Sean Abley

Sean Abley

Sean Abley was born and raised in Helena, MT. After a stint in the theater department at the University of Montana, he moved to Chicago where he cofounded the Factory Theater. While there, he wrote, directed and appeared in over 20 shows, including ATTACK OF THE KILLER B’S (Backstage West Garland Award for the L.A. restaging), REEFER MADNESS (non-musical version), BITCHES, SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS: THE...
Sean Abley was born and raised in Helena, MT. After a stint in the theater department at the University of Montana, he moved to Chicago where he cofounded the Factory Theater. While there, he wrote, directed and appeared in over 20 shows, including ATTACK OF THE KILLER B’S (Backstage West Garland Award for the L.A. restaging), REEFER MADNESS (non-musical version), BITCHES, SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS: THE MUSICAL, NUCLEAR FAMILY, CORPSE GRINDERS, and P. After moving to Los Angeles, Sean’s playwriting career continued to flourish, with hundreds of productions of his two dozen-plus plays all across the U.S. and around the world including the musicals WELCOME TO THE AFTERLIFE! and HORROR HIGH: THE MUSICAL; the comedies THE ADVENTURES OF ROSE RED (SNOW WHITE’S LESS-FAMOUS SISTER), THE END OF THE WORLD (WITH PROM TO FOLLOW), and DR. FRANKINCENSE AND THE CHRISTMAS MONSTER; an ever increasing number of plays for high school actors; and the decidedly adult fare L.A. TOOL AND DIE: LIVE! A staff writing job on the YOU DON’T KNOW JACK cd-rom series opened the doors to scripted television, with multiple episodes of SO WEIRD (Disney Channel), SABRINA – THE ANIMATED SERIES (ABC), DIGIMON (Fox Kids) and MEGA BABIES (Fox Kids); pilots for MTV and Voxxy.com; and several animated pilots for Klasky-Csupo including TURBO SNAIL, SCHMUTZ, and BENCH PRESSLY AND SHO-GIRL (with Ahmet Zappa, starring Bruce Campbell and Tim Curry). In the “Where exactly does this fit in?” category, Sean also wrote the scripted material for the MEN IN BLACK: ALIEN ATTACK theme park attraction at Universal Studios Florida. Sean created the gay horror blog, Gay Of The Dead, one of the most popular blogs on Fangoria.com. Currently in his third year of the Hollins Playwrights Lab MFA program at Hollins University.

Plays

  • Horrible Shakespeare: A Mini-Musical
    A student field trip to Shakespeare's Globe Theatre in London takes a horrible turn...literally! In this 30-minute musical, a nameless tour guide leads the students into the sub-sub-sub basement of the theater, which houses the Horrible Productions of Shakespeare's Plays Museum. Each exhibit magically transports the tour group into the world of a truly wretched production of some of Shakespeare's...
    A student field trip to Shakespeare's Globe Theatre in London takes a horrible turn...literally! In this 30-minute musical, a nameless tour guide leads the students into the sub-sub-sub basement of the theater, which houses the Horrible Productions of Shakespeare's Plays Museum. Each exhibit magically transports the tour group into the world of a truly wretched production of some of Shakespeare's most famous works - "Romeo Mime vs. Clown Juliet," "Santa Hamlet," "Macbeth's Burgers," "Taming of the Real, Live Shrew" and "Twelfth Night of the Living Dead." This musical is perfect for festivals with time restrictions, in-class performances, or as one half of an evening of one-acts. Sheet music, demo tracks and performance karaoke tracks also available.
  • The RISE of the House of Usher
    Edgar Allan Poe’s famous short story, “The Fall of the House of Usher,” gets turned upside down in this sequel … of sorts! Far from the Gothic mood of the original story, this is a broad comedy-mystery with a little bit of the macabre thrown in for fun. Some characters from the original story, as well as a few new ones, are now trapped in a different mansion. They’ve been called together on this dark and stormy...
