Richard Lyons Conlon

Richard Lyons Conlon

A Resident Playwright Alumnus at Chicago Dramatists and proud member of the Dramatists Guild of America, Richard was recently honored to be selected for this year's Kennedy Center Playwriting Intensive.

Richard has written over forty plays (11 produced, 2 published, 10+ awards), including: 7 MINUTES TO LIVE (Eugene O'Neill Playwrights Conference Semi-Finalist), ONE TIME (record-breaking...
A Resident Playwright Alumnus at Chicago Dramatists and proud member of the Dramatists Guild of America, Richard was recently honored to be selected for this year's Kennedy Center Playwriting Intensive.

Richard has written over forty plays (11 produced, 2 published, 10+ awards), including: 7 MINUTES TO LIVE (Eugene O'Neill Playwrights Conference Semi-Finalist), ONE TIME (record-breaking production at Next Act Theatre; Gold Prize: 2015 Beverly Hills Stage Play Competition), THE VOLITIVE EFFECT OF ORAL LITERARY INUNDATION ON THE LSTM RECURRENT NEURAL NETWORK (First Prize Winner: 2017 Stonybrook University Science Playwriting Award; and Current Finalist: Playwrights' Round Table Shorts Festival), DESCANSO (Winner: WordWave One-Act Play Competition and Emerging Illinois Playwright Award), and COVID COHAB (Selection: American Blues Theatre Ripped Festival; and production at Taphouse Theatre).

Some theatres Richard has worked with . . .
In Chicago: Chicago Dramatists · Victory Gardens · American Blues Theater · The Second City · Ubiquitous Players · Otherworld · Raven · Naked Angels · Theatre Evolve.
Beyond Chicago: Next Act · Santa Fe Playhouse · Theatre Southwest · Taphouse Theatre · Actors' Theatre · Ruckus Rockwell.
In New York City: Urban Stages, Vulcan Theatre, and Rhino Theatre.

By downloading any of the plays below, you hereby acknowledge that Richard Lyons Conlon is the sole copyright owner of these plays. None of these plays may be produced or reproduced in whole or in part unless permission is granted by Richard Lyons Conlon.

Plays

  • Intellectual Property by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    5
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 2 more
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    Keyword: identity theft, literary artist rights privilege + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, drama, satire
    Keyword: identity theft, literary artist rights privilege, misogyny, metoo, sexism in the arts
    [FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
    The main character in misanthropic novelist Victor Pagán's third novel is Vivien Langford, who happens to be the world's biggest movie star. Vivien Langford, however, is a flesh-and-blood human being -- an accomplished writer herself -- and she's having none of it. Outraged by his unwanted misappropriation of her persona, she immediately sues to stop the book...
    [FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
    The main character in misanthropic novelist Victor Pagán's third novel is Vivien Langford, who happens to be the world's biggest movie star. Vivien Langford, however, is a flesh-and-blood human being -- an accomplished writer herself -- and she's having none of it. Outraged by his unwanted misappropriation of her persona, she immediately sues to stop the book's distribution. But she goes further -- much further. Contacting Victor directly in a series of FaceTime exchanges, she proceeds to dismantle his misogynistic, condescending character (and meager oeuvre), finally leaving him one option for redemption:
    She'll allow his book to come out if he agrees to a very public humiliation.
    Based on true events.
  • Sally's Big Day Out by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Cast: 
    5
    ·
    Genre: political, satire
    ·
    Keyword: abortion rights, Roe v. Wade + 8 more
    Genre: political, satire
    Keyword: abortion rights, Roe v. Wade, rape, misogyny, G.O.P. oppression, women's rights, rise of authoritarianism, right to choose, Government Overreach, Handmaid's Tale
    Sally sure is one lucky ten-and-a-half-year-old girl.

    “I bet this seems like a really big day for you, doesn’t it, Sally? It’s not every little girl gets to come downtown, sit in a fancy committee room, and talk to some of the most important people in town. A very big day.”

    Yes, Sally gets to explain to this committee of local political leaders why she should be allowed to have an...
    Sally sure is one lucky ten-and-a-half-year-old girl.

    “I bet this seems like a really big day for you, doesn’t it, Sally? It’s not every little girl gets to come downtown, sit in a fancy committee room, and talk to some of the most important people in town. A very big day.”

    Yes, Sally gets to explain to this committee of local political leaders why she should be allowed to have an abortion after being raped.

