sell cars. Then William tries to spawn with the Little Mermaid, a sexy Fukushima victim, half-woman, half-Mackerel.

    When they come to their senses, Kate, William and the angry princesses lead a rebellion against the evil Queen in an attempt to stop her before she makes more little girls believe in princesses.
  • Mad Gravity (Farce) by William Missouri Downs
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    5
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce
    ·
    Keyword: comedy, end of the world + 7 more
    Genre: comedy, farce
    Keyword: comedy, end of the world, Farce, absurdism, dark, funny, post-apocalyptic, Meteor, asteroid
    FINALIST AT THE 2013 EUGENE O'NEILL - PUBLISHED BY PLAYSCRIPTS

    Also available in Spanish "Fuera de órbita"

    Winner of the 2013 Reva Shiner Comedy Award from the Bloomington Playwrights Project. “For a wildly different evening of fun theater.” - Bloomington Herald times

    Mad Gravity is a comedy about Archie and Eudora, two Dada performance artists who...
    FINALIST AT THE 2013 EUGENE O'NEILL - PUBLISHED BY PLAYSCRIPTS

    Also available in Spanish "Fuera de órbita"

    Winner of the 2013 Reva Shiner Comedy Award from the Bloomington Playwrights Project. “For a wildly different evening of fun theater.” - Bloomington Herald times

    Mad Gravity is a comedy about Archie and Eudora, two Dada performance artists who have built a theatre in their living room. Every night before a live audience they act out their lives. You’ve heard of reality television; think of it as reality theatre. They want to build a second experimental space in their kitchen but they just cannot take any more kitchen sink realism. Artaud would be proud of them.

    Tonight’s Theatre of Cruelty performance concerns their teenage daughter who wants to marry the son of Joe and Mary. All the parties involved have been invited to the house/theatre. But when the kids forget to tell Joe and Mary about the live audience all hell breaks lose.

    Things go from bad to worse when they discover that a comet has been spotted in the night sky. There is a 50/50 chance it will hit the earth. Everyone, including the audience, may have only an hour to live. This forces the parents to stop arguing about insignificant things like marriage and start arguing about great philosophical questions of life: Is the comet a sign from God or is it just gravity? And what the hell is performance art?

    The one page second act (that’s right the second act is one page long) does something no play has ever attempted in the history of theatre - it lets the audience in on the meaning of life.
  • Forgiving John Lennon (Dramatic Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    3
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 2 more
    ·
    Keyword: Muslim, free speech + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, drama, political
    Keyword: Muslim, free speech, cultural diversity, Islamophobia, diverse cast, strong female characters
    This darkly comic drama was inspired by the cancellation of Ayaan Hirsi Ali's commencement speech at Brandeis in 2014, the Charlie Hebdo attacks and my own personal travels through the Middle East. When an April Fool’s prank goes wrong, the Muslim students at a small liberal arts college file a complaint. Two professors deal with the problem by booking a poet from Somalia to give the college’s commencement...
    This darkly comic drama was inspired by the cancellation of Ayaan Hirsi Ali's commencement speech at Brandeis in 2014, the Charlie Hebdo attacks and my own personal travels through the Middle East. When an April Fool’s prank goes wrong, the Muslim students at a small liberal arts college file a complaint. Two professors deal with the problem by booking a poet from Somalia to give the college’s commencement speech. Fresh off the plane, the poet doesn’t understand the college’s political correctness, nor does the poet fit the professors’ preconceived stereotype of a Muslim woman. With the possible cancellation of the speech looming, all three are forced to confront the issues of diversity and the suppression of free speech on college campuses. Forgiving John Lennon was originally produced as a one act but is now a two act, full-length ready to be developed.
  • Headset - A View From The Light Booth (Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    4–5
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce
    ·
    Keyword: backstage, Farce + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, farce
    Keyword: backstage, Farce, theatre, comedy, contemporary
    PUBLISHED BY HEUER PUBLISHING

    Headset, a view from the light booth is a comedy about the technical side of theatre. The entire play takes place in the Light Booth of the Chicago-Ensemble-Repertory-Group-Theatre-Project, on the final night of the Company’s questionable production of Hamlet. Everything that can go wrong does.