    Edgar Allan Poe’s famous short story, “The Fall of the House of Usher,” gets turned upside down in this sequel … of sorts! Far from the Gothic mood of the original story, this is a broad comedy-mystery with a little bit of the macabre thrown in for fun. Some characters from the original story, as well as a few new ones, are now trapped in a different mansion. They’ve been called together on this dark and stormy night by a mysterious host for a reading by Poe. The guests are unknown to each other, yet there must be a connection because one by one they disappear. It’s all deliciously spooky as lightning flashes, pendulums, and poisoned tea raise the play’s tension and dark humor. Actors are encouraged to break character and the fourth wall, as well as add physical bits if inspired to do so. The characters are aware that they are in a play, and can engage the audience socially when appropriate.
  • The One-Millionth Monkey
    In a dystopian future, almost a million years from now, one million monkeys randomly type, hoping to be the one who produces the complete works of William Shakespeare. But when a time-traveling Francis Bacon shows up, the Earth’s very existence is threatened.
  • Horrible: The Mayfly's Life
    A black comedy about the short and horrible birth, life, death and resurrection of Mayfly.
  • Camp Killspree
    A gay slasher parody live on stage! 1970: Deep in the forest at the Hard Log Men’s Resort a terrible murder takes place: The resort’s owner catches his lover in the arms of another man and cuts them to bits with a chainsaw. 1984: Twenty years later (you’re right, it doesn’t add up), Hard Log has been renovated into Camp Community, a summer camp for gay teenagers. As soon as the group of hot male counselors...
    A gay slasher parody live on stage! 1970: Deep in the forest at the Hard Log Men’s Resort a terrible murder takes place: The resort’s owner catches his lover in the arms of another man and cuts them to bits with a chainsaw. 1984: Twenty years later (you’re right, it doesn’t add up), Hard Log has been renovated into Camp Community, a summer camp for gay teenagers. As soon as the group of hot male counselors arrive to open the camp, the clothes come off, the sex and pot smoking begin… and so do the murders by a mysterious masked killer. Sexy and hilarious, CAMP KILLSPREE is the perfect late-night gay horror sex comedy for ballsy queer theater companies.
  • Attack of the Killer Bs
    While visiting their mother's grave in the cemetery, Glen and Barbara are attacked by the dead risen from the grave to feast upon the living. Glen is killed, but that doesn't stop him from coming back as a zombie to rescue his sister and flee Night of the Living Dead come to life. From Reefer Madness to Glen or Glenda, from Friday the 13th to Nightmare on Elm Street, from Attack of the 50 Foot Woman...
    While visiting their mother's grave in the cemetery, Glen and Barbara are attacked by the dead risen from the grave to feast upon the living. Glen is killed, but that doesn't stop him from coming back as a zombie to rescue his sister and flee Night of the Living Dead come to life. From Reefer Madness to Glen or Glenda, from Friday the 13th to Nightmare on Elm Street, from Attack of the 50 Foot Woman to Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Barbara and Glen battle their way from one B-movie menace to the next. Will they survive?
  • What Would Happen If...? Eight 10-Minute Tales Of Improbability
    Dr. Scientist hosts an evening of What would happen if? experiments like What if Cinderella was a vampire? (Cinderella: Bloodsucker), What if Peanut Butter never met Jelly? (Pantry Tales: A Matter of Flavor), What if the Three Stooges were rational people? (Stooge Upgrade), What if the Queen of England was a robot? (Queen Elizabeth: The Worlds Only Robot Queen!), What if Cleopatra hosted a talk show? (...
    Dr. Scientist hosts an evening of What would happen if? experiments like What if Cinderella was a vampire? (Cinderella: Bloodsucker), What if Peanut Butter never met Jelly? (Pantry Tales: A Matter of Flavor), What if the Three Stooges were rational people? (Stooge Upgrade), What if the Queen of England was a robot? (Queen Elizabeth: The Worlds Only Robot Queen!), What if Cleopatra hosted a talk show? (Cleopatras Ancient Egyptian Awesome Talk Show!), What if Winnie the Pooh was a ninja? (The Way of the Bear), What if 'Free Muffin Day' was a lot more dangerous? (Free Muffin Day) and What if all the bicycles in Britain had square wheels? (The Square-Wheeled Bicycles of London, England). This is a great evening of theater, OR you can break out each one-act for drama festivals and competitions!