    A very big day for Sally, indeed.
  • The Education of Frat Boy Roofie by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Cast: 
    8–12
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy, drama + 6 more
    ·
    Keyword: social injustice, rape culture + 8 more
    Genre: dark comedy, drama, experimental, fable/folktale, fantasy, political, satire, tragedy
    Keyword: social injustice, rape culture, white privilege, patriarchy, sexism, racism, female empowerment, political fantasy, art history, art fraud
    "This play is very well crafted and the characters and mystery of the world are incredibly interesting. It is certainly very impactful in its message." -- Sideshow Theatre, Chicago.

    Synopsis: Fortunate-son Rudy Dressler has enjoyed every privilege a patriarchal spawn can expect. But after a criminally unjust justice system allows him to evade prison on a highly publicized sexual assault...
    "This play is very well crafted and the characters and mystery of the world are incredibly interesting. It is certainly very impactful in its message." -- Sideshow Theatre, Chicago.

    Synopsis: Fortunate-son Rudy Dressler has enjoyed every privilege a patriarchal spawn can expect. But after a criminally unjust justice system allows him to evade prison on a highly publicized sexual assault charge, he has to take a job at a mysterious company owned by one of his father’s cronies. And his new co-workers are anything but pleased. A noir fable of privilege and accountability.
  • 7 Minutes to Live by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 8
    ·
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy, drama + 4 more
    ·
    Keyword: class warfare, white privilege + 8 more
    Genre: dark comedy, drama, experimental, mystery/thriller, political, satire
    Keyword: class warfare, white privilege, systemic racism, twisted social satire, Brontë, homelessness, conspiracy theories, Sex, violence, Mozart
    "An engaging, irreverant, meta-theatrical romp." -- Adam Greenfield, Playwrights Horizon

    SYNOPSIS:
    No metaphor. No joke. Child of privilege Henry Crawford has exactly seven minutes to live and he's dying to tell us the whole sad, twisted tale of how he ended up handcuffed to a dumpster in his underwear — with broken nose and bloodied shirt and 420 seconds left of life. He...
    "An engaging, irreverant, meta-theatrical romp." -- Adam Greenfield, Playwrights Horizon

    SYNOPSIS:
    No metaphor. No joke. Child of privilege Henry Crawford has exactly seven minutes to live and he's dying to tell us the whole sad, twisted tale of how he ended up handcuffed to a dumpster in his underwear — with broken nose and bloodied shirt and 420 seconds left of life. He tells us how his wild child girlfriend Vanessa and her erratic, fast-talking brother Luke -- along with nonbinary, weed-farming neighbor Eddy -- expose his prejudices and insecurities during a bewildering evening of physical, mental, sexual, and literary intimidation, setting into motion the forces which now leave Henry with mere minutes to live.
  • Covid Cohab by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 3
    ·
    Cast: 
    2–4
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy, drama + 5 more
    ·
    Keyword: Covid-19
    Genre: dark comedy, drama, immersive, movement/physical, political, satire, tragedy
    Keyword: Covid-19
    10 short scenes in the quarantined life of Courtney and Charlie, a divorcing couple forced to shelter-in-place together. Don't worry -- it's NOT a romantic comedy. 15 minutes.
  • Everything But Dead by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 19
    ·
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: drama
    ·
    Keyword: euthanasia, domestic violence + 6 more
    Genre: drama
    Keyword: euthanasia, domestic violence, fighting back, car accident, brain death, life support, real justice, organ donation
    [TEN-MINUTE DRAMA]
    Not all loved ones are loved ones . . .

    Karissa and Eileen have just been informed that there's no hope that Tom, their husband and son respectively, will ever regain consciousness after a car accident. The decision must be made to either remove life support (and help others by harvesting his organs), or let him continue indefinitely (which could mean years)....
    [TEN-MINUTE DRAMA]
    Not all loved ones are loved ones . . .

    Karissa and Eileen have just been informed that there's no hope that Tom, their husband and son respectively, will ever regain consciousness after a car accident. The decision must be made to either remove life support (and help others by harvesting his organs), or let him continue indefinitely (which could mean years).

