Eric Goudie

Eric Goudie is a genre-blending artisan enjoying a rich, diverse and fulfilling career in the creative and performing arts. He is a playwright, poet, novelist, essayist, blogger and copywriter. He is a graphic designer, audio engineer, arts consultant, editor, academic, dramaturg and teacher. He is a producer, director, designer, stage manager, stagehand and actor. He is a farmer, gardener, entrepreneur, woodworker, outdoorsman, volunteer and husband.

Eric began his complex and lifelong love affairs with writing and the theatre in public school, when he had a poem published through the Poetry Institute of Canada, a play produced at the Sears Drama Festival, and won the Dorothy Shoemaker Literary Award for Fiction. Since then he has gone on to author no fewer than 60 stage plays, as well...

Eric Goudie is a genre-blending artisan enjoying a rich, diverse and fulfilling career in the creative and performing arts. He is a playwright, poet, novelist, essayist, blogger and copywriter. He is a graphic designer, audio engineer, arts consultant, editor, academic, dramaturg and teacher. He is a producer, director, designer, stage manager, stagehand and actor. He is a farmer, gardener, entrepreneur, woodworker, outdoorsman, volunteer and husband.

Eric began his complex and lifelong love affairs with writing and the theatre in public school, when he had a poem published through the Poetry Institute of Canada, a play produced at the Sears Drama Festival, and won the Dorothy Shoemaker Literary Award for Fiction. Since then he has gone on to author no fewer than 60 stage plays, as well as many other works of poetry and prose. He authored of over 400 articles and How-to Guides on a wide variety of subject matter for Helium.com, and was a member of the site's Channel Managing, editorial and title-seeding teams for many years. In recent years Eric has turned his attention back to his first love, creative writing.

In the theatre half of his world Eric has worked as a professional designer, stage manager and technician, and has produced over 100 different plays produced through Grinder Productions, his own live theatre company. Other production credits include shows with Touchmark Theatre, Bluewater Summer Playhouse, Theatre on the Grand, Elora Community Theatre, Wellington-Waterloo Playhouse, Guelph Little Theatre, CC Entertainment, the Kaufman Arts Studio, Flush Ink Productions, and many others. In 2013 Eric became the Theatre Coordinator of the Fergus Grand Theatre, fulfilling a lifelong dream.

Eric lives in a 150 year-old log home on his family-owned farm with several cats, too many chickens, sometimes a few ducks, 150 goats, and Julie, the inspiration and love of his life.

Scripts

Cliche

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A man meets a woman, waiting for a pawn shop to open. As soon as he opens his mouth things start to go wrong.

A man meets a woman, waiting for a pawn shop to open. As soon as he opens his mouth things start to go wrong.

Good People

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A widower arrives at the plinth where they're about to place a statue to honour her late husband. A young woman shows up with a can of red paint.

A widower arrives at the plinth where they're about to place a statue to honour her late husband. A young woman shows up with a can of red paint.

Shackled to a Corpse

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A local candidate is put through an unorthodox vetting meeting by a mysterious political staffer who's come to check him out while the big boss man is at a policy retreat. TW: coarse language, mature content.

A local candidate is put through an unorthodox vetting meeting by a mysterious political staffer who's come to check him out while the big boss man is at a policy retreat. TW: coarse language, mature content.

Shakedown in the Loose Moose Caboose

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Cheer on the virtuous maiden Beulah Belle, temple of virgin purity, as she desperately tries to foil the evil villain Tyrone T. Turncoat's dastardly plot, and save the life of a sleeping, drunken brakeman.

Cheer on the virtuous maiden Beulah Belle, temple of virgin purity, as she desperately tries to foil the evil villain Tyrone T. Turncoat's dastardly plot, and save the life of a sleeping, drunken brakeman.

Bad Apples

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A farmhand with a troubled past seeks shelter in a tool shed during a summer storm, only to find it occupied by a young woman who is running for her life. TW: coarse language, discussions of domestic violence.

A farmhand with a troubled past seeks shelter in a tool shed during a summer storm, only to find it occupied by a young woman who is running for her life. TW: coarse language, discussions of domestic violence.

Love Song

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

An adaptation of TS Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, more or less.

An adaptation of TS Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, more or less.

The Heart of Eden

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A lovely young woman wakes up one morning in New York's Central Park, tosses the newspapers off of herself, and begins to sing.

