ART: OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE - 2M,1F. One-Act (10 min), Two robots are sabotaged in a young entrepreneur's workshop in this Steampunk style universe. Part 2 of "The Legend of Steel City: A Collection of Steampunk Inspired One-Acts."

"First up is Daniel Guyton’s splendidly costumed ART: OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. This is a strange play, in which Bob Smith plays the hard taskmaster of two art-creating robots, played by Jeremy Clark and Cat Roche. The plot, such as it is, has taskmaster McGleetch slowly finding out that a mysterious female rival has tampered with the robots. It’s neatly constructed and well acted, and James Beck’s direction gets the utmost out of the script, which hints at a world we don’t fully comprehend." (Playgoer, theaterreview.com, 2014)

BASEMENT - 1M,2F. One-Act (25 min), Part Two of "The Darker Places Trilogy", a series of one-act plays centering around 3 different rooms in a troubled man's home. BASEMENT involves two women trapped in a bas... well, you get the idea. It chronicles their efforts to escape.

"As a professional actress with 30 years of experience I was lucky enough to perform in the world premiere of BASEMENT. The character was masterfully crafted, the play a gem." (Lisa Mende, Circle Ensemble Theatre, 2012)

An aspiring actress accidentally uploads an audition tape to a space alien, who believes she is just the right person to help him save his planet. Hijinks ensue!

Written as a Zoom play.

Three teenagers struggle with their own self-image and self-worth. Everyone tells them to "be themselves", but neither of them can really figure out what that means. Intended for high school or older audiences.
*Co-written with Kate Guyton*

BOYS NIGHT IN - 2M. One-Act (10 min), The power goes out on the hottest night of the year. As the thermostat rises, so does the tension between these two roommates.

THE BRASS BANYAN - 2M.1F. One-Act (10 min), Two scientists take a journey in a hot air balloon to search of the elusive "brass banyan" in this Steampunk style universe. Part 3 of "The Legend of Steel City: A Collection of Steampunk Inspired One-Acts."

1M. Monologue. An artist uses an unusual medium to create his masterpiece.

CRAWLSPACE - 1M,1F. One-Act (7 min), Part Three of "The Darker Places Trilogy", a series of one-act plays centering around 3 different rooms in a troubled man's home. CRAWLSPACE shows us an early glimpse into that man's life.

"CRAWLSPACE adds a beautifully tragic climax to the show." (L Marcus Williams, A Fly on the Fourth Wall Productions, 2012)

THE DARKER PLACES TRILOGY - A collection of three one-act plays about William, a troubled teenager, boy and man, who descends into madness. The plays include: ATTIC, BASEMENT and CRAWLSPACE.

*ATTIC won the Kennedy Center/ACTF short play award in 2004.*

"If you like psychological thrillers, you REALLY need to see THE DARKER PLACES TRILOGY. With a tight script by Daniel Guyton, spectacular direction by David Crowe, and an amazing, talented cast. I was blown away." (Rachel Jones, The Alliance Theatre, 2012)

"Come see Dan Guyton's DARKER PLACES TRILOGY... David Crowe's direction is brilliant-- Dan's script is intensely, beautifully written, and [the] cast [is] outstanding." (Lory Cox, Impulse Repertory Company, 2012)

"I saw THE DARKER PLACES TRILOGY tonight at opening for the first time. Holy cow, is it good! You gotta see what the amazing David Crowe has done with Daniel Guyton's poetic, twisted mommy issues!" (Kara Cantrell, Impulse Repertory Company, 2012)

"Saw the premiere tonight - it will stick with me for a long time. Those who know me will know that I don't praise a piece if I don't like it... But I can't say enough about what the Circle Ensemble has done with Dan's trilogy." (Jerry Jobe, Rosewater Theatre, 2011)

"The idea behind this arrangement of plays by rooms -- and dark ones at that -- is provocative and vivid... The BASEMENT play is powerful and nasty." (Dr. Stanley Longman, University of Georgia, 2011)

"I never say this, but [ATTIC] was the most innovative, original play I've ever seen... well, from a college student." (Gary Garrison, executive director of the Dramatists Guild, 2004)

"CRAWLSPACE adds a beautifully tragic climax to the show." (L Marcus Williams, A Fly on the Fourth Wall Productions, 2012)

"It's been fascinating, disturbing, upsetting, and funny. In the best possible way... It's very rare to have such dark material treated with humor... I think it rings the most true, because there's humor in everything." (Kathleen Hogan, Circle Ensemble Theatre, 2011)

"The Black Swan meets Seinfeld." (Lisa Mende, The Circle Ensemble Theatre, 2011)

"THE DARKER PLACES TRILOGY—three plays which center around one man's descent into madness, all taking place in "the darker places" of his mind and of his home." (Rick Rose, Flagpole Magazine, 2011)

"Poetry, sheer poetry." (Peg Thon, actress, 2012)

"Riveting, dark... presentation of the inside of a schizoid head. I like the structure of it." (Nick Boretz, Playwright's Binge, 2012)

"As a professional actress with 30 years of experience I was lucky enough to perform in the world premiere of BASEMENT. The character was masterfully crafted, the play a gem." (Lisa Mende, Circle Ensemble Theatre, 2012)

"Darkly funny and emotionally raw... Directing [ATTIC] was one of the highlights of my theatrical career. This is a dark, yet moving play that can be taken in many interesting directions by an intelligent and creative cast. It's deep, with a lot of facets, so have fun with it!" (Greg Campbell, Incumbo Theatre Company, 2012)

"[ATTIC] was daring, unorthodox and wonderful. The actors did a fine job with it and gave it all their talents which were enormous." (Liam Mitchell, Winner of the Sue Nims Distinguished Playwright Award, 2012)

"A riveting portrait of a schizophrenic boy, ATTIC has received wide critical acclaim." (Rikin Shah, The Red and Black Newspaper, 2012)

"[ATTIC is] quirky, funny, dark, and overall interesting." (Nichole Hamilton, actress, 2015)

"It was beautifully done. Mesmerizing. Scotty Gannon was FANTASTIC as the alter ego character. Spooky story, spookily told." (Judith Beasley, Working Title Playwrights, 2012)

"[ATTIC] is exceptional theatre... It is a beautifully written, highly dramatic and actable piece. I highly recommend it." (Joelle Re' Arp Dunham, Circle Ensemble Theatre, 2012)

DEATH OF A SNOWMAN - 1M,1F. One-Act (10 min), A snowman and a little girl discuss the afterlife in this
existential Yuletide comedy.