    Eileen wants to wait, hoping beyond hope he'll wake up. But Karissa, who was on the verge of leaving Tom before the accident, is not so sure. And her lifelong friend, Gina, has very definite ideas about when Tom should go.
  • The Volitive Effect of Oral Literary Inundation on the LSTM Recurrent Neural Network by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 6
    ·
    Cast: 
    6–8
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy, experimental + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: artificial intelligence, literature + 6 more
    Genre: dark comedy, experimental, parody/spoof, satire, science fiction
    Keyword: artificial intelligence, literature, creativity, writing, pressure, technological singularity, man vs. machine, writer's block
    [TEN-MINUTE EXPERIMENTAL]
    "We were curious . . . Six months ago, we began a project in which a small army of volunteers -- students, faculty, community members -- read the world's great works of literature to an LSTM recurrent neural network, whom we've given the name Geoffrey (for Geoffrey Chaucer, of course). And now, after a brief processing period -- a time of creative reflection, if...
    [TEN-MINUTE EXPERIMENTAL]
    "We were curious . . . Six months ago, we began a project in which a small army of volunteers -- students, faculty, community members -- read the world's great works of literature to an LSTM recurrent neural network, whom we've given the name Geoffrey (for Geoffrey Chaucer, of course). And now, after a brief processing period -- a time of creative reflection, if you will -- Geoffrey will produce -- create, if you will -- the world's first artificially-generated work of literature. If you will."
  • One Time by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 4
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, drama + 1 more
    Genre: comedy, drama, romantic comedy
    [FULL-LENGTH ROM COM DRAM]
    Sometimes it takes a lifetime of stories to tell the story of a lifetime.

    Unrequited love, religious epiphanies, posing in the nude, an abusive marriage, and the secret powers of nuns ... these are just some of the stories Sonia and Mason tell each other from their individual lives.

    As the stories unfold -- and the mysteries and tension heighten...
    [FULL-LENGTH ROM COM DRAM]
    Sometimes it takes a lifetime of stories to tell the story of a lifetime.

    Unrequited love, religious epiphanies, posing in the nude, an abusive marriage, and the secret powers of nuns ... these are just some of the stories Sonia and Mason tell each other from their individual lives.

    As the stories unfold -- and the mysteries and tension heighten -- we discover there is so much more to Sonia and Mason than at first appears . . . so much more to the stories . . . and so much more to their relationship -- past and present.

    Now, can they complete the story of a common past they once shared more than three decades earlier?
  • Descanso by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 2
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: drama, tragedy
    ·
    Keyword: descansos, makeshift memorial + 6 more
    Genre: drama, tragedy
    Keyword: descansos, makeshift memorial, hit-and-run, mother and daughter, grief, victim, Guardian Angels, helplessness
    [ONE-ACT DRAMA]
    Every evening without fail, Beth appears on Marissa's front lawn to spend time at the makeshift memorial that's been erected there, the exact spot of her daughter's last moments of life after being struck by a hit-and-run driver. The two women have struck up a genuine friendship based on shared tragedy, but now Marissa is looking to move on — and she thinks Beth should do...
    [ONE-ACT DRAMA]
    Every evening without fail, Beth appears on Marissa's front lawn to spend time at the makeshift memorial that's been erected there, the exact spot of her daughter's last moments of life after being struck by a hit-and-run driver. The two women have struck up a genuine friendship based on shared tragedy, but now Marissa is looking to move on — and she thinks Beth should do the same. (Formerly titled: Send Forth Thy Mercies.)
  • Falling Into Macy by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Cast: 
    5
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy, drama + 1 more
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    Keyword: Relationships, marriage + 8 more
    Genre: dark comedy, drama, experimental
    Keyword: Relationships, marriage, love, connection, intimacy, troubled marriage, carl jung, emotional affair, Sex, workplace
    [ONE-ACT COMEDY-DRAMA]
    Fifteen short scenes about the relationships of two (and possibly, three) different couples. One, a long-time married pair who find their union in trouble. The other, two separately married co-workers trying to decide between friendship . . . or more. And then there's Macy, who has a vested interest in the fate of these relationships.
  • The Most Hidden Thing by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Cast: 
    8–11
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy, drama
    ·
    Keyword: quirky, baseball + 2 more
    Genre: dark comedy, drama
    Keyword: quirky, baseball, Big Bang, existential
    [FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
    Mazy has always hated baseball — it took some arm-twisting by Owen, her on-again, off-again boyfriend, to even get her to go to a game. Getting hit on the head by a foul ball is not likely to change her mind.

    To make things worse, when she comes to, Mazy seems to have developed, in addition to a headache, a very disturbing new talent (“Blessing? Curse? Party...
    [FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
    Mazy has always hated baseball — it took some arm-twisting by Owen, her on-again, off-again boyfriend, to even get her to go to a game. Getting hit on the head by a foul ball is not likely to change her mind.

    To make things worse, when she comes to, Mazy seems to have developed, in addition to a headache, a very disturbing new talent (“Blessing? Curse? Party trick? I don’t know.”). It seems she can “see” anyone’s deepest, darkest secret, the one single thing no one ever wants to see the light of day. And she has a tendency to blurt it out without thinking.

    Her new talent wreaks havoc in her life and those around her as she tries to figure out why she can do what she can do. She is helped along the way by a mysterious, possibly homeless, guide: Gert.

