Richard Lyons Conlon

Richard is a Resident Playwright Alum at Chicago Dramatists and proud Lifetime Member of the Dramatists Guild of America. He is an O’Neill Playwrights Conference honoree, and was selected as a 2020 Kennedy Center Playwright.

Most recently, his social satire 7 MINUTES TO LIVE received its world premiere in an extended run at Chicago Dramatists. Reviewers called it: “highly entertaining”, “funny, sexy, action-packed” with “whip-smart dialogue”; and said it had: “relationships that will knock your socks off”, and “sharp observations about the dangers we imagine in life”.

Richard’s work has won numerous awards and has been published by Next Stage Press, Eldridge Publishing, and Smith & Kraus. He has written over 50 plays, including: 7 MINUTES TO LIVE (Eugene O'Neill Playwrights Conference...

Richard is a Resident Playwright Alum at Chicago Dramatists and proud Lifetime Member of the Dramatists Guild of America. He is an O’Neill Playwrights Conference honoree, and was selected as a 2020 Kennedy Center Playwright.

Most recently, his social satire 7 MINUTES TO LIVE received its world premiere in an extended run at Chicago Dramatists. Reviewers called it: “highly entertaining”, “funny, sexy, action-packed” with “whip-smart dialogue”; and said it had: “relationships that will knock your socks off”, and “sharp observations about the dangers we imagine in life”.

Richard’s work has won numerous awards and has been published by Next Stage Press, Eldridge Publishing, and Smith & Kraus. He has written over 50 plays, including: 7 MINUTES TO LIVE (Eugene O'Neill Playwrights Conference Semi-Finalist), and ONE TIME (record-breaking production: Next Act Theatre; Winner: Best Comedy at the 2022 Legacy Play Festival, published in 2022 by Next Stage Press, Gold Prize Winner: the Beverly Hills Stage Play Competition). Additionally, INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY was recently published by Next Stage Press; an excerpt was previously chosen for the SMITH & KRAUS anthology, Best Women's Monologues 2021; it was also a Finalist for the 2017 HRC Showcase Theatre New Play Contest in New York. And MEMORY, SPEAK was Finalist for Sky Blue Theatre's 2021 British Theatre Challenge. His latest play THE EDUCATION OF FRAT BOY ROOFIE was selected for the SMITH & KRAUS anthology, Best Women's Monologues 2023. His multi-award-winning play about artificial intelligence and literature – THE VOLITIVE EFFECT OF ORAL LITERARY INUNDATION ON THE LSTM RECURRENT NEURAL NETWORK -- was the First Prize Winner of the 2017 Stonybrook University Science Playwriting Award and was a featured presentation at the 2022 TEDx Conference.

Scripts

7 Minutes to Live

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

"Highly entertaining", "Whip-smart dialogue", "Sharp observations about the dangers we imagine in life vs. what's really dragging us down" -- Kerry Reid, Chicago Reader

"Unexpected, entertaining . . . funny, sexy, action-packed . . . well worth discovering", "From the arresting opening, the play leans into dramatic action" -- Stephanie Kulke, Chicago Stage and Screen

"An engaging, irreverant, meta-theatrical...

"Highly entertaining", "Whip-smart dialogue", "Sharp observations about the dangers we imagine in life vs. what's really dragging us down" -- Kerry Reid, Chicago Reader

"Unexpected, entertaining . . . funny, sexy, action-packed . . . well worth discovering", "From the arresting opening, the play leans into dramatic action" -- Stephanie Kulke, Chicago Stage and Screen

"An engaging, irreverant, meta-theatrical romp." -- Adam Greenfield, Playwrights Horizon

SYNOPSIS:
No metaphor. No joke. Henry Crawford has exactly seven minutes to live and he's dying to tell you all about it.

Henry is fairly new to "the big city", where he has moved to escape his father's affluence and influence and strike out on his own. After a year or so of floundering, life has started to look up as he has found love in the free-spirited, "exotic" Vanessa.

The play opens with Henry's voice ringing out of the darkness, asking, "You want to hear something funny?" The lights reveal Henry in his underwear, looking like hell, nose broken, shirt bloody -- chained to a dumpster in an alley.

Swinging from belligerent to obsequious, he begs/commands the audience to listen the whole sad, twisted tale of how he found himself in this predicament, his very own "great American tragedy".

His story starts late the night before in his apartment, when he is visited by first, Vanessa, and later, her menacing brother, Luke.