*Winner of the Gotta Go! Newsletter's "Favorite of the Evening" award in 2009*
*Semi-Finalist in the Play-Makers Spokane Hit & Run VII Festival in Spokane, WA, 2013*

"[Michael] Shelton and Amanda Lynn Meyer team up nicely in DEATH OF A SNOWMAN, a poignant moment between a girl who has lost her mother and her snowman, who explains the circle of life in the coolest way possible." (Elizabeth Musgrave, GottaGo.us, 2009)

"Best of the bunch is Daniel Guyton’s DEATH OF A SNOWMAN, in which actor Michael Shelton gives the best performance I’ve seen from him (and I’ve seen some fine ones) as a snowman discussing life and death with a young girl (Amanda Lynn Meyer)." (Lou Harry, Indianapolis Business Journal, 2009)

"Nor is [the festival] all fluff. One short play has a little girl charmingly but profoundly discussing death and the after-life with a compassionate snow man, for example. (DEATH OF A SNOWMAN, by Daniel Guyton)." (Hope Baugh, Indy Theatre Habit, 2009)

"I read DEATH OF A SNOWMAN and it is absolutely beautiful. You had me laughing and crying throughout the play." (Geri Albrecht, Heuer Publishing, 2009)

"Stephen [Hunt] gives a freshly poignant interpretation to the older and wiser snowman that Xmas newcomer Claire Wilcher talks to about immortality... in “DEATH OF A SNOWMAN,” by Daniel Guyton... I felt as if my face were leaking, I cried so much during this piece, but I just let the tears fall and wiped them away as needed. I never got around to voting online, but Guyton’s “DEATH OF A SNOWMAN” is probably my
favorite of all of the Phoenix Xmas pieces." (Hope Baugh, Indy Theatre Habit, 2010)

"What I love about it is that it transcends it's visual gag and becomes a very moving and poignant piece about a child coping with death and ultimately about our purpose and the meaning of life. [DEATH OF A SNOWMAN] lifts our show to something beyond sight gags, puns and songs. That's why it's the second to the last play of the evening. " (Bryan Fonseca, Artistic Director for The Phoenix Theatre, 2010)

"Daniel Guyton's [DEATH OF A SNOWMAN] presents a little girl (Claire Wilcher) in earnest dialogue with a huge snowman (Stephen Hunt) about death and the preciousness of life." (Jay Harvey, IndyStar.com, 2010)

"DEATH OF A SNOWMAN is a bittersweet little interlude between a motherless child and her come-to-life snowman. The theme is the fragility of life and the pain of loss... The play [features] the wonderful work of Indigo Colbert as Charlotte. So convincing is her performance as the sad, wistful child I cannot begin to guess at Colbert's actual age. Brava!" (John Quinn, Encore Michigan, 2011)

"The title says it all in DEATH OF A SNOWMAN (by Daniel Guyton; director Jackie Strez), in which young Charlotte (Indigo Colbert) considers the mortality of the snowman she created (Aaron Timlin), in a ponderous but ultimately touching scene. The play manages to stretch beyond its exceptional and hilarious costuming; Colbert’s little girl is contemplative without being precocious, and scene partner Timlin uses a vocal affectation that provides hilarity without hijacking the connection." (Carolyn Hayes, The Rogue Critic, 2011)

"DEATH OF A SNOWMAN by Daniel Guyton examines life, love and loss through a fanciful conversation between a young girl and the snowman she created in her backyard. Charlotte (the adorable Haley Pine) grieves the recent death of her mother and turns to her rather eloquent, if physically frosty, friend (charmingly played by Billy Flynn) for a frank and philosophical discussion of life’s biggest questions. Guyton’s piece suitably explores grief and remembrance by embracing optimism, adding a touch
of humor, and championing the well-lived life." (Veronica Bruscini, RhodeIsland.BroadwayWorld.com, 2012)

"In DEATH OF A SNOWMAN, by Daniel Guyton, a little girl, Charlotte (Haley Pine), converses with said Snowman (Billy Flynn). She is concerned that he'll be "going away soon." Her mother, you see, has passed away, so she's wondering what he thinks about the afterlife. Charlotte asks him why people die and he retorts, "Why do people live?" It's a sweet little tale about learning acceptance and appreciation." (Bill Rodriguez, The Boston Phoenix, 2012)

"Our radio show has ended... It was a glorious three year run, broadcasting well over one hundred plays. Your play DEATH OF A SNOWMAN was one of our finest moments. Thank you... for all of your contributions." (Noah Fredericks, KYRS Radio, 2014)

"What if ... a snowman could talk? DEATH OF A SNOWMAN is the story of a grieving little girl who has serious questions and no one to talk to — except her snowman. What follows is a poignant conversation she has with her older and wiser friend about humanity’s biggest questions about death and the preciousness and purpose of life. Rachel Funkhouser and Jordan Town portray Charlotte and Mr. Snowman." (Press Release, The Fairfield Ledger, 2016)

DON WANNABE -1M,1F. One-Act (10 min); A handsome Hollywood player actually wants to be sincere with women, but he just can't seem to do it. His inner monologue keeps taking over...

*Published by Next Stage Press in "Hilarious Nightmares II", 2016

"Naughty, bawdy, touching, and maniacally funny in turns... A producer and an actress share a conversation over a glass of wine as he slips in and out of brilliant sporadic Shakespearian 'moments of truth.' Hysterical!" (Pat Taylor, Tolucan Times, 2013)

"From award-winning playwright Daniel Guyton, comes the zesty one-act comedy, DON WANNABE. Poor Don can't keep his inner thoughts to himself, as he is overwhelmed by the wiles of a sexy, young actress. Can he win the young lady's company... or will his seedy desires get the best of him?" (Press Release, Darkhorse Dramatists, 2014)

"I saw DON WANNABE at Fall Shorts this past Tuesday... and [it] went over extremely well. I thought it was the one of the two or three really strong shows of the night and two of the evenings best actors were cast in the leads." (Steven Korbar, Playwright's Binge, 2013)

"The Whitefire Theatre in Sherman Oaks has a real ‘trick or treat’ for you in a series of vignettes done with comical style, varied personalities and in some not-so-ordinary situations.... [In DON WANNABE], Gregory James does an amazing performance as a man with a confused inner dialogue... Margot Danis is a model/actress with Hollywood style attitude, with a few desires of her own in an interview with a producer who has ulterior motives." (Lorenzo Marchessi, NoHoArtsDistrict.com, 2013)

"Just saw two hilarious Dan Guyton comedies, SPAT! and DON WANNABE, which were produced in DISJOINTED [LOVE] SHORTS at The Alchemical Theatre Laboratory in NYC. They took me back to some gut wrenching laughter at the Last Frontier Fringe [Festival] in June, courtesy of Dan's deliciously dark sense of humor... Paco got big laughs in SPAT! And the guy playing Don in DON WANNABE was very funny, he had a young Orson Welles persona and delivery." (Jeff Stolzer, Last Frontier Theatre Conference, 2013)

"Loved your plays last night at Disjointed Love Shorts! They were really well done... I know most of the actors, and they were just great. They do this amazing creative staging. Your plays got a great response! Congrats!" (Nina Mansfield, Ticket 2 Eternity Productions, 2013)

"Your work is really good, Daniel. I majored in LitCrit... and writers like you are not plentiful. Long may you wave!" (Kelli Brown, Town and Gown Players, 2013)

Happy the Christmas Elf decides that he no longer wants to be a Christmas Elf. Instead, he wants to be a math teacher! Only problem? He doesn't know how to add. So, Santa enrolls him in elementary school, with the wacky gang from Bizarretown (the same characters from "A Boy Who Cried Werewolf" and "An Alien in Elementary School"). From there, hijinks ensue, as Happy (and the other students) learn a lesson about math AND about the true spirit of Christmas.

FATHER AND SON - 2M, various voices. One-Act (10 min), God becomes an atheist. Hijinks ensue.