A lovely young woman wakes up one morning in New York's Central Park, tosses the newspapers off of herself, and begins to sing.

The UnHelpfuls

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Joe is just an average guy, trying to make his way in the world, but he's pestered a bunch of "super-heroes" with really lousy powers. There's The Procrastinator, Sleepy-Time Tease, Grassy Green, Guilt-o Shame-o, and their mysterious, omnipotent leader, Death Lord Doubt. Is today the day Joe will finally defeat them all and take the next step towards his dollar-store-owning dreams?

Joe is just an average guy, trying to make his way in the world, but he's pestered a bunch of "super-heroes" with really lousy powers. There's The Procrastinator, Sleepy-Time Tease, Grassy Green, Guilt-o Shame-o, and their mysterious, omnipotent leader, Death Lord Doubt. Is today the day Joe will finally defeat them all and take the next step towards his dollar-store-owning dreams?

Humans

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Two strangers meet in a post-apocalypse wasteland, and don't try to kill each other, for a change.

Two strangers meet in a post-apocalypse wasteland, and don't try to kill each other, for a change.

Hitchin' at the Junction

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

All is well at the Ennotville station when Bessie Buxom, a girl of plain features and modest assets, comes to town. But alas, she has arrived on the day the evil villain (and her arch nemesis) Cyril Snead has hatched his dastardly plot to derail the train and steal the bags of money it carries! It's up to Bessie to save the train, the station-master, and the day.

All is well at the Ennotville station when Bessie Buxom, a girl of plain features and modest assets, comes to town. But alas, she has arrived on the day the evil villain (and her arch nemesis) Cyril Snead has hatched his dastardly plot to derail the train and steal the bags of money it carries! It's up to Bessie to save the train, the station-master, and the day.

Dirty Deeds at Handlebar Dan's House of Old Wives, or, How Sally Simple Saved the Sarsaparilla Saloon

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

The title is so long that it pretty much says it all! "Gay 90's" melodrama, 6F/4M (cross-gender casting appropriate and encouraged).

The title is so long that it pretty much says it all! "Gay 90's" melodrama, 6F/4M (cross-gender casting appropriate and encouraged).

Cement Head

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A recently-retired construction worker hires an actress to help him get some closure on his past before he dies.

A recently-retired construction worker hires an actress to help him get some closure on his past before he dies.

To Do or Not to Do

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Ever wonder what the little angel and the little devil that fly just over your shoulders do when they're not trying to help you sort out a major moral conundrum? Watch Red and White battle it out inside Emma's head as they struggle to meet the demands of their respective bosses.

Ever wonder what the little angel and the little devil that fly just over your shoulders do when they're not trying to help you sort out a major moral conundrum? Watch Red and White battle it out inside Emma's head as they struggle to meet the demands of their respective bosses.

Dress Code

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

In a dystopian future where Canada suffers under an oppressive regime that forces everyone to wear the same drab, generic clothing a few rebellious teens meet in secret, to share knowledge of the clothes of the past. But the risk they run is very high, for at any moment the much feared and hated Fashion Police could come crashing through the door, and arrest them all for their defiant behaviour.

In a dystopian future where Canada suffers under an oppressive regime that forces everyone to wear the same drab, generic clothing a few rebellious teens meet in secret, to share knowledge of the clothes of the past. But the risk they run is very high, for at any moment the much feared and hated Fashion Police could come crashing through the door, and arrest them all for their defiant behaviour.

The Reeve's Tale

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

This Canterbury Tale is actually about an unscrupulous miller, his wife, his eldest daughter, a baby, a cradle, and two very handsome, virile, intelligent young gentlemen scholars - okay, so they're more scholars than gentlemen, but they are quite virile. TW: coarse language, mature content.

This Canterbury Tale is actually about an unscrupulous miller, his wife, his eldest daughter, a baby, a cradle, and two very handsome, virile, intelligent young gentlemen scholars - okay, so they're more scholars than gentlemen, but they are quite virile. TW: coarse language, mature content.

The Miller's Tale

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Based on the rather raunchy Canterbury Tale, you should probably bring your own bathtub to this one. TW: mature content.

Based on the rather raunchy Canterbury Tale, you should probably bring your own bathtub to this one. TW: mature content.

Border Dispute

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Two people reconnect, after being apart for a while, and not by mutual agreement.

Two people reconnect, after being apart for a while, and not by mutual agreement.