  • We Wish You A Merry Spendmas!
    In this hilarious holiday satire set in the near future, Sprawl-Mart, a gigantic corporation, has purchased all merchandising rights to Christmas – even Santa Claus! Determined to rebrand the holiday to ‘Spendmas,’ evil Sprawl-Mart CEO Mr. Reed must battle the young and idealistic Ann Turner, who has had enough of holidays without sentiment. But can she enlist a happily retired Santa and a bunch of disgruntled...
    In this hilarious holiday satire set in the near future, Sprawl-Mart, a gigantic corporation, has purchased all merchandising rights to Christmas – even Santa Claus! Determined to rebrand the holiday to ‘Spendmas,’ evil Sprawl-Mart CEO Mr. Reed must battle the young and idealistic Ann Turner, who has had enough of holidays without sentiment. But can she enlist a happily retired Santa and a bunch of disgruntled elves in her cause? With dozens of big, colorful characters of all ages, and laughs for both the kids and adults, WE WISH YOU A MERRY SPENDMAS! is the perfect large cast holiday comedy.
  • Two-Faced: A Tragedy... Sort Of
    Mary Whatsername isn't popular or unpopular. She's just invisible. Now it's her senior year, and Mary is determined to make her mark on Generic High School in Your Town, USA. Through sheer force of will she manages to get on both the cheer squad and the mathletes team. But trouble is just around the corner when she's expected to cheer on the mathletes at the state Demathalon. Using the...
    Mary Whatsername isn't popular or unpopular. She's just invisible. Now it's her senior year, and Mary is determined to make her mark on Generic High School in Your Town, USA. Through sheer force of will she manages to get on both the cheer squad and the mathletes team. But trouble is just around the corner when she's expected to cheer on the mathletes at the state Demathalon. Using the conventions of Greek tragedy, TWO-FACED is the perfect comedy for schools looking for scripts with almost two dozen great roles for girls. The length is also perfect for festivals and conventions.
  • Princess Inchworm Measures The Ocean
    In the Kingdom of the Overgrown Field, Princess Inchworm is keen to use her inch-by-inch measuring skills to find out just how large the ocean is. But her father, King Inchworm, wants Isabella to give up on her adventures and marry Prince Dandy Longlegs, from the Kingdom of the Dusty Old Barn. “You’re one month old! It’s time to get married and prepare to be the new Queen!” The princess is determined to show...
    In the Kingdom of the Overgrown Field, Princess Inchworm is keen to use her inch-by-inch measuring skills to find out just how large the ocean is. But her father, King Inchworm, wants Isabella to give up on her adventures and marry Prince Dandy Longlegs, from the Kingdom of the Dusty Old Barn. “You’re one month old! It’s time to get married and prepare to be the new Queen!” The princess is determined to show her father, and the rest of the world, that she doesn’t have to be married, and definitely doesn’t have to give up adventuring, to be a good queen. With bright, colorful characters, girl power, and tons of audience participation, PRINCESS INCHWORM MEASURES THE OCEAN is the perfect play for young audiences and their parents!
  • The Most Popular Kid In School
    Ray Murphy, the student at Capital High School no one really knew or liked, has died. As the news sweeps across campus, suddenly the kid no one remembers has a school full of best friends grieving his passing. Within days of his death, Ray is posthumously transformed into a scholar and a savior, has the yearbook dedicated to him, and is elected prom king from the grave. He’s now the most popular kid in school...