    Mazy takes the audience into her confidence, breaking out from the action to share her thoughts and feelings with them directly. She comes to believe “something big was in the works . . . that this won’t stop until I see the biggest secret from the biggest individual I could encounter. A secret that would give meaning to everything.”
  • Char's Fucked-up Disaster of a Life by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy, drama + 1 more
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    Keyword: Sisters, LGBTQ + 7 more
    Genre: dark comedy, drama, political
    Keyword: Sisters, LGBTQ, roe vs wade, Supreme Court, women's rights, Reproductive Rights, 12-Step, unemployment, desperation
    [20-MINUTE DRAMA]
    Liz's little sister, Char, is well-known for her bad decisions and impulsive behavior. So when Liz returns home to find Char on her couch, she tells herself she's prepared for the worst. But as Char takes her step-by-step through her latest sequence of poor choices, it becomes obvious that she is thinking of Liz as her last hope. But is Liz willing to overlook Char's path...
    [20-MINUTE DRAMA]
    Liz's little sister, Char, is well-known for her bad decisions and impulsive behavior. So when Liz returns home to find Char on her couch, she tells herself she's prepared for the worst. But as Char takes her step-by-step through her latest sequence of poor choices, it becomes obvious that she is thinking of Liz as her last hope. But is Liz willing to overlook Char's path of destruction one more time? And anyway, it may be too late, thanks to the Supreme Court.
  • The Contrition Club by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    6
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy, drama + 3 more
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    Keyword: wickedly funny, accidental killing + 4 more
    Genre: dark comedy, drama, immersive, satire, tragedy
    Keyword: wickedly funny, accidental killing, guilt, support group, life-takers, redemption
    [FULL-LENGTH COMEDY-DRAMA]
    They say the hardest thing a parent can ever face is the death of a child. But what about a death caused BY their child? How does a parent face that? The guilt and the shame are in direct conflict with the natural need to support and protect their own child. A wickedly funny drama about second chances, no chances, and last chances.
  • Emotional Affair by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    1
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy
    ·
    Keyword: intimacy, bad breakups + 4 more
    Genre: dark comedy
    Keyword: intimacy, bad breakups, stream-of-consciousness, stream-of-pee, jealousy, manipulation
    [TEN-MINUTE MONOLOGUE]
    While taking a home pregnancy test, thirty-something Brenda sorts through the debris of her extremely close relationship with co-worker William — a relationship that, despite its being "simply" a non-sexual, "emotional affair", ended very, very badly.

    During an emotional roller-coaster of a monologue, we learn about her dysfunctional relationship...
    [TEN-MINUTE MONOLOGUE]
    While taking a home pregnancy test, thirty-something Brenda sorts through the debris of her extremely close relationship with co-worker William — a relationship that, despite its being "simply" a non-sexual, "emotional affair", ended very, very badly.

