John Busser

12 MINUTES - Three people involved with a Turing test for AI aren’t sure who’s on which side of the experiment.

10 MINUTES - A maintenance worker on call for clean-up duty in the parking lot of a rural strip mall tells a tale of Divine Intervention when a tornado the night before sent some unusual debris his way.*

*Special thanks to Barb Dragony for the strange real-life sighting that prompted this.

10 MINUTE - At a cemetery, a son helps his father attempt to mend fences between him and his long lost wife before it’s too late.

Revised 09/21

10 MINUTE - Will our lovers (one handed stevedore John and multiple named ingenue Vivian/Miriam/Marian) find the love that’s eluded them for so long, or will Vivian’s shocking past prove too much? Stay tuned for another exciting updated draft which may or may not answer those questions.

15 Minutes - It’ll take a miracle to get through being arrested when you’re Peter, Paul and Jesus Christ. Just not the kind the Disciples were expecting...

10 MINUTE - (Monologue) A recent widow is able to keep the lines of communication going when her late husband reincarnates in an unexpected way.

10 Minutes - During an evening blizzard, a young man attempts to connect with a dying mother who doesn’t remember him.

5-10 MINUTES - The door was bolted, the windows locked. There was no way he was getting in. Well, maybe one way...

10 MINUTES - When Allen took a wrong turn in UFO country, he ends up in the last place he wants to be.

10 MINUTE - (Monologue) A tour at THIS museum is all fun and games until someone gets killed.

10 MINUTE - A suspect in a murder creates a scene during his interrogation. Many scenes, actually. And why does that one cop keep ringing a bell?

Annnd Scene (of the Crime) has been included in the Smith & Kraus Best Ten Minute Plays of 2022 collection.

12 MINUTE - They love you just as far away as you are.

10 MINUTE - Because who doesn’t enjoy a nice, friendly, cut-throat game of golf?

10 MINUTE - When the 50-ft Woman and the Amazing Colossal Man go out on a date, it’s a night on the town… literally

10 MINUTES - A funeral scene goes awry when the dead (possibly lead) character realizes she may have
chosen to accept the wrong part.

10-15 MINUTE - (Multiple Monologues) The weather outside may be frightful, but these kid’s Christmas lists are even more so.

90 MINUTES-2 HOURS - What do Mother Teresa, one bad driver, a man telling tall tales to his granddaughter, a missing golf ball, a brand new car, a hero running out of time, the misspellings of children and Satan himself have in common? They’re all fodder for the not-quite-right mind of writer John Busser. These seven one-act plays take you from Calcutta to Mexico, with side trips to golf courses, hospital waiting rooms, suburban homes, and car dealerships. Oh, he’ll also take you to Hell and back for good measure.

A collaboration with John Busser (who, truth be told, did most of the heavy lifting and deserves most of the credit, or blame if you prefer).

10 MINUTE - When standup comic Cicero Lipschitz lost the gig of a lifetime, there’s only one man he can turn to. Better call Shoenstein!

Featuring characters mentioned only once in Morey's WHEN IN ROME and John's RELEASE THE KAREN, but their story needs to be told. See what you made us do?

15-20 MINUTES - Will Janice find true love and a bargain on vacation costs? One spiritual medium shakes things up when she says “All signs point to YES!”

15 MINUTE - A new hire finds out how to move sideways to success.

10 MINUTE - Welcome to Neovation. We’re confident that this will be your dream job. As long as you are too.

A collaboration with Morey Norkin (who frankly, should have known better than to collaborate with me)

10 MINUTE - When standup comic Cicero Lipschitz lost the gig of a lifetime, there’s only one man he can turn to. Better call Shoenstein!

Featuring characters mentioned only once in Morey's WHEN IN ROME and John's RELEASE THE KAREN, but their story needs to be told. See what you made us do?