    Ray Murphy, the student at Capital High School no one really knew or liked, has died. As the news sweeps across campus, suddenly the kid no one remembers has a school full of best friends grieving his passing. Within days of his death, Ray is posthumously transformed into a scholar and a savior, has the yearbook dedicated to him, and is elected prom king from the grave. He’s now the most popular kid in school… who isn’t in school anymore. With multilayered characters and realistic, truthful dialogue, THE MOST POPULAR KID IN SCHOOL examines the issues of popularity, how the caste system in high school really works, and our tendencies toward “I knew him!” when it will benefit us the most. This is a great play for young performers who want to flex their acting muscles.
  • Horror High: The Musical
    Everyone was a teenager once. Even vampires, zombies and werewolves. So, where can you find all of these classic movie monsters in all their teenage glory? Horror High! Join Bigfoot, Blair the Witch and Larry the Wolf among many others, as they battle the pitfalls of high school: romance, peer-pressure, body image and popularity - all with a musical twist! Georgia the Zombie can’t stop eating brains, Nosferata...
    Everyone was a teenager once. Even vampires, zombies and werewolves. So, where can you find all of these classic movie monsters in all their teenage glory? Horror High! Join Bigfoot, Blair the Witch and Larry the Wolf among many others, as they battle the pitfalls of high school: romance, peer-pressure, body image and popularity - all with a musical twist! Georgia the Zombie can’t stop eating brains, Nosferata the Vampire is experimenting with vegetarianism, and Victor Frankenstein might be taking science class a little too far. There is fun for all in this ode to classic horror movies of yesteryear. Modern humor and exciting music will keep your audiences screaming with laughter!
  • Horror High
    Horror High takes all of those horror film icons of long ago - Frankenstein, the Mummy, Creature from the Black Lagoon, etc. - and transforms them into high school teenagers in their senior year at Horror High School. Will Georgia the Zombie stop eating brains long enough to realize her Bigfoot boyfriend is unhappy on the football team? Will Blair the Witch be able to convince Victor Frankenstein that his...
    Horror High takes all of those horror film icons of long ago - Frankenstein, the Mummy, Creature from the Black Lagoon, etc. - and transforms them into high school teenagers in their senior year at Horror High School. Will Georgia the Zombie stop eating brains long enough to realize her Bigfoot boyfriend is unhappy on the football team? Will Blair the Witch be able to convince Victor Frankenstein that his monster isn't just a bunch of used parts? Will Nosferata the Vegetarian Vampire and Larry the Wolf ever be able to convince their parents a "mixed" relationship is okay? And will Miss Medusa, the computer teacher, be able to keep her sunglasses on without turning the entire student body to stone? Sixteen classic monsters make up the faculty and student body of HORROR HIGH!
  • Historically Bad First Dates
    On the edge of the Universe, Jenna and Achilles find themselves trapped in the offices of Millennium Relationship Services. Although they have never met, and have no idea of how they got there, this couple-to-be are taught how to avoid the pitfalls of relationships through crazily comic flashbacks to bad first dates throughout history, literature, and pop culture: Mark Antony and Cleopatra's disastrous...
    On the edge of the Universe, Jenna and Achilles find themselves trapped in the offices of Millennium Relationship Services. Although they have never met, and have no idea of how they got there, this couple-to-be are taught how to avoid the pitfalls of relationships through crazily comic flashbacks to bad first dates throughout history, literature, and pop culture: Mark Antony and Cleopatra's disastrous first date right after the assassination of her husband, Julius Caesar; Macbeth and the future Lady Macbeth, Latonya, meeting for the first time on the moors; the Blind Date of Frankenstein; George Washington revealing his paranoid delusions to Martha; and Uncle Sam and his mail-order bride, a very French Statue of Liberty. With a flexible cast allowing for many actors (or easy doubling), this one-act comedy is perfect for drama festivals and competitions, or just a great evening of comedy theater.
  • Exposed! Eight 10-minute Scenes About What Really Happened
    Welcome to "EXPOSED!" the show that reveals the truth behind famous people, characters and stories. Did Rumpelstiltskin really try to steal the princess' baby? Was Mr. Hyde really Miss Hyde? Was Charles Dickens really a frustrated stand-up comic? Was Robin Hood's sister really responsible for all that theft? "EXPOSED!" examines these stories plus Hansel and Gretel, Peter Pan, Willy...