    During an emotional roller-coaster of a monologue, we learn about her dysfunctional relationship with her mother, her loveless marriage to Phillip ("I can sum up his idea of intimacy in two words: Internet porn."), the deep bond she once shared with William ("All we had was the tawdry sharing of our deepest, most intimate thoughts, feelings, and longings."), and what ultimately lead to the end.
  • Character Counts by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    6
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 1 more
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    Keyword: twisted, dark + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, satire
    Keyword: twisted, dark, nosy neighbors, social satire, community paranoia
    [FULL-LENGTH COMEDY]
    One fine Saturday morning, Wren Wright finds a disturbing note in the mailbox, addressed to her. Anonymous, handwritten, unstamped, and positively cryptic, it reads simply: "Character Counts". Wren, already struggling with stability and balance issues, is set off on a journey to discover which of her "nosy, judgmental" neighbors sent it and why. Is the note, as...
    [FULL-LENGTH COMEDY]
    One fine Saturday morning, Wren Wright finds a disturbing note in the mailbox, addressed to her. Anonymous, handwritten, unstamped, and positively cryptic, it reads simply: "Character Counts". Wren, already struggling with stability and balance issues, is set off on a journey to discover which of her "nosy, judgmental" neighbors sent it and why. Is the note, as she believes, condemning her past behavior? Or is it, as her husband Ben asserts, commending her recent actions?
    The prime suspect in Wren's estimation: 87-year old Edna Jenkins, with whom she's had a longstanding feud. Of course, Edna has her own skeletons rattling about (did she really rob her best friend's cradle?). Soon, it's learned that the neighborhood layabout and cowboy wannabe, Brett, has also received the note. As has the creepy, voyeuristic Mr. Maladroix. And who knows who else? Brett's teenage daughter Addie has her own higher-powered ideas about who sent it, but then so does everyone else. Before fingers can be fully pointed however, another, similar note arrives. And then another. And then, more.
    And finally, a note arrives inviting all to meet at 10:00pm on a Friday in June to "discover the true meaning of character."
    A somewhat mysterious, positively twisted, flat-out hilarious look at the neighborhoods and communities in which we all live.
  • You're Welcome Thank You by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy
    ·
    Keyword: women, talent agency + 7 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy
    Keyword: women, talent agency, desperation, manners, rudeness, act of kindness, business, high-rise, financial stress
    Meredith's business is failing. Perhaps, Meredith is failing. A chance encounter with Elizabeth may present her last chance to save her talent agency -- Meredith & Friends -- which she built from the ground up. If only Elizabeth wasn't so damned annoying . . .
  • Jackson by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 3
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy
    ·
    Keyword: office life, Lost Money + 5 more
    Genre: comedy
    Keyword: office life, Lost Money, HR, Human Resources, cubicles, privacy, headset
    [TEN-MINUTE COMEDY]
    Pauline returns to her desk to find something's missing. The likely suspect? Co-worker Simon, who sits at the next desk. Is Simon a thief? Or was this a cry for attention? Or was the missing item ever really there?
  • External Monitors by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    2
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: employee privacy, big brother + 4 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, satire
    Keyword: employee privacy, big brother, writing, screenplay, snitch, spy
    Lorraine and Lloyd are paid to keep an eye on the digital activity of their company's employees. Their directive is simple enough: "Observe and report -- no involvement, no interaction." Sometimes, though, that's easier said than done, especially when one employee is working on a screenplay on company time . . . and that screenplay is not up to their standards.
  • Memory, Speak by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Cast: 
    3
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy, mystery/thriller + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: sci-fi, technology + 5 more
    Genre: dark comedy, mystery/thriller, science fiction
    Keyword: sci-fi, technology, memory enhancement, television, science today, sexual assault, Me Too Movement
    On this week's episode of "Science Tomorrow: Today", the British television series on cutting-edge technological advances, David has volunteered for an experiment in memory enhancement technology. He relates the remnants of a long-ago, nearly forgotten memory, which is uploaded to a neural chip implanted in co-host Judith's cerebral cortex. An algorithm cross-references the memory scraps...
    On this week's episode of "Science Tomorrow: Today", the British television series on cutting-edge technological advances, David has volunteered for an experiment in memory enhancement technology. He relates the remnants of a long-ago, nearly forgotten memory, which is uploaded to a neural chip implanted in co-host Judith's cerebral cortex. An algorithm cross-references the memory scraps through an intensive worldwide data search, filling in the blanks with "deadly accuracy".

    As Judith spontaneously relives David's memory live on air, it becomes quickly apparent there are things revealed which David would definitely have preferred remain forgotten.
  • MFA* *Monster of Fine Arts by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Cast: 
    6
    ·
    Genre: comedy, movement/physical + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: sci-fi comedy, stage combat + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, movement/physical, parody/spoof, satire, science fiction
    Keyword: sci-fi comedy, stage combat, science fiction, solar eclipse, female empowerment
    SYNOPSIS
    When Marla and Darla LaPorte visit their mother's house deep in the woods of southern Illinois, they discover their former high school classmate (and current biotech billionaire) Portnoy Sharp and Mom have been cooking up something less than natural in the basement.
  • Dr. Maladroix's Advanced P.E. Class by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy + 3 more
    ·
    Keyword: Black Box Sci-Fi, time travel + 3 more
    Genre: comedy, dark comedy, political, satire, science fiction
    Keyword: Black Box Sci-Fi, time travel, global warming, Stephen Hawking, class project
    Planetary engineering is everything to the remnants of mankind, now living on the terraformed colony that is Saturn's largest moon, Titan. And Titan University's class on Planetary Engineering -- and its vaunted "special project" -- is the key to a better life for its desperate students. In fact, some students will do anything to excel in the class -- even if it's not quite legal or, for that matter, possible.
  • The Versionary by Richard Lyons Conlon
    Recommendations: 1
    ·
    Cast: 
    4
    ·
    Genre: dark comedy, drama + 1 more
    ·
    Keyword: sci-fi, parallel universe + 5 more
    Genre: dark comedy, drama, science fiction
    Keyword: sci-fi, parallel universe, alternate reality, Advertising, life choices, love and pain and domestic abuse, computer skills
    Graphic artist Lloyd changed jobs to avoid being pigeon-holed as a “versioner” – someone whose only duties are to make dozens and dozens of versions of coupons, etc. But at his new job, that’s exactly what his first project is. He agrees to do it one time. Then, he notices these are very unusual versions.