Hen House Hotties

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Feathers fly as three desperate housewives vie to win a pair of backyard chickens.

Feathers fly as three desperate housewives vie to win a pair of backyard chickens.

Living

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A young man hurtles into his apartment after a night of drinking, heading straight for the bathroom. A shadow creeps in the open door, a young woman, also drunk, with just one wish - to die. In the darkness of the night these two strangers do battle with themselves and each other, with nothing less than their lives on the line. TW: coarse language, violence, nudity, mature content, discussions and depictions of...

A young man hurtles into his apartment after a night of drinking, heading straight for the bathroom. A shadow creeps in the open door, a young woman, also drunk, with just one wish - to die. In the darkness of the night these two strangers do battle with themselves and each other, with nothing less than their lives on the line. TW: coarse language, violence, nudity, mature content, discussions and depictions of suicide.

Big Money

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

The pandemic is finally over. Three budding entrepreneurs gather at the lakeside retreat of an eccentric millionaire to pitch their ideas for new business ventures to take advantage of the opportunities in this brand new world. But the irrepressible joy and zest for life of a mysterious house guest pulls them away, towards something more important than the three million dollars they came there to seize.

The pandemic is finally over. Three budding entrepreneurs gather at the lakeside retreat of an eccentric millionaire to pitch their ideas for new business ventures to take advantage of the opportunities in this brand new world. But the irrepressible joy and zest for life of a mysterious house guest pulls them away, towards something more important than the three million dollars they came there to seize.

Sinistral Intentions

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

An old man takes his daughter and granddaughters fishing for the weekend, or at least that's what he's told them. A satiric look at populism run amok.

An old man takes his daughter and granddaughters fishing for the weekend, or at least that's what he's told them. A satiric look at populism run amok.

Okay

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Are you okay? I mean really, are you okay? No, you're not okay. Companion piece with Diagnosis: BDE. TW: mental healthcare.

Are you okay? I mean really, are you okay? No, you're not okay. Companion piece with Diagnosis: BDE. TW: mental healthcare.

Diagnosis: BDE

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Companion piece to Okay, based on a popular song. Can you guess which one? TW: mature content, discussions of mental/sexual health issues.

Companion piece to Okay, based on a popular song. Can you guess which one? TW: mature content, discussions of mental/sexual health issues.

Room 101

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

In an Orwellian-inspired room with two locked doors, three people confront their greatest fears. TW: coarse language, mature content.

In an Orwellian-inspired room with two locked doors, three people confront their greatest fears. TW: coarse language, mature content.

Home Farm

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

This play was conceived of before the Canadian Beef industry was destroyed by the paranoia over BSE, or Mad Cow Disease. Rewritten to adequately reflect the impact this has had on Canadian agriculture, Home Farm has become a eulogy of sorts for the family farm.

This play was conceived of before the Canadian Beef industry was destroyed by the paranoia over BSE, or Mad Cow Disease. Rewritten to adequately reflect the impact this has had on Canadian agriculture, Home Farm has become a eulogy of sorts for the family farm.

All My Sins Remembered

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A mid-sized Western town of no particular importance is besieged by a bizarre string of gruesome murders. As the bodies pile up it becomes apparent that each of the incidents closely mimic the murders, suicides and battle-kills of Shakespearean tragedies. Suspicions fly around a graduate student at the university who's writing his thesis on the Bard's treatment of death. But the case is far from certain, and the...

A mid-sized Western town of no particular importance is besieged by a bizarre string of gruesome murders. As the bodies pile up it becomes apparent that each of the incidents closely mimic the murders, suicides and battle-kills of Shakespearean tragedies. Suspicions fly around a graduate student at the university who's writing his thesis on the Bard's treatment of death. But the case is far from certain, and the student himself is sure he is innocent. TW: coarse language, violence, mature content.

Checkmate

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A girl, a boy, a high school chess club, a little romance, and a dash of murder.

A girl, a boy, a high school chess club, a little romance, and a dash of murder.

Leftovers

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Two homeless people with collections of unusual belongings meet in an abandoned store. A third woman walks in with a child, determined to eat them. TW: coarse language.

Two homeless people with collections of unusual belongings meet in an abandoned store. A third woman walks in with a child, determined to eat them. TW: coarse language.

Have You Flogged Your Crew Today?

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A story of 25 years of making theatre, from the first time being yelled at to mishandling a piece of sound gear to having a national career cut down by Covid-19.