    Welcome to "EXPOSED!" the show that reveals the truth behind famous people, characters and stories. Did Rumpelstiltskin really try to steal the princess' baby? Was Mr. Hyde really Miss Hyde? Was Charles Dickens really a frustrated stand-up comic? Was Robin Hood's sister really responsible for all that theft? "EXPOSED!" examines these stories plus Hansel and Gretel, Peter Pan, Willy Wonka, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella. Written to be either a full evening's worth of entertainment, or each scene broken out for drama festivals and competitions, EXPOSED! has something for everyone, both on stage and in the audience!
  • Elevator Games
    When an elevator breaks down between floors, Barb and Scott are confronted by a mysterious third passenger intent on turning their time together into a series of mind games. What are the rules? Who is winning? And just what is in that lunch bag he holds? The stakes are raised until all three are literally at each others' throats in this comedy for three strong high school performers.
  • Double Trouble on the Prairie
    Identical twins, Timothy and Jimothy Scrubb, aren't the smartest brothers in Virginia City. In fact, they won the Dumbest Twins in the Montana Territory contest. But when Victor Horrible (that's Horr-EE-blay) swoops into town and begins killing off the shareholders of the Opera House in a plot to replace it with a new development, The Scrubb Brothers must use their collective smarts to save the...
    Identical twins, Timothy and Jimothy Scrubb, aren't the smartest brothers in Virginia City. In fact, they won the Dumbest Twins in the Montana Territory contest. But when Victor Horrible (that's Horr-EE-blay) swoops into town and begins killing off the shareholders of the Opera House in a plot to replace it with a new development, The Scrubb Brothers must use their collective smarts to save the theater and Miss Mary Sarah Sue Laura's reputation!
  • The End of the World (With Prom to Follow)
    No parents, no siblings, no teachers. It might sound like a dream to some high schoolers, but for the teenagers of Great Falls, Montana, it is the stuff of reality. They awake one morning to find a Wall of Light encircling their town, and everyone but the student body has vanished. On top of that, the light is moving inward and their town is steadily disappearing. In the face of this mystery, the students band...
    No parents, no siblings, no teachers. It might sound like a dream to some high schoolers, but for the teenagers of Great Falls, Montana, it is the stuff of reality. They awake one morning to find a Wall of Light encircling their town, and everyone but the student body has vanished. On top of that, the light is moving inward and their town is steadily disappearing. In the face of this mystery, the students band together...and splinter apart. What can they do to stop it? What′s on the other side? Will there still be time for one last dance? An exciting drama/comedy for a large student cast, this play explores mortality, friendship, and the survival of ethics when survival itself is at stake.
  • Dracula's Daughters: A Family Comedy
    When a production of Dracula is taken over by an audience member who demands more romance, Dracula marries Mina and moves to the suburbs of Transylvania to raise their two daughters. The Count of Darkness has all the problems you might expect of the father of two half-vampire daughters, from garlic experimentation to rebellious blood drinking.
  • Dr. Frankincense and the Christmas Monster
    In Christmas Village, there is only one holiday and only one outsider, Dr. Frankincense. The villagers are convinced the Doctor is an evil, mad scientist and are constantly storming his castle and having after-mob potlucks. But Dr. Frankincense isn't evil at all, and he's created the ultimate proof of his good-hearted inventiveness: The Christmas Monster! But when Jack Frost, the Ghost of Christmas...
    In Christmas Village, there is only one holiday and only one outsider, Dr. Frankincense. The villagers are convinced the Doctor is an evil, mad scientist and are constantly storming his castle and having after-mob potlucks. But Dr. Frankincense isn't evil at all, and he's created the ultimate proof of his good-hearted inventiveness: The Christmas Monster! But when Jack Frost, the Ghost of Christmas Past, Frosty and other suspicious locals put Dr. Frankincense on trial for crimes against the holiday, will his invention be enough to save him from jail?