Vanessa and Luke turn Henry's life upside down with their inscrutable, shifting agendas and bewildering mix of physical, mental, sexual, and yes -- literary -- intimidation. Henry's next-door neighbor Eddy, a non-binary stoner, tries to mediate as best they can, but there's little anyone can do once Luke decides to teach Henry the meaning of privilege and oppression, setting into motion the forces which now leave Henry with mere minutes to live.

The four characters in this play present a microcosm of class, racial, and sexual warfare in our society. White male Henry comes from privilege, yet bemoans his lot in life. Luke, who is black, and Vanessa (adopted siblings, of different ethnicities) are seemingly homeless wanderers who expose his prejudices and insecurities. Eddy (Edwinna) goes against gender stereotype at every turn.

Intellectual Property

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
JUST PUBLISHED! The main character in misanthropic novelist Victor Pagán's third novel is Vivien Langford, who happens to be the world's biggest movie star. Vivien Langford, however, is a flesh-and-blood human being -- an accomplished writer herself -- and she's having none of it. Outraged by his unwanted misappropriation of her persona, she immediately sues to stop the book's...

[FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
JUST PUBLISHED! The main character in misanthropic novelist Victor Pagán's third novel is Vivien Langford, who happens to be the world's biggest movie star. Vivien Langford, however, is a flesh-and-blood human being -- an accomplished writer herself -- and she's having none of it. Outraged by his unwanted misappropriation of her persona, she immediately sues to stop the book's distribution. But she goes further -- much further. Contacting Victor directly in a series of FaceTime exchanges, she proceeds to dismantle his misogynistic, condescending character (and meager oeuvre), finally leaving him one option for redemption:
She'll allow his book to come out if he agrees to a very public humiliation.
Based on true events.

One Time

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[FULL-LENGTH ROM COM DRAM]
Sometimes it takes a lifetime of stories to tell the story of a lifetime.

Unrequited love, religious epiphanies, posing in the nude, an abusive marriage, and the secret powers of nuns ... these are just some of the stories Sonia and Mason tell each other from their individual lives.

As the stories unfold -- and the mysteries and tension heighten -- we discover there is so much more...

[FULL-LENGTH ROM COM DRAM]
Sometimes it takes a lifetime of stories to tell the story of a lifetime.

Unrequited love, religious epiphanies, posing in the nude, an abusive marriage, and the secret powers of nuns ... these are just some of the stories Sonia and Mason tell each other from their individual lives.

As the stories unfold -- and the mysteries and tension heighten -- we discover there is so much more to Sonia and Mason than at first appears . . . so much more to the stories . . . and so much more to their relationship -- past and present.

Now, can they complete the story of a common past they once shared more than three decades earlier?

Meredith & Friends (formerly: You're Welcome Thank You)

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

Meredith's business is failing. Perhaps, Meredith is failing. A chance encounter with Elizabeth may present her last chance to save her talent agency -- Meredith & Friends -- which she built from the ground up. If only Elizabeth wasn't so damned annoying . . .

Meredith's business is failing. Perhaps, Meredith is failing. A chance encounter with Elizabeth may present her last chance to save her talent agency -- Meredith & Friends -- which she built from the ground up. If only Elizabeth wasn't so damned annoying . . .

Reflections of a Man Above Men

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

One never knows what to expect when attending a storefront theatre production. Here, an audience files in to their seats in twos and threes only to discover waiting for them, a silent audience already settled, seemingly waiting for them. As they grow more agitated and decide they’ve had enough of this “gimmick” . . . a play breaks out -- a ”Clockwork Orange” dystopian knock-off serving up a peculiar brand of...

One never knows what to expect when attending a storefront theatre production. Here, an audience files in to their seats in twos and threes only to discover waiting for them, a silent audience already settled, seemingly waiting for them. As they grow more agitated and decide they’ve had enough of this “gimmick” . . . a play breaks out -- a ”Clockwork Orange” dystopian knock-off serving up a peculiar brand of dismemberment-for-hire. Now, it is up to the audience to react to what they’ve just seen.

MFA* *Monster of Fine Arts

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

SYNOPSIS
When Marla and Darla LaPorte visit their mother's house deep in the woods of southern Illinois, they discover their former high school classmate (and current biotech billionaire) Portnoy Sharp and Mom have been cooking up something less than natural in the basement.

SYNOPSIS
When Marla and Darla LaPorte visit their mother's house deep in the woods of southern Illinois, they discover their former high school classmate (and current biotech billionaire) Portnoy Sharp and Mom have been cooking up something less than natural in the basement.

