Maggie Gallant

Maggie Gallant

I'm a British-born playwright, performer, and reformed stand-up comedian, now living in Austin Texas. I write mostly dark comedies about identity and loss, and complicated family dynamics. My plays have tackled adoption, caregiving, motherhood, and end-of-life decisions. Hot Dogs at the Eiffel Tower, my critically acclaimed solo show, premiered in Austin’s FronteraFest Short Fringe. In 2019 the show...
I'm a British-born playwright, performer, and reformed stand-up comedian, now living in Austin Texas. I write mostly dark comedies about identity and loss, and complicated family dynamics. My plays have tackled adoption, caregiving, motherhood, and end-of-life decisions. Hot Dogs at the Eiffel Tower, my critically acclaimed solo show, premiered in Austin’s FronteraFest Short Fringe. In 2019 the show received 5-star reviews at the Winnipeg Fringe Festival, followed by a five-week run at Austin’s Hyde Park Theatre. Other full-length solo works include the Freddie Mercury tribute ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ and ‘Our Angle in Heaven’, a response to the death of Princess Diana. Most recently, my monologue Made In China, was selected as a winning finalist in the 2021 Hear Me Out Monologue Festival. I am a member of advocacy group, Honor Roll!, and The Dramatists Guild.

Plays

  • 21:34 and 32 seconds
    Monologue. London bus driver Nadeyn is a helper. She's driven this route for 14 years. As she navigates around selfish and reckless road users she reflects on the changes she's seen, for better and worse. But mostly she seeks absolution from the one woman she failed.

    This monologue was written partly in response to the abduction and murder of Sarah Everard by a police officer in England, in March 2021.
  • Kevorkian's Cat
    Ten-minute play. Former bioethicist, Professor Oliver, now lives in a memory care center. He is befriended by a cat who has a habit of visiting the rooms of residents who then pass away a few hours later. Is it a special gift or something darker? Oliver's wife Vicki thinks she knows and she wants that cat away from her husband. But Cat knows that today is Oliver's Big Day and Vicki may be about to...
    Ten-minute play. Former bioethicist, Professor Oliver, now lives in a memory care center. He is befriended by a cat who has a habit of visiting the rooms of residents who then pass away a few hours later. Is it a special gift or something darker? Oliver's wife Vicki thinks she knows and she wants that cat away from her husband. But Cat knows that today is Oliver's Big Day and Vicki may be about to spoil their plans.

    Inspired by the true story of Oscar, the nursing home cat.
  • The Little Boats
    Three-minute play. After fleeing Syria and an arduous trek to the coast of France, Maleek and his son Sadeq are just one short boat journey from the shores of England. Will treachery or the treacherous English Channel be their greatest peril?
  • Still Baking
    Four-minute play. With Maisie and Miles in the NICU, It's already stressful enough. But Kev's midnight snacking just makes it worse.
  • The Purple One
    Ten minute play. Valentine's Day and Dev is hoping to impress Lil with a romantic French-themed meal kit. But does a giant eggplant, (sorry, I mean aubergine), really constitute a four-course meal? Open the GASTRO! box and find out.
  • Everyone Has Their Price
    Ten minute play. Can money buy you everything? Lydia thinks so, and can’t quite believe that Naomi would turn down three quarters of a million dollars. But there’s more to this story than you think.

    This play was inspired by a January 2022 news story of a woman in Texas asking to buy another woman’s child in a Walmart store.
  • Chosen (A Monologue)
    This monologue is taken from Betwixt & Between, a one-act play.

    Set just after legislation gave New York adoptees the right to access their original birth certificate, Betwixt & Between is about the trauma underpinning adoption and the secrets and lies we are told, and tell ourselves.
    This monologue comes at the climax of the play. It is directed to adoption, the root of Lucy’s...
    This monologue is taken from Betwixt & Between, a one-act play.

    Set just after legislation gave New York adoptees the right to access their original birth certificate, Betwixt & Between is about the trauma underpinning adoption and the secrets and lies we are told, and tell ourselves.
    This monologue comes at the climax of the play. It is directed to adoption, the root of Lucy’s guilt, shame, and anger. Pushed to her limit, Lucy finally reckons with the impact adoption has had on every aspect of her life.
  • To the End of Time
    Ten-minute play. Ursula and Liam perform their last courtship dance among the seagrass beds on the West coast of Ireland. Ursula is desperate to see their species survive. Liam is stress-eating and trying to hold in a devastating secret.

    A great play for Irish dialect practicec.
  • Made In China
    Being stared at all day gets tiring but it's her job. So why would they try and send her back to a place she doesn't even remember, let alone know the language? A giant panda at London Zoo contemplates her fate.

    Winner Finalist of the 2021 Hear Me Out New American Monologue Competition.
  • Seen and Not Heard
    Monologue. Why are women still being blamed when they are the victims of sexual harassment and assault? Ali sits with her seeing-eye dog, Kira, and tries to make sense of what's happened.

    This monologue was written partly in response to the abduction and murder of Sarah Everard by a police officer in England, in March 2021.

    Part of the Conversations With Dog series.
  • For The Best
    Monologue. You're moving a loved one out of their home. How do you justify it? How do you forgive yourself? Miles tries his best to explain, while Lenny blissfully snoozes at his feet for perhaps the last time.

    Part of the Conversations with Dog series.
  • Hit Your Mark, Look for Bacon
    Monologue. Bosco has been yelled at by the scientologist and stunt loving action film star. Tina tries every tactic to lure Bosco out from under the sofa and get him back on set. If she fails, they both lose.

    Part of the Conversations with Dog series.
  • Late Checkout
    Samael takes great pride in his appearance, and in his job as a departure clerk. He doesn't even mind the cameras filming him for training purposes. But demanding guests and persistent bell dingers should beware their fate.

    A monologue.
  • Quilty Conscience
    Ten-minute play. What do you do with your parents' treasured belongings? Kat doesn't want any more of her mother-in-law's quilts. But the fire was an accident. Mostly. Kat's wife, Jenna, is desperately clinging to the last threads of her parents. Literally.
  • Hot Dogs at the Eiffel Tower
    One-hour solo comedy.

    What kind of parent KNITS their daughter a wool swimsuit? Or gives her a briefcase for her 11th birthday? Or keeps her in the dark about where she came from? British comedian Maggie Gallant shares her childhood embarrassments and adulthood discoveries as she unleashes a Pandora’s Box of hope, lies and ‘un très magnifique’ French Papa!
  • Betwixt & Between
    Set on January 15, 2020, the day that New York adoptees gained the right to obtain their original birth certificate, Betwixt & Between is about the liminal space between knowing and unknowing, aka The Gap’ (no, not that one).

    When Lucy trips into ‘The Gap’ she is confronted by her thirteen-year old fantasy self, Eloise, and the Caseworker assigned to help them both. When Eloise pushes too...
    Set on January 15, 2020, the day that New York adoptees gained the right to obtain their original birth certificate, Betwixt & Between is about the liminal space between knowing and unknowing, aka The Gap’ (no, not that one).

    When Lucy trips into ‘The Gap’ she is confronted by her thirteen-year old fantasy self, Eloise, and the Caseworker assigned to help them both. When Eloise pushes too far, Lucy must grapple with who she is, who she was, and who she might have been.