"I just finished reading your plays and would like to add FATHER AND SON to my syllabus.. Your dark comedy would add a nice twist." (Jody Schardt, College of Lake County, 2012)

"Your play was another a huge hit for my ENG 122 students! Thank you again for letting me use it. We read it yesterday, resulting in an inspired and delightful discussion." (Jody Schardt, College of Lake County, 2013)

"FATHER AND SON provides another morbidly funny take on generational differences, as told between God and Jesus as they hear countless prayers and see God take a defeated approach towards what he has created. Guyton again tacks a tragic and sobering button to the play’s end, a clever moment slightly obscured by his clever banter throughout." (Michael Weems, Next Stage Press, 2015)

This play was published exclusively by Next Stage Press, as part of "Hilarious Nightmares". To produce this play, please contact Next Stage Press at https://nextstagepress.net.

A FRIEND TO ALL THE LITTLE GUYS - 3M,1F. One-Act (40 min); Two mob thugs pressure a poor schlub into doing their dirty work. Ey, it's freakin' hilarious.

GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT - 1M,2F. One-Act (15 min), A young man tries to kill himself in this dark, disturbing comedy, but an accidental murder puts things into perspective. Mature audiences only.

*Finalist in the Kennedy Center/ACTF Region IV 10-Minute Play Competition (2003)*
*Finalist in the Time to Strike! Festival in Manhattan, NY (2012)
*Semi-Finalist in the Riant Theatre's Strawberry One-Act Festival in Manhattan, NY (2005)*
*Outstanding Male Performance for Joey Folsom as Georgie (2010)*
*Great Performance for Joey Folsom as Georgie (2010)*
*Adapted into a Short Film by Emotionalism Films (2011)*
*Published in "One Acts of Note 2008" by Desert Road Publishing (2009)*
*Published in "Hilarious Nightmares" by Next Stage Press (2013)*
*Excerpt published in "The Best Men's Stage Monologues of 2014" by Smith & Kraus (2014)*
*Excerpt published in "The Best Contemporary Monologues for Men 18-35" by Applause Books (2014)*
*Excerpt published in "Monologues from the Plays of Next Stage Press" by Next Stage Press (2016)*

“Georgie Gets a Facelift” is published in an exclusive contract with Next Stage Press, as part of "Hilarious Nightmares". To produce this play, please contact Next Stage Press at https://nextstagepress.net/.

"In Daniel Guyton's 'GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT', the blackest of black comedies, the suicide attempts of the title character (played by Joey Folsom) keep getting interrupted by the telephone and the doorbell... [The other play] holds your attention, but Guyton's delightfully perverse script is the one that you'll remember." (Lawson Taitte, "The Dallas Morning News", 2010)

"Dan Guyton's 'GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT' opens with an image that shouldn't be as funny as it is: a young man (Joey Folsom), pointing a gun into his own mouth. But thanks to Folsom's expert delivery and Lisa Anne Haram's hilarious performance as his all-abiding mother, this darkest-of-dark-comedies had the audience in stitches." (Will Arbery,"D Magazine", 2010)

"Can suicide, serial murder and a potty-mouthed girl scout be funny? Hell yeah, as proven by Daniel Guyton's tarpit-dark comedy 'GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT'... The beauty lies in the writing, which is snappy, succinct and original... The opening scene in 'GEORGIE' is comic gold, and the closing line... could not be more perfect." (Mark Lowry, "Theatre Jones", 2010)

"One of the best entries in the 2010 FIT (Festival)" (Mark Lowry, "Theatre Jones", 2011)

"This black comedy... is a tidy, tiny enterprise in delayed gratification, kind of like a Thurber short story compared to a Faulkner novel. All the language and character and thematic depth exist in both, just on a different scale... Impeccable timing by a tight, focused cast ensemble with plenty of textural gravitas and dry comic delivery... This is exactly the sort of creative endeavor that matches FIT's mission and maintains a high level of artistic integrity. Joey Folsom, in a surprising, clean-shaven, buttoned-down turn, helms the play with signature crisp stage presence and distinctive voice. His lengthy, surreal, tender conversation with a dead body is an acting high point for the entire Festival. Lisa Anne Haram creates a bizarre reality, as horrifying as she is delicious to watch. Stephanie Hall masters the transitional arc [of] the play... with outstanding physical acting; the... play relies almost entirely on her convincing portrayal. And it works famously. Plan on being horrified, then amazed, then relieved; and imagine James Thurber. It's a strong start for novice director Chad Cline." (Alexandra Bonifield, "Critical Rant & Rave", 2010)

"[Stephanie Hall's] physical comedy in this part (where she channels a rag doll) is hilarious. In a festival well-known for minimalist sets, this one wins the prize for the most minimalist. Ever. There is almost nothing to distract the viewer; all the attention and focus is on the three actors." (Carol Anne Gordon, "Pegasus News", 2010)

"Just one more day in the life of a suicidal/homicidal maniac and his mother, this double bill includes Dan Guyton's 'GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT', a black comedy about an underachieving momma's boy with a vision and the girl scout who stands in his way." (David Meglino, FIT Festival Press Release, 2010)

"In 'GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT', a man is on the precipice of suicide until his mother shows up and ends things with a bang." (Roxanne MacManus, "Willamette Week Online", 2010)

"'GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT' is a dramedy about a guy who loses his job, and about some of the bad decisions he's made involving himself, his mother and a girl scout. Not like you're thinking, though." (Patricia Sindelar, "The Omaha Reader", 2009)

"[Eric] Grant-Leanna... stood out in the evening's first one-act entitled 'GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT', portraying a suicidal schlemiel." (Mark Robinson, "Omaha Theater Examiner", 2009)

"The first offering, 'GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT' by Daniel Guyton, gave Liz Mulhern a chance to shine as an airhead mother pooh-poohing the problems of her suicidal and psychopathic son." (Warren Francke, "The Omaha Reader", 2009)

"Haunting, poetic, beautiful and funny."(Brian Harris, Strawberry One-Act Festival award winner, 2006)

"Wonderfully entertaining script." (Kurt Kleinmann, "Pegasus Theatre", 2015)

"I loved this play." (Craig Bond, Shelterbelt Theatre, 2012)

"Incredible story, Daniel. I am proud to have been able to play a role in the Shelterbelt's production of 'GEORGIE', especially knowing that the play helped you express things through humor that had been working on you for so long." (Liz Huse, Shelterbelt Theatre, 2015)

"From the short play by Daniel Guyton comes a slice from the worst day of George McCauley Robertson's life. The recipe for this Black Comedy: manic depressive, suicidal, homicidal college graduate + a fully loaded revolver + his Momma + a Girl Scout + Thin Mints. At the heart this film is about a young man who has invested everything of himself in the American Dream being slapped in the face with the reality that the American Dream is a lie. Hard work and dedication don't get you much when you are a member of the expendable dwindling middle class in modern America. 'GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT' tells the tale of how one college graduate deals with being pushed too far and let down by his society. After successful runs across the nation on stage, this 'delightfully dark', 'jaw dropping', 'heartbreaking', 'relevant' story is being re-imagined for the screen." (Joey Folsom, Emotionalism Films, 2011)

"In the worlds he creates, Guyton chooses characters who are often living in extremes. His Georgie, from GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT, is a pushed too far man on the brink, almost talked down from the proverbial ledge by his kind to a fault mother. We see a slow burn of a connection established between his mother’s maternal nature, the trauma she’s experienced, and how it has in turn shaped Georgie. Her final sacrifice is a tragically honest twist in line with the only way she can carry on." (Michael Weems, Next Stage Press, 2015)

GRAVE ASSURANCES - 1M,1F One-Act (10 min) - co-written with Laura Carson - A Jewish comedian and his anti-semitic mother-in-law battle it out after his wife passes away.