15 MINUTES - Death is definitely a headache for one unlucky travel agent.

15 MINUTE - Table for two turns out to be a table for four. Even if two of them don’t necessarily like it.

10 MINUTE - In an evil secret hideout, something has gone wrong. Dr. Wu is dead. Who did it? And why?

10 MINUTES - When the women of the Miskatonic University Ladies Auxiliary Book Club get together to drink some wine and discuss the club’s latest selection, it becomes evident pretty quickly who actually read the damned thing…

10 MINUTES - At Uncle Maxie’s Discount House of Philosophy, you can get all your fundamental questions of existence answered... for a price (half off on Tuesdays).

Uncle Maxie's monologue has been included in the Smith & Kraus Best Men's Monologues of 2023 collection.

A short monologue from Uncle Maxie (think Danny Devito with a toga) as he describes his store wares to new customers Doria and Horace.

15 Minutes - A woman looks out into her garden area and wonders why, with such a beautiful old bird
feeder in her yard, that nothing ever seems to use it. But something does...

NOTE: This play contains some references of spousal abuse.

15 Minute - Prince Adam has a problem with his castle and arch enemy Skeletor is bound and
determined to help him. Although HE may not be the one who is bound.

NOTE: This was an experiment to write a play using the autocorrect text feature as a way to alter the
narrative. At points in the play, I used my phone's autocorrect predictive text feature to choose what was
typed. I did not alter this procedure although I did not use it on everything. just where I wanted to
change up the narrative. I then altered the story to reflect whatever odd choices came up. This was done
to see if I could make the story work despite whatever text was written.
I don't know if this succeeded or not. You decide.

10-15 Minute - Actors in a play are at the mercy of their stage directions. Although “mercy” is probably
the wrong word.

NOTE: I wanted to try something a little different with this play and so, I have two scripts here. The first is for the Stage Directions character (who is actually in the play), whose dialogue IS the stage directions of the play. ((There ARE some actual stage directions specifically for the SD character that are double-bracketed.))

The second script is for the other actors and contains none of the stage directions. They will only HEAR the Sage Directions character dialogue, therefore they must listen and follow the directions OF the Stage Directions character. At certain points, I allowed some leeway to improvise for the Stage Directions character, that would let him/her direct some of the comedic moments on the stage. This could lengthen or shorten the play dependent on how much the actors are played with.

I hope that isn't as confusing to you as it was to figure it out at first. I don't know if it will work, but I gave it a shot.

15 MINUTE - A priest has his job cut out for him when a very special woman drops by with a need to confess.

8-10 MINUTES - (Monologue) A woman, recently downsized, finds a new way to make ends meet, with the help of all the men who kept their jobs while she lost hers.

10 MINUTE - It’s Mother’s Day in Hell and someone’s mom isn’t feeling particularly evil. It’s up to her devoted son to help her make the worst of a good day.

10 MINUTE - It’s Mother’s Day in Hell and someone’s mom isn’t feeling particularly evil. It’s up to her devoted son to help her make the worst of a good day.

Reworked for audio presentation.

10 MINUTE - A Tooth Fairy on the verge of unemployment finds a new way to generate revenue that won’t cost the company an arm and a leg. The same can’t be said of the customers though.

15-20 MINUTE - A love triangle between a man, a woman and a Golden Retriever with an unfortunate drinking problem.

10 MINUTE - All that stands between life and possible death for two survivors of a biological disaster is a good dog looking out for them both.

15 MINUTE - A woman wants a grandchild from her son and is going to wait well past her expiration date to get it.

15 MINUTES - Bill needs to keep a secret from a new love interest, and he goes to the one man who can
help sweep that secret under the rug. A very special rug...

1 MINUTE - A little late-night cuddling gets a rude interruption.

10 MINUTES - It’s a bumpy ride for Amelia Earhart with a full bladder and a trans Atlantic flight well under way.
NOTE: This could easily be adapted as a radio play

10 MINUTE - When Arthur decides to tell dinner date Orianna his big secret, things turn hairy in a hurry. Or maybe furry in a hurry is a better way to put it.