    The Los Angeles Times called it “A delightfully funny...
    PUBLISHED BY HEUER PUBLISHING

    Headset, a view from the light booth is a comedy about the technical side of theatre. The entire play takes place in the Light Booth of the Chicago-Ensemble-Repertory-Group-Theatre-Project, on the final night of the Company’s questionable production of Hamlet. Everything that can go wrong does.

    The Los Angeles Times called it “A delightfully funny play." While Kevin Fox of the Company of Lost Souls wrote, "Headset is that rare sort of play that gives audiences a look at the chaos that often happens behind the scenes of theatrical productions… very, very funny."
  • Seagulls In A Cherry Tree (Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    8
    ·
    Genre: adaptation, comedy + 2 more
    ·
    Keyword: Chekhov, Hollywood + 5 more
    Genre: adaptation, comedy, drama, romantic comedy
    Keyword: Chekhov, Hollywood, strong female characters, social commentary, dark, funny, contemporary
    PUBLISHED BY HEUER PUBLISHING

    Seagulls In A Cherry Tree is a Chekhovian comedy about Boris and Stan, two Hollywood screenwriters who have been hired by Disney to adapt Chekhov's The Cherry Orchard into a new movie for Mel Gibson. In order to finish the stalled adaptation and get away from L.A.’s smog, they trek to an isolated Arts Colony just outside Moscow, Idaho. The colony is full of...
    PUBLISHED BY HEUER PUBLISHING

    Seagulls In A Cherry Tree is a Chekhovian comedy about Boris and Stan, two Hollywood screenwriters who have been hired by Disney to adapt Chekhov's The Cherry Orchard into a new movie for Mel Gibson. In order to finish the stalled adaptation and get away from L.A.’s smog, they trek to an isolated Arts Colony just outside Moscow, Idaho. The colony is full of navel-gazing, self-indulgent, philosophizing, chronically indecisive Chekhovian artists, actress and doctors.

    All plot points in Seagulls In A Cherry come from Chekhov’s plays (The Cherry Orchard, Three Sisters, Uncle Vanya and The Seagull), plus a touch of invention, all of which have been rearranged and shaped to form the first new Chekhov play in a hundred years. In the end Stan and Boris (just like many Americans today) never realize that they are in fact living in a Chekhovian world.

    The Orlando Sentinel compared to Woody Allen was lampooning Bergman in A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy or Tolstoy in Love and Death.
  • Dead White Males (Dramatic Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    7
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: teaching, Jewish + 1 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, drama
    Keyword: teaching, Jewish, comedy
    PUBLISHED BY PLAYSCRIPTS

    Semi-Finalist @ The Eugene O’Neill

    Dead White Males is a contemporary, issue-oriented, dark-comedy about the religious right, our schools, and the politics of teaching.

    The play uses epic theatre staging techniques to tell the story of Janet Greenberg, a young, idealistic, first year teacher who struggles against a school board dominated by...
    PUBLISHED BY PLAYSCRIPTS

    Semi-Finalist @ The Eugene O’Neill

    Dead White Males is a contemporary, issue-oriented, dark-comedy about the religious right, our schools, and the politics of teaching.

    The play uses epic theatre staging techniques to tell the story of Janet Greenberg, a young, idealistic, first year teacher who struggles against a school board dominated by the religious right. They wants to ban sex education, Holden Caulfield and evolution from the classroom.

    Janet learns how to write a "proper" self evaluation, how to censor musicals so that they are fit for "young minds", how to deal with countless new mandates, endless curriculum changes, petty political games, all the while learning how to cover her ass in a world dominated by constant accountability.

    When Doris, Janet's best friend, has a nervous breakdown (while being forced to teach creationism in her science class) Janet is called to testify against her. She must name names or lose her own job.