"The script was magnificent! I think I was the luckiest actor there! Funny, funny stuff! What a rush!" (Mary Claire Klooster, Working Title Playwrights, 2012)

"When two people meet at a grave to discuss a deceased love one, an unexpected bargain begins. Can a common ground be found amiss (sic) the sense of entitlement — and how far will a person go to hold on to a priceless treasure they so desperately crave? Several twists await in this bone-chilling drama by Laura Carson & Daniel Guyton entitled GRAVE ASSURANCES. One of 7 haunting one-acts performed in Tales from the Script!" (Press Release, Darkhorse Dramatists, 2013)

THE GRIM RAPER - 1M,2F. One-Act (10 min), The Angel of Death tries to pick up women the only way he knows how... With roofies.

*Published in The Best American Short Plays 2012-2013 by Applause Theatre Books, 2014*
*Published by Next Stage Press in "Hilarious Nightmares II", 2016

"Daniel Guyton's THE GRIM RAPER takes its own comic barroom scene, but chillingly reverses all audience allegiances by transforming an abstraction of Death into a commonplace but horrific vision of evil." (William Demastes, Applause Theatre & Cinema Books, 2014)

3M. One-Act (10 min), Two actors from "Cat On a Hot Tin Roof" share a jail cell with the drunk heckler who ruined their show.

A collection of eight 10-Minute Plays with a darkly comedic twist. Includes the titles "Georgie Gets a Facelift", "Romance is Dead", "Bedford's Sty", "Milo & Barbara", "Spat!", "Father and Son", "I'm Not Gay!", and "The Sins of Rebethany Chastain". These shows will terrify you, make you laugh, and might even make you cry - all at the same time. Come hear murderous confessions, romances gone wrong, and dreadful deeds aplenty. These dark comedies are sure to delight, offend, and most of all entertain!

Published by Next Stage Press. The full collection can be purchased here: www.amazon.com/dp/1940865387.

"No one does wonderfully dark, disturbing, character driven shows like Daniel Guyton." (Gene Kato, Next Stage Press, 2013)

"Looking for some good reads? Daniel Guyton has a wicked sense of humor and a fearless approach to storytelling." (Jeff Marker, Circle Ensemble Theatre, 2013)

"Daniel Guyton's script is a riot to interpret and perform. I really hope you'll come and see just how awesome HILARIOUS NIGHTMARES is!" (Rich Sagendorf, Mostly Harmless Productions, 2013)

"At last, the canon expands to include your astonishing bizarre hilarious work - congrats!" (Mark Muro, Last Frontier Theatre Conference, 2013)

"If you like your literature offensive, humorous, biting, and truly entertaining, while being emotionally moving, poignant, and with a strong message, then Hilarious Nightmares is for you. This is a great collection of short plays, and while they will most likely shock and offend you, they all have such meaningful social commentary. Think something along the lines of South Park, except on stage. If you don't enjoy crass humor or have an open mind, this may not be the read for you. If however, you're looking for something new and exciting, pick this up! Dan Guyton is a gifted author, and so unique among the playwright community!" (Richard Sagendorf, Mostly Harmless Productions, 2015)

"Awesome show! Funny, edgy, even spiritual! I was almost offended!" (Brian Toal, Mostly Harmless Productions, 2013)

"I love everything by this talented writer and this was no exception! Well done, well written and well played! I love Guyton's sense of humor!" (Nancy Powell, Onstage Atlanta, 2015)

"Such an amazing collection of one acts. These plays are perfect for pushing the envelope while busting a gut from laughter. After you read them, you'll be looking for a stage to perform them. True brilliance." (Ron Michaud, Amazon Review, 2015)

"Aside from just being a fun read, there are two good reasons to purchase HILARIOUS NIGHTMARES. First off, Guyton has written and published a lot of plays and this collection is a very good introduction to his quirky style. His writing is at once funny, disturbing and more than just a little twisted. Secondly, if you're looking to produce a short play, say 15 minutes or less, and you want to find a unconventional comedy that leaves you feeling a bit uncomfortable (and maybe somewhat offended), you'll find it in this collection. Guaranteed. Read the first play in this collection, 'Georige Gets a Facelift', about a suicidal young man, and you will immediately see what sort of a ride you are in for. It's not going to be for all tastes, but if you enjoy it, the good news is that seven more plays follow! And if you enjoy this collection you'll probably want to purchase a few more of Guyton's plays." (Rand Higbee, Playwright, 2015)

"We really love your stuff. Do you have possibly eight or ten 10 minute pieces that are comedies? We were thinking maybe of doing a Guyton festival... rather than getting a bunch of others... Just wondering." (Bryan Rasmussen, Whitefire Theatre, 2013)

"Last night to come see HILARIOUS NIGHTMARES! Don't miss this one. The cast has put in a lot of hard work, and the writing is just phenomenal. Oh, and it's funny. And offensive. It's like South Park on stage. Or Family Guy, just without the flashbacks. Well, mostly without the flashbacks. There's a tooth fairy. And stage guns. And it's just good, alright? So no excuses. 8pm... Be there, or be not as cool as I thought you were." (Rich Sagendorf, Mostly Harmless Productions, 2013)

"Didn't like it, LOVED it - very talented man you are!" (Maria Bianchi, Mostly Harmless, 2013)

"This show is not suitable for children. It's not really suitable for adults either. In fact, we aren't really sure who it's suitable for." (Poster for Mostly Harmless Productions, 2014)

"It's a great collection! Truly great!" (Gene Kato, Next Stage Press, 2015)

"This collection of short plays is totally delightful. I've never seen any of their (many) productions - as indicated in the text - but it's easy to visualize them on stage. They are marvelously theatrical. Just as important, I think, they are very well-crafted. And absolutely "hilarious" - that's not an exaggeration. And neither is the term "nightmares." These are dark comedies, but not that dark. There's a real heart behind the outlandish comedy. Well worth reading - and producing - if you enjoy intelligent entertainment." (Bruce Bonafede, Amazon Review, 2016)