10 MINUTE - Meet Carl Dimby, a mild-mannered man who needed some help to turn him into a hero. But being a hero takes more than lip service from the world’s greatest voice-over artist.

10-15 MINUTE - Finch wanted a car. He’ll get a deal on it, whether he wants it or not.

10 Minutes - A rampaging Creature with only one thing on its mind! Win at all costs! While the Democrats tremble...It Came From the Far Right!

10 MINUTE - Hard drinking P.I. Cliff Hammond attempts to solve a murder in his office, but everyone (including the deceased) has their own thoughts on the matter.

10 MINUTE - Tarzan looks for love in the Concrete Jungle.

10 MINUTES - The long arm of the law gets an online upgrade for one unlucky driver.

10 MINUTE - A suburban family finds out the true meaning of Easter when a Heavenly visitor drops in to set them straight. And he won’t be walking on any Easter eggshells when he does it.

10 MINUTES - A couple wonders if their marriage is strong enough for the truth.

Originally written in 2008, revised slightly in 2024.

10-15 MINUTES - A series of letters from a young Civil War soldier and the object of his desires opens up a
whole new front in the battle of the sexes.

10 MINUTES - Daisy, an artificial life form considers the role she plays in society while sizing up the competition, an old mutt named Champ. (A monologue)

10 MINUTE - When a woman who feels like she’s no longer at the top of her game won’t come down off
the top of her house, it’s up to a couple of New York’s Finest to come to the rescue.

10 MINUTE - A TED talk long on commitment but short on vision. Ted’s vision, that is.

NOTE: THIS WAS AN EXPERIMENT TO WRITE A PLAY USING THE AUTOCORRECT TEXT FEATURE AS A WAY TO ALTER THE NARRATIVE. AT POINTS IN THE PLAY I USED MY PHONE'S AUTOCORRECT PREDICTIVE TEXT FEATURE TO CHOOSE WHAT WAS TYPED. I DID NOT ALTER THIS PROCEDURE ALTHOUGH I DID NOT USE IT ON EVERYTHING. JUST WHERE I WANTED TO CHANGE UP THE NARRATIVE. I THEN ALTERED THE STORY TO REFLECT WHATEVER ODD CHOICES CAME UP. THIS WAS DONE TO SEE IF I COULD MAKE THE STORY WORK DESPITE WHATEVER TEXT WAS WRITTEN. (I don't know if this succeeded or not. You decide.)

10 MINUTE - As your regular monster is currently indisposed, meet, Mr. Spinoza. He’ll be your substitute creature for today.

* inspired by fellow playwright Evan Baughfman

10 MINUTE - As your regular monster is currently indisposed, meet, Mr. Spinoza. He’ll be your substitute creature for today. Reworked for audio.

* inspired by fellow playwright Evan Baughfman

10 MINUTE - When Dad just can’t seem to laugh it up, it may be time for a new medication, fast-acting MorNorkin, serious medicine for serious dads!

*a small tribute to a couple of fellow playwrights. They'll know who they are.

1 MINUTE - Some girls can’t be controlled when they are unleashed... or leashed

20 MINUTE - Two Alpha males attempt to negotiate leaving a parking lot without losing face, patience or any more car parts.

15 MINUTE - When the Italian mob wants to pay respects to one of their own, public health concerns threaten the sendoff.

10 MINUTE - (Monologue) Events take a wrong turn for a driver’s ed teacher trying to do what he was trained for.

ONE ACT (APPROX 30 MIN) - An old man tells his granddaughter the real reason behind Grandma’s trip to the hospital.