    In the end, Janet learns why there aren't a lot of risk-takers in teaching.
  • Jewish Sports Heroes & Texas Intellectuals (Comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    3
    ·
    Genre: comedy
    ·
    Keyword: comedy, daughter-father relationship + 1 more
    Genre: comedy
    Keyword: comedy, daughter-father relationship, Texas comedy
    A comedy about a women who comes home to Texas to confront the dogma of her sexist, egotistical, cowboy, philosopher father. Darla Cook has good news to tell her father. She has just been artificially inseminated and is going to have a baby. Tired of men in general and her father in particular she is going to have a child without any male contact whatsoever.

    Her father is a cowboy who was...
    A comedy about a women who comes home to Texas to confront the dogma of her sexist, egotistical, cowboy, philosopher father. Darla Cook has good news to tell her father. She has just been artificially inseminated and is going to have a baby. Tired of men in general and her father in particular she is going to have a child without any male contact whatsoever.

    Her father is a cowboy who was divorced by Darla's mother twenty years ago when he had an affair with philosopher Ayn Rand. He's since taken Rand's followers to new levels of selfishness. Henry associates femininity and feminism with youth, as if it were something to grow out of.

    Their confrontation is the core of this play about masculine and feminine ways of looking at the life, love and happiness. When stupid football player Johnny Galt arrives, it is discovered that he may be the sperm donor and Darla's day takes a turn for the worse. When she discovers that Henry's days are numbered, Darla must grow up fast. She rejects her "women who love too much" view of the world and becomes a strong feminist who doesn't need her father's approval (as much).
  • Innocent Thoughts (Drama) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: drama
    ·
    Keyword: Race, race relations + 3 more
    Genre: drama
    Keyword: Race, race relations, lawyers, Black lawyer, two-hander
    PUBLISHED BY NEXT STAGE PRESS

    Arlen Wienberg, a Jewish anthropologist, is called to be an expert witness in a murder trial. The accused: a white police officer. His alleged crime: murdering a black man twenty years ago and burying the bones in the dirt floor beneath his brownstone. When Arlen arrives, he is shocked to discover that the defense lawyer is black.

    Ira Altridge the...
    PUBLISHED BY NEXT STAGE PRESS

    Arlen Wienberg, a Jewish anthropologist, is called to be an expert witness in a murder trial. The accused: a white police officer. His alleged crime: murdering a black man twenty years ago and burying the bones in the dirt floor beneath his brownstone. When Arlen arrives, he is shocked to discover that the defense lawyer is black.

    Ira Altridge the black lawyer isn't having a good day. His first expert witness has suddenly resigned giving him only one thin lunch hour to get his new anthropologist up to speed.

    Soon the two men discover that they know each other. They both grew up in the same suburb of Chicago. Ira called it Lawndale. Arlen, Judenstrasse. Some thirty years ago the suburb was a Jewish neighborhood, but now it's all black. Ira and Arlen grew up together during the neighborhood's rocky transition. In fact Arlen’s father was Ira’s landlord.

    Arlen begins to suspect that he is being set up. He wonders if Ira really wants to defend officer McDill or if he has another agenda. Race and political correctness are at the center of this compact two hander.
  • The Trial of Ayn Rand by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: docudrama/historic, drama
    ·
    Keyword: Ayn Rand, strong female character + 2 more
    Genre: docudrama/historic, drama
    Keyword: Ayn Rand, strong female character, 20th century American women's history, laissez-faire capitalism
    The shadow of Ayn Rand (The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged) looms large in the world today. Her thoughts on unregulated capitalism and selfishness have influenced everything from the Tea Party to her close friend and disciple Alan Greenspan, who served as Chairman of the Federal Reserve for nearly twenty years. Her philosophies are to Fortune 500 CEO’s what Scientology is to movies stars.

    In this...
    The shadow of Ayn Rand (The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged) looms large in the world today. Her thoughts on unregulated capitalism and selfishness have influenced everything from the Tea Party to her close friend and disciple Alan Greenspan, who served as Chairman of the Federal Reserve for nearly twenty years. Her philosophies are to Fortune 500 CEO’s what Scientology is to movies stars.