"Just had a chance to catch up on Daniel Guyton's HILARIOUS NIGHTMARES. In Daniel Guyton’s HILARIOUS NIGHTMARES, a set of eight separate plays, Guyton plays with both of the title words cleverly as he presents stories ranging from macabre, funny, honest, and disturbing to the audience with no filter in place. With careful exploration of absurdity mixed in with every day characters who we most likely we would not notice, he creates a dynamically dramatic world, one in which the audience and reader will be barely able to process the whirlwind of the previous play’s events before they are smacked in the face once again.-- In the worlds he creates, Guyton chooses characters who are often living in extremes. His Georgie, from 'Georgie Gets a Facelift', is a pushed too far man on the brink, almost talked down from the proverbial ledge by his kind to a fault mother. We see a slow burn of a connection established between his mother’s maternal nature, the trauma she’s experienced, and how it has in turn shaped Georgie. Her final sacrifice is a tragically honest twist in line with the only way she can carry on. -- 'Milo and Barbara' provides a darkly humorous twist on what happens when a married man takes on a new lover – theatre. Milo’s acting bug is steeped in fervency and short-sightedness, a flaw which ultimately sends Milo orbiting back to earth. Here, Milo’s blind ambition combined with Barbara’s voice of reason clash, but Guyton refuses to end this play with a nice little bow. -- In 'I’m Not Gay!', a short vignette taking place in a New York City building, Guyton’s Gary takes a thinly veiled approach at all questions on gay sex which seem to have haunted him for longer than we can tell. The pay-off is well done, allowing Gary to return to his repressed mindset and catapulting him to what we imagine is his next disastrous encounter. -- 'Father and Son' provides another morbidly funny take on generational differences, as told between God and Jesus as they hear countless prayers and see God take a defeated approach towards what he has created. Guyton again tacks a tragic and sobering button to the play’s end, a clever moment slightly obscured by his clever banter throughout. -- 'Romance is Dead', a monologue by 50-year-old Dr. Edward Bainsbridge, tips the scales towards the recently incarcerated Bainsbridge honestly tells of his perversion and how he slowly developed his need for this connection. The play brings to mind Neil Labute’s Wrecks in both tone, color, and effectiveness of balancing past and present within a lengthy monologue. -- 'Spat!' opens as a highly volatile, explosive argument between Mark and Wanda. Divided between a few scenes and flashback moments, and nicely softened with the comedic Paco, the play explores a couple’s inability to co-exist and the ways they find validation for their self and most base needs. -- 'The Sins of Rebethany Christian' provides a different tone than any seen yet in this collection, as we see Rebethany tell the hilariously tragic story of how a few small events can change one’s world entirely. This is written with a bit of southern trashy charm and filled with a wild warmth of description, character, and event. Rebethany is incredibly likable despite her flaws and reading this monologue made me want to see it on stage immediately. -- Guyton’s final play in the collection, 'Bedford’s Sty', functions as possibly his most disturbing, yet effective. Guyton’s use of absurdity hits its peak as a disabled young man, Bedford, is dually informed and enabled by the unseen voice in the living room to exact revenge upon his cousin, Lucas, for the deeds done to both of them. The ending is truly a chilling moment, particularly in the innocence of Bedford and allowing the audience and reader to see the future before he can. -- Guyton has created a small universe of dysfunction that exist in Hilarious Nightmares. Each story allows for moments of laughter, empathy, and deeper experiences of the relationships around us and the variety of forms they can take." (Michael Weems, Next Stage Press, 2015)

I'M NOT GAY! - 2M. One Act (10 min). A gay man and a homophobe are trapped on an elevator together. Hijinks ensue. (This is also the first scene of a full-length play)

*Winner of the Best Comedy Award from the Author's Playhouse New Author Festival in 2005*
*Adapted into a short film by Baxter's End Productions in 2009*
*Official entry of the Lancaster Area Film Festival (LAFF) in Lancaster, PA, 2010 (Short film)*
*Official entry of the Artlightenment Film Festival in Nashville, TN, 2011 (Short film)*
*Official entry of the Bridgeport ComedyFest Film Festival in Chicago, IL, 2012 (Short film)*
*Official entry of the SOAPIFF Film Festival in Nashville, TN, 2012 (Short film)*

"A brilliant play about all the hypocrisy about homosexualism (sic) and people either loved it or hated it... just as it should be." (Gudmundur Ingi Thorvaldsson, Theatre Loftkastalinn, 2005)

"One of the funniest f***in plays I've ever been involved with." (Mark Adamo, actor, 2012)

"I've been involved with a lot of stage productions. This one was my favorite. So much ridiculousness." (Ron Michaud, actor, 2014)

"If you want to laugh the hardest you have ever laughed in your entire life (or be extremely offended) go watch “I’M NOT GAY!” by Daniel Guyton. It’s the freaking epitome of a closet case. I can't stop laughing!" (anonymous tubmlr review, 2014)

"Just because I like this play, doesn't mean I'm gay. I like lots of straight things too, like wrestling, football, and gladiators. Oh dear." (Barnaby Luke Camp, actor, 2014)

"Extremely well written. I love how the author developed the characters and the writing was very descriptive. I truly felt like I got to know the characters personally." (Amazon.com Review, 2014)

"Double-billed on the show is playwright Daniel Guyton, rounding out the show with the hilarious I'M NOT GAY!" (Natasha Lewin, Tolucan Times, 2013)

"Saw the show last night... Your two pieces were last on the bill and the crowd loved them. I'M NOT GAY! seemed to really hit... Good work!" (Ron Burch, Playwrights Binge, 2013)

"I attended the evening of one acts at Whitefire... The play in the elevator was fun and well done." (Michael Erger, Playwrights Binge, 2013)

"I was very struck by the performance of the guy that played the nerd, in the film I'M NOT GAY!... and then I got to thinking about the film and the acting job the guy did, and I thought goddamn, this is like some Jerry Lewis sh** going on in there. Very interesting. Very interesting." (Jaz Dorsey, Artlightenment Film Festival, 2012)

"In I'M NOT GAY!, a short vignette taking place in a New York City building, Guyton’s Gary takes a thinly veiled approach at all questions on gay sex which seem to have haunted him for longer than we can tell. The pay-off is well done, allowing Gary to return to his repressed mindset and catapulting him to what we imagine is his next disastrous encounter." (Michael Weems, Next Stage Press, 2015)

Published by Next Stage Press, as part of "Hilarious Nightmares". To produce this play, please contact Next Stage Press at https://nextstagepress.net/.

A young girl imagines she is a military soldier. However, the nurse who keeps interrupting her fantasies would suggest otherwise.

*Created for the Nugget Fringe Festival's 3-Hour Plays, 2017

JANUARY'S ALIBI - 1F. One-Act (10 min), January is a poor woman, accused of murdering the father of her child. In this interrogation sequence, she explains what really happened.

*Excerpt published in "Best Women's Stage Monologues of 2016" by Smith & Kraus.*

"'JANUARY'S ALIBI' is spoken to police interrogators who are questioning a woman (Tanya Freeman) in the shooting death of her child’s father. There’s a lot of foul language in this play... but it’s repeatedly followed by "excuse my French," with some questioning of how crude the French must be to come up with all these cuss words. There are a lot of comic elements in the writing, but the tone isn’t fully comic. This woman seems unusually enthusiastic about her young son, Allegro Junior (although his father has an entirely different first name). Since four-year-old Allegro was at least a witness of the murder, the tone wavers a bit between comedy and seriousness... The blocking and acting are first-rate." (Playgoer, TheaterReview.com, 2015)

"Daniel Guyton, one of my favorite playwrights and director, I can't thank you enough for choosing me to give January a voice. She's f-ing funny to me (excuse my French)." (Tanya Freeman, Atlanta Fringe Festival, 2015)

A group of children are performing a school play about friendship and teamwork outdoors, when a magical fairy tells them to stay away from their tree. When the teacher calls in the ghostbusters, all chaos breaks loose.