Dr. Maladroix's Advanced P.E. Class

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

Planetary engineering is everything to the remnants of mankind, now living on the terraformed colony that is Saturn's largest moon, Titan. And Titan University's class on Planetary Engineering -- and its vaunted "special project" -- is the key to a better life for its desperate students. In fact, some students will do anything to excel in the class -- even if it's not quite legal or, for that matter, possible.

Planetary engineering is everything to the remnants of mankind, now living on the terraformed colony that is Saturn's largest moon, Titan. And Titan University's class on Planetary Engineering -- and its vaunted "special project" -- is the key to a better life for its desperate students. In fact, some students will do anything to excel in the class -- even if it's not quite legal or, for that matter, possible.

The Versionary

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

Graphic artist Lloyd changed jobs to avoid being pigeon-holed as a “versioner” – someone whose only duties are to make dozens and dozens of versions of coupons, etc. But at his new job, that’s exactly what his first project is. He agrees to do it one time. Then, he notices these are very unusual versions.

Graphic artist Lloyd changed jobs to avoid being pigeon-holed as a “versioner” – someone whose only duties are to make dozens and dozens of versions of coupons, etc. But at his new job, that’s exactly what his first project is. He agrees to do it one time. Then, he notices these are very unusual versions.

Sally's Big Day Out

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

Sally sure is one lucky ten-and-a-half-year-old girl.

“I bet this seems like a really big day for you, doesn’t it, Sally? It’s not every little girl gets to come downtown, sit in a fancy committee room, and talk to some of the most important people in town. A very big day.”

Yes, Sally gets to explain to this committee of local political leaders why she should be allowed to have an abortion after being raped...

Sally sure is one lucky ten-and-a-half-year-old girl.

“I bet this seems like a really big day for you, doesn’t it, Sally? It’s not every little girl gets to come downtown, sit in a fancy committee room, and talk to some of the most important people in town. A very big day.”

Yes, Sally gets to explain to this committee of local political leaders why she should be allowed to have an abortion after being raped.

A very big day for Sally, indeed.

The Education of Frat Boy Roofie

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

"This play is very well crafted and the characters and mystery of the world are incredibly interesting. It is certainly very impactful in its message." -- Sideshow Theatre, Chicago.

Synopsis: Fortunate-son Rudy Dressler has enjoyed every privilege a patriarchal spawn can expect. But after a criminally unjust justice system allows him to evade prison on a highly publicized sexual assault charge, he has to take a...

"This play is very well crafted and the characters and mystery of the world are incredibly interesting. It is certainly very impactful in its message." -- Sideshow Theatre, Chicago.

Synopsis: Fortunate-son Rudy Dressler has enjoyed every privilege a patriarchal spawn can expect. But after a criminally unjust justice system allows him to evade prison on a highly publicized sexual assault charge, he has to take a job at a mysterious company owned by one of his father’s cronies. And his new co-workers are anything but pleased. A noir fable of privilege and accountability.

Covid Cohab

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

10 short scenes in the quarantined life of Courtney and Charlie, a divorcing couple forced to shelter-in-place together. Don't worry -- it's NOT a romantic comedy. 15 minutes.

10 short scenes in the quarantined life of Courtney and Charlie, a divorcing couple forced to shelter-in-place together. Don't worry -- it's NOT a romantic comedy. 15 minutes.

Everything But Dead

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[TEN-MINUTE DRAMA]
Not all loved ones are loved ones . . .

Karissa and Eileen have just been informed that there's no hope that Tom, their husband and son respectively, will ever regain consciousness after a car accident. The decision must be made to either remove life support (and help others by harvesting his organs), or let him continue indefinitely (which could mean years).

Eileen wants to wait, hoping...

[TEN-MINUTE DRAMA]
Not all loved ones are loved ones . . .

Karissa and Eileen have just been informed that there's no hope that Tom, their husband and son respectively, will ever regain consciousness after a car accident. The decision must be made to either remove life support (and help others by harvesting his organs), or let him continue indefinitely (which could mean years).

Eileen wants to wait, hoping beyond hope he'll wake up. But Karissa, who was on the verge of leaving Tom before the accident, is not so sure. And her lifelong friend, Gina, has very definite ideas about when Tom should go.

The Volitive Effect of Oral Literary Inundation on the LSTM Recurrent Neural Network

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[TEN-MINUTE EXPERIMENTAL]
"We were curious . . . Six months ago, we began a project in which a small army of volunteers -- students, faculty, community members -- read the world's great works of literature to an LSTM recurrent neural network, whom we've given the name Geoffrey (for Geoffrey Chaucer, of course). And now, after a brief processing period -- a time of creative reflection, if you will -- Geoffrey...