    In this small two-character play I place Ayn on trial and ask the audience to be the jury and vote on which ending the play will have – guilty or not guilty. Were her thoughts on laissez-faire capitalism the fountainhead that led to our current economic situation? Have her philosophies on selfishness led to Social Darwinism? Did she, in her personal life, live up to her heroes such as John Galt?

    The trial covers the strengths of her philosophies but also her drug use, affair with a man half her age, and temperament. From her appearance before the House Committee on Un-American activities, to her influence over the Federal Reserve this play presents both sides of the argument and lets the audience vote on how the play will end (just as in Ayn’s play The Night of January 16th).

    The Trial of Ayn Rand is an interactive play that will lead to post-performance discussions.
  • Uncle Vanya by Chekhov - Adaptation by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    9
    ·
    Genre: adaptation, comedy
    ·
    Keyword: Chekhov, Uncle Vanya
    Genre: adaptation, comedy
    Keyword: Chekhov, Uncle Vanya
    A new adaptation for smaller theatres
  • A Doll House by Ibsen - Adaptation by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    8
    ·
    Genre: adaptation, drama
    ·
    Keyword: Henryk Ibsen, Doll House + 2 more
    Genre: adaptation, drama
    Keyword: Henryk Ibsen, Doll House, new adaptation, New version of The Doll House
    PUBLISHED BY NEXT STAGE PRESS

    A new (two act) adaptation of Ibsen's classic drama designed for smaller theatre companies.
  • The Scopes Monkey Trial by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    12
    ·
    Genre: docudrama/historic
    ·
    Keyword: The Scopes Monkey Trial, readers theatre
    Genre: docudrama/historic
    Keyword: The Scopes Monkey Trial, readers theatre
    This is not Inherit the Wind, the 1955 play written by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee. Inherit the Wind used only a handful of lines from the original trial. Unlike Inherit the Wind this play has been drawn from the actual 1925 trial and edited into a 90 minute play. In fact, almost 99% of this play comes directly from the 1925 trial transcripts.

    By being more accurate, I hope to show how...
    This is not Inherit the Wind, the 1955 play written by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee. Inherit the Wind used only a handful of lines from the original trial. Unlike Inherit the Wind this play has been drawn from the actual 1925 trial and edited into a 90 minute play. In fact, almost 99% of this play comes directly from the 1925 trial transcripts.

    By being more accurate, I hope to show how little things have changed in the year since the trial. For the issues brought up by the trial (separation of church and state, academic freedom and the tensions between religion and science) are still prevalent.

    This play also uses gender-neutral casting and stages the trial as if it were happening today.

    This play also works as readers theatre.
  • Expiration Date (10-minute comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy
    ·
    Keyword: comedy, dating + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy
    Keyword: comedy, dating, end of relationship, Romantic, dismemberment
    A comedy about how nothing lasts forever, even love.
  • #2. (A 10-minute comedy) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    3
    ·
    Genre: comedy
    ·
    Keyword: comedy 10-minute Comedy
    Genre: comedy
    Keyword: comedy 10-minute Comedy
    Short comedy about etiquette and manners, forgetting to flush.
  • How Straight, White, Privileged, Male Academics Talk In Private (10 minute) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: academics, Race
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, political
    Keyword: academics, Race
    A ten minute play about how straight, white, privileged, male academics talk To each other in private!
  • Fuera De Orbita ( Comedy in Spanish) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce
    ·
    Keyword: Spanish, comedy
    Genre: comedy, farce
    Keyword: Spanish, comedy
    Fuera De Orbita es una comedia sobre dos artistas de performance Dada que han construido un teatro en su sala de estar. Cada noche antes de una audiencia en vivo actúan sus vidas. Usted ha oído hablar de la televisión de la realidad; pensar en ello como teatro de la realidad. Artaud estaría orgulloso de ellos.

    Las cosas van de mal en peor cuando descubren que un cometa ha sido detectado en el...
    Fuera De Orbita es una comedia sobre dos artistas de performance Dada que han construido un teatro en su sala de estar. Cada noche antes de una audiencia en vivo actúan sus vidas. Usted ha oído hablar de la televisión de la realidad; pensar en ello como teatro de la realidad. Artaud estaría orgulloso de ellos.