LAST OF THE TANNENBAUMS - 3M (or 2M,1F). One-Act (10 min), Eddie the Evergreen desperately wants to be a Christmas tree, until a little bird tells him what really happens to Christmas trees...

"The first play, Daniel Guyton's LAST OF THE TANNENBAUMS works. In it, the lone tree in a clearing of what was once a grove of evergreens (Sarah Zuk) bemoans her lonely lot. She is titillated and curious when her bird friend (Laura Schirmer) explains the human tradition of Christmas trees, and looks forward to the arrival of a lumberjack (Aaron Gotlieb). There's a line indicating that the future she anticipates won't come to pass, but the cheery and slightly off-kilter tone sustains throughout. William Thurmond has directed a terrific start to the evening, aided by fine costumes, a beautifully minimalist set, and endearing performances from all his actors." (playgoer, TheaterReview.com, 2016)

"LAST OF THE TANNENBAUMS is adorable - well, Eddie (the Evergreen) may not think so but this human thinks it's very cute." (Geri Albrecht, Heuer Publishing, 2014)

"Loved John Schmiederer and Scott Ziobrowski in this! Laughed sooooo hard!" (Rebecca Vavala, Mostly Harmless Productions, 2014)

MACABRE-CADABRA - 2M,1F. One-Act (20 min), A magician with a very dark secret receives an offer that he... really should refuse.

*Official Selection of the Last Frontier Theatre Conference in Valdez, AK, in 2012*
*Published by Next Stage Press in "Hilarious Nightmares II", 2016

"A professional magician thought he had everything he ever wanted, until he gets a taste of the real thing. Will he choose tricks over treats? Or is he happy waving his wand and pulling out a rabbit? Find out in this inquisitive comedy/drama by Daniel Guyton, 'MACABRE-CADABRA'!" (Press Release, Darkhorse Dramatists, 2013)

A MERRY COUGAR CHRISTMAS - 1M,2F. One-Act (10 min), Two old ladies head to the mall in search of hot young men to spend Christmas Eve with.

*Honorable Mention from the 15th Annual Estrogenious Festival, 2015*
*Excerpt published in "222 More Comedy Monologues" by Smith & Kraus, 2016*

"Thanks for submitting A MERRY COUGAR CHRISTMAS for consideration for our New Works Winter Festival 2015. I really enjoyed reading about the food court cougars. You are absolutely fearless when it comes to pushing comedy to the edge." (Tom Berry, ACME Theatre, 2014)

*Commissioned by ACTNET Entertainment Studios*

A young girl goes missing, and her classmates try to find her, in this gripping drama that helps warn children about "stranger danger" and the things they can do to protect themselves.

MRS. CLAUS GETS MENOPAUSE - 1M,1F One-Act (10 min). Chaos erupts at the North Pole on the night before Christmas! As Santa gets ready for the busiest night of the year, Mrs. Claus lays a doozy on him. She is going through menopause and isn’t very happy about it. Furthermore, she’s heard some terrible rumors about him and one of his elves. Now Santa has to remind her of what Christmas is all about–before it all gets out of hand.

*Semi-Finalist in the Minnesota Shorts Festival of Plays in 2012*

"With patrons’ eyes still aglow with laughter, Tobin and Wood donned Mr. and Mrs. Claus outfits for MRS. CLAUS GETS MENOPAUSE. Santa is preparing to make his Christmas Eve run when Greta Claus reveals that she has been to see Hermey the dentist’s brother Hymie, who’s training to be a gynecologist. Hysterical chaos erupts as Mrs. Claus succumbs to a menopausal meltdown about rumors of Santa and one of his elves, being left alone Christmas Eve and the fact that she will never have children. The audience doubled over with laughter as Wood exclaimed to Tobin’s dumbfounded Santa, “Is it my fault we haven’t done the Christmas Kringle in almost 20 years?” (April Boyle, Portland Press Herald, 2016)

"Daniel, that play was so much fun. The performers were great, and you wrote a wonderful script." (Noah Fredericks, KYRS Radio, 2014)

Play is published by ArtAge Publications. To produce this play, please visit: www.seniortheatre.com/product/mrs-claus-gets-menopause/

Three soldiers pay tribute to their fathers, who died in three separate wars.

"It is so well written, it directs itself. This short play is suitable for patriotic events, religious services, political rallies, or almost any public gathering where veterans are honored. It is a moving, inspiring, reverential, compassionate, and understanding depiction of military service families, the legacy they share, the price they pay, and the honor their valor commands. Hardly a dry eye in the house!" (Robert W. Gardner, South Baldwin Community Theatre, 2018)

"Daniel Guyton... used three different vets from three different wars to talk about how proud they were to have served. Each of them held the flag and told their story. One was in the Navy, another in the Marines and the third actor, a young girl, flew drones. It was just a wonderful play. Everybody went wild for it. There was not a dry eye in the house when it was over." (Laura Pfizenmayer, Mullet Wrapper, 2018)

Ignatz the Christmas Elf makes a terrible decision involving gingerbread cookies and cocaine. Perfect for Zoom performances and/or live theatre.

In this one-minute play, a young couple argue after the cat gets out of the house. During the course of the argument, deeper issues emerge.

A teenage girl commits suicide after a "sexting" incident goes public. Her boyfriend deals with the fallout.

"I am very intrigued with your character 'Christian' and his monologue following his arrest and girlfriend's suicide and I would love to perform this for my class, possibly the anti-bullying assembly my school has coming up." (Trey Cowan, actor, 2015)

POISONED APPLES - 1M,2F. One-Act (10 min), Two old women plan an unforgettable Halloween celebration for the children in their neighborhood.

*Published by Next Stage Press in "Hilarious Nightmares II", 2016

POOR BASTARD - 2M. One-Act (10 min), A homeless man finds a dead body in an alley - a RICH dead body. Who vaguely resembles himself. What would YOU do if you were him?

*Published by Next Stage Press in "Hilarious Nightmares II", 2016

"I love POOR BASTARD and looking forward to seeing it again today. I'm forever a Daniel Guyton fan!" (Tanya Freeman, GOOD Works Theatre Festival, 2013)

REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS - 1F,2M One-Act (10 min). Mrs Claus reveals how she almost married Arthur Kringle, Santa's rebellious older brother.