  • Bad Substitute
    Ms. Rabbitoff, an insane Francis Bacon enthusiast, poses as a substitute teacher and takes an AP English class hostage in an attempt to convince them that Bacon was the real genius behind Shakespeare's plays. By acting out imagined versions of Shakespearean plays (sometimes hilariously blended with other great works of literature), Rabbitoff and the students battle it out to prove who knows more about the...
    Ms. Rabbitoff, an insane Francis Bacon enthusiast, poses as a substitute teacher and takes an AP English class hostage in an attempt to convince them that Bacon was the real genius behind Shakespeare's plays. By acting out imagined versions of Shakespearean plays (sometimes hilariously blended with other great works of literature), Rabbitoff and the students battle it out to prove who knows more about the literary canon. Only the students can defend Shakespeare's great name, and fight for their right to attend their next class.
  • The Adventures of Rose Red (Snow White's Less-Famous Sister)
    Rose Red has just turned thirteen, and the pressure is on -- what will she do to get famous like her sister, Snow White? Everyone in the kingdom, from her parents to her close friend Miss Muffet, is pressuring her to get discovered. But Rose Red doesn't want to constantly be on the front page of the Grimm Times, even if Bo Peep, Cinderella, and Goldilocks eat up the attention. In her struggle to choose...
    Rose Red has just turned thirteen, and the pressure is on -- what will she do to get famous like her sister, Snow White? Everyone in the kingdom, from her parents to her close friend Miss Muffet, is pressuring her to get discovered. But Rose Red doesn't want to constantly be on the front page of the Grimm Times, even if Bo Peep, Cinderella, and Goldilocks eat up the attention. In her struggle to choose between doing what everyone else wants and forging her own path, Rose Red can't help wondering if a girl who wants to be "just normal" can live happily ever after.
  • Reefer Madness
    Bill, Mary, Gwen, and Jimmy are all swell kids. They listen to their parents, do well in school, and help out around the community -- that is, until they get caught up in the marijuana subculture. With "Mary Jane" filling their lungs, these kids resort to theft, prostitution, and murder to satisfy their cravings, which leads to suicide and death sentences. Is one puff really too much? A hilarious send...
    Bill, Mary, Gwen, and Jimmy are all swell kids. They listen to their parents, do well in school, and help out around the community -- that is, until they get caught up in the marijuana subculture. With "Mary Jane" filling their lungs, these kids resort to theft, prostitution, and murder to satisfy their cravings, which leads to suicide and death sentences. Is one puff really too much? A hilarious send-up of the 1936 exploitation film, now a cult classic.
  • Bitches
    Bitches is a unique comedy in that all the roles are women … all played by men. As she enters her senior year, Sindee Sandstone rules Susan B. Anthony High School. So when newcomer Angelatina Vindechi takes her place on the cheerleading squad, relegating the queen bee to dreaded “alternate” status, Sindee vows revenge. Driven by her overbearing mother, Charlene, Sindee coerces her fellow cheerleader Carmelle...
    Bitches is a unique comedy in that all the roles are women … all played by men. As she enters her senior year, Sindee Sandstone rules Susan B. Anthony High School. So when newcomer Angelatina Vindechi takes her place on the cheerleading squad, relegating the queen bee to dreaded “alternate” status, Sindee vows revenge. Driven by her overbearing mother, Charlene, Sindee coerces her fellow cheerleader Carmelle into killing Angelatina. Local talk show host, Paula DeMarcato, catches wind of the scandal and descends upon Tubbville to cover the story with tragic (and by tragic, we mean hilarious) results.
  • DOROTHY AND THE THIEF OF OZ
    On the eve of his wedding to the Munchkin Nimmie Amee, the Tin Woodsman’s heart is stolen! Without a heart, he’s unable to love, so he calls off the wedding. It’s up to Dorothy, Scarecrow, Glinda, the Wizard and rabbit detective Jack Nabbit to decipher the clues and retrieve the heart from the Thief of Oz!