10 MINUTE - Jacquie's got the part. Now she just needs someone to look at it.

10 MINUTE - A pirate crew in search of a sweet treasure finds the downside of having a big booty.

NOTE: THIS WAS AN EXPERIMENT TO WRITE A PLAY USING THE AUTOCORRECT TEXT FEATURE AS A WAY TO ALTER THE NARRATIVE. AT POINTS IN THE PLAY I USED MY PHONE'S AUTOCORRECT PREDICTIVE TEXT FEATURE TO CHOOSE WHAT WAS TYPED. I DID NOT ALTER THIS PROCEDURE ALTHOUGH I DID NOT USE IT ON EVERYTHING. JUST WHERE I WANTED TO CHANGE UP THE NARRATIVE. I THEN ALTERED THE STORY TO REFLECT WHATEVER ODD CHOICES CAME UP. THIS WAS DONE TO SEE IF I COULD MAKE THE STORY WORK DESPITE WHATEVER TEXT WAS WRITTEN. (I don't know if this succeeded or not. You decide.)

10-12 MINUTE - (Monologue) Blue Screen of Death? Call our Tech Support wizards today. We’ll help you out... or die trying.

10 MINUTES - Samuel L. Jackson and Quentin Tarantino have made many classic films. But what happens when they fall into a mousetrap?

1 MINUTE - A film that will probably never happen...

(10 MINUTES) - A city under siege in 332 BC is attacked by their foe’s most fearsome weapon of all, and she’s not leaving till she finds some olives.

The Karen's monologue has been included in the Smith & Kraus Best Women's Monologues of 2022 collection.

10 MINUTE - An actor proves he’s got the right stuff to take on any role. Even the wrong one.

10 MINUTE - A tiring, late-night drive on the interstate takes a turn for the weird when a couple has to decide whether the car hit something or someone... or not

10 MINUTES - Three women confronting a supernatural masked killer of promiscuous teens attempt to save themselves by bragging about their sexual exploits. Not their own, of course...

10-15 MINUTE - A woman tending her garden decides she’s had enough of her little sister borrowing everything from her, and decides she wants one very important thing back.

10 MINUTE - Two people begin the process of courting... if only they could get off their phones and off
their asses to sit next to each other.

NOTE: This was an experiment to write a play using the autocorrect text feature as a way to alter the narrative. At points in the play, I used my phone's autocorrect predictive text feature to choose what was typed. I did not alter this procedure although I did not use it on everything. just where I wanted to change up the narrative. I then altered the story to reflect whatever odd choices came up. This was done to see if I could make the story work despite whatever text was written.

I don't know if this succeeded or not. You decide.

10 MINUTES - A website using AI to create images of non-existent people may just have erased an existing one.

This is one half of an experiment to take the same basic idea and put two different spins on it. In this take, the story takes on a comedic absurd flavor and gets generally goofier in tone.

10 MINUTE - A literal “killer” science fair project prompts an after school discussion between a father and teacher.

12 MINUTES - A father driving his son to school wants to show his son some things he won’t learn in a classroom. But this kid has a few lessons of his own to teach.

Various (Between 1-5 Minutes)
SYNOPSIS: HOME INVASION - The door was bolted, the windows locked. There was no way he was getting in. Well, maybe one way...
SYNOPSIS: VIRGIN TERRITORY - There’s only one way to protect yourself from a killer of promiscuous teens. Unfortunately, it’s the least fun way...
SYNOPSIS: FINAL EPISODE - There’s a masked killer at the door who’s got a surprise for those kids inside. Sooner or later, they’re going to find out what it is...

Note: Plays can be performed as a trio OR may be used individually. Perhaps they can be interspersed throughout an evening of other pieces.

- Revised 7.6.24

10 MINUTE - One tax professional, three dogs, and a couple of misunderstandings.

15 MINUTES - A couple get their greatest wish, a baby on the way, but both have a few ideas about customizing the package before the big day.

10-15 MINUTE - Scientists trying to invent a time machine accidentally stumble onto a greater discovery; how to shed those unwanted holiday pounds.

10 MINUTE - (Monologue) Mother Teresa takes a cigarette break from Sainthood

10-15 MINUTE - Two men have a conversation in a restroom that will have dire consequences for one of them.

10-15 MINUTES - A University Professor must deal with a persistent caller who goes above and beyond to make him an offer he can’t refuse. Or perhaps the caller was already “above and beyond”...