"I absolutely love this piece... I truly think REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS will be one of the strongest and most memorable shows of the evening." (Sylvia Veith, Onstage Atlanta, 2011)

"Loved [REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS] at the Phoenix. So much fun, such a hoot. And they really brought their A game - great actors, of course, but the costume design was especially inspired. Great show!" (Eric Pfeffinger, Playwright, 2014)

"The dark side of Christmas is more searchingly explored in "REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS," with [Dave] Ruark portraying a generic lost soul from the 1950s, pompadoured and leather-jacketed. The wayward brother of the boy who would grow up to become Santa Claus comes to a bad end. His example turns out to prescribe the Jolly Old Elf's naughty-and-nice division of juvenile humanity every Christmas Eve. So now we know... Flashing Through the Snow is topnotch entertainment poised on that boundary. It's under the mistletoe all the way, and deserves a smooch." (Jay Harvey, JayHarveyUpstage.com, 2014)

"I finally got to see REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS and it was delightful, as I expected it to be. Really funny, but with a nice little touch of poignancy that kept it from going over the top... I thought the costumes were great - a nice melding of Christmas and the 1950s." (Mark Harvey Levine, playwright, 2015)

"The sketches themselves are strong [including] the flashback story of how Santa Claus and his wife fell in love... The whole show is much-needed alternative to the sometimes saccharine shows produced around the holidays." (Melissa Hall, StageWriteIndy.com, 2015)

"Ha! That was fun!" (Joseph Cascio, audience member, 2015)

ROMANCE IS DEAD - 1M. Monologue (15 min). "I sleep with dead people..." Dr. Edward Bainsbridge has been arrested for a terrible crime - interfering with a dead body. Four dead bodies, to be exact. Come hear his terrible confession, which will shock you, repulse you, and might even make you laugh...

*Semi-Finalist in the Spotlight On: One Person Play Competition (2012)*
*Excerpt published in "The Best Men's Stage Monologues of 2014" by Smith Kraus in 2014*

"Extremely well-written and deplorably funny." (Geri Albrecht, Heuer Publishing, 2007)

"Your show is wonderful. I feel that it is one of the strongest pieces in the [Grand Guignol Festival]." (Ravyn Jazper-Hawke, Third Eye Theatre, 2011)

"I've read Dan's play and it's sick. And very, very good. I wish I'd written it." (Mark Cornell, Playwrights' Binge, 2012)

"Thanks for writing such an awesome piece. I've had a great time with this role and I haven't been this excited about an opening night in a long time. It's stuff like this that made me fall in love with acting in the first place." (Charlie Pierce, Third Eye Theatre, 2011)

"ROMANCE IS DEAD, a monologue about 50-year-old Dr. Edward Bainsbridge, tips the scales towards the recently incarcerated Bainsbridge honestly tells of his perversion and how he slowly developed his need for this connection. The play brings to mind Neil Labute’s 'Wrecks' in both tone, color, and effectiveness of balancing past and present within a lengthy monologue." (Michael Weems, Next Stage Press, 2015)

"The actor who is doing ROMANCE [IS DEAD] is an old friend of mine... I sent him a copy of the script. He loved it! I forgot how twisted his sense of humor is. He is doing amazing things with the script and we are both enjoying the rehearsal process." (Deborah Smola, Black Sheep Theatre Ensemble, 2013)

"OMG! ROMANCE [IS DEAD] and [THE SINS OF] REBETHANY [CHASTAIN] are some fine pieces of dark comedy! Thank you for your twisted mind! Haha! I say that with the utmost respect and love." (Diane Mashia, Black Sheep Theatre Ensemble, 2013)

"I am playing Bainsbridge in the Black Sheep Theater (Rochester, NY) production of ROMANCE IS DEAD. Love the piece - very funny and challenging... Getting deeper and deeper into this intense role... I love the role and the audience seemed to enjoy it very much (they laughed in all the right places, and seemed creeped out in certain parts - exactly what you intended, I believe)." (Dan Plumeau, Black Sheep Theatre Ensemble, 2013)

"Daniel, I have to tell you, I absolutely love "ROMANCE IS DEAD" and Tony [Yajko] loved it too. Definitely one to shoot for, for "Tales From the Script" come Halloween season!" (Mickey Ray, Darkhorse Dramatists, 2015)

Play is published exclusively by Next Stage Press, as part of "Hilarious Nightmares". To produce this play, please contact Next Stage Press at https://nextstagepress.net/.

The statues of Robert E Lee, George Washington, and Christopher Columbus try to prepare themselves for their inevitable demise at the hands of angry protesters. (All three should be played by actors of any gender, age, or ethnicity - the more diverse the casting, the better).

1M.1F. One-Act (10 min), A woman dressed in blue convinces an artist to destroy his entire life's work in this Steampunk style universe. Part 4 of "The Legend of Steel City: A Collection of Steampunk Inspired One-Acts."

A year after the first Nativity, Joseph laments being a step-dad to the Lord on High.

Pantomime Play for Very Young Audiences.

Shannon is very excited because she/he/they has found a new dog and wants to convince their parent to keep it. The only problem? The dog is actually a fire-breathing dragon!

THE SINS OF REBETHANY CHASTAIN - 1F, One-Act (10 min). A prison inmate shares her zany story about how she got arrested, in this one woman monologue.

*Excerpt published in The Best Women's Stage Monologues of 2014 by Smith & Kraus, 2014*
*Excerpt published in Best Contemporary Monologues for Women 18-35 by Applause Books, 2014*

"First up is 'THE SINS OF REBETHANY CHASTAIN.' In this beautifully blocked monologue, Kate Guyton tells the story of what sent Rebethany to prison. Ms. Guyton has a white trash twang, and the tale she tells is a comic set of grievances centering around a bicycle and jealousy of a girl in her class. Yes, there’s a crime involved, but it’s a convoluted path in the telling. It’s beautifully rendered, by playwright, director, and actress alike." (Playgoer, TheaterReview.com, 2015)

"'Prison Monologues, Part I' by Daniel Guyton... is a series of solo performances drawn on emotional power, subtle explorations of message, and dark, evocative imagery that made this exhibition truly one of the powerhouses of this year's Fringe. All of these narratives are powerfully delivered and bring something very interesting to the table... Keep an eye out for future offerings of this piece." (Daniel Lamb, Edge Media Network, 2015)

"Last is Daniel Guyton’s THE SINS OF REBETHANY CHASTAIN. Reprising her role in this monologue from last year’s Atlanta Fringe Festival is the fantastic Kate Guyton, in a tour-de-force performance of a white-trashy young woman whose actions represent the "sins" of the title. It’s brash and profane and energetic and given lively direction by the playwright, ending the night on a high note of hilarity." (Playgoer, TheaterReview.com, 2015)

"Black Sheep Theatre included this piece in our Halloween event this year. It was brilliant!" (Deborah Smola, Black Sheep Theatre Ensemble, 2013)

"OMG! 'ROMANCE [IS DEAD]' and 'REBETHANY' are some fine pieces of dark comedy! Thank you for your twisted mind! Haha! I say that with the utmost respect and love." (Diane Mashia, Black Sheep Theatre Ensemble, 2013)

"Dan's piece demonstrated his remarkable skill on all levels -- it was bawdy, clever, touching, surprising and wonderfully spirited. A big bonus was to see the performance of Kate Guyton, who admirably brought to life the first of the four monologues." (Hank Kimmel, Working Title Playwright, 2015)

"This was a spectacular show... Kate (Guyton) surprised me as a real comedic talent... Parents, teach your children well to keep them out of prison!" (David Fisher, Working Title Playwrights, 2015)

"The show was great. Kate Guyton is fierce and fabulous!" (Laura King, Lionheart Theatre, 2015)

'THE SINS OF REBETHANY CHASTAIN provides a different tone than any seen yet in this collection, as we see Rebethany tell the hilariously tragic story of how a few small events can change one’s world entirely. This is written with a bit of southern trashy charm and filled with a wild warmth of description, character, and event. Rebethany is incredibly likable despite her flaws, and reading this monologue made me want to see it on stage immediately." (Michael Weems, Next Stage Press, 2015)

"I just performed part of this monologue for my theatre class. It was my first comedic monologue ever and I got lots of good feedback. This writer's material is amazing!" (Khaya Osborne, actress, 2016)

Published by Next Stage Press, as part of "Hilarious Nightmares". To produce this play, please contact Next Stage Press at https://nextstagepress.net/.