A story of 25 years of making theatre, from the first time being yelled at to mishandling a piece of sound gear to having a national career cut down by Covid-19.

Human Nature

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Three people meet in a prison cell. One has just been tortured. The other two hide terrifying secrets. TW: violence, coarse language, nudity, mature content.

Three people meet in a prison cell. One has just been tortured. The other two hide terrifying secrets. TW: violence, coarse language, nudity, mature content.

Stalemate

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

An old man and a young woman have a standing game of chess, every week, or at least that's what they both seem to think it is. Maybe this week it will turn into something more, or maybe the two of them will never play chess together again.

An old man and a young woman have a standing game of chess, every week, or at least that's what they both seem to think it is. Maybe this week it will turn into something more, or maybe the two of them will never play chess together again.

Crushed

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

How far would you go to try to make peace with your past, and what if it all went horribly wrong? TW: coarse language, mature content.

How far would you go to try to make peace with your past, and what if it all went horribly wrong? TW: coarse language, mature content.

Maid of Stone

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A brilliant-but-flawed Millennial searches for meaning in a world descending into a neo-fascist hell-scape, pushing away her mother and her daughter, until she falls (or did she jump? or was she pushed?) out of the corner office window of her multi-national pharmaceutical company.

A brilliant-but-flawed Millennial searches for meaning in a world descending into a neo-fascist hell-scape, pushing away her mother and her daughter, until she falls (or did she jump? or was she pushed?) out of the corner office window of her multi-national pharmaceutical company.

Muzzle Blast

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A mother and her daughter cling to civility in a low-rent Montreal apartment. A father of two moves in next door after a long and bitter divorce. Love, lust, and the longing for better days behind and ahead ferment within all three, until the politics of violence ignites a powder keg of emotion beneath their feet. TW: coarse language, domestic violence, mature content.

A mother and her daughter cling to civility in a low-rent Montreal apartment. A father of two moves in next door after a long and bitter divorce. Love, lust, and the longing for better days behind and ahead ferment within all three, until the politics of violence ignites a powder keg of emotion beneath their feet. TW: coarse language, domestic violence, mature content.

The Three Witches

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

It's load-in day for "The Scottish Play," and there's a few surprises waiting in the dressing room. TW: Coarse language, nudity, mature content.

It's load-in day for "The Scottish Play," and there's a few surprises waiting in the dressing room. TW: Coarse language, nudity, mature content.

Selfie

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Three people are stranded in a deserted field at the end of the day after a sketchy music festival. Only two of them are going to get home safely. TW: coarse language, mature content.

Three people are stranded in a deserted field at the end of the day after a sketchy music festival. Only two of them are going to get home safely. TW: coarse language, mature content.

Where Corn Don't Grow

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Samuel is an abusive, alcoholic father, having completely failed to carry on after his wife's death. When his kids come home from school one afternoon they carry with them news that will finally bring their secret out into the open, and tear the family apart. TW: coarse language, mature content, descriptions of sexual abuse.

Samuel is an abusive, alcoholic father, having completely failed to carry on after his wife's death. When his kids come home from school one afternoon they carry with them news that will finally bring their secret out into the open, and tear the family apart. TW: coarse language, mature content, descriptions of sexual abuse.

Biosphere

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

It's a bleak, barren, post-apocalypse planet Earth. A young woman staggers out of the wastelands and into the fortified oasis of the Pentheus clan, one of the last remaining pockets of humanity. But before Dakota can even begin to beg for her acceptance into the clan outside forces thrust them all into an epic battle for their very survival.

It's a bleak, barren, post-apocalypse planet Earth. A young woman staggers out of the wastelands and into the fortified oasis of the Pentheus clan, one of the last remaining pockets of humanity. But before Dakota can even begin to beg for her acceptance into the clan outside forces thrust them all into an epic battle for their very survival.

Lost and Found

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

A man and a woman are thrown up on a rock in the ocean after a shipwreck, where they must wait to die. TW: Coarse language, violence, partial nudity, mature content, discussions of death.

A man and a woman are thrown up on a rock in the ocean after a shipwreck, where they must wait to die. TW: Coarse language, violence, partial nudity, mature content, discussions of death.

Not Another Play about a Play

by Eric Goudie

Synopsis

Aren't we getting sick of those? TW: Coarse language, mature content.

Aren't we getting sick of those? TW: Coarse language, mature content.