[TEN-MINUTE EXPERIMENTAL]
"We were curious . . . Six months ago, we began a project in which a small army of volunteers -- students, faculty, community members -- read the world's great works of literature to an LSTM recurrent neural network, whom we've given the name Geoffrey (for Geoffrey Chaucer, of course). And now, after a brief processing period -- a time of creative reflection, if you will -- Geoffrey will produce -- create, if you will -- the world's first artificially-generated work of literature. If you will."

Descanso

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[ONE-ACT DRAMA]
Every evening without fail, Beth appears on Marissa's front lawn to spend time at the makeshift memorial that's been erected there, the exact spot of her daughter's last moments of life after being struck by a hit-and-run driver. The two women have struck up a genuine friendship based on shared tragedy, but now Marissa is looking to move on — and she thinks Beth should do the same. (Formerly...

[ONE-ACT DRAMA]
Every evening without fail, Beth appears on Marissa's front lawn to spend time at the makeshift memorial that's been erected there, the exact spot of her daughter's last moments of life after being struck by a hit-and-run driver. The two women have struck up a genuine friendship based on shared tragedy, but now Marissa is looking to move on — and she thinks Beth should do the same. (Formerly titled: Send Forth Thy Mercies.)

Falling Into Macy

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[ONE-ACT COMEDY-DRAMA]
Fifteen short scenes about the relationships of two (and possibly, three) different couples. One, a long-time married pair who find their union in trouble. The other, two separately married co-workers trying to decide between friendship . . . or more. And then there's Macy, who has a vested interest in the fate of these relationships.

[ONE-ACT COMEDY-DRAMA]
Fifteen short scenes about the relationships of two (and possibly, three) different couples. One, a long-time married pair who find their union in trouble. The other, two separately married co-workers trying to decide between friendship . . . or more. And then there's Macy, who has a vested interest in the fate of these relationships.

The Most Hidden Thing

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
Mazy has always hated baseball — it took some arm-twisting by Owen, her on-again, off-again boyfriend, to even get her to go to a game. Getting hit on the head by a foul ball is not likely to change her mind.

To make things worse, when she comes to, Mazy seems to have developed, in addition to a headache, a very disturbing new talent (“Blessing? Curse? Party trick? I don’t know.”). It...

[FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
Mazy has always hated baseball — it took some arm-twisting by Owen, her on-again, off-again boyfriend, to even get her to go to a game. Getting hit on the head by a foul ball is not likely to change her mind.

To make things worse, when she comes to, Mazy seems to have developed, in addition to a headache, a very disturbing new talent (“Blessing? Curse? Party trick? I don’t know.”). It seems she can “see” anyone’s deepest, darkest secret, the one single thing no one ever wants to see the light of day. And she has a tendency to blurt it out without thinking.

Her new talent wreaks havoc in her life and those around her as she tries to figure out why she can do what she can do. She is helped along the way by a mysterious, possibly homeless, guide: Gert.

Mazy takes the audience into her confidence, breaking out from the action to share her thoughts and feelings with them directly. She comes to believe “something big was in the works . . . that this won’t stop until I see the biggest secret from the biggest individual I could encounter. A secret that would give meaning to everything.”

Char's Fucked-up Disaster of a Life

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[20-MINUTE DRAMA]
Liz's little sister, Char, is well-known for her bad decisions and impulsive behavior. So when Liz returns home to find Char on her couch, she tells herself she's prepared for the worst. But as Char takes her step-by-step through her latest sequence of poor choices, it becomes obvious that she is thinking of Liz as her last hope. But is Liz willing to overlook Char's path of destruction one...

[20-MINUTE DRAMA]
Liz's little sister, Char, is well-known for her bad decisions and impulsive behavior. So when Liz returns home to find Char on her couch, she tells herself she's prepared for the worst. But as Char takes her step-by-step through her latest sequence of poor choices, it becomes obvious that she is thinking of Liz as her last hope. But is Liz willing to overlook Char's path of destruction one more time? And anyway, it may be too late, thanks to the Supreme Court.

The Contrition Club

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
They say the hardest thing a parent can ever face is the death of a child. But what about a death caused BY their child? How does a parent face that? The guilt and the shame are in direct conflict with the natural need to support and protect their own child. A wickedly funny drama about second chances, no chances, and last chances.

[FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
They say the hardest thing a parent can ever face is the death of a child. But what about a death caused BY their child? How does a parent face that? The guilt and the shame are in direct conflict with the natural need to support and protect their own child. A wickedly funny drama about second chances, no chances, and last chances.