Three upper crust women in Victorian Era England must face a brutal reality when the patriarch of the family passes away, leaving them with no money and with little hope for the future. When a strange man appears at the doorway, it seems that hope may be restored. Or will it?

*Winner of 7 Metropolitan Atlanta Theatre Awards for Best Overall Performance of a Play, Best Director, Best Ensemble Acting, Best Lead Actor, Best Lead Actress, Best Costume Design, and Best Lighting Design, 2018*

*Top Ten Semifinalist in the Stanley Drama Award Competition, 2017*

*Finalist in the Kitchen Dog Theatre's New Works Festival, 2017*

*4 Monologues Published in "Best Women's Monologues 2018" and "Best Men's Monologues 2018" from Smith & Kraus*

"I love it. Great dialogue, twists, and stories... just fantastically written, dark, and humorous through and through." (Michael Weems, Cone Man Running Productions, 2017)

"THREE LADIES OF ORPINGTON brings belly laughs in a smart, poignant small cast play. It has all the fun of 'The Importance of Being Earnest', but with a little fantasy, a little sex, and much more empowered women. I highly recommend this for open-minded groups who want to work on a challenging and hilarious play." (Joelle Re Arp Dunham, Circle Ensemble Theatre, 2018)

"Wonderful, Funny, Weird, and Frightening Fun!" (Beverly Austin, Working Title Playwrights, 2017)

"There are reasons why I was drawn to new plays, to theatre. Seeing something brand new take shape, witnessing creative artists giving all they can to bring a new work to life, and just the love I have for a writer that can use language but also in doing so tell a damn good story. Daniel Guyton does all this and more in THREE LADIES OF ORPINGTON. This tale is almost beyond original in that it is cracking open something that peeks into another realm. Something fiercely new and ancient at the same time. It is what great art should be - transformative." (James Beck, Onion Man Productions, 2017)

"We enjoyed the Oct 13th opening night of the world premiere in Chamblee of THREE LADIES OF ORPINGTON. Written by Daniel Guyton, and directed by Scott Rousseau, the dark comedy kept us laughing and had surprising suspense. The acting is so good! The set design/costumes are so creative! Beware - Rated R for nudity! (He's gorgeous)" (Anonymous review, NextDoor App, 2017)

"Went to see #ThreeLadiesofOrpington last night at Onion Man Productions in Chamblee. GO SEE IT!!! Daniel Guyton has written a deliciously wacky script that is authentically brought to life by Tyler Buckingham, Sadye Elizabeth, and company. Perfectly directed by Scott Rousseau. (Mature Audiences Only)" (Jayson Werner Smith, actor: The Walking Dead, 2017)

"It's not often a play arrives in DeKalb County mixing laughs, wit, heart, axe murder, betrayal, a true interpretation of the Victorian era and provides opportunities to take the art of local theater to new heights... THREE LADIES OF ORPINGTON proves to be an exception... One of [the play]'s main strengths is in its script. Guyton's ability to combine tragedy and comedy seems to come as second nature. Neither is lingered upon too heavily and audiences will find themselves both laughing and crying at the fortune and misfortune of the characters... THREE LADIES OF ORPINGTON is a strange and wonderful addition to the realm of theater that arrives on cue for Halloween. The play captures the gothic, the Victorian, the familial tragedy and sardonic comedy of exam-ining an era in which there seemed to be little, if any benefactors. Both laugh-out-loud funny and tissue-worthy tragic, it's good to know plays like this are still being written and making their debut at local theaters such as Onion Man Productions." (R. Scott Belzer, The Dekalb County Chamption, 2017)

"It's always delightful when the last moment of a play ties up everything that's only been hinted at before. Daniel Guyton's THREE LADIES OF ORPINGTON is such a play. The final sound effect of a glass jar being shattered explains why window panes are broken to gain entry to a house and why a character appears wet on the driest of days. There's a supernatural element to it all that... all ties together with a satisfying spookiness. Amy Levin's sound design works quite well, with surround sound effects adding to the sense of impending dread in the material. Musical interludes cover the frequent set changes, with the music getting spookier and more insistent as the play proceeds... Nancye Hilley's costumes do a good job of setting the time period. This is a handsome production, including Chris Franken's props; fine makeup all around, particularly for Sadye Elizabeth and Lisa Gordon; fine blood effects in Tyler Buckingham's kinetic fight choreography; James Beck's charming lighting design, which includes an evocative fireplace effect; and Scott Rousseau's set that uses a minimum of set pieces to portray various locations within a house... The blocking is first-rate throughout... Overall, this is a terrific production that makes wonderful use of the tiny Onion Man stage and tells an intriguing tale audiences are lapping up." (Playgoer, TheaterReview.com, 2017)

TOTALLY BUZZED - 2F. One-Act (10 min), A young woman loses her vibrator right before her "big date!" Can the kindly old woman at the coat check counter help out?

URINE TROUBLE NOW - 2M. One-Act (10 min), A young man's job interview is going swimmingly! Until he learns the results of his unfortunate "piss test."

*Excerpt published in "Best Men's Stage Monologues 2016" by Smith & Kraus.*
*Excerpt published in "222 More Comedy Monologues" by Smith & Kraus, 2016*

"Daniel Guyton’s URINE TROUBLE NOW was very funny, and had one of the best lines, which I can only paraphrase: 'I’ve always wanted to be a telemarketer.' (You probably had to be there, but trust me, it was a riot.)" (Babs Lindsay, Changing Scene Northwest Theatre, 2015)

"I think it's hysterical." (Kurt Kleinmann, Pegasus Theatre, 2015)

THE WEDDING NIGHT TWEETS - 1M,1F. One-Act (10 min), A newlywed husband discovers a problem with his wife's over-zealous affinity for social media on the day after their wedding.

*Winner of the Arkansas Theatre Collective's Spring Cleaning Festival, 2016*

"Congratulations! We have decided to use your play THE WEDDING NIGHT TWEETS for our one-act play festival and could not be more excited! We received hundreds of submissions and decided on four incredible plays." (Eleah Burman, Quirky Productions, 2015)

"Your play was great! You received many laughs." (Jillian Walzer, Process Theatre, 2015)

"It was wonderful! Great people, warm house, they loved your play!" (Hila Ben Gera, Lama Theatre Company, 2015)

"WEDDING NIGHT TWEETS got a terrific response... Very timely." (Carmen Desena, Relationship
Theatre, 2016)

"Thank you for sending WEDDING NIGHT TWEETS. The audience loved it & it was also my
favorite." (Rachel Washington, Arkansas Theatre Collective, 2016)

5M,5F,1T. Full length (120 min), A gay, black inner-city detective arrives at a rural ski resort for some much-needed R&R. Instead, he discovers racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, sexual assault and murder. Can he figure out whodunit before there's another victim?

Trigger Warning: Adult Language, plus all of the issues mentioned above.