10 MINUTE - In WWII, a young girl hiding out with her family must deal with confinement, boredom and the paparazzi amidst the horrors of war. (Also, the author had an unfortunate tendency to spellcheck with the autocorrect on)

NOTE: THIS WAS AN EXPERIMENT TO WRITE A PLAY USING THE AUTOCORRECT TEXT FEATURE AS A WAY TO ALTER THE NARRATIVE. AT POINTS IN THE PLAY I USED MY PHONE'S AUTOCORRECT PREDICTIVE TEXT FEATURE TO CHOOSE WHAT WAS TYPED. I DID NOT ALTER THIS PROCEDURE ALTHOUGH I DID NOT USE IT ON EVERYTHING. JUST WHERE I WANTED TO CHANGE UP THE NARRATIVE. I THEN ALTERED THE STORY TO REFLECT WHATEVER ODD CHOICES CAME UP. THIS WAS DONE TO SEE IF I COULD MAKE THE STORY WORK DESPITE WHATEVER TEXT WAS WRITTEN. (I don't know if this succeeded or not. You decide.)

10-15 MINUTE - The scientists of a newly-invented time machine attempt to put an end to an old matter of some importance to them.

10 MINUTES - It’s a wild Saturday night at fast food restaurant, The Meat Shack and the drive through crowd is out for blood, in more ways than one.

10-15 MINUTE - It's Picture Day at Lipincott High School and not quite everyone is excited to get their yearbook picture taken.

10 MINUTE - All is not well on the Island of Dr. Moreau when unexpected guests drop in. It appears the House of Pain has been double-booked.

10 MINUTES - With a report due in the morning, 2 desperate children plead with their father to show them
how to make use of “The Mandryk Effect”, a real world phenomena (I may or may not have made up.)

*A tribute to fellow playwright, comedic genius and fastest writer I know, Greg Mandryk (who's work you should definitely check out on NPX)

15 MINUTE - It's a murder at the North Pole. Did Santa slay? Brick Fistula, hard-drinking, fast-talking, private eye is gonna find out who’s naughty... and who’s guilty!

10-15 MINUTE - Two low-level pyramid builders learn all about job security when their newest client moves in prematurely.

10-15 MINUTE - A man has trouble getting to sleep due to some unwanted visitors that are a lot closer than he thinks. If they're even there...

10 MINUTES - A website using AI to create images of non-existent people may just have erased an existing one.

This is one half of an experiment to take the same basic idea and put two different spins on it. In this take, the story takes on a Twilight-Zone flavor and gets generally darker in tone.

15 MINUTE - A man applies for a job he already had… or has? Will he or did he get the job? It’s a tense(s) situation.

1 MINUTE - The smallest things can be the greatest prizes.

10-15 MINUTES - (A radio play) Unless he learns to work with ordinary-looking physicians, new Doctor Vaughn will find himself in over his head, because he’s too handsome to practice medicine at... Ugly Doctor Hospital!

10-15 MINUTE - (Monologue) A few days before Christmas, a woman visits her comatose father in the hospital, and tells him why she will always be there for him.

10-15 MINUTE - It's curtains for intrepid adventurer Dash Malone as he runs up against his own worst enemy, his big mouth.

10 MINUTE - A brother and sister at the funeral home of their recently deceased mother have different
ways of dealing with life and death.

NOTE: This is a 10 minute version of the first scene of a full length comic-drama.

15 MINUTE - It’s hard to make a living in a pandemic economy. Especially when you’re a hitman who’s a bit of a high-risk germaphobe.

5 minutes - It’s a special anniversary for Janice tonight. Too bad her husband Gordon has no idea what it is. He’s going to have to do a lot of tongue wagging to get out of this one.

5 minutes - It’s a special anniversary for Janice tonight. Too bad her husband Gordon has no idea what it is. He’s going to have to do a lot of tongue wagging to get out of this one.