    Las cosas van de mal en peor cuando descubren que un cometa ha sido detectado en el cielo nocturno. Hay una posibilidad de 50/50 que golpeará la tierra. Todo el mundo, incluido el público, puede tener sólo una hora para vivir. Esto obliga a los padres a dejar de discutir sobre cosas insignificantes como el matrimonio y empezar a discutir sobre grandes cuestiones filosóficas de la vida: ¿Es el cometa un signo de Dios o es sólo la gravedad? ¿Y qué diablos es arte de performance?
  • ХОРОШИЙ ПАРЕНЬ (Comedy in Russian) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: comedy
    ·
    Keyword: Comedy In Russian, Russian Comedy
    Genre: comedy
    Keyword: Comedy In Russian, Russian Comedy
    Cockeyed - это комедия о философском понимании Декарта «Я думаю, поэтому я есть». Это история среднего философа философии, который влюблен в недостижимую женщину своей мечты. Единственная проблема в том, что у нее стеклянный глаз и смотрит сквозь него. Вскоре ему приходит в голову, что она не нарциссична, но на самом деле его не видит. Он объясняет, что единственная логическая задача - перебраться с ней и...
    Cockeyed - это комедия о философском понимании Декарта «Я думаю, поэтому я есть». Это история среднего философа философии, который влюблен в недостижимую женщину своей мечты. Единственная проблема в том, что у нее стеклянный глаз и смотрит сквозь него. Вскоре ему приходит в голову, что она не нарциссична, но на самом деле его не видит. Он объясняет, что единственная логическая задача - перебраться с ней и сожителем - несмотря на то, что она не знает о его существовании. Его можно назвать комедией Вуди Аллена. (3 мужчины, 1 женщина, комплект)
    Cockeyed - eto komediya o filosofskom ponimanii Dekarta «YA dumayu, poetomu ya yest'». Eto istoriya srednego filosofa filosofii, kotoryy vlyublen v nedostizhimuyu zhenshchinu svoyey mechty. Yedinstvennaya problema v tom, chto u neye steklyannyy glaz i smotrit skvoz' nego. Vskore yemu prikhodit v golovu, chto ona ne nartsissichna, no na samom dele yego ne vidit. On ob"yasnyayet, chto yedinstvennaya logicheskaya zadacha - perebrat'sya s ney i sozhitelem - nesmotrya na to, chto ona ne znayet o yego sushchestvovanii. Yego mozhno nazvat' komediyey Vudi Allena. (3 muzhchiny, 1 zhenshchina, komplekt
  • Ein Blick Aus Der Beleuchterkabine (Comedy in German) by William Missouri Downs
    Cast: 
    5
    ·
    Genre: comedy, farce
    ·
    Keyword: German
    Genre: comedy, farce
    Keyword: German
    Ein Blick Aus Der Beleuchterkabine ist eine Komödie über die technische Seite des Theaters. Das ganze Spiel findet im Lichtkabinen des Chicago-Ensemble-Repertory-Group-Theater-Projektes statt, in der letzten Nacht der fragwürdigen Produktion von Hamlet. Alles, was schief gehen kann, ist Die Los Angeles Times nannte es "Ein herrlich lustiges Spiel." Während Kevin Fox von der Firma der verlorenen Seelen...
    Ein Blick Aus Der Beleuchterkabine ist eine Komödie über die technische Seite des Theaters. Das ganze Spiel findet im Lichtkabinen des Chicago-Ensemble-Repertory-Group-Theater-Projektes statt, in der letzten Nacht der fragwürdigen Produktion von Hamlet. Alles, was schief gehen kann, ist Die Los Angeles Times nannte es "Ein herrlich lustiges Spiel." Während Kevin Fox von der Firma der verlorenen Seelen schrieb: "Headset ist das seltene Spiel, das dem Publikum einen Blick auf das Chaos gibt, das oft hinter den Kulissen der Theaterproduktionen geschieht ... sehr sehr lustig."