Emotional Affair

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[TEN-MINUTE MONOLOGUE]
While taking a home pregnancy test, thirty-something Brenda sorts through the debris of her extremely close relationship with co-worker William — a relationship that, despite its being "simply" a non-sexual, "emotional affair", ended very, very badly.

During an emotional roller-coaster of a monologue, we learn about her dysfunctional relationship with her mother, her loveless marriage to...

[TEN-MINUTE MONOLOGUE]
While taking a home pregnancy test, thirty-something Brenda sorts through the debris of her extremely close relationship with co-worker William — a relationship that, despite its being "simply" a non-sexual, "emotional affair", ended very, very badly.

During an emotional roller-coaster of a monologue, we learn about her dysfunctional relationship with her mother, her loveless marriage to Phillip ("I can sum up his idea of intimacy in two words: Internet porn."), the deep bond she once shared with William ("All we had was the tawdry sharing of our deepest, most intimate thoughts, feelings, and longings."), and what ultimately lead to the end.

Character Counts

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[FULL-LENGTH COMEDY]
One fine Saturday morning, Wren Wright finds a disturbing note in the mailbox, addressed to her. Anonymous, handwritten, unstamped, and positively cryptic, it reads simply: "Character Counts". Wren, already struggling with stability and balance issues, is set off on a journey to discover which of her "nosy, judgmental" neighbors sent it and why. Is the note, as she believes, condemning her...

[FULL-LENGTH COMEDY]
One fine Saturday morning, Wren Wright finds a disturbing note in the mailbox, addressed to her. Anonymous, handwritten, unstamped, and positively cryptic, it reads simply: "Character Counts". Wren, already struggling with stability and balance issues, is set off on a journey to discover which of her "nosy, judgmental" neighbors sent it and why. Is the note, as she believes, condemning her past behavior? Or is it, as her husband Ben asserts, commending her recent actions?
The prime suspect in Wren's estimation: 87-year old Edna Jenkins, with whom she's had a longstanding feud. Of course, Edna has her own skeletons rattling about (did she really rob her best friend's cradle?). Soon, it's learned that the neighborhood layabout and cowboy wannabe, Brett, has also received the note. As has the creepy, voyeuristic Mr. Maladroix. And who knows who else? Brett's teenage daughter Addie has her own higher-powered ideas about who sent it, but then so does everyone else. Before fingers can be fully pointed however, another, similar note arrives. And then another. And then, more.
And finally, a note arrives inviting all to meet at 10:00pm on a Friday in June to "discover the true meaning of character."
A somewhat mysterious, positively twisted, flat-out hilarious look at the neighborhoods and communities in which we all live.

Jackson

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

[TEN-MINUTE COMEDY]
Pauline returns to her desk to find something's missing. The likely suspect? Co-worker Simon, who sits at the next desk. Is Simon a thief? Or was this a cry for attention? Or was the missing item ever really there?

[TEN-MINUTE COMEDY]
Pauline returns to her desk to find something's missing. The likely suspect? Co-worker Simon, who sits at the next desk. Is Simon a thief? Or was this a cry for attention? Or was the missing item ever really there?

External Monitors

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

Lorraine and Lloyd are paid to keep an eye on the digital activity of their company's employees. Their directive is simple enough: "Observe and report -- no involvement, no interaction." Sometimes, though, that's easier said than done, especially when one employee is working on a screenplay on company time . . . and that screenplay is not up to their standards.

Lorraine and Lloyd are paid to keep an eye on the digital activity of their company's employees. Their directive is simple enough: "Observe and report -- no involvement, no interaction." Sometimes, though, that's easier said than done, especially when one employee is working on a screenplay on company time . . . and that screenplay is not up to their standards.

Memory, Speak

by Richard Lyons Conlon

Synopsis

On this week's episode of "Science Tomorrow: Today", the British television series on cutting-edge technological advances, David has volunteered for an experiment in memory enhancement technology. He relates the remnants of a long-ago, nearly forgotten memory, which is uploaded to a neural chip implanted in co-host Judith's cerebral cortex. An algorithm cross-references the memory scraps through an intensive...

On this week's episode of "Science Tomorrow: Today", the British television series on cutting-edge technological advances, David has volunteered for an experiment in memory enhancement technology. He relates the remnants of a long-ago, nearly forgotten memory, which is uploaded to a neural chip implanted in co-host Judith's cerebral cortex. An algorithm cross-references the memory scraps through an intensive worldwide data search, filling in the blanks with "deadly accuracy".

As Judith spontaneously relives David's memory live on air, it becomes quickly apparent there are things revealed which David would definitely have preferred remain forgotten.